AND NEVER WILL BE

Alexis Langlais. Spy. Thief. Assassin. Indie TF2/Overwatch-focused OC. Penned by Vanyel.   ALSO: Mun for loosedhope, bronzeresonance, beerandoils, laste54, machine-minded.

[that-cashier-life]

I constantly have customers ask me if they can get cash back on their credit card.

Same. Or after the transaction goes through they yell, “UM I WANTED CASH BACK????” like it was my fault. I explain that it should have asked them, and ask if they used a debit card and they say no, a credit card. OKAY THEN. You can’t use a credit card at an ATM, so why would you be able to get cash back with one???

[r-maliciouscompliance]

Getting back at my employer.

I was told to post this here

I am contracted to start work at 8:45 but I usually get in for around 7:20 so that I can skip traffic.

Because of this, I usually start working because why not?

Keep reading

[memecollation]

Character Development — A collection of Character Development Questions!

If your character’s least-favourite family member deliberately destroyed your character’s favourite clothing article, how would they react?

What was your character’s latest job?

Does your character have a favourite vacation spot?  What is it?  Why?

Are there any causes or issues your character thinks needs more awareness? 

Who was your character’s favourite family member?  What were they like?

How did your character perform in school?

What does your character think the biggest obstacles to world peace are?

Does your character have a favourite fantasy animal?  What is it?  Why?

What would your character consider giving their maternal grandparents as a gift?  Why?

What would your character consider giving their parents as a gift?  Why?

What would your character consider giving their adoptive parents as a gift?  Why?

If your character’s romantic interest lost your character’s favourite object, how would they react?

If your character found someone’s credit card someone had obviously lost, what would they do?

Has your character ever been close to death?  If so, when and why?

If your character found their mother’s private journal, would they read it?

If your character found a million euros what would they do?

If your character was responsible for the death of their parents, how would they feel?

Would your character give their life for anything?  Why?

If your character got a gift they hated, how would they react?

If your character found a roll of undeveloped film someone had lost, what would they do?

If your character found a time machine, what would they do?

[quotemadness]

How long has it been since someone touched part of you other than your body?

Laurel Hoodwrit (via quotemadness)

[memecollation]

Reblog if your muses greatest wish is to reunite with their FATHER.

[thatneverwas]

bludayze‌:

              .:Ah, so it was going to be like that, huh? It did make Ludwig a bit upset to know he’d have one less willing patient, but so it goes; there was no reason to fight or push for it, no matter how much he wanted it. Though admittedly he was getting a bit annoyed at the very obviously enunciated “docteur,” it was (thankfully) well hidden behind his curious gaze. “Ah, well that’ll be that then!” came his surprisingly agreeable tone; a shrug rolled through his shoulders quickly as he spoke though, his posture righted itself upwards and his arms now electing to lay over his lap idly. As long as Ludwig got to take care of the much more “important” tasks, then he would not care–he would still get the credit at the end of the day.

              .:“You know,” he started with a voice trailing off in thought. “They say the best way to counter something is to learn how to become one. I think we can agree that Spies are, arguably, my worst enemy to deal with. In exchange for being denied most of the fun parts of my job, perhaps you can teach me how Spies think and act?” It was a long shot–and he knew damn well Spies enjoyed their privacy–but perhaps it would not hurt to try at least. “You can say no of course. But it would be a nice gesture!” Ah, the ol’ puppy-eyed enthusiasm. Pretty much guaranteed to not work on a Spy.

Hmm. It seemed this Medic took the news surprisingly well for one of his kind. Either that, or he was far more versed in deception on such matters - Alexis was not yet inclined to settle on one or the other.

The corner of his lip twitched. Enthusiasm. “Between your lack of knowledge about them, and their inevitable awareness of that, I believe you are correct about your worst enemy, docteur,” Alexis hummed softly. He took a long, hard look at the man. “...it would likely be in the best interests of the team if I were to give you enough general insights into surviving. Of course, I can only tell you so much - despite the suits, us Spies do vary in temperament, skill, and style.”

[thatneverwas]

(throw) ((if you’re accepting these still))

He was not expecting it.

