what if it is the horror itself?

indie rp sideblog for john silver of black sails. 18+ only, selective. rules and about are still somewhat wip, because this is a Very Relaxed rp blog all things considered. multiverse, multishipping, anon and oc friendly. doubles and multimuses also welcome! follows from intolerablexsacrifice. written by malakh (23, he/him) Disclaimer: I don't own any content here but my own writing and some icons, etc etc. Icon (c) holmesdepot. var sc_project=12003661; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="2f4bfd7a";

[intolerablexsacrifice]

18+ only multimuse for various fandoms, primarily black sails. crossover-friendly. multi-everything....

GUESS WHO’S MOVED BLOGS, it’s malakh.

featuring literally all of my tumblr muses, though some pages are still WIP and i’ve probably forgotten to add some things. primarily black sails muses, with a bunch of ocs and of course my bedlam stacks lads.

i’ll be dropping the vast majority of my interactions on here (+my sideblogs) to give myself a fresh start, but pls feel free to hop into the inbox at any point. however, if i’ve sent you any asks or you have things drafted for me, please feel free to continue them! just tag the new blog in your reply.

(reblogging is also appreciated)

[fairweathermyth]

2x01 | 4x09

[tereteretereteretereteretere]

current mood: needs to be kissed

[thatwasdark]

@infamouscabal (from here)

It wasn’t that he’d forgotten how tall Horst was, exactly; it was just easy not to notice it sometimes, especially if he was sitting and Silver was standing, as they had been before. So when Horst rose, rounding on him, Silver couldn’t help but take an instinctive step back, his stomach jolting. Horst was big. Silver had never seen him irritated before, and he hadn’t expected to see him that way now, after what he’d intended as a joke. There was something other about the way he’d rounded on Silver that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Men who were naturally angry were easy to deal with. Men who were pleasant and cheerful right up until they weren’t were a fucking nightmare.

“Not the type to get into a fight over looking a little untidy?” Silver asked, blinking innocently up at him. “You’re right. I’m not.” That wasn’t what Horst had meant and Silver knew it, but he smiled anyway, folding his arms. “Of all the sins I thought you’d be beholden to, I didn’t expect vanity to be one of them.”

[thatwasdark]

goooood morning i have silver muse today

[thatwasdark]

❝ look at me! look at me! ❞ ( a last ditch attempt to distract him from the removal of his leggy)

tw: amputation

“I don’t want this,” Silver chokes out. “Do you hear me, I do not want this, I don’t want this–” He’s wild and sweating, thrashing under the hands of the men holding him, and his leg is a searing hot mess of agony but above it all, above everything, is the terror.

Look at me, Jane tells him, and her hands are hot and damp on his face, turning his head once the men have forced more rum down his throat, and Silver is coughing and crying out but the one thing he won’t do is plead. 

“I don’t want this,” he croaks again, his eyes staring into Jane’s but barely seeing her, and then the men are holding him down harder and Howell raises his arm and Silver screams. He screams and he doesn’t black out because G-d is not so merciful but at some point he’s outside of himself, gone, the pain all-consuming and the men’s hands still on him and Jane’s voice there, but he’s gone. He’s there and not there. 

Eventually, his voice gives out.

[thornysuggestion]

the most terrifying thing is finding someone who stays.

[thatwasdark]

HEADCANON. (don’t r/b)

In a fight-or-flight scenario, one would think that Silver’s default reaction would be flight - and for most scenarios, that’s very much true. But when it comes to violence, his actual response is freeze. In canon, whenever he’s grabbed or hit by someone (Flint and Hammond in s1, the crew in s2, Hands in s4, probably others that I’m currently forgetting about) he never fights back; he never even flinches as if he’s going to. What he does instead is stay as still as possible, let whoever’s manhandling him say whatever they’re going to say, and then either remain silent or start running his mouth depending on which option will ensure his survival. 

This changes during s4- when Hands slaps him a second time, Silver stands right up and gets in his face- still very stiff and frozen, but nonetheless confronting him about it rather than simply allowing it. But the point I’m making is just TL;DR; if you manhandle/hurt Silver he’s going to fucking freeze and wait it out rather than fighting back or running and it pains me.

[thatwasdark]

me every time i get to write silver getting smacked: finally, some good fucking food

[thatwasdark]

Slaps Silver in the face -- because they deserve it. (J's lost his already nominal patience.)

If you’d asked him whether he’d deserved it or not, Silver would have said--well. He probably would have said there was no need to slap him around, and that this entire ordeal would run a lot more smoothly if he didn’t need to add ‘Cabal losing his temper and smacking him again’ to his growing list of anxieties about the endeavour. 

It was talking, of course, that had gotten him slapped in the first place. Silver had supposedly never dealt with someone so thoroughly determined to despise him for - as far as Silver could see - no good reason. 

