The Texts of the Kirkwall Guard

Guards found abusing their texting privileges will be sternly reprimanded and/or punished. (This is an RP Tumblr.)

[textcarver-blog]

MASS SEND:

[textguardcaptain-blog-blog]

textcarver:

JLKMMLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMM99999999000000

>8|

Do you never check your pockets before you sit down, Carver? 

[textisabela-blog]

Mass Send

[textguardcaptain-blog-blog]

textisabela:

Hey guys, so I won another poor sap’s money at Wicked Grace today. He called me a cheat and requested a duel.

He’s dead now but HEY DRINKS ARE ON ME!

I saw drinks are on you.  As Guard Captain, I avow I have any knowledge of the rest of your message.  I will however, brt.

[textisabela-blog]

Pictures

[textguardcaptain-blog-blog]

textisabela:

Hope you gaiz like the “improvements” I carved on your staircases, lol.

The Guard Quarters did not need any "improvements".  Also, you better hope I don't have to explain this to the Seneschal.

[elthinatexts-blog]

Mass Send

[textguardcaptain-blog-blog]

elthinatexts:

It appears we have acquired a few new members to our little group! As Grand Texter Elthina I welcome you all and offer you my number should you need a late night prayer, confession, or whatever else you darling children need. Yes, even cookies.

Thank you for the welcome.  I'll send one of the guardsmen by to acquire cookies.

[textcarver-blog]

To: The Cranky Guard Captain

[textguardcaptain-blog-blog]

textcarver:

textguardcaptain:

textcarver:

a8ehf iaejklfj ae vklwfmllllllllllllllnnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

>8|

The Guard Captain is unamused.

SOD IT ALL. SORRY.

>8|

Apology accepted Carver.

[textcarver-blog]

MASS SEND:

[textguardcaptain-blog-blog]

textcarver:

a8ehf iaejklfj ae vklwfmllllllllllllllnnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

>8|

The Guard Captain is unamused.

[textsofthechampion-blog]

To: All contacts Subject: suk a dikci!!

[textguardcaptain-blog-blog]

textsofthechampion:

WHY IS EVERYONE I KNOW AA FUCIING DKCTEASE!!!????

WOULD YOU FUKC MER OR NO

ID FUCK EME

ID FCUK ME SO HARDDD

Garrett, I will stop sending alcohol to your house if this is the drunken result.  

[textguardcaptain-blog-blog]

To: Everyone

The Kirkwall Guard Captain thanks whomever for the the anonymous cell phone gift.  However, this does not mean she will respond to texts to save your ass in the middle of the night.