Actually life is about chilling barefoot with your cat under an apple tree while eating cheese

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Claire Keane
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@the-core-of
Actually life is about chilling barefoot with your cat under an apple tree while eating cheese
Hmmmmm now whoooooo does THAT sound like?????
Book 1
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, cauldron, and top-of-the-range Nimbus 2000 broomstick had be
Book 3
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets · 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes
Book 4
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Reblog by @the-core-of · Books 1 and 2 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, c
Book 5
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Order of the Phoenix part 2 · "'Snape?' said Harry blankly. 'Professor Snape, dear,' said Mrs. Weaseley reprovingly." It's
Book 6
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Half-Blood Prince part 2 · "'Percy definitely not showing his ugly face, then?' asked Fred. Mrs. Weaseley turned away befor
The Deathly Hallows part 1
There are 36 chapters plus one Epilogue in this book and it takes 29 to get to Hogwarts.
I like it when the books don't start with Harry but it's funny that only 3 of the 7 books actually do. PS starts with the Dursleys, CoS and PoA start with Harry, GoF starts with the Riddle House, OotP starts with Harry, HBP starts with the Ministers, and DH starts with the Death Eater meeting.
"The high hedge curved with them, running off into the distance beyond the pair of impressive wrought-iron gates barring the men's way. Neither of them broke step: In silence both raised their left arms in a kind of salute and passed straight through, as though the dark metal were smoke." That's some pretty cool magic and honestly perfect security for a cult matching magical ink.
But can you imagine thinking a gate has that spell on it but it's just a normal gate so you walk right into it? Good luck being a cool bad guy after that embarrassment. Ha!
"Gravel crackled beneath their feet as Snape and Yaxley sped toward the front door..." Idk I don't think gravel really suits the Malfoy's or Malfoy Manor. You'd think they'd have something nicer lining their paths like cobble.
"'There have been too many mistakes where Harry Potter is concerned. Some of them have been my own.'" A-alot... alot of them have been your mistakes, Lord Thingy.
"...its[Nagini's] eyes, with their vertical slits for pupils, unblinking." Now she gets it, six books later.
"Bellatrix leaned toward Voldemort, for mere words could not demonstrate her longing for closeness." Back off, sister, if anyone's gonna 'slither in' his bed, it'll be me.
"'I'm talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa. She has married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud.'" Daaaamn Lord Thingy knows exactly how to push THEIR buttons. With the 'you must be so proud'.
"'What say you, Draco,' asked Voldemort, and though his voice was quiet, it carried clearly through the catcalls and jeers. 'Will you babysit the cubs?'" Oh my GOD! I need more of THIS Voldemort. I need more Voldemort the bully. He's so cunty.
"'Many of our oldest family trees become diseased over time. You must prune yours, must you not, to keep it healthy. Cut away those parts that threaten the health of the rest.'" Well SOMEBODY was paying attention in Herbology.
"There was a crunch of breaking china: He[Harry] had trodden on a cup of cold tea that had been sitting on the floor outside his bedroom door." Despite being British, I like to believe that that was Dudley's first time actually making a cup of tea, y'know, being spoiled rotten, Petunia always would've made everything for him from his bed to his tea. Bit amusing to imagine Dudley trying to come up with a gesture for Harry but realizing he has no idea what Harry likes that doesn't have to do with magic or the wizarding world before Dudley's like "...tea... yeah. Everybody likes a cup of tea... now how do I do that?"
"He had never learned to repair wounds, and now he came to think of it - particularly in light of his immediate plans - this seemed a serious flaw in his magical education." And one of MANY.
"I met Albus Dumbledore at the age of eleven, on our first day at Hogwarts. Our mutual attraction was undoubtedly due to the fact that we both felt ourselves outsiders." Ah, so Grindelwald wasn't the first.
"Being outshone was an occupational hazard of being his friend and cannot have been any more pleasurable as a brother." That is a great way to put it lol.
"Skeeter was certainly quick on the mark. Her nine-hundred-page book was completed a mere four weeks after Dumbledore's mysterious death." 900 pages in 4 weeks??? That's 225 pages per week, 32 pages a day! If she worked 8 hours a day, that'd be 4 pages an hour. On a really good day I can maybe write 4 pages in 1 day.
"He glanced over his shoulder, but the wall was a sickly peach color of Aunt Petunia's choosing." Oh no there's a room in my house with walls a sickly peach color!
Hmm the narrator in this book keeps referring to Vernon as "Vernon Dursley" as opposed to "Uncle Vernon" like in all the previous books.
"'House prices are skyrocketing around here! You want us out of the way and then you're going to do a bit of hocus-pocus and before we know it the deeds will be in your name and-'" In THIS economy, Harry will regret not doing that.
"'You claim,' said Uncle Vernon, starting to pace yet again, 'that this Lord Thing-'" Omg no way! Of course Vernon calls him Lord Thing, too!
"'Even the fogs - they're caused by dementors, and if you can't remember what they are, ask your son!'" Ohhhhhh!
"'Dad,' said Dudley in a loud voice, 'Dad - I'm going with these Order people.' 'Dudley,' said Harry, 'for the first time in your life, you're talking sense.'" Probably because its the first time he's articulating his own thoughts rather than what his parents and 'friends' have fed into his head.
"...then poked a couple of owl nuts through the bars of Hedwig's cage." Tf is an owl nut?
"'See you, Harry.'" I mean Dudley has no memory of Harry not living there and being part of his family. They go to different schools the rest of the year but when Dudley comes home for the summer, Harry's always there, even if only for a month or a fortnight. I don't think Dudley can even comprehend the idea of never seeing Harry again.
"She[Petunia] stopped and looked back. For a moment Harry had the strangest feeling that she wanted to say something to him. She gave an odd tremulous look and seemed to teeter on the edge of speech, but then, with a little jerk of her head, she bustled out of the room after her husband and son." Yeah I just realized the other day that Harry being left on their doorstep was HOW she found out her sister was dead. In fact, the moment she saw the baby there, and saw that he had Lily's green eyes, she probably immediately knew what it meant before she even read Dumbledore's note. I wonder if that's HER true reason for hating Harry: him being there was a constant reminder of the loss of her one and only sister. But that's just a theory...
It's interesting that Harry Potter is known, to the real world, for sleeping under the stairs despite only doing so for such a small section of the franchise. Up to 10 years of his life, sure, but only for two chapters of the actual story.
But I like that Harry does go visit it one last time before leaving Privet Drive. It's definitely something most of us would do despite the horrendous nature of the experience: looking back on where he started, reflecting on how far he's come.
"'You got married?' Harry yelped, looking from her to Lupin." They weren't even together less than a month ago and now they're married. God I hate this plot so fucking much. I don't hate Teddy Lupin as a character, just the reason he exists. And I certainly don't hate Lupin or Tonks or even Lupin and Tonks as a couple, heck they COULD'VE been my favorite couple if they'd been done right and put together for the right reason.
Okay so the Trace detects magic used by or around anyone under 17. But, as we know from the last book, does not detect the caster of the magic.
"'So, we've given a dozen different houses every protection we can throw at them. They all look like they could be the place we're going to hide you, they've all got connection with the Order: my[Moody's] house, Kingsley's place, Molly's Aunt Muriel's.'" I mean, between Snape, Wormtail, and the Malfoy's, I don't think Lord Thingy can be fooled about where Harry's going to stay. They ALL know Harry has spent every other summer at the Burrow until now, it's the place filled with people who know him and like him best, AND there's a wedding coming up AT the Burrow. Why would Harry stay anywhere other than the Burrow?
"'This is different, pretending to be me-' 'Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry,' said Fred earnestly. 'Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever.'" Ah yes, perfect way to give Harry some perspective. What's worse than dying for him? Why, getting stuck in his twink body, of course.
"'Our only chance is to use decoys. Even You-Know-Who can't split himself into seven.'" Oh....... really?????????
"'Miss Granger with Kingsley...'" Damn how did she get Prime Minister level protection? I'd get it if she was going as Hermione the Muggle-born but she's going as one of 7 Harry's.
"Hermione had already been helped up onto a great black thestral by Kingsley." Can Hermione, or Ron, Fred, or George, even see thestrals yet? They weren't in the room when Sirius died and I don't recall any of them actually witnessing a death so far.
"A second's relief, and then another burst of green light. The owl screeched and fell to the floor of the cage." Yeah, Hedwig is probably the most unexpected death. They only left Privet Drive 69 seconds ago and boom! lights out for her. Didn't even get to leave her cage.
"...and the remaining Death Eater shot a curse so close to Harry that he had to duck below the rim of the car, knocking out a tooth on the edge of his seat." Just drink some milk.
Harry mistaking Andromeda for Bellatrix makes me realize he hasn't actually seen her since she killed Sirius. I also wonder if anyone else has made the same mistake. Y'know, like right after the breakouts, people would basically be seeking Bellatrix and the others, see Andromeda... you get the idea.
Ah, so Ted at least calls her 'Dromeda.
"'Haven't go' any brandy, have yeh, Molly?' asked Hagrid a little shakily. 'Fer medicinal purposes?'" Mmm yes... medicinal purposes.
I don't think Harry has ever been more defendant of an individual that wasn't Dumbledore, his parents, or his besties than he is of Stan Shunpike. You mess with Shunpike and Harry Potter will make an enemy out of you.
"'The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?' ''Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him,'' said Lupin calmly." Hmmmm right after yelling at Harry for his judgment to use Expelliarmus... a sign, perhaps?
"'Snape's work,' said Lupin. 'Snape?' shouted Harry. 'You didn't say-' 'He lost his hood during the chase. Sectumsempra was always a specialty of Snape's.'" Wait, the Maurauders know about Sectumsempra and they at least know Snape uses it a lot? That's right, he used it on James in his worst memory. But they didn't know the name Half-Blood Prince and they didn't know Snape was the inventor of Levicorpus or where it came from. This is just... idk... they know some stuff but not all of it but...
"'Now, Ron, have you cleaned out your room yet?' 'Why?' exclaimed Ron, slamming his spoon down and glaring at his mother. 'Why does my room have to be cleaned out? Harry and I are fine with it the way it is!' 'We are holding your brother's wedding here in a few days' time, young man-' 'And are they getting married in my bedroom?' asked Ron furiously." Ahhhh classic.
Gee, I remembered about Mad-Eye dying but I didn't remember his body isn't recovered. That makes Umbridge having his eye later even more fucked up because it means she got to it first and didn't tell anyone, or she maybe Accio'd it.
"'Of course,' said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. 'I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library.'" Did... did Ron actually just say Voldemort? Without even realizing? Without anybody realizing or acknowledging? Ron's never said his name before.
You can undo a Horcrux just by....... being remorseful? Just by..... feeling really bad? No other step and the pain of it can destroy you. Huh... idk how I feel about that. Feel like there should or would at least be another step.
"'While the magical container is still intact, the bit of soul inside it can flit in and out of someone if they get too close to the object. I don't mean holding it for too long, it's nothing to do with touching it. I mean close emotionally. Ginny poured her heart out into that diary, she made herself incredibly vulnerable. You're in trouble if you get too fond of or dependent on the Horcrux.'" Just making a note of this for fanfiction purposes...
"Harry seized the wand lying beside his camp bed, pointed it at the cluttered desk where he had left his glasses, and said, 'Accio Glasses!'" I used to set my glasses down in random spots without thinking and then couldn't find them. Accio glasses would've saved me hours of searching.
Also, the first spell Harry Potter performs as an adult wizard. Simple but fitting.
"'Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches. Explains everything you need to know about girls... You'd be surprised, it's not all about wandwork, either.'" Is THAT what they call it in the wizarding world? 🤣
Also, Ron, THAT'S the book you give the guy who's kinda sorta dating your sister?? Hmmm.
"'It's traditional to give a wizard a watch when he comes of age,' said Mrs. Weaseley." Ah, that's what I thought. Wonder if Dumbledore's is the same one he's had since he was 17.
"'Harry, will you come in here a moment?' It was Ginny. Ron came to an abrupt halt, but Hermione took him by the elbow and tugged him on up the stairs." 🤣🤣🤣
"She was not tearful; that was one of the many wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy." I mean, ig we all have our preferences but, like, poor Cho. She had a pretty good reason to be weepy even if crying made Harry uncomfortable.
"...watching Mrs. Weaseley force Charlie into a chair, raise her wand threateningly, and announce that he was about to get a proper haircut." NooooOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
"...said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred." Well, since you're handing them out...
"Harry flicked his wand at the oil lamps as he entered and they illuminated the shabby but cozy room." What exactly is the point of the Deluminator if this basic magic exists? I mean why is it more special than this spell and the counter-spell that presumably exists? Other than the whole ball of light that brings Ron back to the others of course.
I mean my best guess is if you put out a light with the Deluminator, only the Deluminator can put it back but even that doesn't sound that brilliant.
"'It belongs to Harry!' said Hermione hotly. 'It chose him, he was the one who found it, it came to him out of the Sorting Hat-' 'According to reliable historical sources, the sword may present itself to any worthy Gryffindor,' said Scrimgeour." You'd think Hermione would've known that.
"'You may wear that scar like a crown, Potter, but it is not up to a seventeen-year-old boy to tell me how to do my job! It's time you learned some respect!' 'It's time you earned it,' said Harry." OHHHHHHHHHHH! Did Harry just "Ok Boomer" the fucking Minister? Legend!
Lol everyone at Harry's birthday dinner gets to check out the three items Dumbles left the trio. Imagine Hagrid holding the Snitch like a pea up to his eye and the Delecours trying not to grimace at the old copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard.
"A host of white-robed waiters had arrived an hour earlier, along with a golden-jacketed band, and all of these wizards were currently sitting a short distance away under a tree; Harry could see a blue haze of pipe smoke issuing from the spot." Oh you know that's where the REAL party is.
"'Excellent, I think I see a few veela cousins,' said George, craning his neck for a better look. 'They'll need help understanding our English customs, I'll look after them...' 'Not so fast, Your Holeyness,' said Fred, and darting past the gaggle of middle-aged witches heading the procession, he said, 'Here - permettez moi to assister vous,' to a pair of pretty French girls." Those lucky filles.
"'Xenophilius Lovegood,'" And here we see the peak of JKR's 'ingenious' on-the-nose character naming with a name that means 'Love of the Strange'. But I believe the literal translation of his name would be 'Strangelove Lovegood'.
"'Talking about Muriel?' Inquired George, reemerging from the marquee with Fred. 'Yeah, she's just told me my ears are lopsided. Old bat.'" Yeah no SHIT, Muriel!
I'm surprised Madam Maxime isn't at the wedding.
Krum's English seems to have gotten, like, a lot better in the last few years.
But I totally forgot the Deathly Hallows' symbol was Grindelwald's symbol. Makes sense of course though.
"'Vot,' he said, draining his goblet and getting to his feet again, 'is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?'" 🤣 That is a damn good question! At least he's not the type to go for a girl he knows is taken.
"He[Harry] had never been to a wedding before..." Yeahhh I didn't attend a wedding until I was 21.
"'Now, if Kendra hadn't died first,' Muriel resumed, 'I'd have said that it was she who finished off Ariana-' 'How can you, Muriel?' groaned Doge. 'A mother kill her own daughter? Think what you're saying!'" Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you'd be surprised.
"'Draco, give Rowle another taste of our displeasure... Do it, or feel my wrath yourself!'" Lord Thingy would've made such a GREAT dad.
"Could Dumbledore have let such things happen? Had he been like Dudley, content to watch neglect and abuse as long as it did not affect him? Could he have turned his back on a sister who was being imprisoned and hidden?" Wow... I know Aberforth clears up a lot about the Dumbledores and everything later but I can't remember most of the details (Albus can't be that terrible if Harry names his son after him). But to compare him to Dudley like that is really... wow.
"Had Dumbledore actually cared about Harry at all? Or had Harry been nothing more than a tool to be polished and honed, but not trusted, never confided in?" Ooh, Harry, about that...
"There were many pictures of Muggle motorcycles, and also (Harry had to admire Sirius's nerve) several posters of bikini-clad Muggle girls." This is the only thing out of the books, that I can recall, that points to Sirius not being gay. But bi or in the broom closet is not out of the question.
"You know it only rises about two feet off the ground, but he nearly killed the cat and he smashed a horrible vase Petunia sent me for Christmas (no complaints there)." Ohhhh, now THAT'S interesting. Petunia WAS in contact with her sister after getting married, even sending her Christmas gifts. Perhaps out of social obligation enforced by their parents but still. And she got her a vase. A VASE! Even if the vase wasn't in Lily's taste, a vase is still a pretty classy item to gift someone you're estranged from. She could've sent her nothing or a tissue and a toothpick.
Omg Lily calls Wormtail 'Wormy'. That's adorable.
"'Ron! I've found him!' Ron's annoyed voice echoed distantly from several floors below. 'Good! Tell him from me he's a git!'" 🤣🤣🤣 Oh you can't fake that kind of Weaseley charm.
"The Black family crest was painstakingly painted over the bed, along with its motto, TOUJOURS PUR." Apparently that's 'always pure'. I don't reckon the Blacks were the most creative.
"'Back in my Mistress's old house with the blood-traitor Weaseley and the Mudblood-' 'I forbid you to call anyone 'blood traitor' or 'Mudblood',' growled Harry." I mean I get it, they're slurs, but, from a house elf's master, that's VERY forced censorship. I'm not saying Harry's wrong to do it but i do feel the need to point it out.
"'...and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord.'" And yet everyone was questioning Harry for thinking Lord Thingy would recruit Draco because he was 16? Either nobody, including Arthur and the Order, knew that Regulus was a Death Eater at 16 or they all stupid.
Regulus heard Lord Thingy treated his House Elf like a lab monkey and said 'Aw hellllll nawwww dawg not on my watch!'
"'They're staking out everywhere that's got any connection with you, Harry.'" So, not counting Hogwarts... Grimmauld Place, The Burrow, Privet Drive, Godric's Hallow... MAYBE the Leaky Cauldron?
"'Why didn't Voldemort declare himself Minister of Magic?' asked Ron." Again, Ron said his name without anyone acknowledging it.
"'Now that Dumbledore is dead, you - the Boy Who Lived - were sure to be the symbol and rallying point for any resistance to Voldemort. But by suggesting that you had a hand in the old hero's death, Voldemort has not only set a price on your head, but sown doubt and fear amongst many who would have defended you.'" Finally, a plan from the Dumbass Terrorist that's actually good.
"'But how are they[Muggle-borns] supposed to have 'stolen' magic?' said Ron. 'It's mental, if you could steal magic there wouldn't be any Squibs, would there?'" Yeah, that's the same kind of dumbass political theory as, like, vaccines causing autism or flat earth theory.
"Hermione, however, looked puzzled. 'But what about Tonks?' she asked. 'What about her?' said Lupin." Oh. My. FUCKING. God. Oh my actual fucking god. I can't even find the words to express my frustration with this. Like, it's actually so much worse than I remember. I don't even remember hating this plot line or the couple as a kid, and I don't recall having any qualms with it as a teenager but... my god. I can't believe I'm saying this but... this might actually be worse than Twilight. Okay, not worse than Jacob imprinting on a baby but everything else? At least arguably. Like, at least when Bella gets pregnant with his monster baby, Edward actually sticks around and takes care of her in addition to getting his entire family to also take care of her even though he's the most terrified he's been in his 100 years of life.
I mean I only remember Lupin trying to leave because he was scared about the whole werewolf baby thing but that exchange... their whole relationship is just- JUST red flags.
"'Tonks is going to have a baby.'" Okay... okay... I've been waiting for this moment cuz I've got some things to say here. Lupin and Tonks got together the night of/day after Dumbledore's death, and Dumbledore died at the end of June. It is currently the 5th of August, which means they have been together for about a month and a few days. And at a month and few days, they[Lupin and Tonks] already know, they already KNOW???? that Tonks is pregnant? And from the descriptions of Lupin and Tonks at Harry's birthday, they already knew then. So not only was Tonks already pregnant but they already knew she was pregnant at one single month? Alright, now, lemme explain something. At the time of writing this, I had just gone through being 3 weeks late, as in I went almost 2 months in between periods. 2 MONTHS. And even though my partner and I are careful, I know that some things can still happen so, for those 3 weeks, I was like ????????? at my body. BUT it is also not super unusual for my period to skip a single month for other reasons so not until I have skipped 2 full months, as in no period for like 2.5 months, would I start going, okay I definitely need to get a test/go to the doctor/do whatever I'm gonna do. The point is 1 month is REALLY soon to know that you are pregnant. Most women do not KNOW they're pregnant at 1 month unless they're going to the doctor every 5 weeks or less. Not only that, but(I'm sure the rate would be very different in the wizarding world) a LOT of pregnancies are miscarried in the first 3 months. So, even if I did get pregnant, announcing it publicly at 1 month is, to ME, kind of insane. Did I mention how much I hate this fucking plot? Just... too hasty, man.
"'I - I have made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment and I have regretted it very much ever since.'" Yeah, me too. But you're a little late, Moon Moon.
Harry yelling at Lupin is definitely the only thing that could've diffused my own anger, if only it had gone on longer.
But the fact Ron and Hermione both reprimand Harry for doing so shows they really don't have the same personal history as him. Percy is the only person in Ron's life who's abandoned him and Hermione doesn't seem very affected by having to send her parents away. Heck, I'm pretty sure neither one of them have actually witnessed a death yet.
"Broken images were racing each other through his mind: Sirius falling through the veil; Dumbledore suspended, broken, in midair; a flash of green light and his mother's voice, begging for mercy- 'Parents,' said Harry, 'shouldn't leave their kids unless - unless they've got to.'" We must protect this boy and STOP KILLING THE PEOPLE HE LOVES.
"The baby, Ariana, was little longer than a loaf of bread and no more distinctive-looking." 😅 great description 👍.
Kreacher is now cleaning the house and cooking for the trio and Hermione is staying conveniently silent about it...
The narrator pointing out Snape is in Dumbledore's office with the Pensieve is making me think of other ways he could've gotten his memories to Harry because I know it's VERY lucky Harry gets to him in the nick of time. I'm thinking now, in September, would've been a good time to put his memories in a vile and seal the vile with a spell that assures only Harry Potter can open it, then Snape would keep the vile hidden on his person until he judged it was time to get it to Harry, then he could send it to Harry via that one spell that transports items or by anonymous owl with a note, telling him to look at it in the Pensieve. Yeah, Ik I'm getting ahead of things here but I had the idea and wanted to get it down cuz I'll probably forget by the time I get to that part of the story.
"'Unless,' said Ron, 'she's[Umbridge] found a way of opening it and she's now possessed.' 'Wouldn't make any difference to her, she was so evil in the first place,' Harry shrugged." Glad we're all in agreement 😅.
"'I want Gregorovitch.' 'Er wohnt hier nicht mehr!' she cried, shaking her head. 'He no live here! He no live here! I know him not!'" Uhhhhh most Deutsche people can English fluently. There's no reason for her English to be that broken. You'd think a woman who lives one big swim and one big bike ride away from Deutschland would know that.
"'Where is he?' 'Das weiß ich niche! He move! I know not, I know not!'" Even if there are some Deutsche people who speak little to no English, Lord Thingy is speaking English to her and she's understanding him perfectly so WHY is she only able to speak it like she started learning it yesterday?
