Textture

Inquisition into texture with text and lurve. What this blog differs from others (if i dare say) is that I attempt to Pay attention. I know all my posts by heart. I try not to reblog. We really are creatures of love more than likes, of memory more than reminders. Capture the moments of memory, celebrate moments of ch/larity, above all be mesmerized by memory lane and its multifarious gains. Afterall, lucidity will not manage precarity. Nor will aphorisms.

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Insta post of using a music machine to show fuse

Mentioning he wanted his connection to be like a car crash

Photos of him in a punkish style

All these really ridiculous stupid way to expect passion: you can’t just tell me I need to feel it

And I never felt the passion (I called it)

Always needing to analyze what or how you feel so many thoughts heart so lost (you called it)

Other than one op song that shook me and desperate inclination to belong and call a place a home. I drove all the way to Brooklyn to face a store with wedding dresses- I mean who the fuck does that? Who says they’re hyper to see me and uses their platform to fuck with me and humiliate me time and time again. My ego isn’t too big my humiliation is something I laugh at.

Gondry drew and made an aesthetic that was interesting and focused on power and all the things wrong which was good about me. He invited a sensitivity that resonated with me deeply his dynamics were relatable he was crass dirty disgusting messy ugly ratchet raw crude and honest

You never offered vulnerability never offered anything but your entitlement behind the screen/www/internet on the stage as though I wanted that. I’m not interested in your toxic play of hiding or bending back and forth for you always

Its boring. It uninspired. I’m just in for the past ways you fucked me over as I played a role in where you are today

I also tell myself with this exceptional occasion and circumstance might as well take advantage to be romantic, let’s try to make romance out of it with oneness

But you never acknowledged my or your love for oneness you never recognized the beauty and uniqueness and awe-inspiring this oneness seeped its way through life you never reciprocated it and that draws me so fundamentally away, you’re a fuck up. All you can say is “god damn” that’s all you can say after witnessing my life?!?! I fucking rocked your world with oneness. You can’t live up to it.

Give me my money and get out of my life you entitled prick. You use me like a machine since we began. Glad and such a relief you’re no longer here

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Cf video.

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https://youtu.be/wpvXfLlcHwc?si=o7cssykr84ilURH0

Copied!

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Tracey Emin mentioned being videotaped painting is like filming pornography. The picture of her naked in a room surrounded with paintings and her bed are autobiographical and controversial kind of like me. They say art imitates life and in my case when I was stripped naked figuratively I stripped naked LITERALLY. Twice at moma and Tate in front of the guerrilla girls. I was figuratively homeless so I became homeless. I was figuratively tagging walls so I tagged the wall of the palais de Tokyo. I figuratively fell from grace so I fell literally. I figuratively died so I had near death experiences literally. Art almost killed me but it also gave me life. Ultimately, life imitates art. Being a woman is violent. Being an overweight woman is even more violent. But at least I don’t get harassed as much. Ans we suffered together. The monster is called W. W robbed from us so I started robbing. W made life and love a commodity so I became a whore. I put pute in computer. I put the CELL in cell phone I did everything and we hurted together this is all part of the story of severe judgments and that is The revolution. The revolution is that I embodied what we call the monster the W all in one with four famine, sword, beasts and pestilence.

So FUCK YOU you cant judge me no longer

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Snow fell the minute I was rejected to berghain

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@tvontheradio thank you for uplifting me and making me feel seen and recognized. There were a lot of ppl but I was there every second of it. I send my love and gratitude. I appreciate you using your platform to give us attention. 🙏

You have uplifted me in ways that this is really real. You brought me a step closer to how in fact I may not be crazy, a step further towards I in fact could really be something more, better beautiful impactful relevant heartwarming and meaningful. Thank you. You remind me that maybe one day I truly will see the light of day, I truly will see that Statue of Liberty, hopefully with pride. Truly, wholeheartedly, extensively, entirely, fully, expansively, done. I wish to go back to your kindness and attention, but it’s not your war or mess to fight. Thanks again for your intentions. Will never forget that.. a bunch of adjectives for many verbs and sentence without a noun.

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omen

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Cat is IN the bag

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“Oops I did it again”