boldly going forward 'cause we can't find reverse

icon by lesbikan | oh my god, they killed chad...!

[ariaste]

The Fantasy Romans book, at last

So excited to reveal the cover to my new book today, The Wisdom of Emperors! You can check it out on Kickstarter, along with the full summary!

Inspired by the story of the Ancient Roman emperor Hadrian and his lover Antinous, The Wisdom of Emperors is a second-world adult fantasy novel written in the style of a fictional academic text. It documents the translation and study of a world-changing artifact discovered in an archaeological dig: a manuscript which provides the clues to finally unravel the mysteries surrounding one of the most famous emperors of the ancient world. 

The Kickstarter campaign is for the deluxe collector's edition, but you'll be able to preorder the standard hardback/paperback, PLUS the early-access ebook, available to backers well before general publication to everyone else. And there's going to be some really, REALLY cool merch as well (genuine papyrus bookmarks, designed and blockprinted by my own hands!)

Anyway, the Kickstarter goes live on May 5th at 4:00pm EST, so if you are the sort of person who reads news articles about major new archaeological discoveries and gets SUPER MAD that they don't tell you absolutely everything about why it's important and what it changes about what we thought we knew..... this one's for you, babe. ;)

[ariaste]

Also I was told by a publishing industry insider that this book probably wouldn't sell because publishers are explicitly saying that they don't want "challenging" books, they want books that (and i QUOTE) "aren't necessarily making readers think"

So if that pisses you the FUCK off, sauce me a signal boost.

[falseficus]

everybody’s always on writing prompts like “what if there was a world where everyone had a timer ticking down to their death… but you met someone whose timer said infinity!” or “what if everyone had their cause of death tattooed across their forehead… but you met someone whose forehead said THE CREATURE!” Enough -

enough. stop with the shock value. there is no need to insert THE CREATURE; the benign concept of such a world is horrifying enough. not even in urgency, but just in banal, everyday interaction. imagine you meet someone and their timer says two years. not tomorrow, not urgently soon, but two years. enough to do quite a lot. they could fall in love in that time - could they get engaged? have a baby? you might otherwise get to know them, befriend them, but perhaps you opt not to, make a conscious choice not to invest in your own grief. what balancing act would every individual person have to participate in - I have ten years, is that long enough to be a good mother to children? is that long enough to secure a caretaker for my own mother? my wife will die a few months before me. my newborn’s timer reads nineteen years.

and cause of death. you interview for a job and emblazoned across the healthy, smiling face of the HR lady is MALNUTRITION. your country is prospering, safe, but every person you meet on the street from the babies to the old women read BOMB. BOMB. what kind of havoc would fate wreak on the world? what about the loss of privacy? how would that shape our notions of hope? idk man I think a lot of those ancient poems were right, and the fates are monsters. I’m interested by the framing of these ideas as trite horror tales when the premises themselves are so much more disturbing if simply taken to their logical ends

[tothechaos]

ever since i was a small child i knew i wanted to have an unemployable skillset

[fiercestpurpose]

Every night at eleven I have to choose between enjoying the sweet embrace of slumber or staying up late to do something enriching and fun that I wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to do. And every night at eleven I take the secret third option of “doing nothing on my phone until one in the morning.”

[annabelle--cane]

I will be honest if someone posted "I'm a tutor and everyday I watch zoomers try to double tap on books to open them" thousands of you would reblog it and tag "😱 it's so scary that this is what all kids today are really like they're so helpless and stupid omg!!! those damn kids need to get off their phones!!!!"

[annabelle--cane]

things a concerning amount of people aged 25-40 on this site believe about today's children:

they don't know how to read and this makes them mean and dumb. also even though their meanness and dumbness are the result of poor education, they are still personal character flaws that deserve to be mocked.

they are responsible for wide scale censorship in schools and on social media. because, as we all know, children are famously politically powerful, never want to see horny or edgy content, and love it when books are banned in their school libraries.

they love to spread misinformation around so they can all armchair diagnose each other and act like they have learning disabilities in order to excuse their laziness about doing school work. obviously they are all liars and just need to just get their acts together and grow up instead of shirking responsibility for their actions like this.

they are uniquely cruel in comparison to past generations, and this is because of Phone. and also TikTok. no one has ever been cruel like this before.

they would all be much better off with their parents monitoring their internet usage. if they're closeted and their parents are homophobic then, well, sucks for them. kids being abused out of sight is better than them being annoying where I can see them.

