Texts from Looney Tune Land @textsfromlooneytuneland - Tumblr Blog

(931): I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.

(313): I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.

(504): Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.

(360): i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man

(206): ?

(360): he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!

(224): You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.

(630): Thats like the definition of a good friend

(856): DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS

(412): with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen

(435): When did we convert life to cartoon?

(210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

(214): don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"

(805): Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.

(607): The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling

(610): How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?

(425): 1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

(805): Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.

(619): Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

(716): I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.

Texts from Looney Tune Land