are there people in your life, that have influenced you to be the person you are today? where they good or bad influences? if you could go back to the day you met would you meet them again? or turn and walk the other way? would your life change for the better ?
definitely my parents. i really admire them - always have. they were and are the best influences, all they want to do is help people and they’ve shaped me to be the same. if we’d never met, meaning i wouldn’t exist or would have been given away, and i would never be half the person i am today.
“ not here talking to you. ” he scoffed, rolling his eyes and leaning back in his chair. jen run a hand through his hair boredly, really not wanting to engage in such an uninteresting conversation, but supposing it wasn’t really helping his ‘professionalism’ to be rude. he let out a sigh. “ i’d design clothes. professionally. ” he said with a shrug. “ and you ? ” jen asked through gritted teeth, offering the other a fake smile of interest.
“ that’s not a what. that’s a where. “ cheol countered half jokingly, watching as the other settled into his chair. “ then why are you here ?? if you have your heart settled on something else ?? “ cheol was all about following one’s dreams and not settling for anything less. he followed that rule with everyone. except himself. “ oh, i’m happy here. i’m learning what i want to become what i aspire to be. “ he could tell jen was not interested in his answer in the slightest so he gave the other the shot version.
Taemin’s usual routine after working the grave yard shift at the bar was to skip classes all together. The grave yard shift usually meant him attempting out drink one of the regulars and always ended with him being carried home in some way shape or form. But his Stars and Galaxies exam was today and that was the only reason he was in the student center, his uniform thrown together half hazardly with his shades on near death. A soft groan came from his lips and he found him self whining at the headache that seemed to come and go. “I’m never drinking again.” Though a lie, he believed it for a moment, but he knew that with in a few days, or even that same night he’d be hulled up in some party some where drink or high out of his mind and receiving or giving a potential blowie per the usual.
it wasn’t that cheol had anything against it or other people doing it, or anything against having fun, that wasn’t the case at all, the male simply didn’t see an appeal in the life of partying everyday. maybe it had something to do with the way he’d been raised, or maybe it was simply in his personality, but it was a fact that he was very rarely caught out drinking unless he’d promised to be someone’s company for the night - he could never say no. at the other’s words, cheol let out a laugh, knowing said promise would last but a couple hours. “ i can get rid of the headache for you if you want. non bleeding things aren’t my speciality, but i can give it a try. “ he offered tae with a smile
“ okay, see you next class. ” jen bid farewell to the student he had been talking to. or rather, the student that had been talking to him and he had been pretending to listen to. after the first couple of words, jen tends to lose interest in what others are saying. the moment the student walks away, he frowns to himself. “ i really .. shouldn’t be a teacher. ” he spoke out loud. jen was way too irresponsible and self-centred to care about teaching others. especially fashion design, where he refused to step away from his own design aesthetic. it was because teaching was the only way to get out of the hell he lived in in seoul. did he regret it? a little.
“ if you could be anything in the world, “ cheol spoke up, having walked up after spotting jen talking to someone. he’d waited for the other to leave, only then speaking up to the older, head cocked to the side in curiosity, “ what would you be ? “ he didn’t want to agree or disagree with what jen had said - even if it hadn’t been meant for cheol to hear, he had - mostly because he’d never had him as a professor, so the male wouldn’t know, but also because there were some things he thought better ‘untalked’ about.
hi, hello, nes again, this time with my soft son cheol, all he needs in life is love and affection and protection but also let him protect and love and give loads of affection, i’ll have his story under the cut, give this post a like or come to me for plots!! - under the cut are mentions of abuse so proceed at your own will
- cheol was born in seoul, his dad an EMT and his mother a neurosurgeon
- he was never raised with both his parents, them having split up only months after he was born, but they stayed friends and everything was always quite friendly between them
- since he can remember he wanted to be a doctor and help people like his parents but when he got to his junior year that dream kind of faded out and he didn’t care as much about it
- the drop wasn’t sudden, though, cheol dropped most things he liked at that point in his life, having met the most amazing girl with whom he fell madly in love with after only a couple weeks, and he spent all his awake time thinking about her and wanting to make her happy and be with her
- of course she eventually got tired of his clinginess and dumped the poor guy, leaving him a complete wreck and willing to do anything, which lead to his following relationship
- he met another girl, and desperate for attention once more, he gate his all to her, but it turned out she was more than she’d shown at first and started hitting him
- cheol didn’t do anything about it, his broken heart believing he deserved it and that it was normal, the only reason why it stopped was because she was sent to jail for drug possession and the police eventually found out what was happening
- he was a late bloomer when it came to his powers, his healing having showed first on healing himself and getting rid of bruises and cuts, and his atmokinesis is the reason why he decided to go to jaeneung, it’s not something he can sontrol very well and he’d rather learn how to control it, which he definitely needs help with
- and that’s how his dream of helping people came to be once more - but he still didn’t think himself worthy of being a doctor, enrolling instead as a nursing major
- even after everything he still wears his heart on his sleeve and will most likely get a crush on people the first time he meets them
- personality wise he can snap at someone if pushed that far but all in all he just wants everyone to be happy
- he has quite a dark sense of humor, and makes inappropriate jokes all the time, but he doesn’t mean to offend anyone at all!!
