How many gorillion in 1 silmarillion?

24. Life is Pain au Chocolat. Officially into canibalism. Kinda, it's just a longtime dream. 63

[tboy-trash]

we're far too culturally obsessed with men who are mean and rough around the edges but turn out to be big softies underneath it all when, in reality, most men who are like this are simply dicks

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[gatesofminrathous]

there will never be anything as funny as the mutual disbelief between long form and short form fic writers about each other's style.

short form writers look at people writing 100k+ fics as though this is some sort of talent given as part of a fae bargain, that the commitment required shows some sort of ungodly mental fortitude.

meanwhile long form writers look at people writing 1000 word one shots like god I would cut off my left nipple to be able to say anything concisely. i would love to play with multiple ideas. free me from the shackles of this child I have birthed. i love them but I now must take them to t-ball and doctor's appointments and they're going to destroy everything I own.

[ao3commentoftheday]

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[sharrrrknight]

I love the fics where Rocky is described as an asocial outcast who's only got his job (and Adrian) going for him because it puts into perspective that no, not all Eridians are that rude, it's just Rocky being Rocky.

And then it's really funny to think of like Eridian scientists getting mad and embarrassed as hellll that it was ROCKY of all people to make first contact.

In contrast to everyone saying how perfect it is that Grace, a teacher, is the one to make first contact. Meanwhile the people who knew Rocky are doing damage control for how badly he may have fucked up Erid's representation 😭

[babyyodagirl]

the erid version of NASA: I'm sorry, he did WHAT?

Ryland: yeah, it kinda reminded me of my ex, Linda-

The Erid version of NASA: oh my god, oh my god. ROCKY, GET THE FUCK IN HERE!

[likelightinglass]

its on Erid, long after Grace and Rocky figure out how to hug and snuggle. Eridians dont really do full hugs like humans because then you can hear everyone's internal organs that close so its a little weird, maybe tapping/hand holding is the usual affection. Everyone assumes the constant cuddling is purely for Grace's human needs benefit, and while Grace obviously does love and need the touch, Rocky being driven to space madness and having every form of ptsd means he is equal if not more in need of constant full body hugs because he likes feeling how alive Grace is.

So random Eridian scientists are talking to Grace and are like, absolutely no disrespect intended, but very interesting Rocky overcame the cultural weirdness and sensory disgust of "hugs" and does them despite no benefit to himself because he cares for your needs! Its sweet!

Grace: actually Rocky freaks out if he cant press himself against my lungs and heart through the thinnest xenonite possible until he can hear every muscle cell in my body moving at least once a day.

Scientist: ok cool so hes kind of a total pervert then okay

[familyofpaladins]

"You sleep I watch"

pose based on this photo

bonus no xeonite suite:

Edit: i orignally just had this in my orignal tags. But its funny enough i want it on the post:

grace: im gonna sleep on the beach

rocky: i made you a whole ass house with doors and beds and everything. and you want to sleep on the ground

grace: on the beach. :) yeah

rocky: *sigh of fond exasperation* fine you weirdo

grace: besides this whole place is my house really. I can do what i want :3

rocky: yeah sure whatever you say. but when you're sore in the morning don't expect me to feel sorry for you

[bulkhummus]

i know for a fact you have to sign in to enter any school if you do not work there, and especially if you are not a parent, so at some point Eva Stratt had Carl hold up his badge so she could march past a retired cop who acts as a security guard for the school and everyone watches, mouth agape, as the woman walked into Grace's classroom

it was end of day - teachers stay late. kids have afterschool activities. Stratt and Carl are not familiar faces, which would have every adults head on a swivel who worked in a school. people would notice.

and i just know the rumors in the faculty room went fucking HARD the next day when Grace didn't show up to work

[bulkhummus]

thinking more about grace as a teacher

Avoids the faculty room like the plague

His classroom is NOT organized, there is shit everywhere - but he knows exactly where everything is

Goes out for lunch every day to eat his sad little sandwich on a bench in the sun

his prep is a lunch period so kids are ALWAYS in his room while hes trying to like grace and do other shit

Gets to work pretty early to prep for the day but leaves the moment the EOD bell rings which gets looks from other teachers

will speak up at faculty meetings - he never has a problem being an informative bitch at a faculty meeting and everyone loves and hates him for it

will always raise his hand to go on stage when they ask for teacher volunteers at an assembly

his do nows all have to do with relevant and contemporary research that he himself is interested in and keeps tabs on

he always 'forgets' to take attendance so he can have kids who need a break from sitting to bring it down to the office

his coworkers are convinced he's gay because he doesn't talk about his personal life and has no kids and teachers are gossip junkies

he only makes administrators who come in and have no idea how schools actually run use his Dr. title, everyone else can call him Mr.

He gets stuck with teaching health so he treats the human body and all that it does like its alien and the kids go nuts for it

all tests are open book because he firmly believes in utilizing resources

[assiraphales]

I love the headcanons that are like ‘the eridians already figured out how to replicate earth’s atmosphere, temperature, food, light, the ocean for the human. ofc they found a way to extend grace’s life expectancy’ bc talk about my exact brand of cope. but I also think another motivating factor could have been no one wanting to deal w 400 years of rocky in a bad mood

[cloudabserk]

also can i just say project hail mary has the funniest fanfiction ever. its 80% scurvy and weird alien sex

[crownsspades]

grace’s hierarchy of needs:

[gayfertilitygoddess]

Grace: this party is so weird (and sad) 😞

Stratt, thinking: perhaps if I sing him a tender yet melancholic love song in front of all of our coworkers it will help

[enthyrea]

rip tony stark you woulda loved ryland grace

[sroloc--elbisivni]

was walking across the parking lot, almost back to my building, started experiencing a weird stinging sensation against my knee. figured hair got caught in seam or something. yanking at pants did not help. not going to take my goddamn pants off in public? must reach building first. someone comes in with me. shared elevator ride. knee still stinging. still can't strip. this is fine. i will endure. back to floor. into room. smacking leg again while turning key, fruitlessly. stinging continues. stagger inside. pants off immediately.

bee flies out. what.

[sroloc--elbisivni]

bee never left. fell asleep somewhere. it’s the next morning and i hear buzzing.

[avoid-avoidance]

[laundry00]

What if Eridians get darker when they are stressed? And the discolouration stays with them forever. Tattoos are just excess carapace chipped away. Grace's students at the end of the movie are all different shades of the rainbow, with only little spots of darkness. Rocky

Rocky is almost entirely covered in brown. He only has little spots of teal poking out.

46 years of stress on his shell.

[vampirejuno]

Can you imagine being stuck in space completely alone with only the corpses of your friends for company, and the first living thing you meet after 46 years of that misery is a fucking weird alien creature who just rolls up with crazy advanced tech and goes "hi let's work together" and makes it possible for you to save your world through the power of friendship and molecular biology. AND THEN you find out that in this creature's language, its name means "mercy". Happened to my good friend Rocky btw

[druid-for-hire]

And then, after you both suffer near death to save two planets and each other and succeed, you part ways. Then your ship goes derelict and you scramble to save the mission. Nothing works. You’re stranded in space with the key to save your people and you can’t do anything about it and you’re going to die here, all alone, again, because your friend went out to save Earth, and you can’t turn around to warn him. He could be derelict out there too. Both of you are doomed.

And then your alien buddy “Compassionate Love for the Unworthy” rocks up out of the nothingness AGAIN to save you. He figured it out and came back for you. Don’t forget that in the book Rocky is calling him the Eridian word for “grace” the whole time.

[arcadianico]

- ‘Immortality’ by Clare Harner