The Spy had snuck up on the Engineer, far away from his toys. Left them alone even during the respawn period as a lure, just to get the perfect shot.His knife had been raised, his arm had come down - 

And Alexis felt himself flying through the air, thrown by the very arm that should’ve murdered the man.

He slammed into the wall with a low grunt, instinctively holding his shoulder, just barely not dropping the gun.“Mierde...”

[persephonememes]

* (  REIGN /  SENTENCE PROMPTS. 

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ How many people have you killed? ❜

❛ History is a strong word. It was more of a… dalliance. ❜

❛ Have you ever wanted something so much that the fear of not getting it makes you wonder if you ever should have wanted it at all? ❜

❛ I don’t want to live without you and after this I won’t have to.  ❜

❛ No one will ever keep us apart again. ❜

❛ Men in general like to win. ❜

❛ Well, your taste in men always did leave something to be desired. ❜

❛ In the darkest of times you were my conscience. ❜

❛ The more we try to help each other, the more harm we do. ❜

❛ I lose everyone I love. ❜

❛ What odd turns our lives have taken. ❜

❛ I don’t give my heart or give up easily. ❜

❛ You have to admit, your fate does have a sense of humor. ❜

❛ I need to forget a ridiculous, childish idea that I could love someone, they could love me, and nothing else mattered. ❜

❛ There is always risk. At least when you love someone it’s worth taking. ❜

❛ I never said I was a good man, but one can receive good advice from a bad person.❜

❛ Love is never simple. Not that I’m any expert. ❜

❛ Are you wearing mink-lined boots? ❜

❛ Well if I have to run I want to look good doing it. ❜

❛ We were supposed to dance under the stars. ❜

❛ Maybe there is no magic but what we make for ourselves. ❜

❛ If the price is my life, I will give it. ❜

❛ I can’t bear to think about a future anymore, not without you. ❜

❛ What good is right or wrong if you’re dead? ❜

❛ Men don’t like taking orders from women. ❜

❛ And real love never fades, not truly. ❜

❛ Just know whatever happens, this is not the end I dreamed for us. ❜

❛ Do not test my power and do not tempt my fury. ❜

❛ If I’m as responsible as you say, I will never forgive myself. ❜

❛ I will spill blood to defend what’s mine. ❜

❛ Men forget, that woman have ears. ❜

❛ Duels only lead to dead men, not respect. ❜

❛ I am trying to be better! ❜

❛ You’re a monster. ❜

❛ You are a necessary evil whose orbit I can’t seem to escape. ❜

❛ I opened my heart to a liar. ❜

[brooins-blog]

when you’re in the mood to plot and write with new people but you can’t form anything other than “we should plot yes this is good”

[lilac-rph]

                     It’s not right.      I can’t 𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙚 the choice I made.

[rpmusings-galore]

                   they molded you into a monster 

                        sharpened your claws

                                         your fangs

                                      ripped out everything good and holy

                                  made you howl until your throat burned

                  maybe it’s time to show them what a mistake they’ve made

                          they should never have given you such a  b i t e 

[rp-memes-atyourservice]

Manhandling symbol starters

Send one for your muse to…

★ - drag my muse by the arm ⁂ - grab my muse by the front of their shirt, possibly shoving them back ✱ - take my muse by the hips to carefully move them out of their way ➜ - smack my muse upside the head ⌧ - grip my muse by the back of the neck © - put a hand on my muse’s back to steer them somewhere ✂ - point sternly at a chair and tell my muse to sit down ✉ - push my muse back down when they try to get out of bed (perhaps involving illness, injury, or sleep deprivation) ☛ - press a finger to my muse’s lips to shut them up ♚ - put a hand on my muse’s knee while sitting next to them, to discourage them from standing up ♧ - slap my muse’s hand away from something they shouldn’t touch ♦ - grab my muse’s hair and yank ♤ - slam a door shut before my muse can leave the room ♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them ♭ - grip my muse’s jaw to make them look yours in the eye ♨ - rub my muse down with a sponge/wet cloth  ☀ - pin my muse with their arms behind their back ☠ - slam my muse into a wall ☾ - wrestle/pin my muse to the ground

Add as much or as little context as you’d like!

