Sangunis Juramentum Archive & Art

The Official Blog of Sanguinis Juramentum on Ao3 Page run by Goose_Vamp (21yrs old)

[goosevampwritesstuff]

Welcome to my page!

I’m Goose, your local vampire simp, town honker, and enjoyer of things.

Before we get too far, this blog is 18+ only. If I find out anyone under the age of 18 is following me I’m sorry but you will immediately get blocked.

(full post under the cut!)

My blog tags!

#goosevampreadsstuff - stories I've read and enjoyed, either reblogged from here on tumblr or posted with a link to Ao3

#goosevampmakesart - my original artworks, mostly of my own characters but occasionally fanart as well

#goosevampshouldbewriting - writing prompts/ideas that I like, writing memes, author advice posts, etc.

#goosevamplikesart - other folks' art that I think is snazzy

#goosevamplikesmemes - self explanatory

My Works! (Goose Vamp Masterlist)

Sanguinis Juramentum - Chapter 1 - Goose_Vamp - Original Work [Archive of Our Own] - After your carriage crashes in the dead of night, you awaken to find yourself tied to a bed in the castle of an unknown man. He’s polite, and handsome, but something is off. Why tie you up if his intention really is just to care for you, as he says it is?

When Princess finds herself in a new world of magic and monsters she’d only ever heard of, she finds that there is much learn about both the world and herself that she had never before considered.

Status: Complete!!

The Singing Grotto - Chapter 1 - Goose_Vamp - Original Work [Archive of Our Own] - While sitting at the mouth of a grotto one night, Jonas has an unexpected audience for his nighttime musical performance. Who is the mysterious Dillan, and why is Jonas so intrigued by him?

Status: currently abandoned, incomplete. 1/3 chapters. Might revisit someday but unlikely.

Onyx Oculos - (Another book in the SJ Universe!) Lydia was never good at making friends. maybe that's why she gravitated towards him.

Status: Currently planning/writing bits and pieces when I have time.

Daisy the Queen - f/nb human x male eusocial insect-like alien(s). When mechanic Daisy's escape pod careens away from their exploding ship and the rest of their crew, they resign themself to dying in the cold expanse of space before they are rescued by a struggling colony of aliens. Can they help them regain their strength? And although Daisy will never see earth again, will they find a new family amongst the colony?

Status: In progress! 1/? Chapters

Velata Sicarus - Sequel to Sanguinis Juramentum

Verin and his new Queen are now happily married and beginning their reign together with a tour of Viralta. But a shadow seems to follow them to every destination, haunting their honeymoon and threatening their newfound life together. Will they find a way to preserve their happiness and their rule? Or will the presence lurking in the shadows cut their story short?

Status: Writing! Will update with an Ao3 link as soon as chapter one is ready to go up.

[devinellekurtz]

My very first tiger drawing and my latest

[formaldehydedoesstuff]

Your skill level is unquestionable but listen.

I love him.

[toasthaste-art]

me also. as well.

[devinellekurtz]

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.

[rowlfthedog]

[gumy-shark]

nothing scarier than being a fan of a fic and then becoming mutuals with the author. like hi shakespeare. big fan of your fake dating au

[pharmabastard]

do not keep putting those two unfunny autistic faggots on my dash

[to2llynottoby]

[pangur-and-grim]

I hope my spider fucking book will hold universal appeal

[pangur-and-grim]

[maimonideznuts]

The fact that geese manage to actually scare so many people is such an interesting example of the predator instinct to avoid a confident animal.

Because we are predators, and Geese are prey animals with hollow bones, no teeth, and no claws. What they do have are wings to make them look bigger and a fuck off attitude. That attitude works on most people apparently.

Just "I'm gonna getcha" and as a species we fall for it almost every time.

[gremlinwithakeyboard]

Yeah they don't have teeth but they do have serrated edges on their bills that can act like teeth. They also apparently have spines on their tongue.

Do Geese Have Teeth? (All You Need To Know)

Read about Do Geese Have Teeth? (All You Need To Know) on Birdfact.

An In-Depth Look At Goose Mouths - Berry Patch Farms

Geese are amazing waterfowl known for their unique mouths that have fascinated people for ages. If you're short on time, here's a quick answ

Probably still not much of a threat to adults, but they do have some tools to Get You with.

[kedreeva]

They do hit with their wings (which can really bruise), and they do absolutely have nails on those feet and they can cause damage with them.

But it's still funny that people are scared of them, because like... They're just not that big.

And "serrated" break is a bit of an exaggeration. It's ridged, there are bumps along the sides but they're made for grinding water plant stems, not chewing meat or anything. They have a pretty good pinch pressure, but of all the birds I've been bitten by, geese aren't high on the list of a threat.

But humans, as predators, want to avoid being hurt *at all.* Because an injury means not being able to hunt and not being able to hunt means potentially starving to death.

But geese are so so so easy to not get hurt by, and that's why it's funny.

[theeyesinthenight]

so what i'm HEARING is that i could disrupt the social order of a group of people I was in by charging the goose right back bc it objectively doens't hurt that bad?

[kedreeva]

I mean. You could if you're an asshole.

