HI! I'm KJ and welcome to my Princess Diary! I, like many of you am on a self love and glow up journey. My blog is dedicated to my progress as well as the real steps I'm taking and through that I hope to assist anyone on a similar journey so follow to join a loving kind community of like minded princesses (and princes)!
Welll March has already started so how about we get right into it? My theme for March is *drumroll pleaseeeee*
Self Concept!
Just like February I plan on rampagaing, usuing a subliminal, and shifting my thoughts. A refresher on those!
Rampaging
You know how you get mad and just rant about something? Rampaging is that put in alignment with your manifestation. So instead of going on a rant about how mad you are that you had to be late go on a rant about how perfect you are and how much you deserve everything. The goal is to continuously think or say the things you want to manifest. There’s rampages on YouTube if you need help getting started as it’s hard to explain through text!
Subliminals
Probably the simplest of all the methods. Subliminals are audio tapes that bypass your subconscious mind. What does this mean? When you listening to the subliminal you’ll hear nothing but the audio which could be a song or maybe rain sounds. But there’s a quieter track with affirmations, our subconscious mind picks up everything that means even what we can’t see hear or feel so the affirmations go past the consciousness mind which may disagree straight to the subconscious mind which accepts them. Think of it as sneaking past the strict parent to ask the one who always says yes, that’s what the subliminal does.
Persisting
So persisting isn’t really a method I’d say it’s a requirement. But this is simply changing your thoughts. So if I end up thinking “Ugh I can’t do anything right” I instantly say “I’m so proud of myself I try my best even when it’s hard.” If you read my Step One post about self concept I explain this idea a bit more.
I've found that I do a very good job at balancing discipline and compassion for myself. I stick to my routines when I don't want to and chose when it's best that I just... don't. Being able to balance the two is so important for maintaining productivity and here's how I've managed to do that.
I think of myself as two people. Present Me and Future Me, everything I do is to maintain the relationship between the two. For example when Present Me gets out of bed on time Future Me has an easier day since she has everything for school. That also means that when Present Me is too exhausted to put her clothes in the hamper Future Me will take care of it.
My discipline comes from knowing I want the best for my future self and my compassion comes from knowing that I'll always look out for me when I make a mistake. It's a little trippy to think of yourself as two people but doing so has really changed and improved how I operate on a daily basis.
Reading books makes the story so much more personal like I rarely cry at movies (okay maybe not rarely) but it’s a once in awhile kind of thing. As of now I’ve only read 3 fiction books where I didn’t cry at the end for this year and last. There’s something about holding the story in your hands and having to interpret every single letter, comma, and period on the page. Having to physically move yourself along in the story books have my entire heart.
And I realized I really did want that for myself. First. I tried apps, the ones that claim they’ll replace your doom scrolling with bite sized learning. But they felt like too much of a commitment and made me feel guilty when I went to TikTok after a few minutes. So I changed tactics and used TikTok to help me learn, and no I didn't start scrolling through the STEM page.
Arguing. Yea… arguing in comments is what has led to my wealth of knowledge. Well not entirely but still. I realized I’d sit there arguing with three people at a time looking up stuff to support a point that had no real information behind it. So I decided that when I see a comment I want to argue I’ll look for an article on it. I commit to at least one article that’s it. If I still don’t understand and don’t want to oh well moving on but if I want to learn more bingo! I’ve looked into topics like politics, biology, astrology and more with this method!! When I have a question I google it and look for an article.
Sometimes I’ll find a cool article and save it for later just for fun now! I don’t make myself read 3 articles on something I don’t care about and I let myself indulge in the things I do enjoy. Like astrology, I wanted to learn the myths behind each sign so I did. It just so happened that as I was reading they talked a lot about what kind of starts are in each constellation, and I didn’t really understand that portion. So, now I want to understand the different kinds of starts and am looking into astronomy more! Being a lifelong learner means seeking to understand what you see, not forcing yourself to choke down knowledge. To commit yourself to a life of learning you have to learn to love it.
I’m starting my glow up and self improvement journey, a journey, I hope will be lifelong. I want to take this step by step and document it here! I know myself and I do best with actionable steps and a kind of “head to toe” process. For example deciding the first step of my glow up would be hair then skin then brows etc. However in the grand scheme of this journey it means figuring out what step one is. If you’d like to join me in this journey our step one or first level is self concept. A small pretty easy step but such an important building block!
If you don’t know what self concept is let me explain. Self concept is the unfiltered beliefs you hold about yourself. I’ll use a personal example. I liked this guy but I doubted he'd like be back because I thought he only liked white girls (fun i know). So in order to demonstrate what self concept is we're going to find the belief that caused this thought.
We start with the initial thought that black women aren’t his type. Then we decide if this is negative or positive, here it's negative. Then we asses weather this is attached to our identity, again this would be a yes. So ultimately the belief is that being a black girl is undesirable or negative.
