For the lonely text-poster @textposts5ever - Tumblr Blog

u know how pschology has tried to classify like the innate human emotions? i propose that the emotion felt in the scenario “found a long head hair caught in my undergarment and tried to pull it out thereby flossing my ass and/or pussy” is distinct and, although further study is needed, probably universal.

winterhalters

3 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

8 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

16 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

meanmediummode

That’s depression babe!

cleothegoldfish

pastelparrotlet

Hozier: “If I was born as a blackthorn tree

I’d wanna be felled by you”

Me, acting like I’ve never heard a poetic device before:

razzledazzy

someone: repeating things that reinforce a negative self view and world outlook such as the oh so popular tumblr niche of nihilistic ‘i want to die and everything is awful’ “jokes” me, in recovery, trying not to get dragged into that with them:

zanimez

me: time for sleepy :)

my garbage body: hot hot hot no cold no HOT bad bad, throw up??? no, hungry, NO remember that mistake you made at work. Internalize it. Never forget. Back hurt yes headache YES hot yes roll over r-RA RA RASPUTIN, RUSSIA’s GREATEST LOVE MACHI-

theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly

oh gods my boyfriend isn’t home and I forget the english word for this thing and it’s bAD he usually helps but i cAN’T

boslynboypunk

I WILL ASSIST?

theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly

you know that little sea bug with the stupid hands and it has a home but it changes homes sometimes because it gets too big for it?? what is it???

mavros-lykos

Hermit crab??

theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly

THAT’S THE BITCH

paper-mario-wiki

if u ever find a genie and you’re really craving a dessert that looks like this:

do NOT say “i’d like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns”

while this is, in fact, the name of the pastry, it’s ALSO the name of a species of wasp for some reason. the genie, being a nasty trickster, will no doubt give you a bunch of wasps.

shitload-of-muses

this is an oddly specific post are you ok

transjemder

Millennial culture is having two wildly different conversations with the same person on two different apps at the exact same time

poorlytimed-deactivated20190607

conversation 1: cheese borger

conversation 2: that’s why I think I’m so afraid of making myself vulnerable, because my father taught me I couldn’t ever truly trust anyone

purplebuddhaquotes

gnslnger-deactivated20160804

fckin-deactivated20171107

I’m thinking about her

eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2

forbidden fruit

isaacmemes

Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much?

kitswulf

Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It’s got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like an avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red-seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this “fruit” has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it.

As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he’s a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul-tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it’s basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that’s what my goddamn mammal-brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win.