Okay 3 times means Ron is really just freely saying Voldemort's name. I'm just salty the story doesn't make this a bigger deal because he was still wincing at the name right up to the end of the last book.
"They found Hermione downstairs in the kitchen. She was being served coffee and hot rolls by Kreacher..." 👀
"She pulled out a set of old robes Kreacher had laundered for them..." So house elves can and do do laundry without being freed. But how in the world does that work?
"There was no author's name on the pamphlet, but again, the scars on the back of his right hand seemed to tingle as he examined it." Interesting, Harry's scar from Umbridge tingles when Umbridge is involved but there's no Umbridge Horcrux in him. Plus, he's under Polyjuice Potion at this moment so he doesn't even physically have the scars. Must be a psychological thing or some other magic-related thing.
"Harry looked too and rage reared in him like a snake. Where there might have been a peephole on a Muggle front door, a large, round eye with a bright blue iris had been set into the wood - an eye that was shockingly familiar to anyone who had known Alastor Moody." Yeah, that'd piss off anyone, to see a unique item that belonged to a dead person you knew and cared about in the possession of the person in the world you loathe the most... Dolores certainly continues to be the absolute worst.
"The walls bore the same ornamental plates, each featuring a highly colored, beribboned kitten, gamboling and frisking with sickening cuteness." Sickening cuteness eh? I suppose if there is such a thing, it would be in Umbridge's office.
"The doors opened and Mr. Weaseley walked inside, talking to an elderly witch whose blonde hair was teased so high it resembled an anthill. '...I quite understand what you're saying, Wakanda...'" W-w-w-Wakanda???? Forever?
"The Patronus, he was sure, was Umbridge's, and it glowed brightly because she was so happy here, in her element, upholding the twisted laws she had helped to write." Indeed. Unfortunately, I fear Umbridge was not but one who managed to slip through the cracks, it is precisely people like Umbridge for whom these positions are created. It's not nearly often enough that we get someone like Shacklebolt who ends up in the position that he does.
It is a shame and a waste that Umbridge doesn't at least lose her job here.
Man, Harry leading all the Muggle-borns and their families out of the Ministry is so good. We rarely get to see him be that kind of hero.
"As the balding wizard lifted his wand, Harry raised an enormous fist and punched him, sending him flying through the air." For one single shining second in his entire life, Harry got to feel like Dudley.
"Harry opened his eyes and was dazzled by gold and green." Ah shit he's in a Wisconsin man cave.
Harry realizes he's in a forest and immediately assumes its the Forbidden Forest. The Boy Who Lived? More like The Boy Who Needs to Touch Grass More.
Even if Yaxley and the Death Eaters can get in Grimmauld Place now, Harry could still summon Kreacher back to him to at least make sure he's safe. Then maybe keep him during the travels. He was already feeding them and everything so why not continue?
Aw Ron being all concerned about the Cattermoles is so sweet.
Does the locket really HAVE to be kept around their necks? Yeah, they need to keep it safe but surely it would be better to keep it in Harry's little pouch that only he can open. Then maybe it would or maybe it wouldn't have such a negative effect.
"What if the Death Eaters tortured the elf? Sick images swarmed into Harry's head and he tried to push these away too, for there was nothing he could do for Kreacher." Bullshit you can literally summon him away.
"He and Hermione had already decided against trying to summon him; what if someone from the Ministry came too?" Sure it's possible but I think highly unlikely, if a torture or interrogation is happening, it's most likely by magic. But just for the risk of being found, they're just going to leave the elf to let him be tortured.
"'I have it not, I have it no more! It was, many years ago, stolen from me!'" Really? Gregorovitch has the broken English too? How did it take so long to cancel this woman?
Harry describes young Grindelwald as handsome because of course he does. Harry will never fail to notice when a young man is handsome.
Damn, Harry buries Moody's eye in the woods. Closest he'll get to a proper burial I guess.
Imagine, instead of the locket, it was the diadem they found first and they each had to take turns wearing that everywhere 😅. Or Hufflepuff's cup, what would they do with that to keep it safe? Convenient the one they have to hold onto for months and months is the one they gotta wear right next to their hearts.
"'It's not stealing, is it?' asked Hermione in a troubled voice, as they devoured scrambled eggs on toast. 'Not if I left some money under the chicken coop?'" UNDER the chicken coop? Blimey, Hermione, at least leave it somewhere they'll find it.
"'Yeah, his school! It was his first real home, the place that meant he was special; it meant everything to him, and even after he left-' 'This is You-Know-Who we're talking about, right? Not you?' Inquired Ron." 👀Ooooooh.
"'He wouldn't have hidden a Horcrux here,' Harry said. He had known it all along: The orphanage had been the place Voldemort had been determined to escape; he would never have hidden part of his soul there. Dumbledore had shown Harry that Voldemort sought grandeur or mystique in his hiding places.'" See, writing-wise, I would have taken the route, there, that Harry has an understanding of the way Voldemort thinks without Dumbledore having to teach him. I would've written that Harry knew Voldemort would never hide a part of his soul at the orphanage for the same reason Harry would never leave something that important to him at Number 4 Privet Drive.
"And Ron would turn away, making no effort to hide his disappointment. Harry knew Ron was hoping to hear news of his family or the rest of the Order of the Phoenix..." Hey, no news is good news.
Finding it really hard to believe neither Harry, nor Lord Thingy, or even Gregorovitch knows Grindelwald by site. Alright ig Harry wouldn't bc he would've just been a historical figure and probably only pictures him as an old man since he's Dumble's age. But Riddle was at Hogwarts during that war, he surely would've seen photos of Grindelwald in the Prophet or wanted posters or fliers or whatever. But Gregorovitch???? The man who would've made and sold Grindelwald his original wand and then also seen Grindelwald's face all over during the war? Did Gregorovitch spend his life making wands under a rock? Imagine it's the 1990's and you witness Osama Bin Laden breaking into your home and stealing your most prized possession, and then you see his face on the news and stuff for the next 15 years, but when someone asks you about it, you're like 'yeah, no clue who that guy was'.
Heh, people call Xenophilius 'Xeno'. I like that.
"There were moments when he did not know whether he angrier with Ron or with Dumbledore. *We thought you knew what you were doing... We thought Dumbledore had told you what to do... We thought you had a real plan!*" Way to go, Dumbles, you destroyed the dream team.
Also, expectations are one of the biggest destroyers of a relationship. So just.. uh... just don't have expectations of other people ever.
"She was curled up in one of the sagging armchairs with The Tales of Beedle the Bard. He could not imagine how much more she could get out of the book..." Well, maybe if you guys had some open discussions about the contents of the book, a clue might reveal itself. Just saying.
"'Harry, did you ever open A History of Magic?' 'Erm,' he said, smiling for what felt like the first time in months... 'I might've opened it, you know, when I bought it... just the once...'" Lol Harry is such a jock.
"'Remember what Muriel said?' he asked eventually. 'Who?' 'You know,' he hesitated: He did not want to say Ron's name. 'Ginny's great-aunt.'" Lol, also could've said Mrs. Weaseley's aunt.
"...looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them." Yes. So close. She was so close to perfection there. But she couldn't have her main hero actually wishing he was dead and buried with his parents, only CLOSE to wishing it. But anyone who has lost one or both parents at a tragically young age knows you're not CLOSE to wishing such a thing, you spend your life constantly, subtly and in the back of your mind, but ALWAYS wishing you were with them.
"Harry thought of A History of Magic; the graveyard was supposed to be haunted: what if-?" Harry Potter, you have spent 60 months of your life living in a castle that is absolutely teaming with ghosts. Do not start acting like you're scared of ghosts.
"By all the rules of normal magic, meanwhile, she ought not to be able to see Hermione and him at all. Nevertheless, Harry had the strangest feeling she knew that they were there, and also who they were." Well duh she knows you're there if she can see your prints in the snow.
"Harry raised his wand, but as he did so, his scar seared more painfully, more powerfully than it had done in years. 'He's coming! Hermione he's coming!'" Soooo this may be a bad time but umm... d-do ya think... do you think maybe if Lord Thingy uh... were to... ummm... do you think if Voldemort were to...... get it on... c-could Harry.... N-n-no nevermind......
"'Nice costume, mister!'" Everyone wonders why Lord Thingy waited so long to call upon the Potters when Wormtail would've revealed their location to him ages ago. The real reason is Voldemort does not dare walk down a Muggle street on ANY night but Halloween.
"Beneath the robe he fingered the handle of his wand... One simple movement and the child would never reach his mother... but unnecessary, quite unnecessary..." I like to think he's constantly suppressing the urge to Avada Kedavra every person in front of him. Like it's a constant itch he only dares to scratch when he really needs to or he loses his temper.
"He could hear her screaming from the upper floor, trapped, but as long as she was sensible, she, at least, had nothing to fear." Omg see! See? He fully intended to spare Lily as Snape requested! Still pretty dumbass of him to predict that a mother would step aside to let her defenseless baby be killed but he did never know the love of a mother and he does believe death is the worst, worse than losing someone else to death.
"The child began to cry: It had seen that he was not James. He did not like it crying, he had never been able to stomach the small ones whining at the orphanage." Ooooooh. That's interesting. Wonder why that is. Now I really wished we got more in depth Dark Lord pov.
"'Once we were up in the room, the snake sent a message to You-Know-Who, I heard it happen inside my head, I felt him get excited, he said to keep me there... and then...'" Well all Nagini had to do was stay in Bathilda's body until Voldypop got there and then Harry and Hermione wouldn've gotten away in time.
"Impenetrable, unhelpful, useless, like everything else Dumbledore had left him." Ha-ha!
"On the subject, however, Bathilda is well worth the effort I put into procuring Veritaserum, for she, and she alone, knows the full story of the best-kept secret of Albus Dumbledore's life." Does Skeeter think Aberforth is dead or something? She doesn't mention even trying to get in touch with him for the book, just puts all her eggs in the Bathilda basket. A great researcher pulls from as many sources as she possibly can. Or at least more than one.
"As Grindelwald never extended his campaign of terror to Britain, however, the details of his rise to power are not widely known." Fine, I'll buy Harry and Lord Thingy not knowing who he is, but still haven't filled in the plot hole of Gregorovitch not knowing his face.
"'I thought you'd say 'They were young.' They[Dumbledore and Grindelwald] were the same age as we are now. And here we are, risking our lives to fight the Dark Arts, and there he was, in a huddle with his new best friend, plotting their rise to power over the Muggles.'" Harry, once again, not accepting age as an excuse for bad behavior or bad decisions. Man, Luna is the only truly good person he names any of his kids after, and guaranteed that was Ginny's choice.
"'Look what he asked from me, Hermione! Risk your life, Harry! And again! And again! And don't expect me to explain everything, just trust me blindly, trust that I know what I'm doing, trust me even though I don't trust you! Never the whole truth! Never!'" So, a couple of days ago, I came to my own little realization about Dumbles. You know how Dumbledore was the 'only one Voldemort ever feared'? Well, what if Voldemort was afraid of him, not because Dumbledore was more powerful than Voldemort, but because, in many ways, Dumbledore is just like Voldemort but... BETTER? For example, in HBP, Dumbledore explains to Harry that many of Voldemort's followers believe themselves to be 'special' or to have a 'special connection' to the Dark Lord. Barty Crouch Jr., Bellatrix, and Lucius, being the most prime examples. But, in Dumbledore's words, Lord Voldemort does not have friends. Meaning Voldemort leads people to believe that they are special to him so that they will do whatever he asks, but once they are no longer useful or they fail, he discards, punishes or 'demotes' them as with Crouch Jr. and Lucius and a number of others. Now, what if Dumbledore has been doing mostly the same thing for most of his life? Just without the violent and deadly punishments? Hagrid, Harry, Snape, the Maurauders, even McGonagall, he draws them in with the illusion of favor and the delicate disclosure of certain secrets. Only you can be trusted with this information, only you can help me with this problem, only you are special. But he never truly lets them in, he gives them everything, protection, confidence, the illusion of freedom and choices, everything but himself. Perhaps out of fear of repeating his same mistakes with Grindelwald? Or for any other number of reasons. But he shares just enough for them to feel like he trusts them, trusts them more than others, forcing them to trust in him above all else... just like Voldemort...
"'Where are we?' 'The Forest of Dean,' she said." Damn I didn't know Dean Thomas owned a whole ass forest 😁
"Deeper and deeper into the forest she[the doe Patronus] led him, and Harry walked quickly, sure that when she stopped, she would allow him to approach her properly. And then she would speak and the voice would tell him what he needed to know." 😂Imagine how shook he would be if the Doe did speak and, expecting some sweet, kind voice to come from it, he hears fucking Snape's voice instead.
"He held his wand higher. Nobody ran out at him, no flash of green light burst from behind a tree." My face when the trees start speaking Parseltongue.
"Where 'chivalry' entered into this, he thought ruefully, he was not entirely sure, unless it counted as chivalrous that he was not calling for Hermione to do it in his stead." LOL I was not expecting that line.
"The chain of the Horcrux had tightened and was slowly constructing his windpipe." Okay the Horcrux pulling him in any direction makes sense but trying to choke him out while he's already underwater and can't breathe? Dumbass Horcrux.
"'Getting the sword. Finishing off the Horcrux. Saving my life.' 'That makes me sound a lot cooler than I was,' Ron mumbled. 'Stuff like that always sounds cooler than it really was,' said Harry. 'I've been trying to tell you that for years.'" Harry IS the expert on such things. And I do love the consistency of that narrative.
"She saw Ron, who stood there holding the sword and dripping onto the threadbare carpet. Harry backed into a shadowy corner, slipped off Ron's rucksack, and attempted to blend in with the canvas." Lmao Harry is expecting the most romantic reunion scene to go down between his two besties.
"'You come back after weeks - weeks - and you think it's all going to be all right if you just say sorry?'" 👀 some people might need to take notes there.
Part 2, the final part, coming soon!
Deathly Hallows part 2
They continue to scavenge for mushrooms and even blackberries in... fucking December. JKR also needs to touch grass.
The book even acknowledges it's the Christmas holiday so it's not like there was a timeskip or she forgot what time of year it is. Yet, there they are, playing with spiders and grass and looking for blackberries and mushrooms and falling in the brambles like it's the middle of summer. I seriously can't believe we used to call this woman one of the greatest writers of all time.
"'None of the rest of the family knew I was there. Bill told Mum he and Fleur weren't going home for Christmas because they wanted to spend it alone. You know, first holiday after they were married. I don't think Fleur minded.'" Hya, imagine getting married and the honeymoon high is still going and you just moved into your own home with your brand new spouse and then your spouse's youngest brother suddenly starts staying there for several weeks. Talk about a cock block.
"And she pulled out The Tales of Beedle the Bard from the small beaded bag. 'The original?' inquired Xenophilius sharply, and when she nodded...'" The ORIGINAL??? Damn, Dumbles, you didn't have to give her the original. Also, story could've made a slightly bigger deal over her getting the original story book. I'm sure most of us would LOVE to have the original edition of a great book.
I gotta wonder though, how exactly did Dumbledore think they were going to find out what the symbol was? The symbol was drawn on the title page of The Tale of the Three Brothers, but not even Hermione makes the connection to what it is, and Dumbledore didn't KNOW Xeno was going to attend the wedding AND that he'd be wearing the symbol AND that any of the trio would see it AND that Viktor Krum would be there to make a big enough deal about it for any of them to remember the symbol. Like, Xeno was their only lead on getting the symbol explained to them and that lead was definitely not set up or planted by Dumbledore. My best guess is he thought they'd end up at Godric's Hollow, find Bathilda, and she'd explain it to them but Rita Skeeter and Aunt Muriel both describe Bathilda as 'gaga', so I can't see that being the most solid of plans, and that's not even taking into account what actually ends up happening to Bathilda.
"'Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?' Harry interrupted again. 'So he can sneak up on people,' said Ron. 'Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...'" Heh, good one.
"'...it's obvious which gift is best, which one you'd choose-' The three of them spoke at the same time; Hermione said, 'the Cloak,' Ron said, 'the wand,' and Harry said, 'the stone.'" Oooooh, a very distinctive telling of their three different personalities, values, and experiences. Of course Harry has a laundry list of people he would bring back from the dead. Ron values power and success the most out of the three of them. Hermione sees the practical uses of an Invisibility Cloak.
Chekov's Erumpent horn.
Hermione's quick thinking of getting the Death Eaters to see Harry so they'd know Xeno wasn't lying while keeping Ron hidden bc he's supposed to be home sick is more of the kind of smart shit I wanna see.
Hermione continuing to refuse to believe the Deathly Hallows are real when they literally have the Invisibility Cloak, not to mention all the other impossible shit they've seen and experienced, is just so irritating.
Hermione thinks the Deathly Hallows aren't really part of the plan because "why wouldn't Dumbledore tell you about them? He gave you clear instructions to destroy Horcruxes and that's it" but Harry knows Dumbledore better, he knows Dumbledore never spelled things out for Harry except when he had to. He had to spell out the Horcruxes bc there was 0 way for Harry to find out anything about Horcruxes on his own since it's a banned subject and a very rare piece of Dark Magic.
Lee Jordan as a radio announcer is S+ tier.
Could 'Remus' have picked a more obvious codename than 'Romulus'?
"'And I'd tell him[Harry] to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right.'" Ehhhhh I think he's made a mistake or 7.
Fred making Harry and others laugh over the radio while the world is in turmoil is beautiful and proof that humor is a light that truly repels the dark. Real world version? Meme culture.
Honestly, it's a wonder Greyback doesn't bite/scratch more people while in human form like he did to Bill. I mean his objective is turning lots of people into werewolves but he can obviously only do that once a month, so why not do the next best thing and make every person he comes in contact with werewolf-like?
"'Stan Shunpike,' said Ron. 'Like 'ell you are,' said the man called Scabior. 'We know Stan Shunpike, 'e's put a bit of work our way.'" Yeah, Ron, that was bound to happen. You knew he was running with the Death Eaters under the Imperius Curse.
"'What House were you at Hogwarts?' 'Slytherin,' said Harry automatically. 'Funny 'ow they all thinks we wants to 'ear that,' jeered Scabior out of the shadows. 'But none of 'em can tell us where the common room is.' 'It's in the dungeons,' said Harry clearly. 'You enter through the wall. It's full of skulls and stuff and it's under the lake, so the lights all green.'" Love that lucky little callback to the fact Harry's visited the Slytherin common room before. Too bad they still get found out anyway.
😂Are Greyback and the other Snatchers really going to believe these three kids are out here in the woods, using a shiny, goblin-made, ruby encrusted sword to cut firewood of all things? Oh, Harry, you're still that same boy who thought the wind carried him onto the roof of a building.
"'I thought you wore glasses, Potter?' breathed Greyback. 'I found glasses!' yelped one of the Snatchers..." Ahh, the kind of comedic timing you can only get in writing.
It's crazy to think that Grindelwald outlives Dumbledore. Only by a little less than a year but still.
Also that Grindelwald and Voldemort, the two most dangerous dark wizards of their respective times, both meet their ends so close together. Literally just a couple of months.
Do they REALLY need Draco to to identify Harry? Narcissa and Lucius both know Ron and Hermione and why would Ron and Hermione be traveling around with some random dude with a swollen face in Harry's clothes?
Harry really hasn't seen his reflection since Grimmauld Place? You're telling me that tent has a bathroom but no mirror?
"'Take these prisoners down to the cellar...' 'Wait,' said Bellatrix sharply. 'All except... except for the Mudblood.'" Which one eh? Hermione and Dean are both there and they're both Muggle-borns.
Convenient that we find where Luna is only two chapters after finding out she's been taken prisoner. We get to be worried about her but not for TOO long.
Man, whoever built Malfoy Manor didn't do the best job if you can hear a whole conversation happening in the drawing room from the cellar.
AND they can hear the crack of someone Disapparating in the cellar from the drawing room? Such poor soundproofing for a mansion.
"'You're going to kill me?' Harry choked, attempting to prise off the metal fingers. After I saved your life? You owe me, Wormtail!'" The fact that that... actually WORKS?
Also, that WORMTAIL, of all people was about to be the one to kill Harry Potter but then just... didn't.
The one other actually smart thing the Dumbass Terrorist does is jinxing the hand he gave Wormtail to kill its owner at the smallest sign of betrayal.
"He leapt over an armchair and wrested the three wands from Draco's grip, pointed all of them at Greyback and yelled, 'Stupefy!' The werewolf was lifted off his feet by the triple spell, flew up to the ceiling, and then smashed to the ground." If more wands = more power, why don't power seekers like Voldemort just carry and use multiple wands like that?
Grindelwald, Pettigrew, and Dobby all on the same night...
Imagine living the rest of your life in your home with your family knowing that a random House Elf you've never met is buried in your garden.
"Just as Voldemort had not been able to possess Harry while Harry was consumed with grief for Sirius, so his thoughts could not penetrate Harry now, while he mourned Dobby. Grief, it seemed, drove Voldemort out... though Dumbledore, of course, would have said that it was love..." Hmmm, I wonder why that is. I don't believe it is love, no matter how much the author might have intended, but I can't really find a solid reason grief would be what keeps Lord Thingy out.
"Ron sat on the edge of the grave and stripped off his shoes and socks, which he placed upon the elf's bare feet." Awww.
Wow, only 3 bedrooms at Shell Cottage and there's now 9 people staying there.
Naturally, Bellatrix's hysterical reaction to the possibility of the trio accessing her vault is precisely what gives away that there most certainly is something in her vault worth taking. Her passion and loyalty make her a nearly perfect lieutenant, but paired with her inability to stay calm, of course that will one day pierce a hole in the boat.
"When Harry finished speaking, Ron shook his head. 'You really understand him[Voldemort].' 'Bits of him,' said Harry." He does and I LOVE it.
"'Yes, if you won it, it is most likely going to do your bidding, and do it well, than another wand.' 'And this holds true for all wands, does it?' asked Harry. 'I think so,' replied Ollivander... 'So, it isn't necessary to kill the previous owner to take true possession of a wand?' asked Harry." Ohhhhhh, Harry's already putting the pieces together.
Between Lucius' wand breaking in the Battle of the Seven Potters and Harry taking Draco and Bellatrix's wand, Narcissa's wand really is the only wand left between the Malfoys.
Lol Shell Cottage is on top of a cliff overlooking the sea but in the films it's just on the beach. Y'know, on sand, the thing they say not to build structures on.
Gotta love that Ron and Harry think the explanation for the Doe Patronus and the blue eye in the mirror is that Dumbledore is secretly not dead instead of his very living brother because obviously nobody ever thinks of Aberforth even when Albus is gone.
So I'm guessing Hermione and Luna are sleeping in one bedroom, Ollivander and Griphook are sleeping in another, Bill and Fleur are still in their own room, and ig Harry, Ron, and Dean are camping out in the sitting room.
"'The sword was Ragnuk the First's, taken from him by Godric Gryffindor! It is a lost treasure, a masterpiece of goblinwork! It belongs to the goblins!'" Do goblins have their own school where they learn about their histories and stuff or is it all just old-fashioned oral retelling?
"'Ze goblin can move downstairs and you, Ron, and Dean can take zat room.' 'We don't mind sleeping in the living room,' said Harry." Ayye I got it right! Lol sorry but I've been wondering about that situation since wayyy before we arrived at the cottage.
