I’ve fired the SAW and it was fun, but if we’re talking MILSPEC hardware here I gotta say my M60E3 will ALWAYS be my bitch. I treated her right, kept her clean and she never failed me, not ONCE. It’s a love story, really…
I sat with her in a hole in Honduras back in July of ‘89 when the relationship was new and we were still getting to know each other. We talked of many things as we looked out over the gully we were covering, and when the time came to request live rounds from the Platoon Commander because of shady goings-on down by the road we were giddy with excitement.
When we got back to CONUS and it was time to train, I offered my '60 card first at the armory and grudgingly submitted to presenting my M16A2 card as well if I was forced to, but the '16 took a back seat to the developing relationship my '60 and I were cultivating. In retrospect I probably shunned my '16 too much; she was there for me on the range when it was time to qualify and I shot 4th Award Expert with her, which is not bad considering she was a well-used Fleet weapon. I kept her clean too, and I treated her well… but I think she knew she was just a booty-call.
My M60E3 and I traveled overseas together in 1990, and we saw many things. She was ready when it was time to be ready, and she was ready when it wasn’t. Her spare barrel was always clean and lightly lubricated, nestled away in the spare barrel bag. Her asbestos mitt was clean as well and free of dirt, twigs and other foreign matter that would make it stink when it was time to swap out the hot barrel for a fresh one. Her bipod feet were kept clean, her feed tray cover closed tightly over a scrap of cloth to keep dust and dirt out of her “secret area” so she didn’t eat like a puppy when it was time for dinner. 6-8 round bursts, that’s how you keep her happy. Petite bites, stock firmly in the shoulder. This is how we show the bad man the Light.
We tried the “Rambo” thing in the Philippines at Green Beach during Battalion Machine Gun School with a 25-round patrol belt, but with one hand firing the weapon from the hip and the other feeding the belt it was just too wild - she bucked and fought, high and to the right. She likes to be held firmly with both hands, not waved around like a friggin’ light saber. We were wild and young and we tried it, but she didn’t like it so we stuck with our training after that.
We came back in '91 older and wiser, and with a deep respect for each other. We’d been through thick and thin and we knew each other’s limitations. We were an item. We sat up late on firewatch at the ranges during training and walked the wire whispering to each other, laughing and sharing. The M16A2 was usually wrapped in a poncho liner during these episodes, but I know at this point she knew full well what was going on.
All good things must come to an end, however, and at the conclusion of my enlistment in '92 I passed her to the capable hands of Lcpl. Umberger who was seen on Nightline by another platoon buddy of mine carrying my girl in Somalia.
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