again i can’t really think of any connections other than friends ( HE NEEDS A BESTIE OkAY) but i’ll have a plots page up eventually promise, but we can still brainstorm!!!!
i’m going to have to go on a hiatus for the next month because of exams, blehhhhhh, i didn’t think i’d have to bc i wanted to have my studying sorted out - of course, i do not - and i really need to study bc i don’t want to leave any subjects behind, so yeah :/
mj was thankful that cheol didn’t pry about his past. he hated talking about it. he hated thinking about it. he hated other people knowing about it and making him more vulnerable to them. his parents were people he liked to pretend didn’t exist, even if they were off somewhere living happily with other children; or still poisoning themselves with alcohol, which seemed more likely. as far as he was concerned, he wasn’t theirs. he wasn’t anybody’s. mj belonged to himself, nobody else was allowed to own a part of him. well, it was supposed to be like that, until the people he cares about now came and took parts of his heart. but he was in denial about that, too. cheol owned part of mj’s head, if not a tiny piece of his heart. as the word left cheol’s mouth, mj’s eyes flickered down to his lips. the atmosphere was enticing. he could feel it pulling him forwards gently, until his lips met cheol’s and his eyes fluttered closed.
cheol had not expected mj to kiss him to stop his panic attack. it’d been effective, of course, but mj was always so distant from him, always avoiding him - unless the other was drunk, of course - and being cold, but vulnerable, or more vulnerable than normal, cheol had brought about a whole new side of mj that cheol had barely ever seen, and he wasn’t complaining even though he should be. but the male had really not been expecting mj to kiss him like that then. he knew there was no other outcome other than cheol himself getting hurt from all that, but mj was a good, if not the best, distraction from hanging several feet in the air in the pitch black night. plus, in his head, getting hurt was worth it if he got to kiss mj like that again. his hands traveled up to the sides of mj’s face, only his fingers pressing softly against his skin in the whisper of a touch, enough solely to feel if mj was pulling back. but cheol ended up doing so, but only enough so he could speak, afraid that if he moved too much, mj would end it, “ let’s make a pact “ he breathed out, eyes still pressed shut.
mj let out a sigh. it was getting harder and harder to think of ways to counter what cheol was saying to him. he had started to get a little frustrated with the boy speaking like he knew everything about him, which was something that always pissed mj off. “ i’ve been abandoned, and i’ve been hurt by it, yes. but i don’t give people the opportunity to do that to me again. ” that part was true. mj stayed distant from people, because he knew if he got too attached then he would get hurt when they inevitably abandoned him. that was why he didn’t get hurt, because he didn’t give himself a chance to. he was too scared. “ but, yeah. i guess i am scared of that. that’s why i don’t let it happen. ” he explained. mj’s eyes followed the direction of cheol’s as he interpreted what he said and held him closer; their faces becoming closer, too. “ why ? ” he whispered, although mj was pretty sure he already knew the answer. for a moment, he stared at cheol, taking in his features and feeling what little air there was between them become warm. “ cheol … are you in love with me ? ”
mj’s sudden confession took cheol by surprise. did his words mean what cheol thought they did ?? was mj really telling him about his past for once ?? he wanted to ask about it, to know more, to get to know mj since what he did know was close to nothing. he by no means thought of himself as an expert on mj, he didn’t think anyone could be, but he did know a lot about hurt. he swallowed down his questions, not wanting to invade mj’s privacy or force him to talk about something he didn’t want to. it wasn’t about pushing him away anymore, it was about hurting, and that wasn’t something cheol wanted mj to feel. he nodded slowly, “ good. don’t let it happen. i don’t want you to get hurt. “ even if it meant pushing cheol away. he’d rather that than know mj was hurt. mj’s following words - or questions rather - were some cheol had never thought he’d hear from the other, but for which the answer was simple and truthful, given as he looked into mj’s eyes for sincerity. “ yes. “
cheol decided to ignore mj's reassurance and keep his thoughts to himself, at least