The best way to not get hurt by geese is to leave them alone and respect that they're living things that don't want to be messed with.

But they're also exceptionally easy to befriend, if you're not an asshole to them. The problem is most people don't know how to not be an asshole to geese. Therein lies the rub.

[kedreeva]

#many of the replies on this post were#very clearly written by a person who has never been chased by geese (via @itischeese)

You are 100% right, I have never been chased by a goose, not once in 41 years, because I wouldn't run from a fucking goose, and it cannot chase you if you don't run.

Geese are literally just animals. Here is me with one of my friend's geese many years ago.

They are not evil, they are not mean, they are not out to get you. They are animals. They are prey animals. They are defensive of their territory, their nests (because how would you like it if a giant invaded your nursery to look at your sleeping baby?? would you be super nice about it?? Would you gracefully and peacefully handle just Some Guy you don't know coming into your nursery against your will to look at and pick up your screaming kid?? like it's not even unreasonable behavior, people are just mad because it's an animal and they have weird beliefs about animals all having to allow human interaction), and their mates.

but they are literally just animals.

I would never be chased by a goose, because I don't run, but also because I leave them alone. And the few times I have had to interact, I was polite and they responded in kind.

A mated pair with 8 goslings in the narrow road I needed get down? PRIME candidates for being the "mean goose" everyone claims exists.

Yet, they moved politely out of the road when I got out and shooed them to the side, and they brought their muppet kids over to say hello when I greeted them properly. I gave them a few goose-safe treats and went on my way. No chasing, no attacking, no biting. One of the parents hissed a few times, but still bowed back when I bowed first.

I saw a lone goose in an Aldi parking lot earlier this year, and I brought over a cup of water and set it down, then backed away. It kept its distance while I was setting the cup down, but waddled right over to drink once I backed off. Didn't hiss once. Didn't chase me. Didn't try to get me.

Like, it's literally so easy to not be hurt by geese. I'm not talking out my ass; I've interacted with or been near so many geese and I've NEVER seen an actually aggressive one- only geese being harassed by humans into a provoked reaction.

I'm sorry to the people who got chased by one as a four year old or whatever and never recovered, but that's a you and/or your parents problem for bothering or allowing you to bother wild animals. Calling geese evil and nasty and mean because your parents allowed you to act inappropriately around animals as a toddler is an anthropomorphization that continues a cycle of wildlife harassment, because people feel justified in harassing "bad" animals.

And acting like I (or others) only think geese are not mean because I've never been chased by one is an excellent example of having fallen for their defensive mechanisms, as well as an excellent example of the attitude people have about geese that leads to people harassing and consequently getting attacked by geese.

So again..... leave them alone. You'll find them a lot more pleasant, and they'll like you a lot more.

[clothos-thread]

I love this conversation, may I add to the similar effect, cats !

For anyone wondering, I'm mainly referring to interactions between cats and big predatory animals for the most part. Although I suppose it can happen with people too, some people are scared of cats as well after all.

There are many videos of cats swating dogs twice their size, cows and even bears! With many of said animals choosing to back off. Perhaps it's the fact they tend to lack a prey response in those footages.

(this comes from an actual video of a cat chasing off a bear)

[maimonideznuts]

Predators can't afford to incur an injury, a bear with a broken leg can't get meal delivery until it heals... They just starve or die of infection, and they/we react to that confidence with the assumption that the animal has the ability to do an equivalent amount of injury.

The house cat can't kill a bear, but the bear doesn't have the luxury of testing that.

-

Be nice to small animals that bluff as a way to protect themselves, give them appropriate respect and the space they're asking for.

[busty-shackleford]

When I worked at a veterinary rehab clinic, I had to help the vet catch a goose that was hit by a car. Her leg was mangled but she could still fly.

Well the vet failed to catch the goose with a blanket and she flew towards me and I caught her like a giant football and she got a wing loose and the elbow joint of a goose is strong as hell, she busted my lip open and broke my glasses

Anyway we had to treat her wounds and tube feed her medication to keep her comfortable and she’d bite and pinch the fuck out of us.

One day post medicating when I ate lunch in the exam room we kept her in I was putting notes in her file and she calmly sauntered over to see what I was eating. It was a Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich. I broke a piece off to toss to her as a peace offering since she hated the food the vet was giving her, and I felt bad about it.

Well she LOVED IT. A LOT. So much that she willingly sat in my lap and let me medicate her with the promise of another bite the next day. She stopped fighting me completely. However she continued to kick everyone else’s ass lmao

All I had to do was be calm and offer her a bite of something I had and she was cool with me ever since. Even a pissed off captive injured goose can understand kindness.

[crucifiedeye]

This was parked in front of the club

[rainonjun]

What the FUCK

I am Indian. I live in India. I see people with tattoos, profile pictures, stickers, accessories, etc. depicting various hindu gods and their symbols all the time.

I've never seen a ride pimped out like this. Maybe a sticker or two here n there, sure. But this is on another level. Where even is this?

Pretty sure that's Kali.

[stovetop00-deactivated20230907]

We’re winning.