[rp-memes-atyourservice]

Symbol meme starters.

Send one for my muse’s reaction! Feel free to alter context, switch muse’s positions, etc, as necessary. Contains some mild NSFW.

(chest) - for your muse to press a hand against my muse’s chest (hair) - for your muse to bury their face in my muse’s hair (backhand) - for your muse to backhand my muse (jaw) - for your muse to grip my muse’s jaw in one hand (lap) - for your muse to sit in my muse’s lap (whisper) - for your muse to whisper in my muse’s ear (bottom) - for your muse to rest a hand on my muse’s ass (or slap it) (undress) - for your muse to undress mine (may not be nsfw!) (pin) - for your muse to pin mine to a specified surface  (yank) - for your muse to yank mine out of the way of danger (bite) - for your muse to bite mine (palm) - for your muse to clap a hand over my muse’s mouth (throw) - for your muse to physically throw mine (piggyback) - for your muse to leap onto my muse’s back for a piggyback ride (nourish) - for your muse to provide my muse with food or drink (secret) - for your muse to reveal a secret to mine (specify the secret!) (discover) - for your muse to discover information about mine that they shouldn’t know (rescue) - for your muse to rescue mine from danger (promise) - for your muse to make mine a promise, whether they intend to keep it or not (lie) - for your muse to lie to mine (specify the lie) (confess) - for your muse to make a confession of truth to mine (command) - for your muse to give my muse an order or instruction, which may or may not be followed (hide) - for your muse to hide somewhere with my muse (sleep) - for your muse to fall asleep on mine (misc) - create your own/sender specifies! useful if something here gives you an idea that isn’t otherwise written.

[feed-your-inbox]

Send ♦️ to hypnotize my muse! Tell them what they have to do, and they'll have no choice but to!

[quotemadness]

He was no longer scared of what tomorrow might bring, because yesterday had brought it.

Neil Gaiman (via quotemadness)

[rpmusings-galore]

           wounds don’t ever heal

                  you just notice them less

            on good days, you forget they exist at all

             but, then comes that one word, that sight, 

      that   s o u n d   that brings the pain rushing back

                                    and you realize

                     you never truly stopped bleeding

                            you just stopped seeing it

[thatneverwas]

bludayze‌:

              .:“You could be right,” Ludwig replied calmly, taking the punches as they rolled in, “he was a fun adversary in how clever he was, really.” Still he listened to the rest, and the last couple of comments found him chuckling with amusement. “Oh hardly! It was more to make sure you wouldn’t try and run from the necessary ones! You’d be surprised how many people tend to avoid me for real threats.” Of course he could guess why, he just didn’t understand it.

              .:Even if Alexis would be suspicious or distance with him, the doctor hardly seemed phased by the idea. Instead he found a chair to sit himself on, rose his right leg to rest atop the left one, and placed his elbows on both thighs. The left palm was dedicated to propping his head up, the right one allowed to cross over his lap and dangle off the side; it made a very relax, curious pose–one that did not feel hostile yet.

              .:“How long will you be here, Herr Spy?” came his next question. “I figure you would not want to get close, of course. But I do need to know any medical history if you plan to be here any longer than a week.” There was a slight grin on his face–but it was just one of expectancy, hoping that he’d at least earn that much from his new coworker.

The doctor sat. Alexis settled himself against the wall nearby, never one to cut off a conversation with a coworker while they were still on good terms. That could come later.

Ah, there it was. Alexis let a faint smile settle onto his face - just a hint of the long-suffering patience of explaining this to so many before him. “Unfortunately, docteur, I have an outside arrangement for medical history. Everything that the company and I have shared with the Medics is in my file. Something you’ll find typical of the contracts with Spies.” A heavily redacted file, with only the obvious things, and the occasional medical history detail. “And I have my own services for regular checkups - I would not wish to take up your valuable time with...trivialities.”

No random Medic would have him on their operating table unless absolutely an emergency. And even then, Alexis would rather not.

“As for your actual question,” Alexis said softly, offering a small shrug, “as long as they plan to have me at this base. Likely at least a few months - this base seemed rather in need of the assistance, according to the dossier. They would not pull me out again so soon.”