"'Everything's fine,' he[Bill] told Fleur. 'Ollivander settled in, Mum and Dad say hello, Ginny sends you all her love. Fred and George are driving Muriel up the wall, they're still operating an Owl-Order business out of her back room.'" Hehe glad Fred and George being little shits and upsetting an old bird qualifies as fine.
"...and Ron said, 'Blimey, a baby!' as if he had never heard of such a thing before." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Help! That's the funniest reaction ever!
"He[Lupin] looked years younger than Harry had ever seen him." Welp, Baby hasn't lived in this world long enough to do its job then.
Love Bill trying to advise Harry about dealing with goblins. He's such a big bro.
"As he followed Bill back to the others a wry thought came to him, born no doubt of the wine he had drunk. He seemed set on course to become just as reckless a godfather to Teddy Lupin as Sirius Black had been to him." 😂No kidding! I'm sure James and Lily are pulling their hair out while Sirius cheers Harry on for his plans to break into fucking Gringotts.
"'I hate this thing[Bellatrix's wand],' she[Hermione] said in a low voice. 'I really hate it. It feels all wrong, it doesn't work properly for me. ...It's like a bit of her.' Harry could not help but remember how Hermione had dismissed his loathing of the blackthorn wand, insisting that he was imagining things when it did not work as well as his own, telling him to simply practice." Mmmmmhhmmmm. Seriously, did Hermione get chosen by the first wand she picked up when she was 11?
"Harry bent down and the goblin clambered onto his back, his hands linked in front of Harry's throat. He was not heavy, but Harry disliked the feeling of the goblin and the surprising strength with which he clung on." Insert Mitch Hedberg reference.
"'Well,' Travers coughed, 'I heard that the inhabitants of Malfoy Manor were confined to the house after the... ah... escape.'" Ooof. That doesn't include Draco, right? Pretty sure I remember him being at Hogwarts when they get there. But, again, oof if Lord Thingy has confined the closest he has to a right hand woman.
Wow, using Levicorpus to reach Hufflepuff's cup. Thanks, Snivellus.
"...clutching as tightly as he could to the jagged scales as the wings opened, knocking the shrieking goblins aside like skittles." Like WHAT now?
Love how whenever Harry and co. have to break into somewhere important, they can't just do it quietly, take the one thing they need, and leave. No, they break into the Minitstry in book 5 and completely destroy the Department of Mysteries. Break into the Ministry this year, steal Mad-Eye's eye from Umbridge, and free all the Muggle-borns awaiting trial. Break into Gringotts, leave a mountain of burning hot treasure in the Lestrange's vault, release the fucking guard dragon, destroy the entire passageway from the bank to the lowest vaults, and the main bank building itself. Huh... I also watch One Piece for the same catharsis of watching government establishments being leveled. What's that called? Coup-core? State destruction art? Accidental terrorism fiction?
"Behind him, whether from delight or fear he could not tell, Ron kept swearing at the top of his voice, and Hermione seemed to be sobbing." Bloody brilliant.
Man, how many times is Harry(and Ron) going to fly between London and Scotland? First in the Ford Anglia, then by Thestrals, now by dragon.
"'Well, I don't know how to break this to you,' said Ron, 'but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts.'" Yo. Fred and George will be sooo jealous.
"The Elder Wand slashed through the air and green light erupted through the room; the kneeling goblin rolled over, dead; the watching wizards scattered before him, terrified: Bellatrix and Lucius Malfoy threw others behind them in their race for the door...'" Are we sure Luscius deserves redemption? Sure, self preservation is natural and all but throwing others behind you? Yikes.
It is odd that, as far as we know, Voldemort never enters Harry's mind and sees what Harry is doing the way Harry continually enters his. Like, he only got the idea to show Harry him torturing Sirius from the information Kreacher passed along. I guess it's a one way window unless he consciously uses Legilimens like at the end of book 5.
"How could the boy, or anybody else, know about the cave or penetrate its protection?" Boi, you know Kreacher survived the cave and you know Harry inherited Kreacher, right? Oof, too bad Dumbledore didn't know Kreacher had been to the cave, he could've interrogated the elf and found out the locket wasn't there before taking that whole, painful ass trip.
"The lake[in the cave], surely impossible... though was there a slight possibility that Dumbledore might have known some of his past misdeeds, through the orphanage." I don't know why I think it's funny he calls them misdeeds.
"'I - I was in his head, he's' - Harry remembered the killings - 'he's seriously angry...'" 🤣🤣 is that how you put it?
"'Accio Cloak!' roared one of the Death Eaters. Harry seized its folds, but it made no attempt to escape: The Summoning Charn had not worked on it." Ooooh, further confirmation of the true nature of his Cloak.
"'Not under your wrapper, then, Potter?' yelled the Death Eater who had tried the charm..." I did wonder for a brief moment how some Death Eater thugs would know about Harry's Cloak when even someone like Luna's dad doesn't, and then remembered Snape is all too aware of the Cloak.
"'Stag!' roared the barman, and he pulled out his wand. 'Stag! You idiot! Expecto Patronum!'" Dang, what happy thought does Aberforth have that he can produce a Patronus?
"'That's not what I saw -' said the Death Eater, though with less certainty." I see gaslighting runs in the Dumbledore family.
Lol Aberforth is telling Harry to flee the country and, it's like, where would he go lol? The only foreign people he knows are the Delecours and Victor Krum. Can you see Harry living in France with the Delecours? Speaking 0 French and trying to find enough local foods that he actually likes so he's not living off croissants and pastries?
"I knew my brother, Potter. He learned secrecy at our mother's knee. Secrets and lies, that's how we grew up, and Albus... he was a natural.'" Told you, gaslighting runs in the family.
"'Funny thing, how many of the people my brother cared about very much ended up in a worse state than if he'd left 'em well alone.'" Yeahhhhh.
"'He[Albus] didn't want to be bothered with her. She liked me best. I could get her to eat when she wouldn't do it for my mother, I could get her to calm down when she was in one of her rages, and when she was quiet, she used to help me feed the goats.'" Ahh Aberforth was the parentified brother. Perhaps Albus thought his family was below him, in that "teenager who's smarter than the rest of his family" way.
"'Grand plans for the benefit of all Wizardkind, and if one young girl got neglected, what did that matter, when Albus was working for the greater good?'" And if one greasy, young half-blood was failed by everyone around him, what did that matter? And if one orphaned boy who's been marked for death since before he was born has to be killed, what does that matter? Abusers don't stop unless they are stopped, they just switch their victims.
Remember where I said Voldemort fears Dumbledore because Dumbledore is exactly like him but better? Remember the example I gave was that they both are masters of getting people to trust them so that they'll do whatever he asks? Well, I forgot to bring up another little parallel between the two men relating to that: Both of them were brilliant students with all the academic achievements, everyone around both of them thought they should go work at the Ministry and rise to become Minister, but both of them sought careers at Hogwarts. Why? Well, the reason given for Voldemort was that he wanted to recruit young witches and wizards to his cause (and hide a Horcrux) but no reason is given for why Dumbledore settled on Hogwarts instead of the Ministry. At the interview Tom has with Dumbledore about the DADA job, right before the job is jinxed, Dumbledore knows exactly what Tom wanted the position for. How does he know? Because that's EXACTLY why HE is at Hogwarts! Of course Dumbledore would recognize a man with the ability and the will to groom children, yes, GROOM CHILDREN, because he is also a man with the ability and the will to groom children into his own tools. Dumbledore clocked that shit in Tom long before he started going by Voldemort. I also think Voldemort recognized it in Dumbledore and recognized that Dumbledore was better, his "tool polishing" more "polished" and that is why Voldemort feared him.
"His hair was longer than Harry had ever seen it." If Neville's hair is the longest Harry has ever seen, that means the students were getting haircuts at Hogwarts over the previous years. That also means, under Snape's thumb, everyone's being forced to grow their hair out. Ugh yes please.
"'What did you do with the dragon?' 'Released it into the wild,' said Ron. 'Hermione was all for keeping it as a pet-'" Goddam, Ron is on top of the sarcastic replies this book.
"'The thing is, it helps when people stand up to them, it gives everyone hope. I used to notice that when you did it, Harry.'" Omg that's beautiful. Years of watching Harry be the beacon of hope, then in Harry's absence, Neville said "well someone ought to do it, and if no one else will, I will."
"'they bit off a bit more than they could chew with Gran. Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn't need to send anyone particularly powerful. Anyway,' Neville laughed, 'Dawlish is still in St. Mungo's and Gran's on the run. She sent me a letter,' he clapped a hand to the breast pocket of his robes, 'telling me she was proud of me, that I'm my parents' son, and to keep it up.'" FUCK YEAHHHHHHH!!
Huh, it's the Room of Requirement that created the passage to The Hog's Head. That's... there's definitely meaning there, Hogwarts usually knows what it's doing.
"'What are we going to do then, Harry?' asked Seamus. 'What's the plan?'" The old DA ready to assist Harry is the bessssst.
"'Aberforth's getting a bit annoyed,' said Fred, raising his hand to answer several cries of greeting. 'He wants a kip and his bar's turned into a railway station.'" Yeahhh the thought of the grumpy old goat having to usher all these teenagers through his bar in the middle of the night is a bit hilarious.
"Ron turned suddenly to Harry. 'Why can't they help?' 'What?' 'They can help. We dont know where it is. We've got to find it fast. We don't have to tell them it's a Horcrux.'" Thank you, Ron. Few things I dislike about Harry but him refusing to let anyone else help with the mission just because Dumbledore told him not to is one.
The fact they're going to go all the way up to Ravenclaw tower to look at the statue and then to talk to the Gray Lady when they are already in the room, but not actually in the room, the diadem is in.
"Then one brave little first-year darted up to her and prodded her backside with his big toe. 'I think she might be dead!' he shouted with delight. 'Oh, look,' whispered Luna happily, as the Ravenclaws crowded around Alecto. 'They're pleased!'" Luna is adorable.
McGonagall being able to answer the riddle to get through the Ravenclaw door is a nice touch as she was a Hat Stall for Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.
"And he[Amycus Carrow] spat in her[McGonagall's] face. Harry pulled the Cloak off himself..." Man thought he was scared of the Dark Lord? Ohhhh boy.
"'You're acting on Dumbledore's orders?' she repeated with a look of dawning wonder. Then she drew herself up to her fullest height." Oh, I just realized... if Voldemort and Dumbledore are parallels, then McGonagall is the parallel to Bellatrix. Like Bellatrix, McGonagall is completely loyal, a nearly perfect lieutenant to Dumbledore, powerful, talented. But unlike Bellatrix, she's calm, poised, logical.
"Ginny's hair flew as she pulled her arm out of her mother's grip. 'I'm in Dumbledore's Army - ' 'A teenagers' gang!' 'A teenagers' gang that's about to take him on, which no one else has dared to do!' said Fred." Hell yeah, Freddie!
I wanna know where the fuck Lord Thingy learned the ability to cast his voice over an entire castle and beyond as if his voice was coming from the walls. He would've been one helluva ventriloquist.
"'I do not want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts.'" Aww.
"'Potter,' said Professor McGonagall, hurrying up to him... 'Aren't you supposed to be looking for something?' 'What? Oh,' said Harry, 'Oh yeah!'" 😅 The Chosen One, ladies and gentlemen.
Wow. I cannot believe it is actually Harry's idea to ask the Gray Lady about the diadem. Like, honestly, Luna makes so much more sense.
"She could not blush, but her transparent cheeks became more opaque..." Ahh, so that's how blushing works with ghosts.
Helena put the diadem in a hollow tree in a forest in Albania and Tom Riddle found it almost 1,000 years later. For 1,000 years, that tree was never cut down, never fell in a storm, never rotted away or was altered in some way that would expose the diadem or make it impossible for someone to find it if searching? Ok.
"Tom Riddle, who confided in no one and operated alone, might have been arrogant enough to assume that he, and only he, had penetrated the deepest mysteries of Hogwarts Castle. Of course, Dumbledore and Flitwick, those model pupils, had never set foot in that particular place, but he, Harry, had strayed off the beaten track in his time at school - here at last was a secret he and Voldemort knew, that Dumbledore had never discovered -" Ohhhh that is sooooo juicy! I LOVE it! Harry's rulebreaking history is what brings him the answer and closer to the victory.
Also, Tom Riddle could penetrate the deepest mysteries of MY castle... I mean... what?
"Tonks" FUCK! This fucking woman! This dumb fucking woman! And no, I don't mean Tonks. I'm talking about this dumb fucking woman who wrote this dumb fucking plot because there is NO other reason for Tonks to be there than for this stupid fucking plot. Tonks just gave birth like a week ago. Not a month ago, two weeks ago at most. She should not even be traveling far from the house, let alone at a fucking battle ground! Nevermind the risk of turning your new son into an orphan, you can not put a woman who just gave birth less than two weeks ago at the site of a deadly magical battle without at least, AT LEAST, explaining that there are magical means of reducing or eliminating the pains of childbirth, speading up the recovery, and reducing the negative postpartum side effects. Other than Ron's "Blimey, a baby!" line, every fucking word of this stupid plot is fucking garbage.
"'I thought you were supposed to be with Teddy at your mother's?' 'I couldn't stand not knowing -' Tonks looked anguished. 'She'll look after him - have you seen Remus?'" See what I mean? What kind of mother, what kind of good mother would rather risk her newborn losing his mother just to know what her very capable of taking care of himself husband is doing? I think JKR also wanted to make a point of having as many women fighting as possible because girl power and sure, it would suck for a tough cookie, auror, member of the Order like Tonks to miss out on the big end battle but that clashes too much with the new baby plot she built. Have her fight without having her have a baby, let her have a baby without having her fight, or let her fight but write her kid to be a little older.
"'The house-elves, they'll be down in the kitchens, won't they?' 'You mean we ought to get them fighting?' asked Harry. 'No,' said Ron seriously. 'I mean we should tell them to get out. We don't want any more Dobbies, do we? We can't order them to die for us -'" And here we see Ron giving more of a shit about house elves than Hermione has this whole book.
Harry yelling at Ron and Hermione kissing during a war has me snorting and laughing! HahA!
Ooh, Crabbe's done listening to Draco, eh? Bad guy team falling apart is always fun.
"...but Harry wheeled in the air. His glasses giving his eyes some small protection from the smoke." Anybody who wears glasses knows they don't protect your eyes from shit.
"'IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!' roared Ron's voice...'" I thought that was the funniest thing in the world when the film came out.
"Malfoy was screaming and holding Harry so tightly it hurt." FINALLY! That's definitely further than Ginny's ever gotten with him.
Ughhhh the fact and the way the chapter ends with Fred's death. And of course he dies telling a joke because almost every line he's said in this series has been a joke.
And I just realized during this reading that Fred is the first friend/ally death in the Battle of Hogwarts that we and Harry witness and the 2nd death witnessed after Crabbe. Never noticed that because I always just kind of jumbled all the Battle of Hogwarts deaths into one pile.
Oh shit Fred might actually be the first person Percy and Hermione saw die period(Crabbe died out of site). And I can't believe I missed it when it happened but I think Wormtail was the first person Ron saw die, his own old rat.
"He was confident that the boy would not find the diadem..." Uhhhh I have some news for you, Voldy.
"'Go and fetch Snape.' 'Snape, m-my Lord?' 'Snape. Now. I need him. There is a - service - I require from him.'" ...................👀. Damn, Lord Thingy, I didn't know you swung that way.
"Dean made the most of the Death Eater's momentary distraction, knocking him out with a stunning spell; Dolohov attempted to retaliate and Parvati shot a Body-Bind curse at him." Love that we get to see other members of the DA fuck people up too.
"'How - how're we going to get in[the Whomping Willow]?' panted Ron. 'I can - see the place - if we just had - Crookshanks again -' 'Crookshanks?' wheezed Hermione, bent double, clutching her chest. 'Are you a wizard, or what?'" Omggggg callback to the Devil's Snare bit in book 1!
"The tunnel was low-ceilinged: They had to double up to move through it nearly four years previously; now there was nothing for it but to crawl." Um, didn't four grown men walk through that tunnel without having to crawl that four years ago?
Twenty something years ago James saved Snape from Lupin the werewolf in the Shrieking Shack, now Snape is killed by Nagini, another vicious creature, in this same shack.
"'Look... at... me...' he whispered." Of course, there's a great number of reasons Snape might've wanted to look into Harry's eyes before dying. The film left no room for wonder by going with the whole "you have your mother's eyes" thing but here there's no clear answer. Perhaps to see Lily's eyes again, maybe, to look at the boy he was about to send to death on someone else's orders, to not feel alone while he died, to finally be "seen" for once in his life. Eye contact is required for mind reading so maybe he wanted to look at something in Harry's memory, Lily in the Mirror of Erised, perhaps. But Harry would've seen the memory come up too so I really don't know.
Also another chapter ending with a significant death.
"It could only be an hour or so from dawn, yet it was pitch-black." Uhh no, it was JUST midnight. I don't believe for a second that more than 2 hours have passed since midnight.
Hopefully this is the last time I bring up this plot line, but it is very telling what JKR's intentions were with the deaths of Lupin and Tonks by the fact that, other than Mad-Eye, they are the only major character deaths that Harry and the audience don't witness. James and Lily, Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore, Dobby, Fred, Snape, Bellatrix. Major character deaths almost always happen in front of Harry because they fit in and are part of the main plot. But Lupin and Tonks die "offscreen" because their deaths are part of a completely different plot that really doesn't fit into the story.
"'Password?' 'Dumbledore!' said Harry without thinking, because it was he whom he yearned to see, and to his surprise the gargoyle slid aside, revealing the spiral staircase behind." Hmm, the final hint to Snape's true nature before the grand reveal.... Ooooor... perhaps Dumbledore set it so that the password would become his name in the event of his death because help will always be given at Hogwarts, not to those who ask for it, but to those who are loyal to him.
I know Harry's mind is preoccupied but I wish we got some small prediction from him over what Snape's memories contain. At least when he looked at SWM, he thought he was going to get answers about the Department of Mysteries.
"Nothing that even Snape had left him could be worse than his own thoughts." Heh... heheh.
"He flapped towards the girls, looking ludicrously batlike, like his older self." Some people don't change much ig.
I also wish we got some of Harry's reactions to the memories as they're happening. You KNOW he'd have a big reaction to Snape knowing his mum and Petunia before attending Hogwarts if the author would only let him.
"'Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?' Snape hesitated. His black eyes, eager in the greenish gloom, moved over the pale face, the dark red hair. 'No,' he said. 'It doesn't make any difference.'" Hmmm, his hesitation shows he does know that it does make a difference to the wizarding world. But, for now, he's choosing for it not to make a difference to him(even though he doesn't like Muggles); perhaps to spare her feelings, or to keep her company, perhaps he wished that it didn't make a difference.
"'Oh yes, they're arguing,' said Snape. He picked up a fistful of leaves and began tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing." Stimming. But not autistic or ADHD stimming, traumatic childhood stimming.
"'Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban.'" Yooooo "They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban." Is word for word what Petunia said at the start of Book 5. I knew she was talking about what she heard Snape telling Lily but I didn't realize she quoted him word for word! That's awesome.
Just as we get reveals for Snape's character, so too do we get small reveals for Petunia, who begged to attend the "special school for freaks".
You know Harry had to be INVESTED in the Lily and Snape story to not even notice his father and Sirius sitting in the train compartment until they speak up.
And naturally it was James who started the animosity with Snape, who definitely didn't hesitate to continue it.
I wonder why Snape and the author included the Sorting scene in the memory sequence. It really doesn't add anything new that Harry and the audience didn't already know. We know Lily was in Gryffindor and Snape was in Slytherin. The only new information we get was that Lucius Malfoy was Snape's prefect. And if that's the point, why not show a different scene of Lucius putting ideas in Snape's little boy head or something? Idk.
See, the thing about a plot twist is, in order for it to be a truly great plot twist, it needs to, not only be surprising, but it also needs to make the plot suddenly make complete sense rather than just coming out of nowhere for the sake of coming out of nowhere. And I know, in this series' heyday, a lot of us considered The Prince's Tale to be one of the greatest plot twists of the century. But now, as an adult and a practiced story writer, it's more clear that it falls into coming out of nowhere for the sake of coming out of nowhere. I mean, realistically, why has NO ONE brought up Snape and Lily's friendship to Harry before? Their friendship wasn't a secret. Probably not as iconic as the "rivalry" between Snape and the Maurauders, but no more of a secret. We understand why Dumbledore and Snape wouldn't but Sirius and Lupin could've, McGonagall knew, Slughorn knew, Hagrid surely knew and we all know his knack for keeping secrets. And, yes, there were points in the story where said friendship would've been relevant to bring up, but the only reason it wasn't was for the sake of the twist. The closest we get to their relationship being mentioned to or in front of Harry is Petunia's sudden memory of their conversation she heard. Sure, it explains the doe Patronus and how the sword got in the forest where they happened to be and what happened to the rest of Lily's letter but those are all small, less significant pieces to the story. Harry being a Horcrux is a terrific plot twist because it explains sooo much and Harry having to die makes it an even greater twist, but the story, and I reckon the audience, puts a lot more into the Snape and Lily part. Like, The Prince's Tale is kind of on the same level of plot twist as "Sirius was framed and the Potters betrayed by Pettigrew who is Ron's pet rat btw" at the end of Book 3. Still, I suppose it's still a good plot twist for a series meant for children, but I guess we've outgrown the ability call it one of the best.
"'If she means so much to you,' said Dumbledore, 'surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?'" Dear GOD! I see so much of people, mostly Snape haters, bringing up how terrible it is that Snape would make that request but why does no one, not even Anti-Dumbledorians, bring up that Dumbledore suggested it? Dumbledore, the man who, according to Hermione, "loves Harry".
"'I have - I have asked him -' 'You disguest me,' said Dumbledore." You brought it up, BITCH!
"'Hide them all, then,' he croaked. 'Keep her - them - safe. Please.' 'And what will you give me in return, Severus?'" Dumbledore is not a good man. Dumbledore will not keep a family safe for the sake of it. Dumbledore will not keep a baby marked for death safe for the sake of it. Dumbledore will not keep two of his most loyal soldiers safe without a price. The price? Snape's unwavering loyalty. The man just begged you to protect his greatest nemesis and you want more from him? Dumbledore is not a good man. He sees the opportunity for Snape to be forever in his debt and he takes it, just like he did with Hagrid.
"'Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans' eyes, I am sure?'... 'I wish... I wish I were dead...' 'And what use would that be to anyone?' said Dumbledore coldly. 'If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear.'" You see how he manipulates? That's classic manipulation. He doesn't give a fuck if Snape or James or Lily die. As long as Snape is useful, he needs him alive. He only cares that Harry lives because it will one day be Harry's turn to be useful to him. It's all just a game of chess to him.
"'And if it does fall into his grasp,' said Dumbledore, almost, it seemed, as an aside, 'I have your word that you will do all in your power to protect the students of Hogwarts?' 'Snape gave a stiff nod." Ooooh proof he was protecting more than just Lily's son.
"'Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter -' 'But this is touching, Severus,' said Dumbledore seriously. 'Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?'" Did you catch that? Redirection. No denial, no justification. Just a deflection of what he's been doing like the high-functioning sociopath he is.
