that cluster b moment when...

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hi!

my name is airin, i go by she/they.

this is an account for cluster b moment confessions :)

DNI:

- believe in "*insert mental disorder* abuse"

- believe any mental disorder makes you inherently abusive

- cancel culture supporters. no, person #492630 is not a racist sexist transphobic homophobic antisemitic antiblack antiasian veganphobic islamophobic ableist misogynist pedophile for a joke they made 10 years ago that they changed and apologised for. you don't have to forgive them, and you have every right to feel hurt, but please stop bringing up something that you know someone has changed from.

- if you think it's okay to slander/libel defame someone out of jealousy or for attention.

- cringe culture supporters. everything has its goods and ideas that can be enjoyed. you're no better than the "cringe" people you mock.

- endogenic systems, endogenic system supporters, "tulpamancers", use the term "traumascum", or think systems can be anything but traumagenic

- proshippers

- abdl/ddlg/ddlb/mdlb/mdlg/kink blogs. agere excluded!

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that NPD moment is being told you cannot have NPD because you're self-aware, or because you're not abusive

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that cluster b moment when you get the urge to cut off everyone and everything around you and start a completely new life and persona because nothing ever feels just stable and right

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i think we need to talk more about the fact that personality disorders are often gendered within the psychiatric field and sometimes people will be straight up told they're unable to have a certain disorder because of their gender.

like i have seen men with BPD or HPD being told they're actually NPD or ASPD and that they can't be the former because those are "female disorders".

likewise, plenty of women with ASPD or NPD being told they're actually BPD or HPD because the former are "male disorders" and that they're too emotional to be them.

i feel like this is tied to the sexist belief that women are hysterical and irrational too...

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that cluster b moment when hanging out with someone you've known for years but they do something that slightly annoys you and that one goddamn part of your brain says "reject them i do not know nor like them anymore" and you know it's irrational but that part bangs on the rest of your brain and drives you absolutely nuts

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that cluster b moment when you realise you're not just being "edgy" as you thought when you were younger

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that cluster b moment when you open up to someone about your cluster b disorder and they reply with "oh that! i've heard of that! a very disgusting abusive evil person i know has that!"

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that cluster b moment when you get told you're being "rude" when you tell the truth but "manipulative" if you soften the truth :/

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that cluster b moment when you don't feel like being direct about your needs but get irritated when people can't read your mind and help you

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that cluster b moment when you're traumatised from being attached so hard to someone and then seeing non-cluster-bs romanticise the favourite person thing and acting as if it's "aww they're so attached to me uwu"

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that BPD moment when you open up about your BPD to someone and how abandonment is a trigger for you and then they abandon you :D

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that cluster b moment when you mask so well that when you unmask, people think you're possessed or something

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that cluster b moment when you want to seek help but everyone sees you as manipulative and attention seeking and abusive so you keep it all quiet and slowly die on the inside

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that cluster b moment when you have a huge kinlist because figuring out what you actually have is so complex and tiring that it's so much easier to recognise that a character is so much like you and using them to explain yourself

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that cluster b moment when you collect lots of little materialistic and silly labels and terms and stick them onto yourself because you have no sense of personality whatsoever

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that cluster b moment when your friends are happy while you're feeling really upset so you get incredibly mad at them

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that cluster b moment when your friends are too busy to help you and you get annoyed but when they do finally have the time to give you help, you're like "well now i don't want it anymore" and get even more annoyed