The Incredibly Indian Advent Calendar

The joy of Christmas and India behind 24 Advent Calendar doors. What remains of the AdvEND Calendar since the world didn't explode back in December 2012.

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SYMPATHY PROTEST FOR GAZANS: Indian police detain activists protesting in front of the Israeli Embassy in New Delhi, India on Monday to denounce Israeli attacks on Gaza, which has killed at least 172 and wounded more than 1,270 Palestinians. (AP & AFP photos) (Source: Arab News)

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24th December

Enough of Bombay! Mumbai!

Let's talk about Delhi.

And the Delhi Photo Festival that happened back in autumn. This close to the big day, relax, and just look at some pretty photos.

Let's give cats on the internets a run for their money and let us all look at animals in zoos.

Because that's how we feel hunting down those presents - caged animals.

Happy holidays, kids!

I know I promised so much more on 1st December, so here you go: Click on Jerry Pinto, Modi, Jainism, and tumeric. No peacocks*.

Much love,

ACE

*The national bird of India

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23rd December

Jana Gana Mana

That's the title of the Indian anthem.

It sounds nice.

But, I don't expect to hear the Indian anthem when going to the cinema. Not really.

Cue: Awkward moment of this Advent. Gori girl goes to watch Catching Fire*. At 11:45 am**. On a Wednesday. Sits down. Waits for trailers. Then, the following words appear on the screen in front of her gori eyes: Please stand up for the national anthem. And so, everyone in the dark auditorium gets up and listens to a recording of Jana Gana Mana while the Indian flag bounces up and down the screen.

I don't mind the intervals/intermissions, but no, I wasn't prepaired for anthems.

Maybe it is my faint European heart but playing anthems and hoisting flags anywhere usually puts you in the more right-wing/fascist category of people I know. Playing the anthem before a film probably only happens at "this is not your but my country" kind of meetings. 

Indian opinion: The national anthem is something which unites us as a country. Playing it before a movie reminds us about this unity! Who all are free for Dhoom 3***?

Well, I don't see how playing the anthem before sitting down to watch a Hollywood film and gobble down half a kilo of popcorn evokes unity and pride in one's own country but, when in Rome do as the Romans do, right?

Now, the Slovene anthem talks about drinking wine and looks like a wine cup thanks to its carmen figuratum structure...there's something I can get behind.

*Don't ask.

**Just don't.

***Thanks, I'm good. No Dhoom 3 for me.

[the-advend-calendar-elf]

22nd December

Reading about Mumbai you learn about New York City.

The Portuguese princess Catherine of Braganza is the monarch commemorated in the name of the borough of Queens, NYC - perhaps.

It was in 1661 that the British Crown acquired the seven islands of Bombay as part of Charles II's marriage settlement to Catherine.

And that lasted until 1948...

[the-advend-calendar-elf]

21st December

Bombay duck. Duck.

You'd think it be something like Beijing duck.

But no. Bombay duck is not a duck. It's not even a bird. It's a fish.

A lizardfish.

Bummalo.

Fuck this. I'm having myself some Chinese bhel on the street.

PS: Indian Chinese food is something else. It's definitely nothing I'd ever come across in Xiamen, Hangzhou, or Datong... 好吃！

[the-advend-calendar-elf]

20th December

Why do you wish to retain the semen?

Best follow-up question to a very odd and strange question. Kudos to Dr Mahinder Watsa - the Sexpert.

Somebody needs to reread the Kama Sutra or watch Kama Sutra 3D.

[the-advend-calendar-elf]

19th December

Ladies and gentlemen,

you have 5 more shopping days. Salebration is upon us. So get going. I just really hope this word doesn't make it into the Oxford Dictionary next year. Talking about Oxford, to find the Oxford of the East, head straight to Pune, some hours east from Mumbai. Pune is also where Osho did his thing, oh yes.

Talking about getting a gift for your lady/hubby. Why, fuck the 99%, you my dear, deserve a golf course.

Yes, be that 1%... Reminds me of Naresh Fernandes' book City Adrift again. Did you know 48.5% of Bombay's population of 12.4 million now lives in shanties? Never mind. Think about that golf course.

[the-advend-calendar-elf]

18th December

The Ladies Finger, a lovely blog! Check it out. And lady's fingers, or plain old okra.

Shuffling those letters you get roka, which means hand in Slovene.

When you get married there's mehndi on your hands. It's a celebration.

Tourists with mehndis...I don't know, I outgrew my Henna/rebel phase when I was 13 I guess... "But mom, it's not like a tattoo...it comes off again."

Yep, definitely over it.

[the-advend-calendar-elf]

17th December

One more week to go and it's Christmas!

Also, there's a lot, a lot, of churches in Bandra.

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16th December

It's been a year. Since Delhi.

Bombay is different.

I go home by myself. At night. On foot. And nothing happens. But people say, "It is not safe. It is different here. You should not do that. You do not understand." I do. But if it were about being and staying safe I would never leave my room.

Anywhere.

I am probably even unsafe inside my room.

I do understand. But I am not the problem.

It's not me.

It is not.

Nirbhaya

[the-advend-calendar-elf]

15th December

Thespo wrapped up and Kabadi - Uncut deservedly took home most of the awards Sunday night.

The End.

Thespo 15 is dead. All hail Thespo 16!

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14th December

And then sometimes you get busy and you forget or don't have the time to open your Advent calendar.

But you never get lonely around here. Thanks to the Old Monk.

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13th December

Friday, 13th. It feels like that.

WS over.

Performance over.

And not enough sleep.

And I'm still not Spanish.

But there's Clerke and Joy.

So the weather forecast says it's going to be sunny. :)

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12th December

Why, why, why?

I just don't understand. So homosexuality is a criminal offence again?

Not good. Not good.

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11th December

A Poem for the Actors

You no longer look at me. Tmw you look at the audience. We’ve reached the winter stage of our WS. With the audience you get to feel young again, so, on that famous afternoon, in bustling Bombay, surprise them, tease them, and make them wet!

Make them come, make them come with you on a journey to a butchery in a part of Buenos Aires, make them smell the coffee at the Cafe Tortoni, make them recoil from the putrid air wafting from Borges’ grave, make them see the woman’s crestfallen face when Ramon no longer looks at her, her body, her breasts. Be the choir! Make them want to go to Disneyland AND the Prado, make them want to see Pluto, Plato, and some whores. Make them hungry for croquetas, for art, for life! Not for Zara or Adidas. Touch their muscles, and their hearts.

Make them come. But don’t let them leave without you. Make them and their mothers’ remember you.

We’ve talked for two weeks about what the pleasure of acting is, now enjoy your moment onstage.

Be ball-busting, be fierce, don’t hold back.

Don’t act.

Be.

On time.

There for each other.

And in costume.

Ready to have one of those shows you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Fuck yeah, that you can’t do Spanish theatre in India? I prefer to lose sleep over Borges, Ramon, and Goya, then over any other son of a bitch.

Can’t say we didn’t spend that time fucking, fucking well.

[the-advend-calendar-elf]

10th December

First official day of Thespo, the Youth Theatre Festival in Bombay!

Five days of drama ahead!

All Bombay’s a stage and all actors are under 25.

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9th December

Motherland Magazine deals with contemporary Indian culture and global trends and predicaments. The current issue of this Delhi-based publication  focuses on the topic of Borders.

Previous issues have featured articles on Mokshda - a NGO that tries to make cremation rituals more evironmentally friendly - and the town Mawlynnong in the state of Meghalaya, called the cleanest village in Asia.

Definitely going to broaden your horizon and its borders.