[lilnasxvevo]

I found his bio on societyofpresidentialdescendants.org and it was so delightful I had to copy paste the whole thing:

“Ulysses Grant Dietz grew up in Syracuse, New York, where his Leave it to Beaver life was enlivened by his fascination with vampires, from Bela Lugosi to Barnabas Collins. He studied French at Yale (BA, 1977), and was trained to be a museum curator in the University of Delaware’s Winterthur Program in American Material Culture (MA, 1980). A decorative arts curator at the Newark Museum for thirty-seven years before he retired, Ulysses has never stopped writing for the sheer pleasure of it. Aside from books on Victorian furniture, art pottery, studio ceramics, jewelry, and the White House, Ulysses created the character of Desmond Beckwith in 1988 as his personal response to Anne Rice’s landmark novels. Alyson Books released his first novel, Desmond, in 1998. Vampire in Suburbia, the sequel, appeared in 2012. His most recent novel, Cliffhanger, was released by JMS Books in December 2020.

“Ulysses lives in suburban New Jersey with his husband of 45 years. They have two grown children, adopted in 1996.

“Ulysses is a great-great grandson of Ulysses S. Grant. His late mother, Julia, was the President’s last living great-grandchild; youngest daughter of Ulysses S. Grant III, and granddaughter of the president’s eldest son, Frederick. Every year on April 27 he gives a speech at Grant’s Tomb in New York City. He is also on the board of the U.S. Grant Presidential Library and Museum at Mississippi State University.”

[wakingfromthewater]

And frankly, the novels sound like they slap:

Desmond was nominated for a Lambda Award.

[doctorscienceknowsfandom]

“With his husband of 45 years.” You kids don’t know ... they got together before AIDS, at the peak of the Gay Glam Life. They stayed together as their generation died around them, and made through it to the point where they could marry and have a legal family. He looks like a chipper preppie who never had a serious thought or care in the world, but it took *incredible* determination, commitment, and also luck to get here.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

having now read the first of this man's vampire books, you can absolutely tell that he cares a lot about historical furniture because oh my god he really wanted to tell us about all the historical furniture in this vampire's house. material culture as foreplay. seduction via theses about chairs

[spicymancer]

Dungeon Mastery

[teashoesandhair]

Dear everyone who is currently working on a Thing, whatever that Thing may be,

Good luck with the Thing. You can do the Thing. You will do the Thing. You just have to do the Thing.

Best wishes,

Someone who is also doing a Thing

[tomhardysurinal]

I have never wanted to open a spam email so badly

[sioltach]

watching a video on brewing Mesopotamian beer and look at this orange man (his ass cannot guard the barley)

[loth-catgirl]

[alex51324]

slander! Did any potentates steal the barley on his watch????

They did not.

[celephaisdreamer]

Those barley stealing potentates

[angryartist113]

“Is This Healthy” is a comic that I made for an independent study in which I looked deeper into the idea of health, mental, physical, and emotional as it relates to myself.

This project was extremely personal and I thank any of you who take the time to read it

[fandomsandfeminism]

It is so hard to unlearn fat-shaming rhetoric, and it takes a lot of strength and vulnerability to even try. <3

[were-writes]

Will humanity ever be free of the influence of Edna Mode? Can any of us so much as consider the character design for a hero or villain without her manifesting in the room, fully aware of our sins?

[were-writes]

You know what, another layer of difficulty is when you’re thinking about villains, and the wise words of Megamind come into your head. You don’t just want your child to be just a regular villain. But how do you make your villain a Supervillain with no cape? Where is the drama? But Edna says no capes, you must deny them the flair. It is impossible to please them both, and it’s tearing this family apart.

[sci-the-superb]

you. you get it.

(tags via @jeremiahsmysteriosotouch)

[deadblogdontlook]

Counteroffer: Big dramatic cloak to protect your identity that you drop on the floor before every fight

[krshush]

#there are two wolves inside you #one is edna mode #the other is megamind  (@remnantofahero) 

[silver-tongues-blog]

I can’t believe the compromise is Obi-Wan Kenobi

[marlynnofmany]

“No capes!”

“Game on, then.”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay, but I love that Gandalf is just dropping his cloak to reveal another, slightly smaller cloak underneath it.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[butchfagminotaur]

the sims will never not be one of the funniest games on the planet

[greelin]

you have to understand that my body does not work by default. “ohhh so many medications means so many chemicals inside you. i could never” well if i did not take these things i would not be able to function. i respect and have made peace with the chemical. Get out of my face

[greelin]

some scientist worked really REALLY hard on formulating this. i have to inject it otherwise i’ll hurt their feelings. It’s impolite

[hollowedskin]

Listen Barbara but your body already HAS the Chemicals I need. When I take my meds I have increased the amount of Chemicals to the Normal Amount, the amount that you have by default. The reason it's a disease is because not having the Normal Amount of Chemicals makes things stop working. Not everyone can make their own, Barbara. Some people need store bought, Barbara.

[electricpentacle]

Either I take these pills or I extract the chemicals from you, Barbara. Do you want to be put in the Chemical Extracting Apparatus, Barbara?