Also, Snape, though I love your poetic phrasing, the proper term would be "grooming a child for death".
Hermione's argument throughout this book has been that Dumbledore loved Harry, as if loving someone makes it impossible for them to hurt them. In fact, it is often the people we love the most who are the most capable of hurting us. Parents absolutely do harm and kill their children even while still loving them. Hermione is lucky not to be able to understand that but she is incredibly naive.
"From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe;" But why does Snape's patronus being a doe mean he loves Lily? I mean when you actually think about it, narratively, what does a doe have to do with Lily? There was not one thing in the series that associated Lily with does. The series never states that her Patronus is a doe, nobody ever compares her to a doe, when Harry sees the doe in the forest, he never once thinks it has anything to do with his mother. Other than being married to the stag, there is not one single thing in the series that connects Lily to a doe. See my above paragraph about plot twists need to make the plot make more sense. Payoff without the setup.
Snape confunds Mundungus to suggest the seven Potters to the Order but I'm surprised Mad-Eye didn't raise an eyebrow at the uncharacteristicly clever idea of Dung's.
I love that Snape included his accidental cutting off George's ear. Like, "My bad! So sorry about that one!" lol. I wonder if, when it happened, Snape's internal monologue was just "shit shit shit shit shit fuck fuck shit fuck fuck..." for the next nine months.
I love how the narrator continually focuses on Harry's heart beats after coming out of the Pensieve. That really feels so accurate to be focused on your heart when you know you're about to walk straight to your death.
"Dumbledore's betrayal was almost nothing." Aha! Harry is aware Dumbledore has betrayed him. Unfortunately, he minimizes the betrayal and then gets to rebuddy up with Dumbles again in the afterlife so Harry, regrettably, forgives him enough to name his son after him. Smh.
Also feels accurate that Harry should have a million thoughts regarding his death before even leaving the room.
"now, Neville would take Harry's place: There would still be three in the secret. 'Just in case they're - busy - and you get the chance -' 'Kill the snake?' 'Kill the snake,' repeated Harry." I love this. Know why I love this? Because, for once in his life, Harry is disobeying Dumbledore's orders. And that one disobey pulls them all to victory.
Unfortunately, Harry is also acting a lot like Dumbles here: giving instructions without giving the reason, keeping the big plan a secret. But we know Harry, Harry doesn't groom or betray. Dumbledore might give his own life and the life of other individuals for the greater good but Harry will give his life and the greater good for the lives of nearly every individual, from house elves to a man who betrayed his family and tried to kill him to the numerous people who have spent years bullying him. If he sees even a sliver of goodness, remorse, growth, or bravery, he will protect them, fight for them, sit beside them as they die. He may become the next Dumbledore, but Harry will be balanced, Harry will never send a life into Death's arms unless it is his own or someone as evil, heartless, and unforgivable as Voldemort.
"Hogwarts was the first and best home he had known. He and Voldemort and Snape, the abandoned boys, had all found home here." At last he includes Snape.
"He closed his eyes and turned the stone over in his hand three times." Now, here is where I talk about Harry's true power; the power he has that the Dark Lord knows not, the power to vanquish the Dark Lord. Not love. Oh no no no no. No, Harry's power is that he is the true Master of Death, and not just through the Deathly Hallows as Xeno told us. Harry is the only known person to survive the Killing Curse, he is the only known person to properly return from the dead, he is the only person to have possessed all three of the Deathly Hallows, the very last person to possess 2 of them, the only known human to have had two souls inside him, the only known human to be used as a Horcrux, the one person who has survived while faced with Voldemort multiple times, he not only survived a basilisk encounter, but slayed the beast too, not only escaped Quirrell with the stone, but fucking murdered the man, destroyed Voldemort's very first Horcrux without even knowing that's what he was doing, he's faced and survived against dragons, achromantulas, sooo many dementors, a rogue bludger, a jinxed broom, blast-ended skrewts, and so many Death Eater encounters. He's a survivor and he is the master of death.
And while Voldemort has spent nearly 3/4 of a century running from death and trying to master death, Harry masters it entirely by a series of chances.
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · which unlocked the Resurrection Stone to him which he used which made him the one true Master of all three of the Deathly H
Dumbledore isn't among the dead who appear before Harry through the stone because he will be there to greet Harry on the other side and Fred isn't there because he'll be with his own family. But does Dobby not being there mean house elves go somewhere else after death? Or, perhaps, Dobby is a free elf, free to be everywhere at once even if his friend Harry Potter cannot see him.
"'I didn't want any of you to die,' Harry said. These words came without his volition. 'Any of you. I'm sorry -'" It is true that so many of the major deaths happen in Harry's defense. From his parents to Sirius to Mad-Eye to Dobby. And now it's Harry's turn to die for the defense of the ones he loves, no more will people have to die protecting him.
It's weird that ghosts can't see him through the Cloak but they can.
"'You cannot despise me more than I despise myself.' 'But I don't despise you -' 'Then you should,' said Dumbledore." He's right, Harry.
"'I, meanwhile, was offered the post of Minister of Magic, not once, but several times. Naturally, I refused. I had learned that I was not to be trusted with power.'" The master of the school through which every magical child in the nation will attend is an arguably far more powerful position than the Minister. The Minister has all sorts of regulations and bureaucracy to hold him in place.
"He did not stir, but remained exactly where he had fallen, with his left arm bent out at an awkward angle and his mouth gaping." Ugh I've always hated playing dead or being completely silent or still scenes. I could stay perfectly silent and still consciously but what if I sneeze? What if I need to itch? What if I twitch? Euugh..
"...he understood. Narcissa knew that the only way she would be permitted to enter Hogwarts, and find her son, was part of the conquering army. She no longer cared whether Voldemort won." I love that Harry understands this right away. It shows how he's matured despite never having been a mother nor having one of his own for long.
Returned from the dead Harry can't feel the Cruciatus Curse? What? Is that because he's the master of the Elder wand or..?
"'And the glasses - put on the glasses - he must be recognizable -'" Voldemort? More like My Girl.
"'NO!' The scream was the more terrible because he had never expected or dreamed that Professor McGonagall could make such a sound." 💔
Ugh, Harry slipping under the Cloak instead of leaping to his feet in front of everyone is way less satisfying.
See, Neville pulling the sword from the hat here raises the question of what happened to Griphook and at what point did the sword leave him? It hasn't even been 24 hours since they escaped Gringotts. That's why another choice I like in he film is they show Griphook bit the dust after Gringotts and the sword vanishes from his cold dead hands.
"And now there were more, even more people storming up the front steps and Harry saw Charlie Weaseley..." AYYYYEEE he didn't miss out!
Damn everyone remembers Voldemort fighting McGonagall, Kingsley, and Slughorn at once but no one ever talks about Hermione, Ginny, and Luna taking on Bellatrix before Molly steps in.
After Nagini and Bellatrix's deaths, what exactly is Voldemort's plan? I mean, even if he did kill Harry, he's out of Horcruxes, his most loyal soldier has fallen, the Malfoys have pretty much switched sides. I guess if he killed Harry, he'd be master of the Elder Wand so I guess he could kill whoever. I'm just wondering if he would still do the whole join me or die thing.
"'You dare-' 'Yes, I dare,' said Harry." Ohhhh he sassssy!
"'Snape's Patronus was a doe,' said Harry, 'the same as my mother's.'" Not ONCE in this entire series is it stated, shown, hinted at, or implied that Lily has a doe Patronus. I have just read this whole series and I was actually looking for and anticipating where it's said that her Patronus is a doe and it never came up before Snape showed his Patronus. Lily's own Patronus never even comes up until this very line. Heck, I just did a search of every book and the word 'doe' never even appears until the chapter title The Silver Doe. And, like I said, not even Harry thought that doe had anything to do with his mother.
"'Does the wand in your hand know its last master was Disarmed? Because if it does... I am the true Master of the Elder Wand.'" *Insert Law and Order musical beat of shock*
Also there's probably a few people listening to this conversation who've never even heard of the Elder Wand and the rest of the crowd is probably like "Elder Wand? You mean from that kid's story? Is that real?"
It is beautiful that for their final duel, neither are using their own wand.
"'I've had enough trouble for a lifetime.'" For fucking sure.
"Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first of September was crisp and golden as an apple... and the breath of pedestrians sparkled like cobwebs in the cold air." WhAt? Has this woman ever touched grass? In what world is the 1st of September cold enough to give you fog breath in London? I live in a part of the world that is definitely colder than London, not Russia or Alaskan cold but I've seen a fair bit of snow in October, but I have never once seen a cold September 1st. Windy? Rainy? Sure, it's possible. But cold? Never.
"Harry thought he heard Percy discouraing loudly on broomstick regulations..." Wait wait what??? Uhh, several questions I have and there is no further elaboration here. Is Percy a conductor? Or a regulator person of some sort? Or is he just there seeing off his kids and being a Karen to other people?
"'Parked alright then?' Ron asked Harry. 'I did. Hermione didn't believe I could pass a Muggle driving test, did you? She thought I'd have to Confund the examiner.'" Omg Harry and Ron both have driver's licenses everybody get the fuck off the road!
I know Albus Severus is a dumb name but it's only there as a quick demonstration of how much Harry has forgiven Snape. But, yeah, Rubeus Fredrick Potter would've been better.
It definitely shows the author's age and boomer-esque values when her story's happy ending is to have all the good guys end up in nuclear marriages with children. Like she can't imagine someone(especially a girl) growing up and NOT getting married and having children. I mean Charlie is the only known character around Harry's age who lives through the war and does neither. I just think Tonks, Ginny, Harry, Luna, Dudley are all characters that, to me, would make more sense to be child free than starting a family. Let Luna travel the world, studying and discovering Fantastic Beasts with her husband, let Harry settle into a quiet life of healing after nearly two decades of pure trauma, let Ginny play professional Quidditch for a decade or two. This is 19 years later and if James Sirius is two years older that Albus Severus then that means he's 13, which means he was born 6 years after the war and the Wiki said Ginny started playing for the Holyhead Harpies in the early 2000s before having kids, which means she only played professionally for a maximum of 4 years and she started her family with Harry at an incredibly young age for a millennial.
This particular book also leaves a LOT of loose ends untied. I know the whole focus is Harry and the war against Lord Thingy but the book introduced a lot of situations that were given little to no resolve. What happened to Kreacher after they escaped from the Ministry? Was he tortured and questioned or did he get away on his own? He wasn't given any orders from his master yet he somehow ended up back in the Hogwarts kitchens with the other elves? What happened to Umbridge? Did Kingsley make sure she was finally removed from her position after he became Minister? What about Draco's wand? Harry has his own wand back now so did he return Draco's? Or is Draco's still loyal to Harry and therefore unusable by Draco? What happened to Griphook? Did he return to his job at Gringotts? Did Xenophilius go back to writing about crazy theories or did he continue praising Harry in the Quibbler? What about Lavender Brown? It was unclear whether she was alive after her attack from Fenrir so is she dead or disabled or a werewolf or werewolf-like like Bill is? Is adult Harry living at Grimmauld Place with his little family or did they buy their own house? Yeah I know we're not meant to know or we were meant to go find further lore on Pottermore or whatever but I like getting ALL the details within the main story.
In conclusion, I can see why the formulation for this story took off so much, especially the first book. And there really wasn't one book that stood out as being significantly worse than the rest but I do know which ones were the most and least enjoyable. Book 5 certainly felt like it dragged on and on and on and almost the entire thing was just finding new ways to make Harry more and more miserable from start to finish. I believed Book 4 was the best when I was a tween and I stand by that now. There's just so much exciting stuff going on in that book, the world really expands with the introduction of other magical schools, the formula is different so there's bigger challenges than just another year of Quidditch and exams and a mystery to solve, there's anxiety and romance and crushes and jealousy and triumph and trauma and grief. And I stand by that none of the couples are well written, not even the established married couples. Sure, Molly and Arthur's marriage definitely feels the most real but there were a couple of little moments where even (please don't kill me) Molly felt a little toxic as a wife and mother, not significantly, there were just a couple moments where the nagging mother/wife thing went a littttttle too far.
Well, if you've read through ALL of this, fucking thank you. I know it was a lot and you didn't have to as I was just making notes at the void. But I do appreciate it. Byyyyeee!
It is by chance that Snape happened to overhear the prophecy, by chance that Aberforth found him eavesdropping before he could hear certain critical points of the prophecy, by chance that when the prophecy was passed to the Dark Lord he immediately figured out who it was about, by chance that the deliverer of the prophecy happened to deeply love the mother of the target, by chance that Snape had the balls to ask the Dark Lord to spare Lily, by chance that the Dark Lord favored Snape enough to give Lily the chance to step aside instead of killing her immediately, by chance that James and Lily happened to switch the secret keeper at the last minute to the very man who would betray them, by chance that they both set their wands down when the Dark Lord comes to their door, by chance that Lily unwittingly put a magical love protection on her son just before the Dark Lord makes his first attempt on his life, by chance that the Dark Lord's soul was already so fragile that it breaks apart instead of dying, by chance that the part of his soul that he left behind could only attach to Harry Potter himself, by chance that Wormtail would hide within the very family that would one day befriend and favor Harry, by chance that Harry's father happened to be the most recent owner of THE Invisibility Cloak, by chance that James lent the Cloak to Dumbledore just before his death so that Dumbledore could gift it back to Harry for his first Christmas at Hogwarts, by chance that Snape clocked what Quirrell was doing at Harry's first Quidditch game and saved Harry's life, by chance that Hermione bumped into Quirrell while trying to stop Snape, by chance that the trio stumbled into Fluffy's room and kicked off their whole investigation, by chance that the only centaur in the Forbidden Forest who likes humans happened to be there to save Harry from Quirrelmort, by chance that Harry suspected Snape enough that he'd be determined to go stop him himself, by chance that Harry did the exact thing he needed to do to procure the stone and stop Quirrelmort from getting it,
it was not by chance that Lucius targeted the Weaseleys by planting the diary among them but it was by chance that he planted it on the only Weaseley who would keep the diary a secret and who was obsessed enough with Harry that she would tell the diary everything about him, by chance that the trio were at Nick's Deathday party so that Harry could follow the basilik's voice up to the message before the rest of the school, by chance that Dobby's bludger broke his arm and Lockhart made it worse so he happened to be in the hospital wing when Colin was petrified and brought in, by chance that Justin was petrified right after meeting Harry and Harry is discovered at the scene which further filled Harry with determination to uncover the truth, by chance that Harry is the one who picked up the diary after Ginny tried to throw it out, by chance that the person Tom Riddle framed was Harry's favorite adult which gave Harry an easy lead to question, by chance that he and Ron were at Hagrid's to witness Fudge and Lucius come to arrest Hagrid and remove Dumbledore so that Hagrid could give them the hint to follow the spiders, by chance that Aragog gave them just enough information to know Hagrid was framed before trying to eat them, by chance they were rescued by the car, by chance that Hermione was holding the page on basilisks in her hand so perfectly hidden for Harry to find at the critical moment, by chance that the trio had spent a few months in the very bathroom haunted by the one fatal victim of the basilisk, by chance that Ron had broken his wand at the start of the year which allowed Lockhart's spell to backfire (seriously imagine what would've happened if he'd succeeded), it was not by chance that Dumbledore sent Fawkes and the hat to Harry but it was by chance that he stabbed the basilisk in the mouth with the sword which impregnated it with basilisk venom and allowed it to be used to destroy three Horcruxes later, by chance that a fang got stuck in Harry's arm and by chance that he decided to use it to destroy the diary,
by chance that the Weaseleys won some money that they decided to use to visit Egypt, by chance that Ron was holding Scabbers when their photo was taken for the Prophet, by chance that Fudge would visit Azkaban while carrying a copy of that issue of the Prophet, by chance that Sirius saw the picture and immediately knew Wormtail was the rat, by chance that Dumbledore hired Lupin at the same time that Sirius was on his way to Hogwarts, by chance that Hermione decided to adopt Crookshanks who would be of help to both Sirius and the trio throughout the year, by chance that the trio sat by Lupin on the train which allowed him to get the Dementor off of Harry, by chance the twins snatched the Maurauder's Map from Filch's office in their first year and by chance they decided to give it to Harry, by chance Trelawney had another prophecy while alone with Harry, by chance the trio were on their way back from Hagrid's when Sirius decided to strike, by chance Lupin was looking at the Map to see Wormtail was with them and where they went, by chance Harry decided to give Wormtail to the dementors instead of letting Sirius kill him and by chance Lupin missed his last dose of Wolfsbane which resulted in Wormtail escaping and returning to his master, by chance Hermione was granted a Time-Turner that year which they used to save Sirius and Buckbeak, by chance Harry was able to cast his Patronus for the first time and save past Sirius and himself,
By chance Barty Crouch's wife was dying right after their son was sentenced to Azkaban and by chance he agreed to her wish to sneak him out, by chance Bertha Jorkins heard Winky talking to Crouch Jr. which Crouch Sr. had to whipe her memory for, by chance she ran into Wormtail in Albania, by chance the Weaseley's World Cup seats were in the Top Box, by chance Jr. regained control in that Top Box and by chance Harry was right in front of him with his wand sticking out of his pocket, by chance the trio were in the woods when Jr. cast the Dark Mark, by chance Jr. and Winky were both stunned which resulted in the circumstance where Sr. was forced to fire Winky and Jr. was able to escape his father to return to his master and do everything else he does over the next year, by chance the Triwizard Tournament was happening that year at Hogwarts at all, by chance Harry decided to take Cedric's advice about the egg on one of the nights Jr. was raiding Snape's supplies which led to Jr. getting and using the Maurauder's Map, by chance Harry decided to save Fleur's sister which tied him and Cedric in first place, by chance Krum pulled Harry aside to talk about Hermione right when Sr. came out of the forest, by chance Harry noticed Dumbledore's Pensieve while alone in his office, by chance Harry and Cedric decided to grab the cup together instead of just Cedric, by chance that the wand that chose Harry was the only wand in existence that shared a twin core with Voldemort's which saved his life in the graveyard and in the Battle of the Seven Potters
by chance Mundungus apparated away while watching Harry which gave Umbridge the chance to unleash the dementors on him, by chance Harry and co. decided to sit with Luna on the train which would lead to her becoming a great friend and essential ally, by chance the Ministry was so paranoid that they issued a teacher onto Hogwarts that would assure the students learned no practical Defense which resulted in the trio taking the job into their own hands by forming the DA which produced a number of people to fight alongside for at least three separate battles, by chance Dobby was familiar with the Room of Requirement when the DA needed a location, by chance that Voldemort realized he had a magical mental connection with Harry that he would use against him, by chance that Harry was so shite at Occlumancy that Voldemort did get to use their mental connection against him, by chance McGonagall and Hagrid were both forced away from the school by Umbridge which created the desperate situation where Harry had to alert Snape to the Sirius situation who alerted the Order, by chance Harry and Hermione got covered in Grawp's blood in the Forest which lured the Thestrals to them which the golden and silver trios rode to the Ministry, by chance that the prophecy was smashed during the battle, by chance that the Order vs Death Eater fight happened in the Veil room and by chance(or perhaps not) Dumbledore didn't subdue Bellatrix before she sent Sirius through the veil, by chance Fudge and other Ministry employees showed up shortly after Voldemort appeared and in the very same room,
by chance Voldemort's mother's family's ring had the Resurrection Stone in it without any of them knowing, by chance Tom Riddle found the ring on his uncle and by chance he turned it into a Horcrux, by chance the stone had the symbol of the Deathly Hallows which allowed Dumbledore to recognize what it was, by chance that Hepzibah had and showed the locket and cup to Tom, by chance Narcissa and Bellatrix insisted that Snape make the unbreakable vow which magically sealed him to the role of Dumbledore's killer, by chance the trio were the only ones at Weaseleys' Wizards Weezes to look outside and notice Draco being sus, by chance that Harry grabbed the Half-Blood Prince's book rather than Ron which led to Harry winning the Felix Felicis and Slughorn's favor which he used to get the memory from Slughorn and to him grabbing a bezoar which was put in Slughorn's bag which saved Ron when Ron was poisoned, by chance the trio were walking right behind Katie Bell when she was cursed by the necklace, by chance Slughorn forgot to gift the poisoned mead to Dumbledore, by chance Ron drank his a second early or all three of them would've been goners, by chance Harry saw Draco in the bathroom with Myrtle while alone and by chance he had been itching to try Sectumsempra on a foe and by chance Snape was the one close enough to hear Myrtle screaming which led to Harry hiding the Half-Blood Prince's book in the Room of Requirement and by very big chance that he used the diadem to mark its hiding place which allowed him to destroy it a year later, by chance Harry ran into Trelawney on his way to meet Dumbledore and by chance she revealed to him that Snape was the one who heard her prophecy, by chance Dumbledore had to let his guard down for 1 second to paralyze Harry which allowed Draco to disarm him which passed the ownership of the Elder Wand to Draco,
by chance Shunpike's face was revealed to Harry while in flight which caused Harry to use Expelliarmus on him instead of a stunning spell which revealed his identity to the Death Eaters who then alerted Voldemort, by chance Harry caught the snitch in his mouth at his first Quidditch game which gave Dumbledore a perfect container to leave Harry the Resurrection Stone in that only he could open, by chance Xenophilius came to the wedding wearing the symbol of the Deathly Hallows and by chance Krum was there to make a big enough deal about it in front of Harry for Harry to remember it which led to the trio to question Xenophilius about it and get the Deathly Hallows explained to them, by chance that Harry had inherited the very house elf who had taken the locket from the cave, by chance Harry and Hermione visited Godric's Hollow and by chance Harry saw and grabbed the picture of Grindelwald which Voldemort found after they escaped and which revealed to Voldemort who had taken the Elder Wand from Gregorovitch, by chance Hermione said Ron's name which the Deluminator used to bring Ron back, by chance Hermione said that they were in the Forest of Dean while opening her bag which Phineas Nigellus heard and alerted Snape to which allowed him to deliver the Sword of Gryffindor to them, by chance Harry accidentally said Voldemort's name right after Griphook was captured by Snatchers which let them all to be taken to the Malfoy's and then escape together, by chance Luna was being kept in the Malfoy's cellar of all places, by chance the piece of mirror fell out of Harry's pouch which he called for help through which allowed Aberforth to send Dobby to rescue them, by chance Harry yoinked Draco's wand which passed the ownership of Draco's wand and the Elder Wand to Harry, by chance they also got Bellatrix's wand and hair which they used to break into her vault and get the cup, by chance Voldemort decided to check on the locket and ring before the diadem which gave Harry the time to get to the school, by chance the Room of Requirement created the tunnel to The Hog's Head that allowed the trio to sneak into the school undetected, by chance Ron thought to use the basilisk fangs to destroy the cup, by chance Crabbe casted the Fiendfyre while they were cornering Harry which destroyed the diadem, by chance Harry made it to just beneath the room in the Shrieking Shack just in time to hear and witness Snape's demise and by chance Voldemort had Snape die slowly instead of immediately and that Voldemort left before Snape died which gave Harry just enough time to get Snape's memories to find out the final critical steps he had to take to defeat Voldemort once and for all, by chance he ran into Neville on his way to the forest and that he suddenly decided to tell Neville to kill the snake, by chance he rembered the snitch while in the forest
which unlocked the Resurrection Stone to him which he used which made him the one true Master of all three of the Deathly Hallows and Master of Death,
by chance a couple of Death Eaters appeared and unknowingly led him to Voldemort, by chance Harry was able to be the one person to make the choice to return from the dead, by chance Harry's sacrifice put the same magical protection on all of his comrades that had been put on him by his mother, by chance Voldemort got the Sorting Hat and placed it on Neville's head for kicks which allowed Neville to pull out the sword and decapitate Nagini, by chance the Resurrection Stone was trampled by centaurs in the forest which made Harry it's final master,
it was not by chance that Harry gave up the Elder Wand and became its final master, and it was not by chance that Harry defeated Voldemort because he was the true Master of the Elder Wand, the true Master of all three of the Deathly Hallows, the true Master of Death almost entirely through a very great series of chances.
