The Cat Diaries

I am not a cat who signs into my human’s tumblr account when she’s sleeping. Don’t worry about it.

[the-cat-diaries]

This is a sign from the universe that we should all lay in a sunbeam. Not together, get your own spot.

[the-cat-diaries]

“Cats are an invasive species” is a downright wild sentence for a human being to utter.

[phantomrose96]

If you are a PET trying to help your HUMAN just remember the acronym WAY

Are you in the Way?

Are you in the wAy?

Are you in the waY?

If the answer to all three is YES then you are HELPING 👏👏👏

[the-cat-diaries]

Humans aren’t born with tails. In fact, (trigger warning) they never grow tails of their own at all. It is very sad. For them.

[the-cat-diaries]

[the-cat-diaries]

I have decided to become very annoying. So far it’s going really well for me.

[the-cat-diaries]

Humans do not sleep enough (that’s why they look like that). Force them to rest by sitting on them.

They will come up with excuses like:

I’m on a call

I have to pee

I can’t reach my phone / the remote.

I’m trying to cook

DO NOT FALL FOR IT.

[dailycatsblog]

[the-cat-diaries]

Praising, the proper behavior for all humans toward their cats. I approve.

[only-cat-memes]

[the-cat-diaries]

Unless I am sitting on you. Or I change my mind.

Honestly what’s so difficult about grasping this concept simple humans?

[byjove]

SOMEONE (not naming names or throwing around unfounded accusations) chewed open the bag of cat treats and ate many of them. Though I have no proof because the act was committed in the dead of night with no known witnesses, I have a prime suspect…

[the-cat-diaries]

I too suspect the dog.

[the-cat-diaries]

The red dot could be under any thing at any time. Be vigilant.

[striders]

cat can:

snuggle

biting you

eat food AND plastic

so scared of car sounds

locate Bug

Make sounds

[the-cat-diaries]

The butter is out on the counter for you, otherwise the humans would hide it away in their cold cabinet. This is a fact.

[geddyqueer]

there is this thing called a "kitty cat". and you can get one for inside your home, and it will sit on all of your surfaces, and you can pet it.

[the-cat-diaries]

You’re welcome world.

[the-cat-diaries]

If you don’t sit on your human’s chest in the morning they may never wake up. This is a fact.

[the-cat-diaries]

How was I supposed to know you wanted the water to stay in the glass?

[the-cat-diaries]

Humans have captured the sun and control mini versions of it through switches. Yet they insist I cant eat when I wake them at 4am because “it’s still dark out” as if they don’t constantly turn their mini suns on while I’m sleeping.