※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. X ※
here’s sentences from 10 more of jenna’s videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! more jenna sentences
MY DOGS TRY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
“I’m not gonna do that ever again.”
“I’m not gonna lie, I bought some of these pre-cut, because I didn’t feel like cutting them up.”
“I will eat it if you hold it for me.”
“Why would you lick it if you don’t like it?”
“You’re getting an F for everything today.”
“You guys could never chop up a sweet potato yourselves, and you know it.”
“I know, you’re a sensitive guy, and you just want watermelon.”
“If you were in the wild, you would have to eat this to survive, or else you would fucking die.”
“You have to try. You’re not even trying.”
“You wouldn’t last a day unless you found a person to befriend.”
“He would file this under a traumatic experience.”
“If you couldn’t tell, I kinda lost my voice somehow. I don’t know how, I just woke up, and it’s gone.”
“Do I get to marry a prince now?”
“I don’t know why I’m still using Facebook.”
“Even if I don’t have a voice, I can still make dad jokes.”
“Everything is getting so fucking weird, and it doesn’t show any signs of stopping.”
“Don’t worry, it gets weirder, and it just keeps happening.”
“No one warned me for this.”
“This is just me whining about things that, I guess, aren’t even the worst, but they’re the worst.”
“I decided, like, a week ago to do my own thing.”
“Waking up and breathing air makes me break out.”
“My chest was itchy. I had to put itch stuff on it. I never have to use itch stuff. It was a disaster.”
“I feel like you’ve betrayed us.”
“That’s fucked up. That’s so fucking dark, oh my god.”
“Why am I sweating from just sitting here? I’m not doing anything.”
“Why go cry in the bathroom when you can just stand there and openly cry in a crowded space?”
“I’m sorry, I’m listening, I just can’t hear you.”
“I’m always freezing cold.”
“I don’t know where my voice is, my skin’s breaking out all over the place, my body is hoarding food, it’s annoying, and I don’t like it.”
“No one told me to expect this, and I feel like I got lied to.”
“For starters, who wears a full face of makeup into a bathtub?”
“I’d like to have a profession that sounds sexual, but isn’t.”
“Yeah, but what if T-Rexes had really long arms?”
“I think we could solve a lot of this country’s economic problems by just selling the Louisiana Purchase back.”
“Why do we have names for all of our fingers, but only two of our toes?”
“Jesus is the only person that wants other people to get presents on his birthday. What a good guy.”
“Why do we curl our eyelashes, but never our eyebrows?”
“When a fuckboy becomes a fuckman, does he get a fuckmitzvah?”
“Scaring people is fun because they deserve it.”
“Candles are the only thing that smell better when you burn them.”
“Think of a giant chihuahua. That is the most terrifying dog on the planet.”
“A good rule for asking someone if they’re pregnant is don’t. Ever.”
“When I look into your eyes, I’m uncomfortable.”
“Why does Facebook still exist, and how can we stop it?”
“Why is my fucking phone ringing? I feel like I’m at work right now.”
“I don’t know how to do anything.”
“I don’t know, but I think I’m doing pretty good.”
“He needs a hug and a sandwich right now.”
“It has a knife, oh my god!”
“I want my purple fucking dildo, and I want it now.”
“I rate this I still hate it/10.”
“My strategy is just don’t do anything until you have to do something.”
“Why would I play a game where I have to go to work?”
“I like to do everything with you because you have a magical laugh.”
“Well, the years are coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming.”
“Go blow some money for the fuck of it.”
“This is how I imagine pregnancy works.”
“Today we’re gonna try some… poison.”
“People say I look like my mom, so, mom, this one’s for you.”
“I want Drake to murder my vagina.”
“I love my family so much.”
“This is me making my dreams come true.”
“Why do you have scissors?!”
THINGS I’M BAD AT AS AN ADULT
“I’m bad at talking to people on the phone.”
“I just do not want to talk to anyone on the phone that I don’t know.”
“There’s a lot of windows in here, so that means I have to get a lot of curtains. So you know what I did? I bought a bunch of paper curtains.”
“I’m really bad at responding to text messages.”
“This is only half of my fault.”
“If you could please be gentle to me, because I have a lot of shame and guilt.”
“I’m really bad at knowing that something is too hot, and still touching it and putting it in my mouth.”
“I just hope, maybe this time, it won’t burn as bad.”
“I literally never use cursive.”
“I’m terrible at remembering birthdays.”
“That could be a murderer, here to kill me for no reason.”
“I don’t have an attic or a basement, but, if I did, I would sprint in them.”
“You shouldn’t just get rid of things because they’re broken or worn down, no.”
“I got a new hairdryer for the first time in, like, a decade.”
“I’m really bad at cleaning things after I use them.”
“Who did that? I don’t know, not me.”
“Politicians are like the DMV: owned by the government and a mess inside.”
“You might be talented, but not enough to get paid for it.”
“People are like pizza, to cannibals.”
“It’s a job, but I don’t really want to do it.”
“I know it’s wrong, and I should do something about it, but I’m probably not going to right now.”
“I didn’t expect to be depressed, but now I am.”
“Hi, what are you doing here?”
“I watched you grow up, and you’re kinda hot now, and I feel weird about it.”
“Did you laugh even one time?”
“So, I got a new vacuum cleaner.”
“I made one little joke, and it got out of control.”
“I’m having a hard time not inhaling that.”
“We really should’ve done this outside.”
“Please? It’s fuckin’ funny.”
“I’m not gonna be able to do it.”
“Oh my god. Oh my god, why are you doing that?”
“Stand up. Come on, you can do it.”
“I wish that bird would shut the fuck up.”
“You can’t get banned from the DMV.”
“He has to be 6’7”. Exactly.”
“Are you not entertained? Be entertained!”