texts from washington

whip out your blackberries

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington:

(617): shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(734): I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(251): well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(919): Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(262): The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(+81): When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(610): There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(270): him being a republican bothered me way more than his coke problem.

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(614): We just shotgunned beers for America

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(615): Girl, that was the last night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(616): Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(832): Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(650): Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.

Credits to Amy

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(414): we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3 innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(434): Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(609): I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.

[textsfromwashington]

texts from washington

(914): We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.