terminal reblogger

I also draw sometimes

[transcarcinization]

contender for coldest line of the whole series

[oracleoutlook]

[lemonsweet]

[taydaughter]

i roleplay as a normal person every day in my real life so its nice to be able to be a freak on the diary website

[aropride]

12 years old: i was so cringe when i was nine, i'm super mature now though

15 years old: i was so cringe when i was twelve, i'm super mature now though. i'm a totally different person. i'm basically an adult

18 years old: i was so. (trying to be nicer to myself) fifteen. when i was fifteen. i wasn't an adult even a little back then. i'm an adult now though of course

21 years old: i was so newborn fawn taking its first steps when i was 18. i wasn't an adult at 18 i'm barely even an adult now tbh

23 years old: i was so. hey wait the others have all gone up in increments of three why'd it change

23 years old: because i'm still 23 so i can't speak to that experience yet

23 years old: do you think anything will magically change in the next few months to the point where you can't possibly imagine how you'll feel at 24

23 years old: i mean you never know. anything can happen. they're letting people born in 2002 turn 24, for instance

the mold spores in my house speaking to me telepathically: yeah that's perfect now hit post

[birdplushie]

now picture the character powerless and afraid and losing all hope

[that-truant-heart]

So basically I think moonrot would have really bad sex during or shortly after the events of canon. I mean, if Cleo has ever had sex (you're welcome for that thought), they definitely don't know that it's supposed to feel good. Pearl is probably more normal, but her fixation on selflessness is making me side-eye her a little bit. Presumably they'd work it out eventually, but until then, they're not having much fun.

[that-truant-heart]

There's a lot to love about Pearl's turning scene. Scott referring to Pearl as Cleo's second turn despite the fact they haven't turned anyone else today, actually, and he knows that*. They have killed someone, though. Easy to confuse the two. Cleo saying "I hate this" when this is what they've wanted all along, isn't it? Pearl turned under their fangs - willingly, even. The best possible outcome. Them asking Pearl if she's sure - as if she has a choice. As if there are any choices left at all.

(Others have already mentioned how similar Pearl's turning is in motivation to Apo's: it's a sacrifice she's willing to make for everyone else. Only Pearl's is acknowledged as a sacrifice, though, since Apo's turning had no witnesses. And witnesses are, of course, what makes a thing real. If a tree falls in the forest. . .)

And it hurts, dying, even when it's at the hand of someone you love. I just love that even this, the turning between the two people with possibly the most mutual respect and loyalty of any pairing in the series, is still painful and tainted by coercion. She doesn't like this, and Cleo doesn't particularly enjoy it either but it's too late to back out now. The two of them made this bed, and now they have to lie in it.

*I haven't seen Scott's pov, but the "[Owen] passed his pain onto the doc" scene would imply he knew Owen turned them, so.

[thegremlininyourcloset]

there are a thousand layers of tragedy to Apo’s story but one that really gets me is the fact that Apo never got to save anyone.

For a character as selfless and caring and willing to try again as Apo, it’s just so gut-wrenching sad that none of the people closest to them made it out, or at least made it out with their connections to Apo reasonably intact.

Apo did so much for all of the people under their protection. They sacrificed everything—their time, their loyalty, their chance at an even slightly less horrible stint in Oakhurst, even their life.

And the worst part is, it’s not like Apo accomplished nothing. They directly saved Martyn from his injuries and Pearl from the vampires and Doc from being turned by Cleo. They protected Avid and Drift in episode three and got all of the townsfolk through the final fights. They helped to damage Pyro, Owen and Avid to the degree that it contributed to all three of their deaths.

And in the end it didn’t matter.

Half of the people Apo wanted to protect became the people they had to kill. Doc got turned. Martyn and Ren died. She was betrayed over and over and over again.

And isn’t that so cruel?

Apo is kind and selfless and fights for what she believes in. The classic hero cannot stop everything from falling apart.

The love was there, and it didn’t save anyone.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i love having a corporeal form. i love eating warm food on cold days. i love taking hot showers. i love sleeping on clean sheets. i delight in earthly decadence. i wake up and eat warm bread slathered in butter. i own multiple pairs of soft fuzzy socks. this body is so comfy and i'm not returning it any time soon

[transcarcinization]

in many ways temeraire did not think of laurence as quite so small as he was

[that-truant-heart]

I'm trying to think of a way to say "if you liked vsmp bloodletting, you might also enjoy third life flower husbands" that doesn't make me sound insane.

[that-truant-heart]

So you know that thing Owen does where he'll make fairly small, subtle cuts to Legundo's dialogue that can change the meaning of the whole line? Ex:

I'm thrilled to inform you that Scott has been doing that to Jimmy for years.

[phantomrose96]

I'm thinking about AI again because we're in the Nexus that creates Torment for profit.