The slap had hurt, but it wasn’t the burning sting that made him finally keep his mouth shut. It wasn’t even the shock of the impact, or the annoyance at himself when the barest twitch of Cabal’s hand made him flinch again (he was only adjusting his gloves; he wasn’t lifting his hand to Silver at all). It was just that he needed a moment of silence to think about what he said next.

Silver’s head had snapped to the side when Cabal struck him, and it stayed that way for several seconds as he blinked in shock and thought hard about his next move. Cabal was taller. More accustomed to fighting than Silver, who preferred to run if given the chance, though at the moment he deeply wished he could punch Cabal in the mouth.

More importantly than that, Cabal had a gun that Silver was fairly certain couldn’t exist, or didn’t exist, or shouldn’t. 

“...Now that you’ve gotten that out of your system,” he said slowly, looking up at him again, his face carefully blank. Not for the first time since dealing with Cabal, a heavy edge of irritation crept into Silver’s usually-cheerful voice. “Need I remind you that I am the only reason you weren’t caught and killed aboard that ship? In fact - need I remind you I’m the only reason you were even able to board that ship, and escape whatever the fuck you were running from before? I didn’t fucking sign up for anything more than getting paid at the end of this, and I certainly don’t remember implying you’d be allowed to treat me however the fuck you saw fit at any point at the start of our arrangement,” Silver snapped. “Keep your fucking hands to yourself, unless you’d like to continue your journey alone.”

[thatwasdark]

“ i see so much of you in me lately. ” late teen Darcy meets him in her dreams, newly aware of Silver’s nature, of what he has done. It’s so new she isn’t even angry yet, doesn’t seem him as a snake yet. She’s too far out from reconciling what THEY had done to realize Silver had done what he had to. “I wanted to be more like you than him. ‘Cause I’m stupid, I guess.”

He looks exactly as he had on Skeleton Island. Scraped and dirty and bloodied, his hair matted and damp with grease and sweat, his body sunken with exhaustion but still somehow propped upright. His eyes are that bright, all-knowing blue and they brim with salt water he refuses to shed even here, in the mind of a teenager. 

Someday soon she’s going to hate him. Silver knows this as well as surely as if it has already happened. Time is a nebulous thing when you’re dead.

“And now?” His voice is soft, and sad, and somehow restrained as if he’s fighting not to say the things begging to spill from his throat. “Do you want to be like him now, knowing what you know of him?”

[intolerablexsacrifice]

[What do you think it is about Truck that brings out Silver's bossy side?]

HELLO I FORGOT THIS WAS IN MY ASKBOX and also i’m posting it publicly Just Because even though it’s technically on the wrong blog, fight me about it

anyway i think it’s LARGELY just because truck is a man - silver is always a bossy little shit with his partners, but especially with men, which i think is probably because of his issues with control and mistrusting men in general. he’s still bossy when he’s with women, and it’s not like he doesn’t mistrust them too; he doesn’t really do the typical like, ‘soft with women but rough with men’ trope shit either, it’s more complex than that. 

there’s also sort of the idea in silver’s mind (due to experience) that like, women fight with wits and words, which he can match, therefore he sees himself as equal to them- whereas men tend to fight with physical strength, which he can’t match, therefore he always has to take that into account and find other ways of feeling like he’s in control around them. and that’s just a general thing, but it bleeds into all of his interactions, including interpersonal relationships. (and of course it’s a stereotype - but it’s also one that fits with the narrative of BS, because the only woman we do really see in an actively physically violent position is anne). 

SO TLDR IT’S TO DO WITH GENDER AND CONTROL ISSUES but not entirely, bc silver wouldn’t be involved with truck at all if he didn’t trust him to some degree; truck is just deeply fun to banter with and silver likes the way he responds to things, even when truck is also being a shit. it’s just fun and feels safe and silver revels in it.

[thatwasdark]

@metalzerotruck

[eternalmemes]

𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ! ( season one,  part three )

