Manifesting Friends During a Loneliness Epidemic: My Experience
Since day 1 of discovering manifestation/law of assumption in 2020 one of top things I wanted to manifest was a group of friends. I already had friends, but I didn't feel like my wants and needs were being met. For years, I was the only one reaching out and I didn't feel I was getting much in return.
Prior to discovering manifestation, I had a group of friends in my early 20s, and they got me excited in a way like no other friend group. They were always doing something. I never felt bored. I was seeing them every 1-2 weeks. We went to state parks, movies, grab food, bowling, bar, clubs, plays. There were birthday parties, pajama parties, sleepovers. Yet, overtime, a lot of these individuals came with drama, and after a conflict with the unofficial leader of the group, I suddenly found myself lonely and friendless.
I would go on to find other friends, both in groups and individuals, yet they didn't have the same energy as my former group of friends. While I was happy to be free of the toxicity of the former group, the new group left me feeling unsatisfied. My new friends just never seemed to ever want to go anywhere or do anything. I spent more time on my own than I did with them. Maybe it's the Sagittarius in me? I don't necessarily need to travel the world to have fun but I just felt so bored beyond belief by these new friends. Then, the pandemic hit and that certainly didn't help. As restrictions lifted and the issues persisted, my mom would suggest, "maybe they're homebodies" as a source of the problem. If that's the case, they never want to do homebody things either like play video games, bake gluten free cookies, or share a bottle of wine while watching The Bachelor.
When I discovered manifestation, I began to internalize the behavior of my friends. I thought maybe I had limiting beliefs and was assuming them to act in a way I didn't like or giving them free will to do so. I suddenly focused my efforts towards manifesting them to be better. I would affirm things like:
My friends always make me a priority.
My friends always invite me places.
My friends always text and call me.
My friends never forget about me.
This was met with mixed success. I had gotten an occasional once-a-year invite extended my way, but I wasn't getting out as frequent as I wanted, and this dynamic wasn't allowing me to develop any substantial closeness with these individuals.
Over time, I redirected my efforts towards manifesting new friends with commonality. Again, this was met with mixed success. I had made a new friend who I would text with on a semi-regular basis, and eventually we hung out. We had so much in common, such as love of animals, nature, spirituality. She also was understanding of my physical limitations, as she had limitations of her own. She invited me out two weekends in a row! "Lucky me!" I had thought, as I was used to only getting invited to do something once a year if at all. But this new friendship began to burn out a quickly as it started. I began to notice a side to her that was very pushy and domineering, she would give unsolicited advice, and generally was always trying to tear me down or challenge the way I do things. I began to distance myself from her for my own peace.
Fast forward to 2024, I'm wondering:
What limiting beliefs are still there?
What affirmations do I need to do?
Am I bad at manifestation?
What do these experiences say about my manifestation abilities?
And then this year I began noticing videos and articles surfacing about the loneliness epidemic. Suddenly, I resonated with so much. The constant trying and not getting much in return. Maybe I don't suck at manifestation? Maybe this is how a lot of my millennial and gen z peers are? The irony and confusion of how we're more connected than ever yet lonelier than ever is often stressed. I think what it is, is that on social media, we curate and present whatever we want to about our lives online. Perhaps, people no longer feel the need to reach out via call or text or invite you to get together and catch up because they look at one facebook post or snapchat selfie and assume that encapsulates it all. They don't need to ask how you're doing because they just saw it for themselves online. Maybe they think it's enough to "like" your post or "view" your story to show that they care. Maybe I'm an old soul, but that's not enough for me. I don't feel many articles or videos on the loneliness epidemic address friend groups like the one I found myself in. It baffles me that I encountered so many friends over the years that are content to do nothing and not have irl interactions when presented with the opportunity to go somewhere or do something fun at home. I'm not sure manifestation/law of assumption is an exact science. The night I met these friends I assumed they were much more adventurous based on the stories they shared with me. Contrary to what I assumed, they did not meet that need of mine.
My discovery of the loneliness epidemic gives me hope that there are others out there like me that strive for connection and maybe more opportunities for friends will arise with time. It also has allowed me to give myself some grace. I will continue my journey to manifest friends, but I will no longer be hard on myself if I encounter frustrations along the way. Ironically, once I dumped the affirmations and began focusing on myself, I've attracted more like-minded individuals that actually want to get together at a cafe and talk about life. I wanted to write this article for those who have encountered the same struggles to know they're not alone. I hope you will give yourself some grace as well.
If you made it this far, please consider liking, following, and sharing. I'm still new to this and I appreciate all of the support I've gotten so far. Even if I reach one person, I'm happy to be helping that one person and making a difference. <3