And there's a thought rattling around in my head over the fact that a lot of the issues with AI are not brand new to the technology era--a source of chronic and easy misinformation; a technology that causes people to withdraw and isolate and often self-harm; an environmental scourge; an absolute machete to critical thinking, disciplined learning, and meaningful study because why bother with hard and long tasks when you can get fast and easy dopamine hits--all of these can be applied to social media as well.

But something makes AI so foot-to-the-gas-pedal worse in such a festering and pervasive and sudden way, and I think my conclusion for that lies in this emergent technology debuting to the public already under the control of big tech mega-conglomerates who--and this part is critical--were absolutely panickingly desperate at the exact moment ChatGPT hit the scene.

And I'm going to bother you with graphs about this. Because I think it will help explain a lot of the Full-Shove-Down-Throatedness you've no doubt noticed with AI.

And like to back up a second--modern social media is controlled by these exact same mega-conglomerates. But the social media platforms didn't start that way. They were a lot of guy-in-his-basement style inventions--tumblr included--which developed to serve an organic and natural niche people wanted. No throat-shoving yet. Most of us (tumblr demographic) were probably sparkle-dogging on deviantart and--yeah whatever--superwholocking over here. And that was by no means perfect or necessarily even good but there was opportunity to ease in and learn the good and bad.

THEN the mega-conglomerates got it and Facebook is a festering cesspit and Twitter is Like That. But there was a bit of a gradual enshittification there, and I imagine most people following my blog are old enough such that you were able to recognize what enshitted itself and disengage appropriately.

AI--for all the way its ills mirror social media--was born a fully formed fucking asshole directly into the cradles of big tech. And it's weird to consider the technology behind LLMs is not, inherently, evil. And that feels weird because it never really had the chance to exist in the public eye in any capacity before it was the throat-shoved and desperate weapon of big tech downright begging you to rot your brain out your ears and steal your work and pollute the earth and stop thinking and stop trying and stop learning.

Which maybe then begs the question, WHY the crazy desperation? Why the complete disregard for sense, law, legal ownership, and customer voices? Why does 'fetch' need to happen and why do Tech CEO's talk about it like they're gonna bite the cyanide pill in their molars if you don't buy a fucking gemini subscription.

Well I promised you graphs.

Here's your first graph. And here's a little fun fact for those following at home: ChatGPT came out Dec 20, 2022.

This graph shows the stock price for Amazon, Google, Microsoft, and Meta (nee Facebook) between August 2016 (10 years ago) and Dec 20, 2022.

Now see that peak right before the start of 2022? Cover the downward side of it with your finger. Go on. Don't you see a beautiful exponential future of infinite growth? Don't you love when exponential growth is forever? Some of those returns were 400% in just 5 years. Sure, Covid caused a blip but what's a global pandemic in the face of a bullish stock run?

Okay now uncover the right side. That side is the screaming crying sobbing coaster of rich people feelings. And they were so very in their feels.

I'm zooming in on the graph for you. Welcome to November 2021 to Dec 20, 2022.

If you bought Amazon at peak? You were down 50%. Meta at peak? Down 60%. And every rich person investor is a money genius until the market turns, at which point it's panic to right the ship.

There were whispers of recession all throughout 2022 and it made the tech market crumble, because tech stock prices are highly speculative, and they ride market whiplash with more aggressive slingshotting than companies grounded in material value.

And then something happened on Dec 20, 2022. Obviously you know, I've said it 3 times. ChatGPT released. And oh boy.

Companies started promising AI. Investors started listening. The stock prices got happy.

Welcome to the graph 2022 to current day

And if the dance is working, they don't fucking stop dancing.

Do you WANT AI? Do you NEED AI? Will it actually help you? Might it in fact harm you? Will it harm the planet? Will it harm learning, and discipline, and the vulnerable, in the exact ways big tech companies are shoving it down people's throats?

Who give a shit! Whogiveasshitwhogiveasshitwhogiveahit. Money up! Desperate crying tech company HAPPY now. Money happy now!

Now the entire 10 year graph looks like this

And that scary scary scary scary drop off in 2022 that course corrected itself nigh exactly on December 20, 2022?

Well, you love AI, don't you? 🙂 As long as it's shoved down your throat.

[that-truant-heart]

I'm trying to think of a way to say "if you liked vsmp bloodletting, you might also enjoy third life flower husbands" that doesn't make me sound insane.

[privatejoker]

it's okay to draw for glory. don't let anyone convince you that art has to be a hobby. you don't have to rest or take breaks. if you feel yourself hitting a wall feel free to lose sleep over the process. you can forgo friendship if you need to. it's completely fine to want your art to win you immortality through your influence and canonization as a master. you don't have to take it easy

[whencircuitsshort]

why do people need to be domesticated animals for petplay,. u r my lion i bought you illegallu and you are trying to kill me. go

[sokolversus]

a knight who has abandoned his past life in pursuit of dragonhood