P0stalDud3

Not a rp blog. I am a person. Tw for basically everything. Bodily minor.

[th3p0staldud3]

just a blog for when p1 dude is fronting.

This is NOT a roleplay blog, as I am a real person.

Feel free to send me asks.

(p1 not Cooper)

27 (bodily minor)

Transmasc, aroace, and objectum, specifically towards weapons.

Audhd, depression, system, and has some other mental illnesses I am struggling to figure out.

BIG BIG BIG WARNINGS FOR THIS BLOG

Will be lots of venting, most likely talks about sh, sui, hallucinations, weapons, probably pictures as well.

Warning that I am NOT A MENTALLY STABLE PERSON. this is not meant to be taken as a joke. I will be posting BAD things here, and if you cant handle that, please dont continue for your own sake.

basic dni plus Ill block when I want.

[peirres-play-place]

peak art or whatever I love you bro

Obviously suicide warning

[th3p0staldud3]

I literally have Christmas lights wrapped around my neck i can't breathe stop letting me be by myself I can't trust myself

[th3p0staldud3]

rant under the cut

i feel like my life is fucking ruined. One of my best friends. Like. He is like a brother to me. And he's graduating this year. But not only that. Hes going into the military and genuinely like. I dont think I've ever wanted to kill myself so much. People keep telling me that it's fine and it's not that serious. But I cant even think of the end of the year without crying and feeling so fucking sick. I don't know what I'm going to do I want to end my life. Like. I've genuinely been considering fucking killing myself at the end of the year. I don't know what I'm going to do I'm scared

[peirres-play-place]

Postal

[th3p0staldud3]

vent

i dont even understand what Im doing wrong. Everyone keeps telling me that theyre proud of me. They keep telling me that I'm doing doing great. But I just cant stop feeling like a fucking disappointment. I feel like I've let everyone down. It doesn't make any sense. I just want it to stop. I just feel so guilty every time someone does something kind to me. I just feel like I dont deserve all these great people in my life. I don't feel deserving of their love

[th3p0staldud3]

He doesnt deserve to have to be stuck with me. He deserves better

[th3p0staldud3]

AUUUGH sorry for being weird agaiennenwn

[th3p0staldud3]

Bro I dont know what's foigugngnonnnn I just started tweakingfnnfnrn

Ive never been called cute before riejaus I think I'm a fucking freak I'm gonna die and explode and die and die annenenennenwnqn I kinda maybe kinda maybe like being called called that maybe but dhehehhssshhhh shhhh SHH BEE QUIET T WNNWNWNWNWMWN NHRHSHSNJSIMGONNADIIEEEEIEJJWJSNANAN

[th3p0staldud3]

bro i think there is something wrong with me cause just everytime he doesn't respond it's because I'm stupid and cringe and stupid and stupid and weird and I am a freak bro why can't I just be fucking normal about anything oh my fucking God this is literally why people don't talk to me because I make people uncomfortable because I'm fucking weird

[th3p0staldud3]

you make me feel whole

[th3p0staldud3]

i cant fucking handle being away from you

[th3p0staldud3]

you make me feel whole

[th3p0staldud3]

i am so fucking numb I don't even feel myself typing. I just am thinking and it's just here. I am floating outside my fucking body. I'm so fucking miserable

[th3p0staldud3]

okay bro I just came back to life or smth. I miss being here for a week🥹 whoever the fuck is coming out needs to stay put. Youre making everything more confusing. We never know who is fronting. Literally just leave it to me and Cooper. Stop fucking making things difficult. There are like what, 8 of us in here? I'm going to make it clear once again. If you are going to fucking front, make it OBVIOUS. It's so horrible to be here and then everything just becomes blurry and blends together and I don't feel anything. I know this is maybe aggressive, but Jesus fucking Christ you can come out at night time, or when me or Cooper are freaking out and unable to take care of ourself.

(This is for when others front)

[th3p0staldud3]

bro i took benadryl yesterday so like I was insane and I fell asleep during lunch and I woke up to bright lights and screaming like hooly shiet why I thought I was at my house but no

[th3p0staldud3]

giggles

I love bro

[th3p0staldud3]

is there anybody out there?