Omg my cat Marbles
And they both want to get railed by an 8ft tall inked up demon lord while wearing chunky black healed boots and a leather dog collar
Tis a shame everyone wastes all their good screams in their first decade and we don't realize until it's too late we shoulda saved them for later
See what you gotta do is drop singular pieces of lore about yourself every few months without elaborating
Nah Quasimodo's living situation is actually kinda ideal
Has a whole tower to himself, that's multiple floors and rooms, he pays no rent, no bills, all his food and clothes are brought directly to him for free, he only interacts with 1 person, he has balconies and access to outside, he can spy on all the people on the ground below but they can't see or interact with him, the only noise his downstairs neighbors make is singing in Latin, he only has one task he's gotta do and he only has to do it a couple times a day leaving him plenty of time for his hobbies.
Reblog if you would happily trade lives with Quasimodo.
Book 1
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, cauldron, and top-of-the-range Nimbus 2000 broomstick had be
Book 3
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets · 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes
Book 4
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Reblog by @the-core-of · Books 1 and 2 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, c
Book 5
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Order of the Phoenix part 2 · "'Snape?' said Harry blankly. 'Professor Snape, dear,' said Mrs. Weaseley reprovingly." It's
Book 6
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Half-Blood Prince part 2 · "'Percy definitely not showing his ugly face, then?' asked Fred. Mrs. Weaseley turned away befor
The Deathly Hallows part 1
There are 36 chapters plus one Epilogue in this book and it takes 29 to get to Hogwarts.
I like it when the books don't start with Harry but it's funny that only 3 of the 7 books actually do. PS starts with the Dursleys, CoS and PoA start with Harry, GoF starts with the Riddle House, OotP starts with Harry, HBP starts with the Ministers, and DH starts with the Death Eater meeting.
"The high hedge curved with them, running off into the distance beyond the pair of impressive wrought-iron gates barring the men's way. Neither of them broke step: In silence both raised their left arms in a kind of salute and passed straight through, as though the dark metal were smoke." That's some pretty cool magic and honestly perfect security for a cult matching magical ink.
But can you imagine thinking a gate has that spell on it but it's just a normal gate so you walk right into it? Good luck being a cool bad guy after that embarrassment. Ha!
"Gravel crackled beneath their feet as Snape and Yaxley sped toward the front door..." Idk I don't think gravel really suits the Malfoy's or Malfoy Manor. You'd think they'd have something nicer lining their paths like cobble.
"'There have been too many mistakes where Harry Potter is concerned. Some of them have been my own.'" A-alot... alot of them have been your mistakes, Lord Thingy.
"...its[Nagini's] eyes, with their vertical slits for pupils, unblinking." Now she gets it, six books later.
"Bellatrix leaned toward Voldemort, for mere words could not demonstrate her longing for closeness." Back off, sister, if anyone's gonna 'slither in' his bed, it'll be me.
"'I'm talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa. She has married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud.'" Daaaamn Lord Thingy knows exactly how to push THEIR buttons. With the 'you must be so proud'.
"'What say you, Draco,' asked Voldemort, and though his voice was quiet, it carried clearly through the catcalls and jeers. 'Will you babysit the cubs?'" Oh my GOD! I need more of THIS Voldemort. I need more Voldemort the bully. He's so cunty.
"'Many of our oldest family trees become diseased over time. You must prune yours, must you not, to keep it healthy. Cut away those parts that threaten the health of the rest.'" Well SOMEBODY was paying attention in Herbology.
"There was a crunch of breaking china: He[Harry] had trodden on a cup of cold tea that had been sitting on the floor outside his bedroom door." Despite being British, I like to believe that that was Dudley's first time actually making a cup of tea, y'know, being spoiled rotten, Petunia always would've made everything for him from his bed to his tea. Bit amusing to imagine Dudley trying to come up with a gesture for Harry but realizing he has no idea what Harry likes that doesn't have to do with magic or the wizarding world before Dudley's like "...tea... yeah. Everybody likes a cup of tea... now how do I do that?"
"He had never learned to repair wounds, and now he came to think of it - particularly in light of his immediate plans - this seemed a serious flaw in his magical education." And one of MANY.
"I met Albus Dumbledore at the age of eleven, on our first day at Hogwarts. Our mutual attraction was undoubtedly due to the fact that we both felt ourselves outsiders." Ah, so Grindelwald wasn't the first.
"Being outshone was an occupational hazard of being his friend and cannot have been any more pleasurable as a brother." That is a great way to put it lol.
"Skeeter was certainly quick on the mark. Her nine-hundred-page book was completed a mere four weeks after Dumbledore's mysterious death." 900 pages in 4 weeks??? That's 225 pages per week, 32 pages a day! If she worked 8 hours a day, that'd be 4 pages an hour. On a really good day I can maybe write 4 pages in 1 day.
"He glanced over his shoulder, but the wall was a sickly peach color of Aunt Petunia's choosing." Oh no there's a room in my house with walls a sickly peach color!
Hmm the narrator in this book keeps referring to Vernon as "Vernon Dursley" as opposed to "Uncle Vernon" like in all the previous books.
"'House prices are skyrocketing around here! You want us out of the way and then you're going to do a bit of hocus-pocus and before we know it the deeds will be in your name and-'" In THIS economy, Harry will regret not doing that.
"'You claim,' said Uncle Vernon, starting to pace yet again, 'that this Lord Thing-'" Omg no way! Of course Vernon calls him Lord Thing, too!
"'Even the fogs - they're caused by dementors, and if you can't remember what they are, ask your son!'" Ohhhhhh!
"'Dad,' said Dudley in a loud voice, 'Dad - I'm going with these Order people.' 'Dudley,' said Harry, 'for the first time in your life, you're talking sense.'" Probably because its the first time he's articulating his own thoughts rather than what his parents and 'friends' have fed into his head.
"...then poked a couple of owl nuts through the bars of Hedwig's cage." Tf is an owl nut?
"'See you, Harry.'" I mean Dudley has no memory of Harry not living there and being part of his family. They go to different schools the rest of the year but when Dudley comes home for the summer, Harry's always there, even if only for a month or a fortnight. I don't think Dudley can even comprehend the idea of never seeing Harry again.
"She[Petunia] stopped and looked back. For a moment Harry had the strangest feeling that she wanted to say something to him. She gave an odd tremulous look and seemed to teeter on the edge of speech, but then, with a little jerk of her head, she bustled out of the room after her husband and son." Yeah I just realized the other day that Harry being left on their doorstep was HOW she found out her sister was dead. In fact, the moment she saw the baby there, and saw that he had Lily's green eyes, she probably immediately knew what it meant before she even read Dumbledore's note. I wonder if that's HER true reason for hating Harry: him being there was a constant reminder of the loss of her one and only sister. But that's just a theory...
It's interesting that Harry Potter is known, to the real world, for sleeping under the stairs despite only doing so for such a small section of the franchise. Up to 10 years of his life, sure, but only for two chapters of the actual story.
But I like that Harry does go visit it one last time before leaving Privet Drive. It's definitely something most of us would do despite the horrendous nature of the experience: looking back on where he started, reflecting on how far he's come.
"'You got married?' Harry yelped, looking from her to Lupin." They weren't even together less than a month ago and now they're married. God I hate this plot so fucking much. I don't hate Teddy Lupin as a character, just the reason he exists. And I certainly don't hate Lupin or Tonks or even Lupin and Tonks as a couple, heck they COULD'VE been my favorite couple if they'd been done right and put together for the right reason.
Okay so the Trace detects magic used by or around anyone under 17. But, as we know from the last book, does not detect the caster of the magic.
"'So, we've given a dozen different houses every protection we can throw at them. They all look like they could be the place we're going to hide you, they've all got connection with the Order: my[Moody's] house, Kingsley's place, Molly's Aunt Muriel's.'" I mean, between Snape, Wormtail, and the Malfoy's, I don't think Lord Thingy can be fooled about where Harry's going to stay. They ALL know Harry has spent every other summer at the Burrow until now, it's the place filled with people who know him and like him best, AND there's a wedding coming up AT the Burrow. Why would Harry stay anywhere other than the Burrow?
"'This is different, pretending to be me-' 'Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry,' said Fred earnestly. 'Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever.'" Ah yes, perfect way to give Harry some perspective. What's worse than dying for him? Why, getting stuck in his twink body, of course.
"'Our only chance is to use decoys. Even You-Know-Who can't split himself into seven.'" Oh....... really?????????
"'Miss Granger with Kingsley...'" Damn how did she get Prime Minister level protection? I'd get it if she was going as Hermione the Muggle-born but she's going as one of 7 Harry's.
"Hermione had already been helped up onto a great black thestral by Kingsley." Can Hermione, or Ron, Fred, or George, even see thestrals yet? They weren't in the room when Sirius died and I don't recall any of them actually witnessing a death so far.
"A second's relief, and then another burst of green light. The owl screeched and fell to the floor of the cage." Yeah, Hedwig is probably the most unexpected death. They only left Privet Drive 69 seconds ago and boom! lights out for her. Didn't even get to leave her cage.
"...and the remaining Death Eater shot a curse so close to Harry that he had to duck below the rim of the car, knocking out a tooth on the edge of his seat." Just drink some milk.
Harry mistaking Andromeda for Bellatrix makes me realize he hasn't actually seen her since she killed Sirius. I also wonder if anyone else has made the same mistake. Y'know, like right after the breakouts, people would basically be seeking Bellatrix and the others, see Andromeda... you get the idea.
Ah, so Ted at least calls her 'Dromeda.
"'Haven't go' any brandy, have yeh, Molly?' asked Hagrid a little shakily. 'Fer medicinal purposes?'" Mmm yes... medicinal purposes.
I don't think Harry has ever been more defendant of an individual that wasn't Dumbledore, his parents, or his besties than he is of Stan Shunpike. You mess with Shunpike and Harry Potter will make an enemy out of you.
"'The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?' ''Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him,'' said Lupin calmly." Hmmmm right after yelling at Harry for his judgment to use Expelliarmus... a sign, perhaps?
"'Snape's work,' said Lupin. 'Snape?' shouted Harry. 'You didn't say-' 'He lost his hood during the chase. Sectumsempra was always a specialty of Snape's.'" Wait, the Maurauders know about Sectumsempra and they at least know Snape uses it a lot? That's right, he used it on James in his worst memory. But they didn't know the name Half-Blood Prince and they didn't know Snape was the inventor of Levicorpus or where it came from. This is just... idk... they know some stuff but not all of it but...
"'Now, Ron, have you cleaned out your room yet?' 'Why?' exclaimed Ron, slamming his spoon down and glaring at his mother. 'Why does my room have to be cleaned out? Harry and I are fine with it the way it is!' 'We are holding your brother's wedding here in a few days' time, young man-' 'And are they getting married in my bedroom?' asked Ron furiously." Ahhhh classic.
Gee, I remembered about Mad-Eye dying but I didn't remember his body isn't recovered. That makes Umbridge having his eye later even more fucked up because it means she got to it first and didn't tell anyone, or she maybe Accio'd it.
"'Of course,' said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. 'I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library.'" Did... did Ron actually just say Voldemort? Without even realizing? Without anybody realizing or acknowledging? Ron's never said his name before.
You can undo a Horcrux just by....... being remorseful? Just by..... feeling really bad? No other step and the pain of it can destroy you. Huh... idk how I feel about that. Feel like there should or would at least be another step.
"'While the magical container is still intact, the bit of soul inside it can flit in and out of someone if they get too close to the object. I don't mean holding it for too long, it's nothing to do with touching it. I mean close emotionally. Ginny poured her heart out into that diary, she made herself incredibly vulnerable. You're in trouble if you get too fond of or dependent on the Horcrux.'" Just making a note of this for fanfiction purposes...
"Harry seized the wand lying beside his camp bed, pointed it at the cluttered desk where he had left his glasses, and said, 'Accio Glasses!'" I used to set my glasses down in random spots without thinking and then couldn't find them. Accio glasses would've saved me hours of searching.
Also, the first spell Harry Potter performs as an adult wizard. Simple but fitting.
"'Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches. Explains everything you need to know about girls... You'd be surprised, it's not all about wandwork, either.'" Is THAT what they call it in the wizarding world? 🤣
Also, Ron, THAT'S the book you give the guy who's kinda sorta dating your sister?? Hmmm.
"'It's traditional to give a wizard a watch when he comes of age,' said Mrs. Weaseley." Ah, that's what I thought. Wonder if Dumbledore's is the same one he's had since he was 17.
"'Harry, will you come in here a moment?' It was Ginny. Ron came to an abrupt halt, but Hermione took him by the elbow and tugged him on up the stairs." 🤣🤣🤣
"She was not tearful; that was one of the many wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy." I mean, ig we all have our preferences but, like, poor Cho. She had a pretty good reason to be weepy even if crying made Harry uncomfortable.
"...watching Mrs. Weaseley force Charlie into a chair, raise her wand threateningly, and announce that he was about to get a proper haircut." NooooOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
"...said Hagrid as he accepted a bucket-sized glass of wine from Fred." Well, since you're handing them out...
"Harry flicked his wand at the oil lamps as he entered and they illuminated the shabby but cozy room." What exactly is the point of the Deluminator if this basic magic exists? I mean why is it more special than this spell and the counter-spell that presumably exists? Other than the whole ball of light that brings Ron back to the others of course.
I mean my best guess is if you put out a light with the Deluminator, only the Deluminator can put it back but even that doesn't sound that brilliant.
"'It belongs to Harry!' said Hermione hotly. 'It chose him, he was the one who found it, it came to him out of the Sorting Hat-' 'According to reliable historical sources, the sword may present itself to any worthy Gryffindor,' said Scrimgeour." You'd think Hermione would've known that.
"'You may wear that scar like a crown, Potter, but it is not up to a seventeen-year-old boy to tell me how to do my job! It's time you learned some respect!' 'It's time you earned it,' said Harry." OHHHHHHHHHHH! Did Harry just "Ok Boomer" the fucking Minister? Legend!
Lol everyone at Harry's birthday dinner gets to check out the three items Dumbles left the trio. Imagine Hagrid holding the Snitch like a pea up to his eye and the Delecours trying not to grimace at the old copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard.
"A host of white-robed waiters had arrived an hour earlier, along with a golden-jacketed band, and all of these wizards were currently sitting a short distance away under a tree; Harry could see a blue haze of pipe smoke issuing from the spot." Oh you know that's where the REAL party is.
"'Excellent, I think I see a few veela cousins,' said George, craning his neck for a better look. 'They'll need help understanding our English customs, I'll look after them...' 'Not so fast, Your Holeyness,' said Fred, and darting past the gaggle of middle-aged witches heading the procession, he said, 'Here - permettez moi to assister vous,' to a pair of pretty French girls." Those lucky filles.
"'Xenophilius Lovegood,'" And here we see the peak of JKR's 'ingenious' on-the-nose character naming with a name that means 'Love of the Strange'. But I believe the literal translation of his name would be 'Strangelove Lovegood'.
"'Talking about Muriel?' Inquired George, reemerging from the marquee with Fred. 'Yeah, she's just told me my ears are lopsided. Old bat.'" Yeah no SHIT, Muriel!
I'm surprised Madam Maxime isn't at the wedding.
Krum's English seems to have gotten, like, a lot better in the last few years.
But I totally forgot the Deathly Hallows' symbol was Grindelwald's symbol. Makes sense of course though.
"'Vot,' he said, draining his goblet and getting to his feet again, 'is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?'" 🤣 That is a damn good question! At least he's not the type to go for a girl he knows is taken.
"He[Harry] had never been to a wedding before..." Yeahhh I didn't attend a wedding until I was 21.
"'Now, if Kendra hadn't died first,' Muriel resumed, 'I'd have said that it was she who finished off Ariana-' 'How can you, Muriel?' groaned Doge. 'A mother kill her own daughter? Think what you're saying!'" Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you'd be surprised.
"'Draco, give Rowle another taste of our displeasure... Do it, or feel my wrath yourself!'" Lord Thingy would've made such a GREAT dad.
"Could Dumbledore have let such things happen? Had he been like Dudley, content to watch neglect and abuse as long as it did not affect him? Could he have turned his back on a sister who was being imprisoned and hidden?" Wow... I know Aberforth clears up a lot about the Dumbledores and everything later but I can't remember most of the details (Albus can't be that terrible if Harry names his son after him). But to compare him to Dudley like that is really... wow.
"Had Dumbledore actually cared about Harry at all? Or had Harry been nothing more than a tool to be polished and honed, but not trusted, never confided in?" Ooh, Harry, about that...
"There were many pictures of Muggle motorcycles, and also (Harry had to admire Sirius's nerve) several posters of bikini-clad Muggle girls." This is the only thing out of the books, that I can recall, that points to Sirius not being gay. But bi or in the broom closet is not out of the question.
"You know it only rises about two feet off the ground, but he nearly killed the cat and he smashed a horrible vase Petunia sent me for Christmas (no complaints there)." Ohhhh, now THAT'S interesting. Petunia WAS in contact with her sister after getting married, even sending her Christmas gifts. Perhaps out of social obligation enforced by their parents but still. And she got her a vase. A VASE! Even if the vase wasn't in Lily's taste, a vase is still a pretty classy item to gift someone you're estranged from. She could've sent her nothing or a tissue and a toothpick.
Omg Lily calls Wormtail 'Wormy'. That's adorable.
"'Ron! I've found him!' Ron's annoyed voice echoed distantly from several floors below. 'Good! Tell him from me he's a git!'" 🤣🤣🤣 Oh you can't fake that kind of Weaseley charm.
"The Black family crest was painstakingly painted over the bed, along with its motto, TOUJOURS PUR." Apparently that's 'always pure'. I don't reckon the Blacks were the most creative.
"'Back in my Mistress's old house with the blood-traitor Weaseley and the Mudblood-' 'I forbid you to call anyone 'blood traitor' or 'Mudblood',' growled Harry." I mean I get it, they're slurs, but, from a house elf's master, that's VERY forced censorship. I'm not saying Harry's wrong to do it but i do feel the need to point it out.
"'...and when he was sixteen years old, Master Regulus joined the Dark Lord.'" And yet everyone was questioning Harry for thinking Lord Thingy would recruit Draco because he was 16? Either nobody, including Arthur and the Order, knew that Regulus was a Death Eater at 16 or they all stupid.
Regulus heard Lord Thingy treated his House Elf like a lab monkey and said 'Aw hellllll nawwww dawg not on my watch!'
"'They're staking out everywhere that's got any connection with you, Harry.'" So, not counting Hogwarts... Grimmauld Place, The Burrow, Privet Drive, Godric's Hallow... MAYBE the Leaky Cauldron?
"'Why didn't Voldemort declare himself Minister of Magic?' asked Ron." Again, Ron said his name without anyone acknowledging it.
"'Now that Dumbledore is dead, you - the Boy Who Lived - were sure to be the symbol and rallying point for any resistance to Voldemort. But by suggesting that you had a hand in the old hero's death, Voldemort has not only set a price on your head, but sown doubt and fear amongst many who would have defended you.'" Finally, a plan from the Dumbass Terrorist that's actually good.
"'But how are they[Muggle-borns] supposed to have 'stolen' magic?' said Ron. 'It's mental, if you could steal magic there wouldn't be any Squibs, would there?'" Yeah, that's the same kind of dumbass political theory as, like, vaccines causing autism or flat earth theory.
"Hermione, however, looked puzzled. 'But what about Tonks?' she asked. 'What about her?' said Lupin." Oh. My. FUCKING. God. Oh my actual fucking god. I can't even find the words to express my frustration with this. Like, it's actually so much worse than I remember. I don't even remember hating this plot line or the couple as a kid, and I don't recall having any qualms with it as a teenager but... my god. I can't believe I'm saying this but... this might actually be worse than Twilight. Okay, not worse than Jacob imprinting on a baby but everything else? At least arguably. Like, at least when Bella gets pregnant with his monster baby, Edward actually sticks around and takes care of her in addition to getting his entire family to also take care of her even though he's the most terrified he's been in his 100 years of life.
I mean I only remember Lupin trying to leave because he was scared about the whole werewolf baby thing but that exchange... their whole relationship is just- JUST red flags.
"'Tonks is going to have a baby.'" Okay... okay... I've been waiting for this moment cuz I've got some things to say here. Lupin and Tonks got together the night of/day after Dumbledore's death, and Dumbledore died at the end of June. It is currently the 5th of August, which means they have been together for about a month and a few days. And at a month and few days, they[Lupin and Tonks] already know, they already KNOW???? that Tonks is pregnant? And from the descriptions of Lupin and Tonks at Harry's birthday, they already knew then. So not only was Tonks already pregnant but they already knew she was pregnant at one single month? Alright, now, lemme explain something. At the time of writing this, I had just gone through being 3 weeks late, as in I went almost 2 months in between periods. 2 MONTHS. And even though my partner and I are careful, I know that some things can still happen so, for those 3 weeks, I was like ????????? at my body. BUT it is also not super unusual for my period to skip a single month for other reasons so not until I have skipped 2 full months, as in no period for like 2.5 months, would I start going, okay I definitely need to get a test/go to the doctor/do whatever I'm gonna do. The point is 1 month is REALLY soon to know that you are pregnant. Most women do not KNOW they're pregnant at 1 month unless they're going to the doctor every 5 weeks or less. Not only that, but(I'm sure the rate would be very different in the wizarding world) a LOT of pregnancies are miscarried in the first 3 months. So, even if I did get pregnant, announcing it publicly at 1 month is, to ME, kind of insane. Did I mention how much I hate this fucking plot? Just... too hasty, man.
"'I - I have made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment and I have regretted it very much ever since.'" Yeah, me too. But you're a little late, Moon Moon.
Harry yelling at Lupin is definitely the only thing that could've diffused my own anger, if only it had gone on longer.
But the fact Ron and Hermione both reprimand Harry for doing so shows they really don't have the same personal history as him. Percy is the only person in Ron's life who's abandoned him and Hermione doesn't seem very affected by having to send her parents away. Heck, I'm pretty sure neither one of them have actually witnessed a death yet.
"Broken images were racing each other through his mind: Sirius falling through the veil; Dumbledore suspended, broken, in midair; a flash of green light and his mother's voice, begging for mercy- 'Parents,' said Harry, 'shouldn't leave their kids unless - unless they've got to.'" We must protect this boy and STOP KILLING THE PEOPLE HE LOVES.
"The baby, Ariana, was little longer than a loaf of bread and no more distinctive-looking." 😅 great description 👍.