[thejonymyster]

My Blog Is Not A Safe Space

i put landmines everywhere and i have no fucking idea where i put them please fucking help me

[rukafais]

[amongus-text-detector]

My Blog Is Not A Safe Space

i put landmines everywhere and i have no fucking idea where i put them please fucking help me

1 amongus (ඞ!) detected in your post!

[raspberry-bi]

[succubusboyfriend]

beautiful british women named Battery Low are trying to contact me through my noise cancelling headphones

[doublism]

i am working on a tumblr post that has the potential to get 2 or even 3 notes

[valtsv]

due to woke the hanged man tarot card is being replaced by the hung woman

[pyropotter]

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

[carnival-phantasm]

I miss tumblr's Reblog Balls

[spooky-fubuki]

These ones? Ah I don't want to update my app and suffer then

[carnival-phantasm]

No, I mean the tumblr labs' Reblog Balls

It was a feature where you could see the size of a tumblr user's balls in each post they were in. The more people reblogged directly from them, the bigger their balls.

It was interesting because as soon as a contrarian rant, shit take, insane reply and/or dumb addition was added to a post, you could check these and, inevitably, you'd find a common link responsible for the spread of the shit version of said post, and I just found fascinating how awful tumblrs were interconnected.

I guess you could use it to curate your dash by blocking/blacklisting everyone in the Shit Chain, but I was always too lazy to do it.

[human-south-of-north-pole]

[bill-nye-official-blog]

we used to have so many balls

[badgerpunk]

[carnival-phantasm]

@staff the people have spoken: return our balls

[carnival-phantasm]

RETURN OF THE BALLS !

[uss-edsall]

[mopeytropey]

the remarkable thing about fandom friends is that even as you get older and you acquire more demanding jobs or you find a partner or expand your family or, for a thousand different reasons, you feel yourself pulled away and you no longer have the luxury of endless, uninterrupted hours to spend writing or creating or chatting online, even still we keep these points of contact and we make time for our happenstance friends brought into our lives by the universe for often really innocuous reasons and we reach out to say ‘hey, I’m thinking of you’ in a hundred, unique iterations whenever we can find a spare minute because the thing that brought us together as friends is never the whole picture and over time we often discover that we actually have loads more in common than this one, singular interest that spanned across cultures and countries and timezones, and I’m just feeling really grateful for these people who have chosen to share parts of their lives and thus enriched my own life with their creativity and experiences and perspectives and it’s all thanks to this odd, little community called fandom for bringing good people together in its countless, unpredictable ways.

[tytanyx]

The whole thing about starting your career making bible games should have been a red flag huh?

[kingpin-of-steel-act3]

Awww shit yall know what it is

[emirrart]

Thank u discord

[birdsareblooming]

Knuckles’s pronouns are Knuckles/Knuckles

[azuretheshitposter]

is nobody going to talk about how eggman is nothing but lgbt rights in this comic

[khatharsis42]

He's a bad guy, but he's not a bad guy

[doctor-thedoctor]

do you guys remember when chibnall said he had a five-season plan for doctor who?

if dw doesn’t go on a hiatus again it’s 2018 - one, 2020 - two, 2021 - three, 2022 - four, 2023 - five.

you know what else is in 2023? the sixtieth anniversary special.

[universe-on-her-shoulders]

I’m rewatching Fugitive of the Judoon and can I just say, everyone is assuming that Lee was the Master but I’m just saying... Allan is SO clearly the Master, evidence:

1. Literally compiled a file of evidence on why the Doctor’s husband is an unworthy piece of crap, including photos and extensive research, and has been presenting this to her at frequent intervals to get her to leave Lee for him instead

2. Tries insanely hard to get her attention (“for you, I’d try anything” - even a chameleon arch?)

3. Literally gives the Doctor’s husband a cake for her saying “you can do better”

4. Threatens Lee with violence at frequent intervals

5. Gleefully sets the Judoon on Lee in a bid to get rid of him

6. Is generally kind of a dork

[universe-on-her-shoulders]

Like are y’all telling me that this isn’t 100% something the Master would do????