Adopt a Highway (2019)
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@tessacxstello
Adopt a Highway (2019)
riley.
he’d loved her, once upon a time – something he could say about more people than he’d like to admit, feelings caught between his ribs, fluttering until paper wings burned up. he’d stare at her from across a table in the library, envisioning a future together, art galleries and interlocked pinkies. he’d write her letters, long ones, while she sat next to him trying to single handedly salvage his european renaissance grade, then crumple then up when the studying was done. all for the better, probably, when his passion simmered into admiration, head finally back square on his shoulders. it was comfortable now, to sit next to her and people watch, to fawn over others so openly that the old love didn’t find time to cross his mind. that’s just how riley was. tessa knew this by now. a romantic, of the hopeless variety. “maybe i would have been watching mr. kreuger, if he had been staring at me like this,” a finger wags between himself and the aforementioned francesca flatiron, but his interest in her wains as tessa speaks. “that means i’m, like, casper. some loser ghost that follows you around for all eternity. or until you help me with my unfinished earthly business, which, i believe, is landing that girl’s number.” his smile is toothy, a grin that warms his cheeks. ‘i’m so wet, riley, and it’s your fault.’ thick eyebrows skyrocket, words he’d once dreamed about hearing leaving tessa’s mouth, and he has to clutch his gut to keep from doubling over. he has to grab her shoulder to stabilize himself, laughter wracking his chest and he leans in, trying to look sultry. “i always knew i had that kind of effect on you,” he purrs, winking before he throws his head back. he’s reveling in her embarrassment, holding onto it longer than he should. “really bold of you, to announce it to the world like that. and in front of my new wife?” he hikes a thumb towards the other side of the room. “you’re shameless! i’m scandalized. if only the cameras had been rolling, so i could live in this moment forever.”
he looks at the world through a tinted sheen, the way tessa once did, the way she wishes she still did. maybe it’s a maternal instinct in her --- the instinct that gets sparked when she sees baby yoda or photos of cockerspaniels --- but something in riley’s eyes reminds her of youth, of naivety, and even if it’s innocence feigned she wants to nurture it ; to bundle him up in blankets and sing him to sleep. “being followed around by you for all eternity? gross. sounds more like a punishment for me than it would be for you,” tessa notes, her index finger booping against the tip of his nose and lingering in the dip between his nose and his mouth. “i feel like earthly purposes are somehow, i don’t know, more than that? like, scoring the number of a hot chick isn’t a big enough reason to bar you from passing on to the other side, or whatever, if you believe in that...” she doesn’t --- more aligned to buddhist philosophies of reincarnation than any western concept of an afterlife --- though she’ll humour his notions of undead spirits if it means he’ll give her that toothy smile.
"woah, woah, woah. safe word!” she gasps, as he grips hold of her shoulders, a tension rising in her chest. touch is foreign. it comes in waves or not at all, and she’s been starved of it too long to know the way her skin should feel when it’s held. “you can’t just--- say shit like all gravely and liam neeson and... and expect things to be fine! we need a safe word.” she has to tear her eyes away from his pseudo-sultry stare ; he’s eating it up --- the way she seems to squirm away from anything that borders on the suggestive --- though there was once a time she’d relish in the feeling of words twisting into something vulgar in her mouth, knees clenched on a piano stool and a man twice her age guiding her hand. “wow. i’m the one who’s shameless? you just--- you’re the one who started this! you said are you wet, i just answered the--” she falters, words spilling into each other in the heat of her flustered energy. “don’t you dare try to pin this on me,” tessa argues, shaking him off, though she misses the contact almost immediately and slips her thumb beneath his armpit, tickling him there. “no way. you’re not living this forever, i object. get your mind out the gutter, perv.”
♡ red and blue .
riley.