At the end we see that the initial thought ends up reveling a belief that a certain part of my identity was inherently negative. With positive self concept this would we looked like.
He doesn't like black girls, this is negative, BUT because I have a high perception of myself I don't allow anyone's views or taste impact how I view my own identity.
The key difference is at the end I don’t make any part of me the problem. Good self concept means changing not just your conscious thoughts but your unconscious ones too. Think of it as changing your brains first reaction.
So how do you know when that’s happened? Well my favorite way of doing that is through meditation. When you get yourself into the state of observing your thoughts not creating them you get to see where your mind goes first. So once I’m in a meditative state I like to prompt myself, either out loud or in my head, by thinking of a certain situation that aligns with the belief I want to change.
Okay so what can you do to fix your self concept?
Step One♡
First figure out what your self concept is we’re going bare bones. I don’t want you to come up with your ideal self concept yet we’re just going to repair what you have. So think of situations where you doubted yourself and try to trace the thought back to what it says about how you see yourself. Typically what you’re trying to do is find an I AM statement.
Step Two♡
Let’s take a beat to look on the bright side okay? Now I want you to do the same process but with positive things. Think of times where you reached your own expectations or knew you’d do well. This can be academic, athletic, social, or anything else no limits! Again try to trace this to an I AM statement like I am a kind person or I am a hard worker.
Step Three ♡
Now we’re going to create you ideal self concept. Taking your negative beliefs and flipping them to positive ones. If you found you believe yourself to be lazy flip that to being productive etc.
Step Four♡
The hardest but most important step is actively correcting your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking with your negative self concept actively flip it. I like to do a mental rampage! Essentially go on about how you’re so smart or brave whatever the case may be. If you need further clarification look up a self concept rampage video on YouTube to understand better. As you actively correct these thoughts they appear less and less.
Tips♡
rampaging your thoughts will start out difficult but will get increasingly easier
actively listening to affirmation tapes, meaning you pay attention not just set it on, can help immensily
mirror work, saying positive affirmations in the mirror either naked or clothed also makes a huge difference in self concept.
A genuine change must first come from within the individual, only then can he or she attempt to make a significant contribution to humanity. - The 14th Dalai Lama
We often try to change out appearance first when we look to level up or glow up. But this is the most ineffective technique and has the most resistance. This is because you only think you know what you want. Let me explain.
You think that you desire the result, and sometimes, that may be the case. But very often what we actually want is the mental shift. Do you really want to be skinny or do you want to be confident in your body. Do you want to be rich? Or do you want to feel comfortable and successful? And are those things mutually exclusive?
(hint: the answer is no)
I'm going to continue by using weight loss as the example. It’s easier to try and lose weight then to unlearn years of hearing that a certain body type is better. But it’s so much better for you in the long run to unlearn those biases. So yes, you can change your appearance, or friend group or even make more money, but, unless you can change your beliefs and mindset your going to be constantly worried about losing your physical proof of progress.
Remember that hotties don't have to try and be hot they just have to believe that they are.
10 minute rampage every day, by the end of the month that's 4hours of thinking from the state I want to be in
Listening to the same subliminal every night.
Persisting
I didn't want to overwhelm myself this month so I chose things that I find work best for me with manifestation. Rampaging I find is such an easy way to see how much your embodying the state of what your trying to manifest. When you start rampaging on whatever topic it's hard to have a flow of consciousness which makes sense when you think about it. You're unfamiliar with this state, how can you achieve flow in it when you actively have to try and think from that identity? But as you keep going you can reach flow and that's when you know you're embodying.
I used to listen to subliminals all day but it got so boring and I didn't enjoy it. I chose two subliminals one for zero resistance to affirmations and another for overwhelming beauty since that's what I've been manifesting. I put them on a playlist and just play it all night (I'll link them below).
Finally persisting, this just means being consistent. Everyday means everyday! If I miss one day I makeup for it the next, don't be too hard on yourself if you genuinely cant do it that day, but that also means not choosing to not do it directly or indirectly.
Ok now the good part the week by week recap!
Week One♡
The first week I definitely felt the confidence when I was alone but going out I wasn't feeling much. Overall I didn't see a huge physical change other than my skin it was absolutely GLOWING.
The second week I was feeling the confidence like I looked in the mirror and caught myself staring. I also noticed I was getting attention from people I found attractive. Also at this point the rampages were getting wayyyy easier!
The third and fourth week mesh together. These two weeks I was seeing people treat me different I was getting more physical attention, looking better in photos, and feeling more confident in my appearance. I can’t pinpoint the exact changes but when I look at my face it looks sm prettier.
Tips♡
use Musi for your playlists, it lets you play YouTube videos in the background, keep the volume pretty low or your phone WILL overheat I learned that the hard way.
At the end I stopped rampaging so if your gonna chose that please stick!!! My results would’ve been stronger had I been consistent with that part.