Kreacher is now cleaning the house and cooking for the trio and Hermione is staying conveniently silent about it...
The narrator pointing out Snape is in Dumbledore's office with the Pensieve is making me think of other ways he could've gotten his memories to Harry because I know it's VERY lucky Harry gets to him in the nick of time. I'm thinking now, in September, would've been a good time to put his memories in a vile and seal the vile with a spell that assures only Harry Potter can open it, then Snape would keep the vile hidden on his person until he judged it was time to get it to Harry, then he could send it to Harry via that one spell that transports items or by anonymous owl with a note, telling him to look at it in the Pensieve. Yeah, Ik I'm getting ahead of things here but I had the idea and wanted to get it down cuz I'll probably forget by the time I get to that part of the story.
"'Unless,' said Ron, 'she's[Umbridge] found a way of opening it and she's now possessed.' 'Wouldn't make any difference to her, she was so evil in the first place,' Harry shrugged." Glad we're all in agreement 😅.
"'I want Gregorovitch.' 'Er wohnt hier nicht mehr!' she cried, shaking her head. 'He no live here! He no live here! I know him not!'" Uhhhhh most Deutsche people can English fluently. There's no reason for her English to be that broken. You'd think a woman who lives one big swim and one big bike ride away from Deutschland would know that.
"'Where is he?' 'Das weiß ich niche! He move! I know not, I know not!'" Even if there are some Deutsche people who speak little to no English, Lord Thingy is speaking English to her and she's understanding him perfectly so WHY is she only able to speak it like she started learning it yesterday?
Okay 3 times means Ron is really just freely saying Voldemort's name. I'm just salty the story doesn't make this a bigger deal because he was still wincing at the name right up to the end of the last book.
"They found Hermione downstairs in the kitchen. She was being served coffee and hot rolls by Kreacher..." 👀
"She pulled out a set of old robes Kreacher had laundered for them..." So house elves can and do do laundry without being freed. But how in the world does that work?
"There was no author's name on the pamphlet, but again, the scars on the back of his right hand seemed to tingle as he examined it." Interesting, Harry's scar from Umbridge tingles when Umbridge is involved but there's no Umbridge Horcrux in him. Plus, he's under Polyjuice Potion at this moment so he doesn't even physically have the scars. Must be a psychological thing or some other magic-related thing.
"Harry looked too and rage reared in him like a snake. Where there might have been a peephole on a Muggle front door, a large, round eye with a bright blue iris had been set into the wood - an eye that was shockingly familiar to anyone who had known Alastor Moody." Yeah, that'd piss off anyone, to see a unique item that belonged to a dead person you knew and cared about in the possession of the person in the world you loathe the most... Dolores certainly continues to be the absolute worst.
"The walls bore the same ornamental plates, each featuring a highly colored, beribboned kitten, gamboling and frisking with sickening cuteness." Sickening cuteness eh? I suppose if there is such a thing, it would be in Umbridge's office.
"The doors opened and Mr. Weaseley walked inside, talking to an elderly witch whose blonde hair was teased so high it resembled an anthill. '...I quite understand what you're saying, Wakanda...'" W-w-w-Wakanda???? Forever?
"The Patronus, he was sure, was Umbridge's, and it glowed brightly because she was so happy here, in her element, upholding the twisted laws she had helped to write." Indeed. Unfortunately, I fear Umbridge was not but one who managed to slip through the cracks, it is precisely people like Umbridge for whom these positions are created. It's not nearly often enough that we get someone like Shacklebolt who ends up in the position that he does.
It is a shame and a waste that Umbridge doesn't at least lose her job here.
Man, Harry leading all the Muggle-borns and their families out of the Ministry is so good. We rarely get to see him be that kind of hero.
"As the balding wizard lifted his wand, Harry raised an enormous fist and punched him, sending him flying through the air." For one single shining second in his entire life, Harry got to feel like Dudley.
"Harry opened his eyes and was dazzled by gold and green." Ah shit he's in a Wisconsin man cave.
Harry realizes he's in a forest and immediately assumes its the Forbidden Forest. The Boy Who Lived? More like The Boy Who Needs to Touch Grass More.
Even if Yaxley and the Death Eaters can get in Grimmauld Place now, Harry could still summon Kreacher back to him to at least make sure he's safe. Then maybe keep him during the travels. He was already feeding them and everything so why not continue?
Aw Ron being all concerned about the Cattermoles is so sweet.
Does the locket really HAVE to be kept around their necks? Yeah, they need to keep it safe but surely it would be better to keep it in Harry's little pouch that only he can open. Then maybe it would or maybe it wouldn't have such a negative effect.
"What if the Death Eaters tortured the elf? Sick images swarmed into Harry's head and he tried to push these away too, for there was nothing he could do for Kreacher." Bullshit you can literally summon him away.
"He and Hermione had already decided against trying to summon him; what if someone from the Ministry came too?" Sure it's possible but I think highly unlikely, if a torture or interrogation is happening, it's most likely by magic. But just for the risk of being found, they're just going to leave the elf to let him be tortured.
"'I have it not, I have it no more! It was, many years ago, stolen from me!'" Really? Gregorovitch has the broken English too? How did it take so long to cancel this woman?
Harry describes young Grindelwald as handsome because of course he does. Harry will never fail to notice when a young man is handsome.
Damn, Harry buries Moody's eye in the woods. Closest he'll get to a proper burial I guess.
Imagine, instead of the locket, it was the diadem they found first and they each had to take turns wearing that everywhere 😅. Or Hufflepuff's cup, what would they do with that to keep it safe? Convenient the one they have to hold onto for months and months is the one they gotta wear right next to their hearts.
"'It's not stealing, is it?' asked Hermione in a troubled voice, as they devoured scrambled eggs on toast. 'Not if I left some money under the chicken coop?'" UNDER the chicken coop? Blimey, Hermione, at least leave it somewhere they'll find it.
"'Yeah, his school! It was his first real home, the place that meant he was special; it meant everything to him, and even after he left-' 'This is You-Know-Who we're talking about, right? Not you?' Inquired Ron." 👀Ooooooh.
"'He wouldn't have hidden a Horcrux here,' Harry said. He had known it all along: The orphanage had been the place Voldemort had been determined to escape; he would never have hidden part of his soul there. Dumbledore had shown Harry that Voldemort sought grandeur or mystique in his hiding places.'" See, writing-wise, I would have taken the route, there, that Harry has an understanding of the way Voldemort thinks without Dumbledore having to teach him. I would've written that Harry knew Voldemort would never hide a part of his soul at the orphanage for the same reason Harry would never leave something that important to him at Number 4 Privet Drive.
"And Ron would turn away, making no effort to hide his disappointment. Harry knew Ron was hoping to hear news of his family or the rest of the Order of the Phoenix..." Hey, no news is good news.
Finding it really hard to believe neither Harry, nor Lord Thingy, or even Gregorovitch knows Grindelwald by site. Alright ig Harry wouldn't bc he would've just been a historical figure and probably only pictures him as an old man since he's Dumble's age. But Riddle was at Hogwarts during that war, he surely would've seen photos of Grindelwald in the Prophet or wanted posters or fliers or whatever. But Gregorovitch???? The man who would've made and sold Grindelwald his original wand and then also seen Grindelwald's face all over during the war? Did Gregorovitch spend his life making wands under a rock? Imagine it's the 1990's and you witness Osama Bin Laden breaking into your home and stealing your most prized possession, and then you see his face on the news and stuff for the next 15 years, but when someone asks you about it, you're like 'yeah, no clue who that guy was'.
Heh, people call Xenophilius 'Xeno'. I like that.
"There were moments when he did not know whether he angrier with Ron or with Dumbledore. *We thought you knew what you were doing... We thought Dumbledore had told you what to do... We thought you had a real plan!*" Way to go, Dumbles, you destroyed the dream team.
Also, expectations are one of the biggest destroyers of a relationship. So just.. uh... just don't have expectations of other people ever.
"She was curled up in one of the sagging armchairs with The Tales of Beedle the Bard. He could not imagine how much more she could get out of the book..." Well, maybe if you guys had some open discussions about the contents of the book, a clue might reveal itself. Just saying.
"'Harry, did you ever open A History of Magic?' 'Erm,' he said, smiling for what felt like the first time in months... 'I might've opened it, you know, when I bought it... just the once...'" Lol Harry is such a jock.
"'Remember what Muriel said?' he asked eventually. 'Who?' 'You know,' he hesitated: He did not want to say Ron's name. 'Ginny's great-aunt.'" Lol, also could've said Mrs. Weaseley's aunt.
"...looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them." Yes. So close. She was so close to perfection there. But she couldn't have her main hero actually wishing he was dead and buried with his parents, only CLOSE to wishing it. But anyone who has lost one or both parents at a tragically young age knows you're not CLOSE to wishing such a thing, you spend your life constantly, subtly and in the back of your mind, but ALWAYS wishing you were with them.
"Harry thought of A History of Magic; the graveyard was supposed to be haunted: what if-?" Harry Potter, you have spent 60 months of your life living in a castle that is absolutely teaming with ghosts. Do not start acting like you're scared of ghosts.
"By all the rules of normal magic, meanwhile, she ought not to be able to see Hermione and him at all. Nevertheless, Harry had the strangest feeling she knew that they were there, and also who they were." Well duh she knows you're there if she can see your prints in the snow.
"Harry raised his wand, but as he did so, his scar seared more painfully, more powerfully than it had done in years. 'He's coming! Hermione he's coming!'" Soooo this may be a bad time but umm... d-do ya think... do you think maybe if Lord Thingy uh... were to... ummm... do you think if Voldemort were to...... get it on... c-could Harry.... N-n-no nevermind......
"'Nice costume, mister!'" Everyone wonders why Lord Thingy waited so long to call upon the Potters when Wormtail would've revealed their location to him ages ago. The real reason is Voldemort does not dare walk down a Muggle street on ANY night but Halloween.
"Beneath the robe he fingered the handle of his wand... One simple movement and the child would never reach his mother... but unnecessary, quite unnecessary..." I like to think he's constantly suppressing the urge to Avada Kedavra every person in front of him. Like it's a constant itch he only dares to scratch when he really needs to or he loses his temper.
"He could hear her screaming from the upper floor, trapped, but as long as she was sensible, she, at least, had nothing to fear." Omg see! See? He fully intended to spare Lily as Snape requested! Still pretty dumbass of him to predict that a mother would step aside to let her defenseless baby be killed but he did never know the love of a mother and he does believe death is the worst, worse than losing someone else to death.
"The child began to cry: It had seen that he was not James. He did not like it crying, he had never been able to stomach the small ones whining at the orphanage." Ooooooh. That's interesting. Wonder why that is. Now I really wished we got more in depth Dark Lord pov.
"'Once we were up in the room, the snake sent a message to You-Know-Who, I heard it happen inside my head, I felt him get excited, he said to keep me there... and then...'" Well all Nagini had to do was stay in Bathilda's body until Voldypop got there and then Harry and Hermione wouldn've gotten away in time.
"Impenetrable, unhelpful, useless, like everything else Dumbledore had left him." Ha-ha!
"On the subject, however, Bathilda is well worth the effort I put into procuring Veritaserum, for she, and she alone, knows the full story of the best-kept secret of Albus Dumbledore's life." Does Skeeter think Aberforth is dead or something? She doesn't mention even trying to get in touch with him for the book, just puts all her eggs in the Bathilda basket. A great researcher pulls from as many sources as she possibly can. Or at least more than one.
"As Grindelwald never extended his campaign of terror to Britain, however, the details of his rise to power are not widely known." Fine, I'll buy Harry and Lord Thingy not knowing who he is, but still haven't filled in the plot hole of Gregorovitch not knowing his face.
"'I thought you'd say 'They were young.' They[Dumbledore and Grindelwald] were the same age as we are now. And here we are, risking our lives to fight the Dark Arts, and there he was, in a huddle with his new best friend, plotting their rise to power over the Muggles.'" Harry, once again, not accepting age as an excuse for bad behavior or bad decisions. Man, Luna is the only truly good person he names any of his kids after, and guaranteed that was Ginny's choice.
"'Look what he asked from me, Hermione! Risk your life, Harry! And again! And again! And don't expect me to explain everything, just trust me blindly, trust that I know what I'm doing, trust me even though I don't trust you! Never the whole truth! Never!'" So, a couple of days ago, I came to my own little realization about Dumbles. You know how Dumbledore was the 'only one Voldemort ever feared'? Well, what if Voldemort was afraid of him, not because Dumbledore was more powerful than Voldemort, but because, in many ways, Dumbledore is just like Voldemort but... BETTER? For example, in HBP, Dumbledore explains to Harry that many of Voldemort's followers believe themselves to be 'special' or to have a 'special connection' to the Dark Lord. Barty Crouch Jr., Bellatrix, and Lucius, being the most prime examples. But, in Dumbledore's words, Lord Voldemort does not have friends. Meaning Voldemort leads people to believe that they are special to him so that they will do whatever he asks, but once they are no longer useful or they fail, he discards, punishes or 'demotes' them as with Crouch Jr. and Lucius and a number of others. Now, what if Dumbledore has been doing mostly the same thing for most of his life? Just without the violent and deadly punishments? Hagrid, Harry, Snape, the Maurauders, even McGonagall, he draws them in with the illusion of favor and the delicate disclosure of certain secrets. Only you can be trusted with this information, only you can help me with this problem, only you are special. But he never truly lets them in, he gives them everything, protection, confidence, the illusion of freedom and choices, everything but himself. Perhaps out of fear of repeating his same mistakes with Grindelwald? Or for any other number of reasons. But he shares just enough for them to feel like he trusts them, trusts them more than others, forcing them to trust in him above all else... just like Voldemort...
"'Where are we?' 'The Forest of Dean,' she said." Damn I didn't know Dean Thomas owned a whole ass forest 😁
"Deeper and deeper into the forest she[the doe Patronus] led him, and Harry walked quickly, sure that when she stopped, she would allow him to approach her properly. And then she would speak and the voice would tell him what he needed to know." 😂Imagine how shook he would be if the Doe did speak and, expecting some sweet, kind voice to come from it, he hears fucking Snape's voice instead.
"He held his wand higher. Nobody ran out at him, no flash of green light burst from behind a tree." My face when the trees start speaking Parseltongue.
"Where 'chivalry' entered into this, he thought ruefully, he was not entirely sure, unless it counted as chivalrous that he was not calling for Hermione to do it in his stead." LOL I was not expecting that line.
"The chain of the Horcrux had tightened and was slowly constructing his windpipe." Okay the Horcrux pulling him in any direction makes sense but trying to choke him out while he's already underwater and can't breathe? Dumbass Horcrux.
"'Getting the sword. Finishing off the Horcrux. Saving my life.' 'That makes me sound a lot cooler than I was,' Ron mumbled. 'Stuff like that always sounds cooler than it really was,' said Harry. 'I've been trying to tell you that for years.'" Harry IS the expert on such things. And I do love the consistency of that narrative.
"She saw Ron, who stood there holding the sword and dripping onto the threadbare carpet. Harry backed into a shadowy corner, slipped off Ron's rucksack, and attempted to blend in with the canvas." Lmao Harry is expecting the most romantic reunion scene to go down between his two besties.
"'You come back after weeks - weeks - and you think it's all going to be all right if you just say sorry?'" 👀 some people might need to take notes there.
Part 2, the final part, coming soon!
The 5 Love Languages? What about the opposing 5 Hate Languages?
Physical pain
Words of defamation
Absence
Getting your stuff taken
Being forced to do tasks
Books 1 and 2
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, cauldron, and top-of-the-range Nimbus 2000 broomstick had be
Book 3
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets · 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes
Book 4
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Reblog by @the-core-of · Books 1 and 2 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, c
Book 5
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Order of the Phoenix part 2 · "'Snape?' said Harry blankly. 'Professor Snape, dear,' said Mrs. Weaseley reprovingly." It's
Half-Blood Prince part 1
I think this is the book I remember the least of the main storyline. I remember a bunch of little details like that it begins with the Prime Minister meeting Fudge and the new Minister for Magic, then goes to Narcissa and Bellatrix going to Snape's, I remember Fleur staying at the Weaseleys and then the rest is just a blur of looking at memories of Tom Riddle, stuff with Slughorn, the Half-Blood Prince's book, and relationship drama.
At least after the last book being entirely Harry torture porn, he won't have it as bad this book. Other than Dumbles' death at the end, I don't recall anything super horrific happening to Harry in this one.
This book has 30 chapters and it takes 8 to get to Hogwarts.
Apparently the British Prime Minister in 1995 was John Major. He seemed to have been Minister from 1990 to 1997, so for most of the series.
It is one of my favorite little details of the world that the muggle Prime Minister and the Minister for Magic do in fact meet and discuss important happenings.
"'And I must say, you're taking it a lot better than your predecessor. He tried to throw me out of the window, thought I was a hoax planned by the opposition.'" John Major's predecessor for Prime Minister was Margaret Thatcher, who was Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990. Fudge's use of the word 'he' though, could mean Thatcher did not win as Prime Minister in this world.
But if the timeline is the same, that would mean Fudge was Minister since at least 1979. But if you remember from the fourth book, Crouch was almost made Minister until everything went down with his son and then Fudge was elected instead which means Fudge couldn't have been elected until 1981-1982. Therefore, the Prime Ministers are not exactly the same in this universe.
"'I won't deny morale is pretty low at the Ministry,' said Fudge. 'What with all that, and then losing Amelia Bones.'" Aw, dang. Her too?
"'And they're[dementors] breeding. That's what's causing all this mist.'" I'm sorry, breeding?? Okay, I admit I've never thought of how dementors reproduce or how they come to be at all but now I really want to know. Now I'm just wondering wtf is wrong with JKR that she would tell us the disgusting way wizards did their 'business' before adopting toilets and plumbing but she didn't reveal how dementors reproduce or where they actually come from.
Oooh Shacklebolt is guarding the Prime Minister. Cool.
"The harsh cry startled the fox, now crouching almost flat in the undergrowth." Awww🥹. I love foxes so much.
"There was of green light, a yelp, and the fox fell back to the ground, dead." Okay that's it. Killing muggles? Torturing the Longbottoms into near vegetation, killing Sirius, cutting 'MUDBLOOD' into Hermione's arm, and killing Dobby I can all overlook. But a dead fox? Time to behead this biatch.
"'Cissy - Narcissa - listen to me-'" Do love the characterization of Bellatrix calling her sister Cissy. I wonder if they had a nickname for Andromeda. Andy?
"'Cissy, you're own sister? You wouldn't-' 'There is nothing I wouldn't do anymore!' Narcissa breathed, a note of hysteria in her voice..." Can we just take a moment to appreciate everything Narcissa has been through? First her younger sister runs away and is exiled from the family, then one of her cousins does the same, then her older sister, her non-estranged cousin, her husband, and all their friends join a dark cult, then the cult leader dies, her sister and estranged cousin are sent to prison, her non-estranged cousin dies, leaving her without any of her birth family so all she has is her husband and her only son, years later, her house suddenly loses its servant, a month later, her estranged cousin breaks out of prison and is on the loose, 2 years later, her husband's cult leader comes back to life, 6 months later, her sister and the rest of the cult are broken out of prison, the cult leader gives her husband a job, in one night, he fails that job, he and the rest of the cult are sent back to prison, and her sister kills her estranged cousin, then as punishment towards her husband's failure, the cult leader gives her son an impossible job that is almost guaranteed to get him killed, and I can't remember when but I think the cult leader starts living with them at some point. And that's just all up until this moment.
"'Narcissa!' said the man, opening the door a little wider, so that the light fell upon her and her sister too. 'What a pleasant surprise!'" With Alan Rickman's performance, I seriously cannot imagine Snape speaking with exclamation-point-containing sentences unless it's to yell at children or the Maurauders. And I seriously can't imagine Snape declaring the calling of any human to his home a 'pleasant surprise'. But, of course, all his appearances up until now have been from Harry's perspective so l reckon this is a bit like finding out for the first time that your teacher has a life outside of school.
"'Yes, of course. Well, Wormtail's here, but we're not counting vermin, are we?'" How satisfying must it be for Snape to be able to treat one of his former tormentors like a less-than-human servant? And Dumbles thinks he doesn't belong in Slytherin.
And how sick is it for him to have secret doors hidden behind bookshelves? If he can have them in this shitty muggle-built house in this muggle neighborhood, there's no excuse for the rest of us not to have them.
Actually, now that I think about it, a bookshelf door would be really inconvenient because the books would be falling off every time you pulled the door closed. Which... is why all bookcase doors open by sliding sideways!
"'My apologies,' said Snape. 'He[Wormtail] has lately taken to listening at doors, I dont know what he means by it...'" What else does Wormtail have to listen to here at Snape's house? Nobody else lives there. Does Snape get other visitors? Or does Wormtail just listen at the door to Snape sleeping and pooping(you're welcome for the imagery) or what?
Man, Snape's arguments towards Bellatrix about why he doesn't seem as loyal to Lord Thingy is just brilliant. He plays on her own loyalty to convince her she's mistaken in doubting him. Gaslighting is bad irl but great gaslighting in fiction is like a 5 star meal.
"'And I will say this for Draco; he isn't shrinking away from his duty, he seems glad of a chance to prove himself, excited at the prospect-'" Ohh, that's interesting, and more in character for Draco. I only remember him moping around the whole year.
"Harry Potter was snoring loudly." Aww our little baby boy is all grown up.
"...a number of spellbooks lay higgledy-piggledy among the tangled robes on his bed..." Ok now she's just making up words. I can do it too. Puckledy-wuckledy.
"'I don't mean to be rude-' he [Vernon] began, in a tone that threatened rudeness with every syllable." I know I have SOMETHING to say about this but I'm not quite sure what.
"'- yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often,' Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely." That it does.
"'Ah,' said Dumbledore pleasantly, 'but in the wizarding world, we come of age at seventeen.'" I remember reading that as a kid and FINALLY having that cleared up because it wasn't clear to me for the rest of the series.
😂Dumbles explains to the Dursleys that Harry has already tried to kill Lord Thingy multiple times! Imagine what they must be thinking!
Ohhh shit Dumbles also calls out the Dursleys for 'mistreating' Dudley. I mean yeah, now that I think about it, wilfully turning your son into Cartman is pretty fucked up.
"Dumbledore waved his wand and the trunk, cage, and Hedwig vanished." FINALLY! FINALLY we actually SEE that happen! Finally, after five fucking books we see that there's actually a spell for sending items places!
But but but if that spell exists, why even have owls? Sure, you need them for underage witches and wizards, but why don't adult witches and wizards just use that spell to send their mail and packages to each other?
"He had never had a proper conversation with his Headmaster outside Hogwarts before; there was usually a desk between them." Lol yeah I never realized almost all of their conversations are in Dumbles' office. The only one I recall not is the one in the hospital wing at the end of book 1 and end of book 2, it happens in McGonagall's office.
"'-you can't Apparate anywhere inside the buildings or grounds,' said Harry quickly. 'Hermione Granger told me.'" Lol you dont have to specify her last name. Just saying HER first name is enough of a giveaway for who you're talking about. Plus teenagers dont usually refer to their best friends by full name with someone who knows who they're talking about.