“do you think it’s weird that i’ve been making eye contact with that girl over there for half of the night and she hasn’t approached me yet,” riley mused, fiddling with the tin mint can in his hands as his gaze remained firmly ahead. it was like a staring contest between the forlorn. “i could go up to her, but at this point? i’ve already invented a story in my head. she’s a ghost, or like a spirit or something, and i’m the only one who can see her.” he’s still making eye contact with the girl across the room as he says this, only breaking the iron hold when he realizes he’s spilt his beer all over the couch in an attempt to bring it to his lips. “fuck! fuck. i don’t even know the host of this thing. i’m going to get a perma-ban. are you wet?”
winter had fallen like a house of cards. one minute afternoons were spent studying on the quad, and seconds later the dark seemed to swallow the day up. december sunk it’s teeth into her with a bitter chomp, and tessa found herself reflecting it’s dreary atmosphere. “uh, i think it’s weird that freddy kreuger junior literally just motor-boated a yule log and you’re still entirely... i don’t know, absorbed by francesca flat iron? but go off...” tessa noted, watching with distaste as a sophomore licked chocolate from the butterfaced pudding smasher’s cheek. there was a hint of something that edged on envy in her voice, but the tone didn’t quite reach it. it wasn’t jealousy she felt but rather a general disappointment in the utter obliviousness of men. her ass looked great tonight. she had worn her sequin-studded emerald green flares for that exact reason, and somehow not a single person had commented on them? it felt like a waste of a good outfit on a subpar night, most of which she had spent cross-legged on the sofa with a joint in her hand like some knock-off cosplay for the hookah-smoking caterpillar in alice in wonderland. “uh... i see her? holy moley, does that make me a ghost, too? or-- you’re the ghost, and i can talk to dead people like in that movie sixth sense... woah, i’m not sure i’m ready for that kind of commit--- oh holy hell’s bells!” cut off by the sudden shock of beer against her leg, tessa let out an involuntary gasp and yanked her thigh away from his. “wha--- why am i soaking? was that--- jeez louise. you spilled your beer? christ on a bike, i’m so wet, riley, and it’s your fault.” it’s only after the words had escaped her lips that tessa noticed the double entendre, her cheeks hot and pinched pink as she attempted to backtrack. “i don’t mean--- not that, i mean... physically, like feel how wet i am! wait, fuck. like my leg, not like--- oh god.” she felt sick in her stomach, chest tight as she tried to see the humour, but all she could really see was the sheer horror of humiliation staring back from her reflection in riley’s pupils. “shut up. shut up.”
♡ prettiest angel to ever exist .
charlotte.
“I think i’m going to drop out,” Lottie muttered as she tossed her pen to the side, fingers running through her hair while she leaned back in her seat, “Like really who fucking needs to actually go to college unless you’re going to be like… a fucking doctor, this is stupid, I don’t need to write a fifteen-page essay on why rock & roll changed music, it just did, simple as that.”
Nestled between elderly women and Macbook-wielding business men, it’s a surprise they haven’t drunk the coffee shop dry. Mug rings litter her mindmaps where bright arrays of final semester commission ideas spring out in chaotic spirals. It’s not unlike Charlotte to fall into a lacklustre sense of boredom when it comes to work, and Tessa finds herself once again as her personal cheerleader. “Stop this right now,” is uttered through a mouthful of brownie, promptly swallowed as she takes the other’s hand. “You’re a smart, beautiful Christmas angel, and you’re gonna’ make a fucking wizard journalist.” Tucking a stray lock of Lottie’s hair behind her ear, Tessa takes another swig of her caramel latte, and sets down her highlighters on the table they share. “College is worth it. It might not feel like it now, but you’ve come this far! The finish line’s in sight! Just... take five, clear your head, and come back with a fresh outlook.”
Stefanie Scott photographed by Katya Tsyganova (June 2017)
tessa eats ass
“I’ve never had an encounter of that kind, actually — but I’ll try anything once. In this house, we stan trying out new experiences and making life-long friends.”
hello im (F, 24) an idiot and forgot to post tessa’s (F, 22, fictional) intro!
pls bare in mind most of this was written 5+ years ago n i haven’t written tessa since 2015...... but lets get this show (LOCKWOODRP) on the road (DASHBOARD).
“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”
— Mikko Harvey, from “For M,” Foundry
Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd except via the in-ceiling speakers of a truck-stop diner at 4am. The florescent lights buzz, the cracked vinyl seat creaks, the waitress pops her gum, and the highway traffic is just starting to pick up.
i hate public bathrooms for all the obvious reasons but also because one time somebody in the next stall silently reached under and untied my shoe
She runs. She runs for a long distance, until the world is quiet and the smells are peaceful.
Carrie Vaughn, Kitty and the Midnight Hour (via words-and-coffee)