Scribblings

I am Kirsty, hear me scribble.

[that-scribbler]

Evolution Part 2

In my last post I said that the fastest gazelle survives. 

But why would you be a gazelle when you can be a lion? A gazelle may survive, but a lion thrives. 

What do you know about lions? They’re aggressive, powerful and strong, and sometimes you’ll need to be all three to get anywhere in this world. But lions are also gentle, loving and kind.

Being a lion means knowing when to go for the jugular, and when to sheathe your claws. 

[that-scribbler]

Evolution

The fastest gazelle survives.

If you want to succeed in this world, you need to be faster, more agile and more adaptable than your competition. You may have a plan, but if the plan isn’t working, change it. 

Turn natural selection into your best friend. 

Be the fastest gazelle. 

[that-scribbler]

A curse called talent

Thank your lucky stars if you’re not talented. 

Talented people have it easy. Their skills come naturally to them and they never have to work for their abilities. How unlucky they are.

Because that’s where you, the untalented, have the advantage. You, who must scrape and claw and fight for every scrap of improvement you can muster. You who work and work and work only to be outclassed by the talented ones again and again. And yet you persist. 

You are lucky. You are strong.

Their platform is high up above, but it’s stationary. They never learned to learn. They’ve never had to try. And so, when they are faced with a struggle. overcoming it does not come naturally to them. 

But you. Your platform may be low, but it’s moving ever upwards. Slowly slowly. Inch by inch you draw closer to their lofty perch, until the day you surpass it. And then you just keep on going. 

Natural talent is a curse wearing a blessing’s clothes.

[that-scribbler]

There’s no point ...

In being anxious.

You sit at home agonising over everything you did. Everything you said. Every mistake you made. 

‘Stupid. Stupid. Stupid’ You think to yourself. ‘They’re probably all laughing at you now’.

If only you knew the selfishness of man. 

They don’t have time to think about you because they’re too busy thinking about their own mistakes. Their own little embarrassments. 

Come to realise how self-centred the human race is, it can be a sad comfort to an anxious mind. 

[that-scribbler]

There is breath in my lungs.

Laughter on my lips 

Light in my eyes.

And thoughts in my mind.

I could ask for no greater blessing than this. 

[that-scribbler]

You know...

Many many years ago I worked in hospitality. 

I remember a man was shouting at me. Apparently I’d put the wrong kind of sugar in his drink. A true crime against nature.

And as the veins in his forehead popped, and the spittle flew from his lips, all I could imagine was his grinning skull chattering away beneath his flesh. I couldn’t help it and I laughed. 

Of course this didn’t help the situation, he was furious, but ever since, it’s been a morbid source of comfort for me that even at the worst of times, we’re all grinning on the inside. 

[that-scribbler]

‘I don’t understand how people end up on the streets’ 

I blinked in confusion. I know she didn’t mean to sound naive, but I truly couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

‘Well, sure, you could lose all your money. But if I lost all my money, mum and dad, or a friend, or other family members would be able to help me. I don’t understand how people end up on the streets’. 

‘Sarah...’ I began gently ‘not everyone has family to fall back on.’

‘But that’s crazy, how could someone have no one.’ 

‘Well, maybe they came from overseas and they have no family here. Maybe their parents are dead. Perhaps they have no friends. What if they were gay and their family disowned them? There are so many ways people end up in bad situations with no one to help them.’ 

Her eyebrows knitted together, I could see her thinking hard. Finally, she threw her hands up in frustration and shook her head. ‘I just don’t get it.’ 

------

Imagine being so lucky in circumstance that you can see the suffering of others and still not understand it.

It’s not her fault. It’s the world in which she grew up in. It’s the world I grew up in too, and though I try my best to be aware, I often feel the creeping shroud of privilege blind me to the struggles of others. 

And for this I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that the world refuses to see you, and fails to acknowledge the pain we cause.

We must do better than this.

[that-scribbler]

You can have excuses or you can have results. You can’t have both.

So which one will you choose?

[that-scribbler]

How to Overcome Writer’s Block

Write.

It’s as simple as that. 

You may feel blocked, jammed, clogged.

But you have fingers for typing (or hands for writing) and you have a mind for thinking, and it’s tick-tick-ticking away, all day every day.

You may feel uninspired, but when has inspiration ever determined your ability to pick up a pen and start making letters? 

I spend most of my life uninspired and yet I write every day.

You make inspiration. Don’t just sit around waiting for it to slap you over the head.

Just keep going. Because if you aren’t sifting through the rocks, you’re never going to find the diamonds.

[that-scribbler]

Happy or Comfortable

Being comfortable is not being happy, though they’re easy to get mixed up. 

Sometimes the easiest life in the world is also the unhappiest. 

Careful when labelling yourself ‘happy’. Look deep inside and ask yourself ‘am I happy or have I simply gotten comfortable?’

[that-scribbler]

The Doormat

You apologise when you shouldn’t. You feel bad for asking questions. You’re too frightened to express an opinion. 

You spend your whole life tiptoeing around other people, trying not to make a fuss, and then you go to bed every night thinking about every mistake you’ve ever made. 

‘What if they were offended when I said that?’

‘I bet they’re pissed at me.’ 

‘I can’t believe I did that!’

But deep down you’re thinking ‘I wish people treated me better. Why does no one treat me with respect?’

Ask yourself. How often do you think about your doormat’s feelings?

Every day, you scrape mud and leaves and twigs across its face and it sits there silently and takes the abuse. I’m sure, given the option, it would rather not be used as a doormat, but the thought never even occurs to you because its never made a complaint. Hell, maybe it likes it. 

But you are not a doormat. 

