“I had no choice,” she butt in rather quickly. She didn’t feel like she was worthy or deserving of praise by any means. What she had done was unforgivable, at least to herself. Johanna believed she was a monster, a machine, just what the Capitol wanted to make of its citizens. Even though she fought against it, what she had endured after the second time in the arena, it was clear that Snow had won at this. Especially with what they did to Peeta.
She should be wanting to interview Peeta: the boy who survived all of the Capitol’s plans to destroy him. Sure, he was not who he was before, but showing that he was on the rebel’s side and forced by Snow to speak on his behalf, it could bring those who were lenient to join the cause together. Johanna couldn’t do that. No one would listen to her pent up anger and rage for what had happened.
“Eh, you’ll see soon enough. It’ll be the new trend,” she teased again. The more lighthearted she could be, the less she would expose her vulnerability. The more she joked, the less she was able to let someone in.
❝ well, as one person with a shaved head to another -- i think you look pretty, regardless of your hair. ❞ it wasn’t meant to be an excuse for what the capitol had done to johanna, of course. as someone who’d grown up surrounded by capitol privilege, cressida couldn’t even begin to FATHOM what horrible things johanna & her fellow victors had gone through.
-- that brought her to the thought that perhaps she had been too pushy toward johanna. it was easy for cressida to do so toward others without even realizing. for a moment, she appeared contemplative, taking her lower lip between her teeth and furrowing her brows. then she spoke, looking the younger woman in the eye.
❝ johanna, if you’re really not comfortable with being filmed, you can say so. ❞ her tone had become more gentle, calm. ❝ i’m sure you’ve been through a lot, and i’d hate to cause any unnecessary tension. ❞
