Bi, Fly, and Living a Lie

What lie? Well, almost everyone thinks I'm a hetrosexual human

[catbowserauthor]

If I had to pick one quote that really spoke to me as a writer, it’s this one. Not just on the limitless potential that creativity gives us but also on the power that inspiring hope and dreams, even if it seems small, has.

Incidentally I have had multiple clients tell me that the Nothing reminds them of depression so there’s that connection as well. For those of you who have read the book, it’s said that anything that passes through the Nothing emerges as a lie and to quote one of clients: “that’s what depression does. It lies to you,”

[the-bisexual-vampire]

I may have written this before but it bears repeating

(TW suicide)

It does get better.

At 17, I planned out my suicide. I never followed through. God sent me a reminder of His love that very night. That’s not to say everything got better right then, not even close, but it gave me enough hope to hold on a little longer.

Since then my mental health has been an absolute rollercoaster. There have been times I’ve felt almost healthy, and times I’ve spiraled to the point where I’ve wondered if this would be the last straw, if this would be the point where I broke enough to attempt. I haven’t yet. 

In the last few months I felt as though a chapter were closing in my life. My mental health is still stormy, but I have a will to live, and I didn’t have that for years. 

I still think about death almost daily, and I almost flippantly contemplate plans (I found out at one point that my plan wouldn’t have worked, and for some reason my brain likes tossing ideas around hypothetically), but thing are getting better. I have hope. I’ve learned some of my triggers and how to defend myself (mostly in theory, not very good at it yet).

I’m hoping to finally get some professional help soon. I haven’t had any yet (with the exception of texting @thetrevorproject hotline once near the beginning of COVID).

If you’re contemplating suicide today, please hold on, just a little longer.

[scripture]

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven

Matthew 5:43-45 (via scripture)

I am not good at this. At all.

[scripture]

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13 (NIV)

[cutpriceguignol-deactivated2022]

Solidarity to all my GNC people who have to deal with the same dumb questions that we do

[wardrobe-warrior]

LGBTQ+ Revengers Assemble

I know the term Gay Avenger has been used, so I’m calling out for LGBTQ+ Revengers (Ragnarok Reference).

If you’re LGBTQ+ or an ally and you want to be a Revenger, please reblog and say what people can tag you for help with, and why you’re a good person to ask for help with that given situation.

Here’s mine:

If you’ve got a Karen or Chad on your blog spewing anti-lgbtq+ Christianese, tag me, please. I am quite willing to have little chat with them.

I speak fluid Christianese.

My Christianese Credentials:

Made it to Bible Quizzing Internationals twice

Was a Bible Quizzer for over three years, then was both a coach and an official after aging out.

Competed in Bible Bee several years.

Homeschooled 1st grade through Senior year.

Both my parents have been in church leadership at one point or another.

I work for a Christian Organization.

I am that person who knows when the pastor messes up the scripture.

I am also the person who will call out my Sunday School teacher’s faulty theology.

When doing  Revenger things please use #lgbtq+revengersassemble. And if you aren’t sure which Revenger to tag, or even if you do know, please use the hashtag.

Even if you’re not looking to become a Revenger please spread this around.

Feel free to repost on other sights, I’d prefer you stuck to reblogs on this site though.

Note: Revengers should not be looking for revenge (despite the name) they should be trying to help people when they need it.

[trescuadrasdecasa]

am i actually ill or am i just faking it because im an attention seeker

a novel by me

[spacepotatoman-deactivated20231]

I wish I could explain to people what it's like inside my head and how hard I find life.

I'm spread so thin.

[alistairradley]

You didn’t find Jesus, He found you. He wasn’t lost, you were.

Matt Chandler (via alistairradley)

[hotgrrlbummer]

[genderqueerpositivity]

(Image description: a rainbow holographic background, yellow text inside a black border says “I’m the gay cousin”. End image description.)

[charlesoberonn]

Depending on how homophobic your family is, the gay cousin can either grow into the gay aunt or uncle, or the cousin who doesn’t show up to family holidays anymore.

[the-bisexual-vampire]

I’ll probably be the latter.

[aesapphiic]

You know how in vampire diaries when someone turns into a vampire they start to remember everything they were compelled to forget? Well, i feel like thats how it is for me after finally accepting I was gay. Moments in my life are coming back that makes it just so very obvious..

When I was probably around 11, I was at my best friends house (were I spent a lot of my time back then) I remember her cousin came over every now and then, and she had the most beautiful eyes. I alwayys wanted to hang out with her when she came over.. but one of those times i remember i actually mentioned it out loud, and my best friend (being the mini mean girl she was then) said something like “yeah her eyes are pretty but you don’t like her right? That would be weird and ew.” And i feel like that’s when i convinced myself that those thoughts were wrong and i shouldn’t feel that way, which led me to believe i was wrong. So the next time I felt like that, i kept my mouth shut.

There are many of this kinds of conversations coming back and I really hate how as a little girl a felt that way, and deep inside i kinda still do.. all of which i am working on everyday.

[blueraspberrystudent]

If this isn’t one of the most common thoughts when you’re still in the closet what is

[blowout1981]

yeah :)

[pitchblackgoatherder-deactivate]

Vampire Pride Posters! Or something… Free for everyone but please don’t steal! I am totally open to making more (and am working on a few). Tell me what flags you would like to see and I’ll do my best to make one for you!

I made an alterintive Lesbian poster due to the contoversial nature of the original flag. Thank you for alearting me @autarkiss !

[madame-cissy-deactivated2016013]