"'That's what she[Umbridge] did, didn't she?' said Slughorn. 'Idiotic woman. Never liked her.' Harry chuckled..." Yeah that'll be just enough to get Harry to like and trust you.
"'Are you hungry, Harry?' 'Yeah, I am,' said Harry. 'Sit down, Harry, I'll knock something up.'" Woah woah woah, Molly! You'll what now?
"'Some idiot's started selling Metamorph-Medals. Just sling them around your neck and you'll be able to change your appearance at will. A hundred thousand disguises, all for 10 Galleons!' 'And what really happens when you put them on?' 'Mostly you just turn a fairly unpleasant orange colour...'" Ohh thaaaaaaat explains Trump.
"'We didn't know you were here already!' said a loud and excited voice, and he received a sharp blow to the top of the head. 'Ron, don't hit him!' said a girl's voice reproachfully." Uh, okay... they don't really explain how Ron hits him so I'm just imagining he karate chopped him on top the head. Bonk!
"'Bill and I are going to be married!'" She moves FAST. Only been a year since she laid eyes on him and they're already engaged. Only 2 years from first site to matrimony. She is the Disney princess of the Harry Potter world.
"'He's[Bill] a hard-working, down-to-earth sort of person, whereas she's-' 'A cow,' said Ginny, nodding." No! Bad Ginny!
"'He[Dumbledore] wouldn't be giving you[Harry] lessons if he thought you were a goner, wouldn't waste his time - he must think you've got a chance!'" Oh boy, Ron. Ohhhhh boy.
"'But it's[a black eye] got to come off!' squeaked Hermione. 'I can't go around looking like this for ever!'" Another example of Hermione suddenly caring about her appearance right after making fun of Fleur.
"'And they've found Igor Karkaroff's body in a shack up north.'" Holy shit.
"...their letters and book lists arrived from Hogwarts. Harry's included a surprise: He had been made Quidditch Captain." LET'S GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
"Bill, who would be staying at home with Fleur..." Look who's FINALLY getting the house to themselves 😏
Hm chapter 6 seems to be running with bits of nostalgia from the first book: Hagrid taking the lot shopping in Diagon Alley and the trio meeting Draco at Madam Malkin's.
"'Patented Daydream Charms... One simple incantation and you will enter a top quality, highly realistic thirty-minute daydream, easy to fit into the average school lesson and virtually undetectable (side-effects include vacant expression and minor drooling). Not for sale to under-sixteens. You know,' said Hermione, looking up at Harry, 'that really is extraordinary magic!'" Is it? Don't you know muggles have discovered AND invented multiple versions of that?
"'Malfoy? He's sixteen, Harry! You think You-Know-Who would let Malfoy join?'" You really think the cult leader would discriminate a potential follower just because of their age? And weren't most of the original Death Eaters fresh out of Hogwarts? Didn't Snape and Crouch Jr join right after leaving school at 17-18?
"...and Ginny's new Pygmy Puff, Arnold..." Adorable.
"Mr Weaseley looked taken aback. After a moment he said, 'Harry, I doubt whether You-Know-Who would allow a sixteen-year-old-'" Bruh. Never underestimate the badness of the biggest baddest guy.
It seriously feels out of character for Ron, Hermione, AND Arthur to be so doubtful of Harry's suspicions of Draco. I mean come on, Ron and Hermione know the sort of person Draco is. And if Lord Thingy is willing to kill children, why wouldn't he be willing to recruit children?
"'People expect you to have cooler friends than us,' said Luna. 'You are cool,' said Harry shortly. 'None of them was at the Ministry. They didn't fight with me.'" D'awww.
"...for Neville's parents, well-known Aurors, had been tortured into insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange and a couple of Death Eater cronies." Cronies? Uhhhh you mean her husband, his brother, and Barty Crouch Jr? Them cronies???
"...and watched Pansy stroke the sleek blond hair off Malfoy's forehead, smirking as she did so, as though anyone would have loved to be in her place." If your partner don't worship you like that, do you even have a partner?
"'He invited Longbottom?' 'Well, I assume so, as Longbottom was there,' said Zabini indifferently." 🤣 Blaise ain't having none of your shit.
"Harry felt as though his body was generating waves of hatred so powerful that it seemed incredible that Snape could not feel them burning him" Been there. It really is incredible they can't feel it.
"...thereby gaining his seat at the long Gryffindor table (which, inconveniently, was the furthest from the Entrance Hall)" Yeah the books seem to describe the House tables as perpendicular to the door instead of parallel like they are in the films. I like how they are in the films better. Not only is it nicer visually, but it just makes more sense for navigating the Great Hall.
"What he would not give to fight Malfoy one on one..." Huh, yeah I just realized that other than the Dueling club in book 2, Harry and Draco never do get to have a proper, no holds barred fight until the bathroom seen in this book.
"'Professor Snape, meanwhile, will be taking over the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.' 'No!' said Harry so loudly that many heads turned in his direction." Lol I remember that part well, especially Harry's reaction. He's SO offended 😂
"'What kind of mission would You-Know-Who have given him?' 'How do you know Voldemort doesn't need someone at Hogwarts? It wouldn't be the first-'" EXACTLY!
"Harry lost no time telling Hermione what he had overheard Malfoy saying on the Hogwarts Express 'But he was obviously showing off for Parkinson, wasn't he?' interjected Ron quickly." Come on, Ron, when have you ever known Draco to show off, especially to a girl, through lying? Through manipulating the system, through his father's power, through threats and insults and bullying, sure. But never has Draco ever tried to show off by lying.
"'Humph,' snorted Professor McGonagall. 'It's high time your[Neville's] grandmother learned to be proud of the grandson she's got, than the one she thinks she ought to have - particularly after what happened at the Ministry.'" McGiggles spittin' FACTS.
Parvati is brokenhearted that she doesn't get to have Firenze, 'the handsome centaur' as her Divination teacher🤣 I have never related to anyone in this series more.
"'You have had five teachers in this subject[Defense Against the Dark Arts] so far, I believe.'" Harry teaching the DA makes 6 but that was only for a handful or two of students in this year.
"'Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you're about to perform,' said Hermione, 'which gives you a split second advantage.' 'An answer copied almost word for word from The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6,' said Snape dismissively." He's got a point there. Are you learning or memorizing?
"'There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor,' The words escaped him before he knew what he was saying. Several people gasped, including Hermione." I didn't know he said that in front of the whole class! I thought it happened at an Occlumency lesson or something! That makes it even more legendary. Plus I'm pretty sure Snape would've smacked him if they were alone.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione are the only Gryffindor's in their year to go on to advanced Potions? First of all, I'm surprised Ron got Exceeds Expectations, second, nobody else did? Obviously Neville wouldn't but not Lavender? Not Parvati or Dean, or Seamus?
"Malfoy looked rather as he had done the time Hermione had punched him in the face." First of all 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Second of all, in the book, it was a slap. An open-handed slap. This author can't even remember what she wrote as she was writing the series.
God, Harry is SO obsessed with Draco this book: stalking him in Diagon Alley and on the train, noticing every little expression and movement he has. This must be where all the Drarry stuff comes from.
Of course! Snape's comment about Hermione reciting a word for word answer is the first hint that he's the Half-Blood Prince! Because writing out alternative brewing methods shows he values learning beyond the instructions.
Why WOULD Snape have kept his copy of Advanced Potion-Making in his classroom though? I could see him keeping it in his office or on his bookshelves at home but keeping it in the classroom just guarantees it'll be found by a student. Would he want a student finding his little invented spells? Particularly the couple of dangerous ones? That's like the equivalent of a teacher leaving a pamphlet on how to built a bomb in their classroom.
"'It might have been a girl. I think the handwriting looks more like a girl's than a boy's.'" Way to call the man out, Hermione.
"'Knave of spades: a dark young man, possibly troubled, one who dislikes the questioner-'" I personally don't subscribe to the headcanon that Harry is Desi or colored but I'm not going to ignore that.
"'But as I have already proven to you, I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger.'" Well, you got that right.
"Harry thought Ogden was being extremely dim; the stranger was making himself very clear in Harry's opinion, particularly as he was brandishing a wand in one hand and a short, rather bloody knife in the other." Yeah for real. Languages aside, read the man's body language.
"'Slytherin's!' yelled Gaunt. 'Salazar Slytherin's! We're his last living descendants, what do you say to that, eh?'" You're proud that the great Salazar Slytherin's legacy and blood has stopped here? With inbred white trash squalor? Do you really think Slytherin would be proud to call YOU his family?
Honestly it is a miracle that Tom Riddle Sr. didn't go have any kids after leaving Merope. Imagine if Lord Thingy had muggle half-siblings.
"'Sir, am I allowed to tell Ron and Hermione everything you've told me?'" Shoutout to the only time Harry actually ASKS to spill the beans to Ron and Hermione.
"Ritchie Coote" is one of the new Gryffindor Beaters. Oof, careful saying that name too fast.
Bruh by October, Harry was using some of the Half-Blood Prince's spells on other people, including Filch! How did Snape not realize what was happening and find a reason to confiscate the book long before the bathroom incident? Okay, yeah, I was right in book 4, Madam Pomfrey is the only sane and responsible adult in the wizarding world.
"On the other hand, the Prince had proved a much more effective teacher than Snape so far." Hint #2 to the Prince's identity.
Being hoisted in the air by your ankle has to be in the top 20 worst ways to get woken up.
"'Why does it matter if it's handwritten?' said Harry. 'Because it's probably not Ministry of Magic-approved,' said Hermione." Well, now look who's sounding like Umbridge.
Glad Harry does remember Levicorpus was the spell his dad used on Snape.
"'My dad used the spell,' said Harry. 'I - Lupin told me.'" Also glad he still didn't tell Ron and Hermione about Snape's memory even after some months have passed since seeing it and he currently loathes Snape more than ever.
Ohh, another moment where I like the point Ron is making. Hermione points out Death Eaters also made people float at the Quidditch World Cup and Ron tells her that was different because they were abusing that type of magic. So I like that point because, well, you'd have to outlaw all spells that could possibly be abused. (I find myself relating this to gun control again but that's not something I want to get into here). On the other hand, this also asks the philosophical question of where is the line between "just having a laugh" and "being cruel"? I think Harry would be the one person who knows exactly where that line is after enduring years of cruelty from the Dursleys and Voldemort and the other bullies in his life.
Draco's plan was stupid. That cursed necklace never would've gotten passed Filch's search.
It would've been way more realistic that Harry remembered Draco had looked at the necklace years ago like a week after the incident with Katie. Realizing it right after it happened? Come on, that's not how people's memories work.
"'Good Lord,' said Professor McGonagall." Is that something witches and wizards would normally say?
"'Well, he[Draco] would look a bit of a prat carrying a necklace,' interjected Ron." And he'd slay like a QUEEN wearing it!
I like that the seriousness of the cursed necklace is enhanced by Katie having to go to St. Mungo's, and staying there for months, just from brushing the necklace.
"Caractacus Burke" say that out loud until you can get it right.
"'She didn't seem to have any idea how much it was worth. Happy to get ten Galleons for it. Best bargain we ever made!'" 10 Galleons for Slytherin's necklace? This is why witches need education.
"'But she could do magic!' said Harry impatiently. 'She could have got food and everything by herself by magic, couldn't she?'" Ooh, Harry sounding just like Tom Riddle there.
"'Of course, it is also possible that her unrequited love and the attendant despair sapped her of her powers; that can happen.'" Is that a hint to Tonks' situation?
"'I remember her saying "I hope he looks like his papa," and I won't lie, she was right to hope it, because she was no beauty-'" Well NOBODY is during LABOR.
I like to imagine present Dumbledore is over Harry's shoulder, mouthing all of past Dumbledore's lines when watching his own memory.
"It was not as though he was really surprised, thought Harry, he had an inkling that this might happen sooner or later." Omg Harry totally ships Ron and Hermione!
"Harry supposed he would just have to wait to see what happened under the influence of Butterbeer in Slughorn's dimly lit room on the night of the party." Wait to see what happens to Ron and Hermione under the influence of Butterbeer and a low lit party??? I-I-I mi-might have some ideas...
"'D'you think I want people saying my sister's a-' 'A what?' shouted Ginny, drawing her wand. 'A what, exactly?'" A......................... reeeeeeeeeeeeeally great kisser?
"'And Hermione snogged Viktor Krum...'" Ohhhhh! They DID canonically kiss!
But besides that, I don't like that Ginny's basically bullying Ron for not having any kissing experience. Sure, most people have their first kiss in their teens but thst doesn't mean it's bad or even unusual to not kiss anyone until adulthood/after leaving school.
"Harry lay awake for a long time, looking up at the canopy of his four-poster and trying to convince himself that his feelings for Ginny were entirely older-brotherly." Uhhhhh 👀
I love that part of Harry's plan is Hermione trying to tell Ron not to drink the drink 'spiked' with Liquid Luck. If there's one way to get Ron to do something, it's Hermione telling him not to.
"Firstly, Harry had to put up with the frequent presence of Lavender Brown, who seemed to regard any moment that she was not kissing Ron as a moment wasted." I can think of worse things.
"'So she's found out someone wants to snog me, too. Well, it's a free country. I haven't done anything wrong.'" I honestly didn't know people outside 'merica said "it's a free country".
"'What have you done to that book, you depraved boy?' 'It isn't the library's, it's mine!' said Harry hastily, snatching his copy of Advanced Potion-Making off the table as she[Madam Pince] lunged at it with a clawlike hand." Ugh I remember reading that at 12 and cringing so hard with secondhand embarrassment. Not as bad as an adult thankfully.
"'Wow, you like your Quidditch players, don't you? First Krum, then McLaggen...'" I was just thinking that the other day. All three of the guys Hermione goes out with are Quidditch players: Krum, McLaggen, and Ron. Odd for someone who barely likes Quidditch. Cho only goes out with Quidditch players too (Cedric, Harry, and the Ravenclaw captain I think) but at least she also plays the game.
"Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge." Ohhhh, Harry, you have noooooo idea.
"'But I don't think I've ever known such a natural at Potions!' said Slughorn, regarding Harry with a fond, if bloodshot, eye. 'Instinctive, you know - like his mother! I've only ever taught a few with this kind of ability - why, even Severus-'" Was Lily REALLY a natural? Or was Snape helping her out the whole time?
Part 2 coming soon
Half-Blood Prince part 2
"'Percy definitely not showing his ugly face, then?' asked Fred. Mrs. Weaseley turned away before she answered. 'No, he's busy, I expect, at the Ministry.'" Is he even talking to them?
"'We're off to the village, there's a very pretty girl working in the paper shop...'" Wtf is a paper shop? Is that like an office supply store or?
"'But the top levels want to look as though they're making some progress, and "three arrests" sounds better than "three mistaken arrests and releases".'" Know whats even worse? The American government right fucking now.
"'...spells he invented. One of them was Levicorpus.' 'Oh, that one had a great vogue during my time at Hogwarts,' said Lupin reminiscently. 'There were a few months in my fifth year when you couldn't move for being hoisted into the air by your ankles.' 'My dad used it,' said Harry. 'I saw him in the Pensieve, he used it on Snape.' 'Yes, but he wasn't the only one. As I say, it was very popular... you know how these spells come and go...'" I just don't get how a spell, especially a nonverbal spell, could become a fad without anybody knowing where it came from. I can only imagine people finding out about it either from Snape using it or by reading it in Snape's book.
Harry discovers the copy of Advanced Potion-Making is 50 years old and doesn't immediately think it could be Voldemort? Like that's the only Hogwarts student Harry knows of from that era that would've taken Advanced Potions AND he's a half-blood arrogant enough to give himself a nickname with a royal title... Half-blood Prince easily could be a beta version of Lord Voldemort.
Man I do not remember Percy showing up for Christmas AT ALL.
"'Dolores Umbridge has told me that you cherish to become an Auror. Well, that could be arranged very easily.' Harry felt anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach: so Dolores Umbridge was still at the Ministry, was she?" Way to IMMEDIATELY lose Harry's respect, Scrimgeour.
I love that Harry's taken the Ministry holding Stan Shunpike SO personally.
"'You don't care whether I live or die, but you do care that I help you convince everyone you're winning the war against Voldemort.'" Oh... fuck. Too relevant. Too fucking relevant.
"'Promise me you'll look after yourself... stay out of trouble...' 'I always do, Mrs. Weaseley,' said Harry. 'I like a quiet life, you know me.'" Ha! Good one.
The new Gryffindor common room password is Abstinence? Really? Uhh...
"Leaving Ron and Lavender locked in a kind of vertical wrestling match..." 😂 I'm picturing them both giving each other a headlock.
"Morfin was working himself into a rage again; he brandished his knife and shouted, 'Dishonored us, she did, that little slut!'" Wooh! Didn't think we'd be seeing that kind of language when this same book wouldn't let Ron use it a few chapters earlier.
"'As far as I am aware, they do not know to this day how the Riddles died, for the Avada Kedavra Curse does not usually leave any sign of damage.'" Dumbles said these events happened during Tom Riddle's sixteenth summer, which means he was an underage wizard doing magic outside Hogwarts... but he wasn't caught... So that can only mean the Ministry tracking underage witches and wizards' every move and every bit of magic they do outside school is a fairly recent system.
"'He was under age at the time, wasn't he? I thought they could detect under-age magic!' 'You are quite right - they can detect magic, but not the perpetrator; you will remember you were blamed by the Ministry for the Hover Charm that was, in fact, cast by-' 'Dobby! So if you're under age and you do magic inside an adult witch or wizard's house, the Ministry won't know?' 'They will certainly be unable to tell who performed the magic.'" Okay soooo they detect magic use but not the user... meaning there is no tracking every movement of an underage user... I will remember this in the next book.
"'Horcruxes... Horcruxes... I've never even heard of them...'" THAT'S the real plot twist of this book: Hermione not knowing about something.
"'Good luck, and don't forget your protective gloves!'" Whaaaat? They actually do use protective gear in Potions? Another incredible plot twist.
"'Happy birthday, Ron,' said Harry... 'Have a present.'" That line felt weird for some reason.
"...holding up a heavy gold watch with odd symbols around the edge and tiny moving stars instead of hands." Aha! It does get mentioned again! Don't think I forgot about Dumble's watch from the very first chapter of the first book. Here I thought it was a one of a kind, Dumbledore invented item. Seems to be a traditional gift for wizards coming of age.
"'We were thinking of buying Zonko's,' said Fred gloomily. 'A Hogsmeade branch, you know...'" Omg yes! WWW should absolutely take over the magical joke industry of Great Britain.
"'I mean, it's always bin a bit of a risk sendin' a kid ter Hogwarts, hasn't it?'" Ain't that the truth and a half.
"Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy." YOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Drarry! Drarry! Drarry!
Could it be possible Harry's actually starting to outgrow Quidditch?
I cannot belive the film left out Luna doing the Quidditch commentary for one game.
"'Oh, Dean was laughing about McLaggen hitting that Bludger at you.'" I know the dorm boys love to give each other the shits but that sounds really out of character for Dean.
Lol Luna carries a green onion, spotted toadstool, something that looks like cat litter around. Could do without the cat litter but you never know when you might need a green onion or a lucky toadstool🍄.
"'Voldemort was, I believe, more attached to this school than he had ever been to a person. Hogwarts was where he had been happiest; the first and only place he had ever felt at home.' Harry felt a little uncomfortable at these words, for this was exactly how he felt about Hogwarts, too." Oh, come now, Harry, I know not everyone who attends Hogwarts is an orphan, like you and Voldemort, but there are surely plenty others who have had a similar connection to Hogwarts. Snape(not thst Harry would care), Sirius, possibly Neville.
Dumbledore calls two people (Professor Merrythought and Hepzibah Smith) "very old" in the span of a couple paragraphs. Either He's got some nerve or those two were reeeeeeeeally fucking old.
"'How do I look?' said Hepzibah. 'Lovely, madam,' squeaked Hokey. Harry could only assume that it was down in Hokey's contract that she must lie through her teeth when asked this question, because Hepzibah Smith looked a long way from lovely in his opinion." Duuuuuuuude! Can you imagine what it'd be like if Harry wasn't so polite? He'd be shooting roasts left, right and center instead of just at the Dursleys, Snape, Draco, and most Death Eaters and Slytherins.
"He was plainly dressed in a black suit; his hair was a little longer than it had been at school and his cheeks were hollowed, but all of this suited him: he looked more handsome than ever." Fuck🥴. Time to join Lord Voldemort with that description.
"'Hokey confessed?' 'She remembered putting something in her mistress's cocoa that turned out not to be sugar, but a lethal and little-known poison.'" Arsenic. Would have to use a LOT though. But, of course, I guess Voldemort would prefer something more magical.
"'You are omniscient as ever, Dumbledore.' 'Oh, no, merely friendly with the local barman,' said Dumbledore lightly." So he DOES talk to Aberforth.
Honestly, if I didn't know any better and this book was written by a different author slightly more recently, I'd think this book was leading to Harry ending up with Draco instead of Ginny. There's just 0 lead up happening to his relationship with Ginny other than him hating Dean for kissing her. I thought it was the film that gave their relationship so little attention and the book was going to be better but, no, it's the other way around. Ginny's character may be less fleshed out in the film but at least the film gave them a couple flirty moments before they kiss.
"'...oh, and how horrible, a nine-year-old boy has been arrested for trying to kill his grandparents, they think he was under the Imperius Curse.'" ARRESTED?? Do they send 9yos to Azkaban? Or just... hold him somewhere?
"'Myrtle, this is the boy's bathroom!'" I always thought it was neat that Myrtle only appears in the even-numbered books. Books 2, 4, and 6.
"'I mean he's sensitive, people bully him, too, and he feels lonely and hasn't got anybody to talk to, and he's not afraid to show his feelings and cry!'" Draco? Draco gets bullied? Is that what he calls his rivalry with Potter and Weaseley?
"'There's been a boy crying in here?' said Harry curiously." Yeah, this book definitely should've ended with Drarry.
Oh my GOD! Harry fucking creeps on Goyle disguised as an 11yo girl. "You're very pretty, aren't you?" Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Ew ew ew eww ewwwwww! Awful. Just everything about that. Awful. Now Goyle's going to think Harry's into little girls.
Hagrid saying Hermione would've liked Aragog is... quite the laugh.
"'You didn't meet him, Hermione. Believe me, being dead will have improved him a lot.'" Goddammit another laugh. A slightly guilty laugh but still a laugh.
"'Fifty-seventh time lucky, you think?' said Harry bitterly. 'Lucky,' said Ron suddenly. 'Harry, that's it - get lucky!'" Oohhhh I like that Ron is the one that thinks of using Liquid Luck.
Yeah, every time Slughorn praises Harry's Potion-Making when Harry uses the Half-Blood Prince's instructions, Slughorn almost ALWAYS says he must get it from his mother, to the point the book almost feels like it's hinting at or leading up to some reveal. But, of course, the only reveal is that Snape is the Half-Blood Prince AND that Snape was besties with Lily for five years. So, if we look at what we know and then read between the lines, we know for a fact Snape IS an expert Potions Master, but all we have is Slughorn's word that Lily had a talent for Potion-Making. So, either Lily really did have an inexplicable 6th sense for Potions and Snape just took notes on what she did that worked, therefore further developing his own Potion skills, or Snape was always Lily's partner in Potions, helped her, and let her take credit.