❛  what is going on ?  because i have a right to know.  ❜ ❛  you wanna get me killed or something ?  ❜ ❛  please put down the gun.  ❜ ❛  what are you doing ?  i thought we were past this.  ❜ ❛  wow.  you just cannot give it to me,  can ya ? that’s sad.  unbelievable.  ❜ ❛  what’s all this sunshine ?  ❜ ❛  you are over, you little punk-ass bitch !  ❜ ❛  please don’t be sad.  i promise i’m gonna fix this.  ❜ ❛  i don’t know what you’ve gotten me involved in,  but it’s something super shady.  ❜ ❛  i hate to be the one to say i told you so,  but did i not tell you this was a bad idea ?  ❜ ❛  okay,  i know it would be really nice and neat to just make it my fault.  ❜ ❛  we needed the money,  and you got on board real quick.  ❜ ❛  you know what ? do what you want,  just leave me the hell out of it.  ❜ ❛  you can’t just bail when things get bad.  ❜ ❛  can i ask you one thing  — are you doing this for us ?  ❜ ❛  you know what ?  i’ve had a really tough week,   so if there’s any way you could spare me the judgment…  ❜ ❛  you can be a real dick,  you know that ?  ❜ ❛  the sky is always falling.  it’s like every time i look down,  it’s pieces of sky.  ❜ ❛  wait —  are you laughing or crying ?  ❜ ❛  everybody’s accounted for.  i’m like supes responsible.  ❜ ❛  let me give you some advice,  yeah ?  when you’ve got a rotten egg in the bunch,  it stinks up the whole lot until you get rid of it.  ❜ ❛  like i said, i’m handling it.  ❜ ❛  you don’t have the best track record with money.  ❜ ❛  it’s just not a good time for me to get back into crime.  ❜ ❛  if you wanna talk about it, let’s talk about it like adults.  ❜ ❛  if we don’t use guns,  is it even really a crime ?  ❜ ❛  you’ve been crawling out of your skin like a frog in a slow boil.  ❜ ❛  you know what ? i did my part.  you handle this.  ❜ ❛  why are you trying to play me with this side hustle stuff ?  ❜ ❛  you think you’re a boss now,  huh ?  ❜ ❛  you ain’t no boss.  and on the real,  you ain’t gonna be nothing until you get your house in order.  ❜ ❛  why don’t you let me help you ?  what have you got to lose ?  ❜ ❛  do you think i’m insane ?  ❜ ❛  we’re not killing anyone.  ❜ ❛  there is a line here.  and if you cross it,  you can’t come back.  ❜ ❛  well if that’s what you’re into,  there’s more where that came from.  ❜ ❛  so this is a test ?  ❜ ❛  go home.  what me and you had is done,  over.  ❜ ❛  you think i need you ?  ain’t nothing but a damn charity case to me.  ❜ ❛  i need more of your bitch-ass drama like i need a hole in my head.  ❜ ❛  i just deal with it in my own way,  okay ? ❜ ❛  i wanna know what’s up with those pjs.  i mean really,  you look like you’re in a dickens novel.  ❜ ❛  what would it take for you to walk out on me ?  ❜ ❛  it doesn’t matter what we’ve done.  we’re the good guys.  ❜ ❛  look, nobody said this was gonna be easy, okay ?   ❜ ❛  you cannot text “9-1-1” unless it’s an actual 9-1-1  ❜ ❛ i’m gonna fix it,  and it’ll all be over.  ❜ ❛ there has to something that you want   —   anything.  ❜ ❛ you are going to need a drink.  ❜ ❛ just because you want something doesn’t give you the right to take it.  ❜ ❛ what the hell am i supposed to do ? ❜ ❛ you asked what it would take for me to walk out the door  — you knew the answer,  and you did it anyway.  ❜ ❛ what,  you can’t even handle a little blood ?  ❜ ❛ i thought you wanted to be me.  ❜ ❛ you didn’t think things all the way through,  it takes balls to do what i do.  ❜ ❛ you wanna be the king,  you gotta kill the king  —  this stuff’s medieval,  darling ❜ ❛ i ain’t gonna kill nobody. nah,  man  — you are.  ❜ ❛ so what you think  —   you got what it takes ?  ❜

[rackhamrogue]

(x)

[thatwasdark]

eilidhink‌:

“Cynical maybe, but am I wrong?” she teased with a smile that could have meant many different things or none of them at all. “What do women say about love? Maybe you should ask them. I dinnae bother with it, and I dinnae think I’m strange for that. Some of us talk about havin’ a love for the sea, or a ship, or freedom. Some of us just want a fuckin’ roof over our heads and somebody to fuck who doesnae use his fists. A woman fallin’ in love in this place? I’d feel sorry for her.”

Silver was watching her carefully, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. There was something about the way she spoke about love- something he’d never heard in anyone else, though he supposed he might never have listened. It wasn’t that he felt the same, or even that he felt differently; that wasn’t why it struck him. But it struck him nonetheless.

He chuckled, glancing around them at the hot beach, the piss-poor straw and wood huts, the stench and the noise and the clamor of bodies making their way up and down the sand. “Well. I suppose I’d feel sorry for her, too.” Something in his gut squirmed. “I can’t imagine any woman finding love in this place - but I do know a lot of men who like to insist that a woman can find love in them when she’s found it nowhere else.” He smiled, not all the way. “Mostly after they’ve just paid a girl to convince them of it.” 

[thatwasdark]

@metalzerotruck (from here)

“You gonna do this every time I ask you about your feelings?” Truck chuckled, quite willing to let himself be manhandled but not willing to let Silver completely change the subject.

Silver paused, his hands still curled in the front of Truck’s shirt. He shifted his weight to lean more on his good leg, tipping his head ever so slightly to look up at Truck through his eyelashes. “Well, seeing as you’re so curious about it,” he said slowly, starting to smile again, “My current feelings are that I’d like to be kissed. I don’t suppose you could help me with that?”

[spaceportfloozy]

“you shouldn’t like that character because they’re a terrible person”

look my guy i pulled this character right out of the dumpster fair and square and i’m keeping him