That Lonely Astronaut

Beginner artist. My talents DO NOT INCLUDE: photography and gymnastics. Have a nice day!

[futuresabove]

“how to read more” “how to read faster” “how to read daily” STOP STOP stop STOP this is not a competition. read slowly, read when you’re in the right state of mind, really savour it, read for pleasure, read for yourself. don’t read for performance, stats or to compare yourself to others

[quotemadness]

Never miss an opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you.

Unknown (via quotemadness)

[that-lonely-astronaut]

I try my best not to sound cheesy but I don’t want you to die before I do. 

You mean too much to me, I’d rather leave first than try to live without you.

[that-lonely-astronaut]

Don’t keep looking for someone else to have all the answers to what’s going to work for you. You know what motivates you. You know what repels you.

EsoTarot from YouTube

[that-lonely-astronaut]

A Digital poking stick

TW: Mental Health, Anxiety

Let’s talk about Targeted Ads. If my sister uses my phone and searches up ‘Crochet yarn and kits’ on my Amazon App, I get advertisements about the same in my Instagram and YouTube Advertisements.

:)

Sus? Haha.

I realized that I do feel lighter and better whenever I try a Social Media Detox. But if I was completely honest, I feel better when I’m not responding to texts and small talk at the moment. I feel exhausted.

Before I considered taking a break from my phone I thought to myself, “oh no, I can’t leave now, people need me. They might need help or advice I can’t disappear.” Yeah… I know how weird and cocky it sounds now. And then I told myself; I can’t pour from an empty cup.

Right now, I need more healing than ever. I need to nurture myself, heal, understand myself, allow myself to take up some space and breathe. I didn’t realize I was struggling with this until I took a break. And oh boy, it sure does take a weight off my shoulders.

Yesterday, I opened my Instagram app. To my surprise I find 5-6 consecutive advertisements on Therapy. I laughed. It’s funny and creepy. I don’t know if there were more ‘therapy advertisements’, I stopped scrolling eventually and put my phone away again.

That’s when I asked myself that horrid question again. “What could possibly be wrong with me?”

Do I have depression? When that psychiatrist I met last month said I had Anxiety Disorder, should I still believe that?

Hence the term “Poking Stick”. Those Ads sent me into a spiral of questions I began to ask myself again. (I know for sure that if I end up in an Asylum I’d never be able to get out. Haha.)

This time, I’m embracing my vulnerability.

I don’t feel so comfortable admitting this but I don’t think I can talk to anyone around me about what I’m going through yet. I just can’t sit right with that idea. I did however try to talk to my family about my intrusive and scary thoughts I’m finding impossible to get rid of. I feel tired, I don’t recognize myself and I’m getting very emotional pretty randomly. Although that does sound pretty normal during a period of growth and rediscovery, it feels a lot like what I went through before my mental health got pretty intense back in 2019.

[that-lonely-astronaut]

My motto used to be “Trust No One”. Now, it’s “Don’t rely on others”.

Took me a while to learn the difference, but I’m glad I did.

[that-lonely-astronaut]

I made you a promise

Dearest detached, I kept my promise.

Today I spoke to someone, a stranger, on purpose. He was a maintenance mechanic who was fixing something at home. The “old me” wouldn’t have interacted with him at all, but guess what? 

I never forgot about the promise. I made a friend, learnt how he got into this business and found out he used to sell his embroidery works. 

I watched him fix the new TV dish on the terrace while he explained the procedure. 

We both know I made this promise to you as attempt to agree to disagree; to cut short an argument. 

I have to admit. The fact that I’ve lost such a dear friend makes me regret not putting in this effort earlier. Knowing that I’d never get to hear from you again.

I made you a promise years ago, but it is your recent and unexpected departure that pushed me towards fulfilling it.

I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry you had to go. Rest in peace <3

[that-lonely-astronaut]

Pictures of earthship homes make me feel safe and grounded. Just imagine being in those though. <3

[dark-romantics]

Exchanging hand written love letters is a love language

[that-lonely-astronaut]

Oh, the urge to write love letters though I don’t have an s/o

[that-lonely-astronaut]

It’s easier to change the world It’s harder to change society

[that-lonely-astronaut]

I think my sister’s mad at me. She opened my room door wide open and left.

[that-lonely-astronaut]

New podcast episode out now

:^

Faking Accents and Observing Pet Peeves

Listen to this episode from That Lonely Astronaut on Spotify. Here's an embarrassing incident Pepper faced when she faked her accent in publ

[that-lonely-astronaut]

thanks, but no thanks

What does it mean when someone says “I have a crush on your voice”

Honestly, I’m confused and low key terrified.

[death-and-flowers]

Persephone turned Minthe into a mint plant out of rage so... Dyu think that makes her hate mint?

Just wondering

That’s fun to think about. Thanks for the question!

Getting historical, mint was used in ancient Greek funerary rites as one of many offerings to the dead, which implies at the very least Persephone allowed mint into Hades and didn’t hate those who brought it. I want to imagine that Persephone was actually quite fond of the smell of mint. She was a nature goddess after all--I can’t picture her hating any plant. There must have been a reason she chose it of all plants to turn Minthe into. What if she chose mint because she liked the smell, but Hades was didn’t? That would certainly be a cruel, karmic punishment for insulting the Queen of the Dead. The man you love no longer loves you and his wife uses you to freshen up her chambers.

[that-lonely-astronaut]

I don't feel butterflies, I feel fireworks.

I don't feel like crying, so I'll sit and write a song about her

[that-lonely-astronaut]

I said "Make yourself at home."

I'm starting to think they're following it way too often and quite literally.

Please. Stop. Please. Leave.

[that-lonely-astronaut]

Call me crazy cus I sometimes get competitive.

You make me happy? Imma try to make you happier

You trynna mess with me?

Honey... you've got a big storm comin'