42 Seconds In Paradise

[danielkanhai]

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

[jazzcochina-deactivated20180807]

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teacher *while handing out 40 year old textbook*: wikipedia is very unreliable

[thatweirdharpist]

me @ my son: wolfgang, you were named not after one wolf but a whole gang of wolves,

[despazito]

aesthetic: the three headed rat queen from the russian nutcracker movie and her three headed rat son

[bergentruckung]

don’t ever talk to me or me or me or my son or my son or my son again

[vinegalore]

[derekkojinshit]

How I feel everytime I see one of these fucking coffee things on Facebook

[fruitofthetomb]

[onceiwashere]

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

[onceiwashere]

i guess i have to do all the work around here dont i

[madlori]

how is it that I have never seen this

please i beg you do yourselves a favor and watch cousin oskaar from iceland

[theupbeat-hart]

This is so much better than I was expecting. Holy shit.

[lightincubus]

[seedspit]

I HAD TO REBLOG THIS POST ENDED ME

[onlyblackgirl]

GOOD

BYE

[onlyblackgirl]

RIP VINE

[emraim]

[the-savior-and-the-pirate]

That moment in a musical when all the songs are mixed to make one giant reprise and you can’t decide which part you want to sing.

[thebreakfastlunchanddinnerclub]

[useless-swedenfacts]

Min kompis berättade att en gång i trean så ogillade en tjej i hennes klass en annan tjej skitmycket, så hon spred ett ryke om att tjej 2 var tuttifruttan och alla undvek henne i hela trean....

grinar

[justbadpuns]

What would the couple name of Jack and Rose from the “Titanic” be? It doesn’t matter, ‘cause their ship sank.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[spoclcers-archive]

[madlori]

I have decided that I will reblog this every time it comes across my dash because it makes me laugh until I think I’m going to puke.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]