You have a voice. You have an opinion. You have value. And it’s your right to use all of them. 

It’s true, you shouldn’t have to demand respect, but sometimes you need to. How would you feel if your doormat suddenly turned around and said ‘do you mind not wiping yourself all over me?’ 

If you waste your time acting as a doormat, you’re only ever going to attract the people who will use you like one. You deserve better than that. 

So let your voice be heard. Express your opinions. Protest when you’re treated badly. Yes, you might lose some friends along the way, but trust me, friends who leave when you develop a spine were never your friends at all. 

If you have the choice between a thousand ‘user’ friends and one good one, take the good friend, he can lead you to the rest of his kind is.

[that-scribbler]

A whole year has passed since we lost our beautiful old man, Tiger. I still can’t believe it’s been so long. The world just doesn’t seem right without you ...

[that-scribbler]

How to Build Trust

‘Why don’t people trust me?’ He sighed, knitting his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair. He was gazing up at the roof, I could practically read the ‘poor me’ radiating from his eyeballs ‘Well ... have you given them a reason to trust you?’ I asked. 

He frowned, confusion etched into the furrow of his brow. ‘I’m telling them the truth, aren’t I ... why wouldn’t they trust me?’

‘Well ... you did miss that meeting the other day. And you forgot to send them that email.’ 

He scowled at me, leaning forward in his chair, tapping his feet nervously against the tiled floor. He didn’t like being called out like this. ‘Yeah, but I had a headache that day. And as for the email, it slipped my mind. it happens to the best of us.’

‘That’s fine, as long as you accept the fact that they aren’t going to trust you.’ 

----------

Trust is one of the most valuable commodities on this planet. It can win wars, and build empires. Trust may be the only thing standing between you and your greatest achievement. 

So why do people struggle so much to trust each other?

I’ll let you in on a secret. It’s not trust that people struggle with, it’s being trustworthy. 

If you aren’t a trustworthy person, people won’t trust you. It’s as simple as that. And when people don’t trust you, they certainly aren’t going to want to work with you, become friends with you, or help you. 

So go to those meetings. Send those emails as you promised when you promised. Make those phone calls. Get the work done when you said you would be done. Be consistent. 

Be trustworthy! 

It’s amazing how many people will start trusting you the moment you start being a person worthy of trust. 

The formula is quite simple. Build trust. Be Trustworthy.

[that-scribbler]

Take a Look

Have you ever stopped to look at yourself. 

And I mean really look at yourself. Not that freckle you don’t like, nor the wrinkles that didn’t used to be there. Not even the way your hair curls in that way that’s always annoyed you. 

Have you ever truly looked at yourself?

Because my goodness you are beautiful. 

From the evolutionary genius of your brain right down to the dextrous wonder of your fingertips. All the ages of mankind scraping and struggling their way down to you. And what a you you are. 

Your brain, is designed to be more intelligent and creative than anything that came before you. Your hands can grip and manipulate the world around you unlike any other. Your spine hoists you up higher than most animals ever dare to dream. And your determination ... the fact that you’re even here today shows that you are resilient, powerful and strong. 

Everything about you, from the wrinkles about your eyes, to that weird scar on your knuckle. Every crack. Every crevice. Every blemish tells the story of you. 

So don’t be ashamed of this wonderful, phenomenal, inspirational story. 

Show it to the world. 

You are a marvel. 

[that-scribbler]

The Littlest Things

If you’re ever feeling uninspired, remember to look for the beauty in the littlest things. The tiniest structures, the smallest organisms. 

Humans tend to focus on things as a whole and never look any deeper. 

It’s time to start looking at the smaller details. The veins of a leaf, the curve of a bird’s wing, the cross-hatched patterns of your own skin. Look at it closely and you’ll know beauty. 

Everything is beautiful if you only dare to look. 

[that-scribbler]

Toxic

Toxic people are like vampires.

They take and they take until there’s not much left of you but a dried husk. At first it can be almost impossible to notice. It starts slowly. A joking insult here. A cruel comment there.

But it grows. Slowly. Slowly.

Some of us really struggle to recognise toxic environments until the damage is already done. It can be hard to spot, but it leaves its marks all over you. Stop searching for the toxic environments around you, and instead start searching for the damage within yourself.

Look for the telltale signs.

Are you hurting, but you don’t know why? Do you feel bad about yourself? Are you stressed? Miserable? Exhausted? Do you feel a pang of dread before you see someone?

Once you recognise a toxic environment, you only have one choice.

Get out!

Whether it’s at your workplace, in a partnership, a relationship, or even your own business, toxic environments can spring up anywhere and you need to be able to deal with them.

If it’s your own business, you may have to decide whether you need to fire someone. If you’re working for someone else, you may need to make the decision to quit. Or if it’s in your own family or relationship, you may have to take yourself away from them.

It won’t be easy, and it may break your heart for a time. But your own mental health must come first. You can find another job, you can find another partner, but you only have one mind and one life. So don’t waste it on toxic people.

Take care of yourself

[that-scribbler]

Take the Leap

Today it was made clear to me that sometimes the hardest decisions in life can turn into the greatest opportunities. 

If something scares you, look deeper. Is it frightening because it’s a bad idea or because it’s a new idea. Human beings are creatures of habit. We’d happily choose the same old miserable rut over the shiny new path any day, because it’s what we know. It’s ‘safe’. 

We focus too much on what will happen if we fail, that we forget to ask ourselves what would happen when we succeed. 

Take a look at your life. Are you stuck in a rut too? Are there any changes you want to make in your life, but are afraid to?

Perhaps you should consider stepping out of that tired old rut you’ve been trudging through, and step out onto your own, brand new, shiny, terrifying path.

Take the leap.