for the time being. " so what you're saying is, " he swallowed, hesitation taking over him for a couple seconds, the thoughts he'd kept to himself finally somewhat making their way out, " that you're scared. " he ended up saying, eyes meeting with mj's, " you're scared of people leaving because it hurts you. you do get hurt. you do recognize the feeling. " what cheol had always assumed was somewhat being confirmed by mj's half confession and it broke his heart. the male took a deep breath in, and let mj hold him closer again, eyes fluttering close for a second before his gaze fell on the floor " i can't let myself believe you. " he admitted quietly
mj furrowed his eyebrows. he had noticed for a while that cheol was holding back. he didn’t want to push, but it had started to frustrate him. “ if that were true, what ? ” he asked, raising an eyebrow. mj chuckled, surprised at how well cheol had clocked him. “ how else am i going to get people to stay away ? ” he asked with a laugh. mj’s gaze met cheol’s, and for a moment, he just looked at him. he took in the other’s eyes for a few slow seconds, a small smile on his lips, before shrugging. “ believe me or not, i don’t care. i’m not going to waste time trying to convince you. ”
cheol let out a dry chuckle, head shaking slightly, “ you don’t want to know what, mj, “ cheol assured him, knowing pointing out some of the reasons why he might be doing so would likely turn into a fight or mj pushing him away again. “ why do you want people to stay away ?? “ the question hadn’t been innocent, and cheol was threading dangerously close to the topic he’d been trying to avoid, but when the opportunity presented itself like that, it was hard to turn it away. for how much cheol had liked the moment before, mj’s words ruined it and he was unable to hide the flinch that took over him, his body leaning the opposite direction of mj’s this time, hurt clearly written all over his face. “ i’m sorry i’m such a waste of time. “
hyunmin waited patiently for the other’s reaction, nodding his head slowly as the male read out the words hoping he’d understand right away. a broad smile occupying his features as his eyes crinkled up an excited laugh escaping his lips. “yes! i’m going to be a dad! there’s a little kang on the way, cheol!” he confirmed the news, still holding the cellphone up not wanting to miss a single second of his reaction wanting to keep it forever.
“ oh my god. “ cheol just stood there for a second, feeling like his jaw was on the floor. he had no way of expressing his emotions, there were no words or enough body movements to make his point across. he could feel the hairs on his arms and neck rising at the news, his wide eyes fixed on his friend. “ oh my god “ he repeated, letting his hands drop to his side, “ that’s great news, hyunmin !! congratulations !! “ he could feel his eyesight getting worse and foggy as he made his way over to the older male, throwing his arms around him in a tight hug, “ that’s amazing, congratulations !! “ he spoke into the hug
“ i think hurt is one of those things i neglected for so long that i don’t recognise anymore. ” mj couldn’t recall the last time he had felt hurt. ever since he was young, he had suppressed the feeling every time it crept up on him. eventually, he stopped feeling it all together. “ i won’t get hurt. it’s hurting other people that i struggle with. ” he admitted. mj hesitated for a moment, before his eyes flickered over cheol’s face and his mouth acted before his brain. “ i care about you. ”
“ if that were true,... “ cheol let, once again, the words die before they’d had a chance to live, swallowing them down as much as he could. it was not his wish to push mj away, or to try and get him to cross a line he wasn’t comfortable crossing with cheol. of course he’d like to, he’d love to know more about mj, and understand him better, but on the other’s own time. “ you don’t struggle with hurting anyone. you only hurt people because you want to. i know you know how not to. “ the last few words took cheol by surprise, he hadn’t been expecting anything of the sort to come out of mj’s mouth, and now that it had, the male couldn’t believe the words. “ you said you wouldn’t hurt me. lying to my face hurts. “ he half whispered, not able to take his eyes off mj.
“ what he did to me “ doesn’t change the way i feel about him. it could never because i don’t have a reason to love him. i don’t see in him the bad person he wants everyone to. it’s not like i think he’s a good person, i know who he is, don’t get me wrong, but he puts up this... wall... and it doesn’t only keep people out, it protects him. i get why he has it, i just hope it won’t fall, ever.
