Belle Of The Brawl

| 01 days alcohol sober. CW: 109 LW: 89 UGW: 95 | Veteran | Female | Homeowner | Pittie mom | 18+

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This blog is for me to open up about my thoughts and to hopefully get better by expressing the way I feel rather than numbing my thoughts or keeping it all in.

I’m here to make friends, communicate and connect with others that are going through the same issues as me.

I struggle between wanting to get better and contining with my alcoholism and eating disorder so there be some conflicting posts.

I am not pro anything and will not help you lose weight/self harm, etc. That isn’t okay and I would never want to make anyone feel like I do.

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Well shit. I guess I have hot dogs for legs now and yup that is vodka.

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Seriously to all you alcoholics out there, get help. When you have to come to the ER to go to the ICU and the staff remembers you because you have to go there so often is not cool and quite frankly just shameful.

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1 pound left and I couldn’t be happier! Probably gonna lower my UGW though..

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Feelin real dam good.

# do not be like me.

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Can’t believe I’m only 4 pounds away from my UGW!! Never been so happy!

AND now I can only wear xs or a medium juniors clothing!

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Only two more days left and I leave rehab! 28 days alcohol sober! Bulimia got worse but At least I lost 12 lbs since being here.

And yet I still can’t wait to get drunk when I leave. Wtf.

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Surprisingly I’ve lost 7 lbs since I been in rehab. Actually pretty damn happy about it! Maybe I can get to my UGW here since it’s hard to binge in secret.

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Finally going residential inpatient for substance abuse. Hopefully I actually stay.

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Still fuxking drinking. Alcoholism fuxking blows.

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Don’t drink alcohol kids. Not only do I have a damaged esophagus from purging but now I have a damaged liver. How fun!

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I was doing so dam good. And now I relapsed after 8 days. Fck. Atleast it’s not hard liquor, right?

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It’s been 6 days of being alcohol sober and wow. I can finally get a good nights sleep (Atleast for me and not stay up for 3 days) and been waking up early and actually working out again.

I actually feel a lot better being sober. Never thought I’d say that.

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I don’t know what’s worse. Being a bulimic or being an alcoholic.

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Screw my last post, 6 am and already drinking. What’s up bitchessssss.

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7 am and already drinking. God what is wrong with me.

I need friends

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I lose more weight when I’m drinking. …. The hell?