"Felix Felicis Potter, you were named after the Lucky Potion. Without which, Voldemort would've killed me, your mother would still be with Dean, and Ron would still be avoiding Lavender instead of just breaking up with her."
"Slughorn uncorked one of the bottles of wine he had brought. 'I have had it all tested for poison,' he assured Harry." How? You can't open a bottle of wine, reseal it, and put it back on the shelf. It starts oxidizing and goes bad. I mean maaaaaaybe there's a spell or something that can keep a wine good after opening but the story don't mention it.
"'Used ter keep him in a cupboard up at the school until... well...' Hagrid's face darkened and Harry knew why: Tom Riddle had contrived to have Hagrid thrown out of school, blamed for opening the Chamber of Secrets." I don't think I mentioned it during Chamber of Secrets but how did Tom know about Aragog? I mean Aragog was a secret up until Tom exposed and framed him so why and how did Tom know about him to begin with? Did he happen to find him? Or was he already a master Legilimens? Or was he once someone that Hagrid trusted enough to confide such secrets to? We know Tom had literally everyone but Dumbles fooled back then so... you gotta wonder.
Love how part of Harry's/the Felix's way to get the memory out of Slughorn is to get him absolutely shit-faced drunk.
"'I[Slughorn] confidently expect you[Tom Riddle] to rise to Minister for Magic within twenty years. Fifteen, if you keep sending me pineapple. I have excellent contacts at the Ministry.'" Yeah, why didn't he do that? He could've actually taken over to country for more than 9 months! Dumbass cult leader.
"'Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn't it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces?'" Dumbass cult leader.
"'But I haven't got uncommon skill and power,' said Harry, before he could stop himself. 'Yes, you have,' said Dumbledore firmly. 'You have a power that Voldemort has never had. You can-' 'I know!' said Harry impatiently. 'I can love!' 'Yes, Harry, you can love,' said Dumbledore." Nooooo. Harry's got something else. Anybody can love but Harry has powers, or a power, that nobody else has, that I don't think even Dumbledore is aware of, at least not yet. But it's not quite the time to talk about it.
"'Have you any idea how much tyrants fear the people they oppress?'" Dumbles reminiscing on the days of Stalin.
Dumbles giving Harry a long ass lecture that Master Oogway summed up in 13 words "One often meets his destiny on the path he takes to avoid it."
Man, the 6th year Gryffindor girl's dorm post Ron and Lavender's breakup must've been 1. Juicy, 2. Tense, 3. Spicy... Like a THICK, extra spicy curry.
"The tiny little Charms master was bobbing his way towards them and Hermione was the only one who had managed to turn vinegar into wine." First of all, isn't that Transfiguration? Second of all, that sounds way too simple for 6th year, more like a 2nd year spell. I mean wine and vinegar are already like one step away from being the same thing.
"The battle still raged inside his head: Ginny or Ron?" No no, that's right. I've always been convinced that the only reason Ginny exists is so Harry could marry into the Weaseley family without JKR having to make her main character gay. Harron? Come on.
Aw man, Harry and Draco's bathroom dual is disappointingly short. They each only exchange two spells before Harry casts Sectumsempra. What a waste, that could've been such a sick fight considering they haven't dualed since they were 12.
"He could not even find it in himself to tell Moaning Myrtle to be quiet, as she continued to sob with increasingly evident enjoyment." Lol Myrtle must love drama. She'd have made a great reporter or theatre actress.
"'Who would have thought you knew such Dark Magic. Who taught you that spell?'" Huhh.... interesting.... the fact that Snape has to ask must mean that spell has gotten out and Snape knows it, or he suspects it might have gotten out before this moment.
"'I need your book,' Harry panted. 'Your Potions book. Quick... give it to me...' 'But what about the Half-Blood-' 'I'll explain later!' Ron pulled his copy of Advanced Potion-Making out of his bag and handed it over." Now THAT is a best friend.
I really wish the film had left Snape and Harry's exchange in just to hear Alan Rickman say Roonil Wazlib with an ever so straight face.
"'James Potter and Sirius Black. Apprehended using an illegal hex upon Bertram Aubrey. Aubrey's head twice normal size. Double detection.'" Aha! So they were ganging up on and doing illegal hexes on others. Doesn't mention whether Aubrey is Slytherin tho.
"'You filthy hypocrite! What about you and Lavender, thrashing around like a pair of eels all over the place?' demanded Ginny." Jesus Christ.
Hermione's trying to convince Harry that Eileen Prince could've been the Half-Blood Prince but I still can't believe not even she considered it could've been an early name for Lord Voldemort.
"'I well remember my first interview with Dumbledore,' went on Professor Trelawney." Ohhhh that's riiiiiiight! THIS is when he finds out Snape was the one that overheard the prophecy. So then... why was he so extra pissed at Snape at the end of the last book?
Yeah, I can NOT believe that Harry doesn't go straight to Snape to try to kill him after getting this news. Okay, given he insists nobody kill Wormtail, ig I can believe it but he already hates Snape enough he'd just need a reason just like this to make an attempt to do him in.
"Boiling with anger at Snape, his desire to do something desperate and risky had increased tenfold in the last few minutes." Haha! James. Also Sirius.
Isn't it convenient that Harry doesn't see Snape again after learning the above until about 69 seconds before he kills Dumbledore? Saving this anger for that perfect crescendo.
"'He's up to something with Draco Malfoy right now, right under your nose, and you still-' 'We have discussed this, Harry,' said Dumbledore. 'I have told you my views.' 'You're leaving the school tonight and I'll bet you haven't even considered that Snape and Malfoy might decide to-' 'To what?' asked Dumbledore, his eyebrows raised. 'What is it that you suspect them of doing, precisely?'" Snape's gaslighting at the start of the book was delicious. This gaslighting is just frustrating.
Ohh I love Harry giving Ron and Hermione the mission to protect the school. He's really grown into a great little leader.
"'You can Apparate now, I believe?' 'Yes,' said Harry, 'but I haven't got a license.'" Love that Apparating is like driving for wizards. So that must make broom riding like bicycling.
I'm... I'm having a bit of a hard time believing Dumbles and Harry just straight up swimming from the rock to the cave. No spell is cast to aid them in some way, no boat is summoned, Dumbles knew exactly where they were going so he could've told Harry to bring his Firebolt. They just... they just swim in the ocean... the ice cold ocean.
And when they get out of the water, they dont even use magic to dry off or warm up? Harry's fingers are fucking numb, he's shivering uncontrollably, if he weren't a wizard, he'd be guaranteed for pneumonia. Even if getting sick isn't an issue, I could never focus on anything that the crazy old man is doing or talking about until I got dry and warm.
"'Harry, I'm so sorry, I forgot,' he said, he pointed his wand at Harry and at once Harry's clothes were as warm and dry as if they had been hanging in front of a blazing fire." Finally! It's only been 5 bloody minutes since they got out of the water. This is the same crazy old man that left this same boy on a step overnight in fucking November as a year old baby.
"'Accio Horcrux!' With a noise like an explosion, something very large and pale erupted out of the dark water some twenty feet away; before Harry could see what it was, it had vanished again with a crashing splash that made great, deep ripples on the mirrored surface." That felt just like a video game jump-scare.
What would happen if you scooped up the potion in the cup and just dumped it out?
Eughhh Harry trying to give Dumbles dead body water. That's basically corpse tea.
"...still encircled by the ring of fire..." And it burns, burns, burns...
Then Harry swims back to the rock in the same freezing water WHILE heaving Dumbles along? Okay, magic magic everywhere but I don't think i can suspend my disbelief here.
"- and looking around he saw Madam Rosmerta scurrying down the dark street towards them on high-heeled, fluffy slippers..." Wat??
"'Go and wake Severus,' said Dumbledore faintly but clearly." I always found it a hilarious thought to imagine if Harry did end up having to actually wake Snape up. Imagine how FURIOUS he'd be as he was awoken by his least favorite student, opening the door in his night shirt, ready to scold Harry for being out of bed and waking him up, Harry trying to frantically tell him about Dumbledore, and Snape either not believing him or going straight into serious "take me to him now" mode. I just think it's amusing.
"'Dumbledore had wordlessly immobilized Harry, and the second he had taken to perform the spell had cost him the chance at defending himself.'" Geeeeee I wonder if that's going to have some major story significance beyond this scene..........
"'You have been trying, with increasing desperation, to kill me all year. Forgive me, Draco, but they have been feeble attempts... so feeble, to be honest, that I wonder whether your heart has been really in it...'" Mmmm more gaslighting... or is this that thing therapists do? Or is this that thing lawyers do? Fortune Tellers? There's at least one profession that does this and I think there's a name for it but it's escaping me.
And he's only made two known attempts before tonight, I wouldn't call that "trying, with increasing desperation, all year".
So Draco decided to use the Vanishing Cabinet after what happened to Montague last year; and what happened to Montague last year... is Fred and George shoved him in the broken Cabinet. Soooo this is all thanks to Fred and George.
RIP Dumbles.
It is crazy that only 7 people know that Dumbles is dead and Harry is the only Order sided person who knows.
I really wish I could hear the entirety of chapter 28 narrated by a vintage, cartoony sports commentator.
"'Coward, did you call me, Potter?' shouted Snape. 'Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?'" Never? Well, guess that settles that.
"'Mustering all his powers of concentration, Harry thought, Levi- 'No, Potter!' screamed Snape." Yeah, Harry, that's fucked up. You know that was his worst memory.
"'And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you?'" But how did his filthy father even know about them?
God, the one thing I remembered most about this chapter was Hagrid bringing up Dumbledore before knowing he was dead. Eugh...the worst. I know Dumbles isn't the best but Hagrid's loyalty to him is too pure and Harry having to break the news to him is the WORST.
Fuck, that makes Hagrid the first Order member and non-Death Eater besides Harry to know (even if he's in denial)!
"...but there was still no preparation for seeing him here, spread-eagled, broken..." I am a bit of a fan of the theory that the throw from the tower is what actually kills Dumbledore, meaning Snape's heart wasn't completely in the Killing Curse.
"Harry reached out, straighted the half-moon spectacles on the crooked nose and wiped a trickle of blood from the mouth with his own sleeve.'" Ooooh I think the trickle of blood is proof it was the fall that killed him! The Killing Curse leaves no physical trace! (Sure, I suppose the blood could be from the cave potion but lemme have this.)
"'Dumbledore might know something that'd work,' Ron said." Eughniueueuwu the rest of the gang still doesn't know eughnwiuehwdnb.
"Luna's mouth trembled." Shiiiit you know it's REALLY serious when little miss 'looked rather bored by the proceedings' is shaken.
Funny how nobody's calling him PROFESSOR Snape anymore.
"'...he was really sorry he'd done it, sorry that they were dead.' 'And Dumbledore believed that?' said Lupin incredulously. 'Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James...' 'And he didn't think my mother was worth a damn either,' said Harry, 'because she was Muggle-born... "Mudblood", he called her...'" Yeah, this would've been the time for Lupin or McGonagall to be like "Actuallyyyyyyyy, Harry.... your mom was sorta friends with him for a pretty long time." Lupin's reaction doesn't even make sense: yes, Snape hated James, EVERYBODY knew that, but everyone who attended or taught at Hogwarts during that time, also would've known he was friends with Lily, even if they did fall out by the end of their school carrier. So, Lupin, you could consider that he was sorry about her death, or that that was at least believable enough for even Dumbledore to by it.
"'-Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder,' said Ron bitterly. 'Fred and George's.'" Hilarious that Draco would stoop to using a WWW product.
Tonks calls Draco "The Malfoy boy". Girl, that's your cousin, you can call him by name.
"Harry felt Ginny move beside him and looked at her. Her slightly narrowed eyes were fixed upon Fleur, who was gazing down at Bill with a frozen expression on her face." Alllllll this shit going down and you're still gonna choose to find the time to be a hater? Grow the fuck up, Ginny.
"'And I've told you a million times,' said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, 'that I'm too old for you, too poor... too dangerous...'" Sooooo I'm neither gay nor really part of the gay community so I can't really say or... detect, I suppose, if a character or characters are gay. Yeah I've made a lot of comments here about characters being gay but that's mostly because I like crackshipping or poking at the fact JKR has no idea how to write healthy, believable couples. What I'm saying is that I have no real idea if Tonks or Lupin are actually gay-coded. I do know that colored hair doesn't necessarily mean gay bc, hey, I've had colored hair and I haven't drifted far enough from heterosexuality to even be considered bicurious and I've known other people with colored hair who are even straighter than I am. Other than that I have no real gaydar.
HOWEVER, that doesn't mean I think Tonks and Lupin are at all a good couple, and I'm not talking about their age difference or even Lupin leaving her later or any of that. My gripe with this relationship is, as a writer, it's so disgustingly, painfully obvious that JKR only put them together so she could hastily create a new baby character with a parallel start to Harry: Teddy has a Marauder father and both his parents are killed by a Wizarding War caused by Lord Thingy while he's a baby, just like Harry. But unlike Harry, he'll grow up surrounded by people that love him and it's supposed to be a hopeful thing about not all orphans growing up tragically and blah blah blah. Point is Lupin and Tonks are forced together just so JKR could make a point.
"'Snape!' ejaculated Slughorn." Heeeere we go again.
"His[Bill's] scars were as bad as ever; in truth, he now bore a distinct resemblance to Mad-Eye Moody..." Funny, since the actors are father and son.
"'...he's just like Voldemort. Pure-blood mother, Muggle father... ashamed of his parentage, trying to make himself feared using the Dark Arts, gave himself an impressive new name - Lord Voldemort - the Half-Blood Prince -'" NOW Harry's catching on.
"Among Scrimgeour's entourage Harry spotted the red hair and horn-rimmed glasses of Percy Weaseley." You'd think by now there'd be some attempt at reconciliation.
"Tonks, her hair miraculously returned to vividest pink..." For a funeral? At lest go for dark blue or purple if not black for the occasion.
"...such as the barman of the Hog's Head..." The only one Dumbledore left alive.
Harry having thoughts that make him almost laugh or grin at a funeral is so relatable.
Aaand one more book to go!
Hey, things could be worse, at least the staff doesn't stand there staring at you while you look at the menu in a restaurant.
Books 1 and 2
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, cauldron, and top-of-the-range Nimbus 2000 broomstick had be
Book 3
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets · 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes
Book 4
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Reblog by @the-core-of · Books 1 and 2 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, c
Book 5
💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Order of the Phoenix part 2 · "'Snape?' said Harry blankly. 'Professor Snape, dear,' said Mrs. Weaseley reprovingly." It's
Half-Blood Prince part 1
I think this is the book I remember the least of the main storyline. I remember a bunch of little details like that it begins with the Prime Minister meeting Fudge and the new Minister for Magic, then goes to Narcissa and Bellatrix going to Snape's, I remember Fleur staying at the Weaseleys and then the rest is just a blur of looking at memories of Tom Riddle, stuff with Slughorn, the Half-Blood Prince's book, and relationship drama.
At least after the last book being entirely Harry torture porn, he won't have it as bad this book. Other than Dumbles' death at the end, I don't recall anything super horrific happening to Harry in this one.
This book has 30 chapters and it takes 8 to get to Hogwarts.
Apparently the British Prime Minister in 1995 was John Major. He seemed to have been Minister from 1990 to 1997, so for most of the series.
It is one of my favorite little details of the world that the muggle Prime Minister and the Minister for Magic do in fact meet and discuss important happenings.
"'And I must say, you're taking it a lot better than your predecessor. He tried to throw me out of the window, thought I was a hoax planned by the opposition.'" John Major's predecessor for Prime Minister was Margaret Thatcher, who was Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990. Fudge's use of the word 'he' though, could mean Thatcher did not win as Prime Minister in this world.
But if the timeline is the same, that would mean Fudge was Minister since at least 1979. But if you remember from the fourth book, Crouch was almost made Minister until everything went down with his son and then Fudge was elected instead which means Fudge couldn't have been elected until 1981-1982. Therefore, the Prime Ministers are not exactly the same in this universe.
"'I won't deny morale is pretty low at the Ministry,' said Fudge. 'What with all that, and then losing Amelia Bones.'" Aw, dang. Her too?
"'And they're[dementors] breeding. That's what's causing all this mist.'" I'm sorry, breeding?? Okay, I admit I've never thought of how dementors reproduce or how they come to be at all but now I really want to know. Now I'm just wondering wtf is wrong with JKR that she would tell us the disgusting way wizards did their 'business' before adopting toilets and plumbing but she didn't reveal how dementors reproduce or where they actually come from.
Oooh Shacklebolt is guarding the Prime Minister. Cool.
"The harsh cry startled the fox, now crouching almost flat in the undergrowth." Awww🥹. I love foxes so much.
"There was of green light, a yelp, and the fox fell back to the ground, dead." Okay that's it. Killing muggles? Torturing the Longbottoms into near vegetation, killing Sirius, cutting 'MUDBLOOD' into Hermione's arm, and killing Dobby I can all overlook. But a dead fox? Time to behead this biatch.
"'Cissy - Narcissa - listen to me-'" Do love the characterization of Bellatrix calling her sister Cissy. I wonder if they had a nickname for Andromeda. Andy?
"'Cissy, you're own sister? You wouldn't-' 'There is nothing I wouldn't do anymore!' Narcissa breathed, a note of hysteria in her voice..." Can we just take a moment to appreciate everything Narcissa has been through? First her younger sister runs away and is exiled from the family, then one of her cousins does the same, then her older sister, her non-estranged cousin, her husband, and all their friends join a dark cult, then the cult leader dies, her sister and estranged cousin are sent to prison, her non-estranged cousin dies, leaving her without any of her birth family so all she has is her husband and her only son, years later, her house suddenly loses its servant, a month later, her estranged cousin breaks out of prison and is on the loose, 2 years later, her husband's cult leader comes back to life, 6 months later, her sister and the rest of the cult are broken out of prison, the cult leader gives her husband a job, in one night, he fails that job, he and the rest of the cult are sent back to prison, and her sister kills her estranged cousin, then as punishment towards her husband's failure, the cult leader gives her son an impossible job that is almost guaranteed to get him killed, and I can't remember when but I think the cult leader starts living with them at some point. And that's just all up until this moment.
"'Narcissa!' said the man, opening the door a little wider, so that the light fell upon her and her sister too. 'What a pleasant surprise!'" With Alan Rickman's performance, I seriously cannot imagine Snape speaking with exclamation-point-containing sentences unless it's to yell at children or the Maurauders. And I seriously can't imagine Snape declaring the calling of any human to his home a 'pleasant surprise'. But, of course, all his appearances up until now have been from Harry's perspective so l reckon this is a bit like finding out for the first time that your teacher has a life outside of school.
"'Yes, of course. Well, Wormtail's here, but we're not counting vermin, are we?'" How satisfying must it be for Snape to be able to treat one of his former tormentors like a less-than-human servant? And Dumbles thinks he doesn't belong in Slytherin.
And how sick is it for him to have secret doors hidden behind bookshelves? If he can have them in this shitty muggle-built house in this muggle neighborhood, there's no excuse for the rest of us not to have them.
Actually, now that I think about it, a bookshelf door would be really inconvenient because the books would be falling off every time you pulled the door closed. Which... is why all bookcase doors open by sliding sideways!
"'My apologies,' said Snape. 'He[Wormtail] has lately taken to listening at doors, I dont know what he means by it...'" What else does Wormtail have to listen to here at Snape's house? Nobody else lives there. Does Snape get other visitors? Or does Wormtail just listen at the door to Snape sleeping and pooping(you're welcome for the imagery) or what?
Man, Snape's arguments towards Bellatrix about why he doesn't seem as loyal to Lord Thingy is just brilliant. He plays on her own loyalty to convince her she's mistaken in doubting him. Gaslighting is bad irl but great gaslighting in fiction is like a 5 star meal.
"'And I will say this for Draco; he isn't shrinking away from his duty, he seems glad of a chance to prove himself, excited at the prospect-'" Ohh, that's interesting, and more in character for Draco. I only remember him moping around the whole year.
"Harry Potter was snoring loudly." Aww our little baby boy is all grown up.
"...a number of spellbooks lay higgledy-piggledy among the tangled robes on his bed..." Ok now she's just making up words. I can do it too. Puckledy-wuckledy.
"'I don't mean to be rude-' he [Vernon] began, in a tone that threatened rudeness with every syllable." I know I have SOMETHING to say about this but I'm not quite sure what.
"'- yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often,' Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely." That it does.
"'Ah,' said Dumbledore pleasantly, 'but in the wizarding world, we come of age at seventeen.'" I remember reading that as a kid and FINALLY having that cleared up because it wasn't clear to me for the rest of the series.
😂Dumbles explains to the Dursleys that Harry has already tried to kill Lord Thingy multiple times! Imagine what they must be thinking!
Ohhh shit Dumbles also calls out the Dursleys for 'mistreating' Dudley. I mean yeah, now that I think about it, wilfully turning your son into Cartman is pretty fucked up.
"Dumbledore waved his wand and the trunk, cage, and Hedwig vanished." FINALLY! FINALLY we actually SEE that happen! Finally, after five fucking books we see that there's actually a spell for sending items places!
But but but if that spell exists, why even have owls? Sure, you need them for underage witches and wizards, but why don't adult witches and wizards just use that spell to send their mail and packages to each other?
"He had never had a proper conversation with his Headmaster outside Hogwarts before; there was usually a desk between them." Lol yeah I never realized almost all of their conversations are in Dumbles' office. The only one I recall not is the one in the hospital wing at the end of book 1 and end of book 2, it happens in McGonagall's office.
"'-you can't Apparate anywhere inside the buildings or grounds,' said Harry quickly. 'Hermione Granger told me.'" Lol you dont have to specify her last name. Just saying HER first name is enough of a giveaway for who you're talking about. Plus teenagers dont usually refer to their best friends by full name with someone who knows who they're talking about.
"'That's what she[Umbridge] did, didn't she?' said Slughorn. 'Idiotic woman. Never liked her.' Harry chuckled..." Yeah that'll be just enough to get Harry to like and trust you.
"'Are you hungry, Harry?' 'Yeah, I am,' said Harry. 'Sit down, Harry, I'll knock something up.'" Woah woah woah, Molly! You'll what now?
"'Some idiot's started selling Metamorph-Medals. Just sling them around your neck and you'll be able to change your appearance at will. A hundred thousand disguises, all for 10 Galleons!' 'And what really happens when you put them on?' 'Mostly you just turn a fairly unpleasant orange colour...'" Ohh thaaaaaaat explains Trump.
"'We didn't know you were here already!' said a loud and excited voice, and he received a sharp blow to the top of the head. 'Ron, don't hit him!' said a girl's voice reproachfully." Uh, okay... they don't really explain how Ron hits him so I'm just imagining he karate chopped him on top the head. Bonk!
"'Bill and I are going to be married!'" She moves FAST. Only been a year since she laid eyes on him and they're already engaged. Only 2 years from first site to matrimony. She is the Disney princess of the Harry Potter world.
"'He's[Bill] a hard-working, down-to-earth sort of person, whereas she's-' 'A cow,' said Ginny, nodding." No! Bad Ginny!
"'He[Dumbledore] wouldn't be giving you[Harry] lessons if he thought you were a goner, wouldn't waste his time - he must think you've got a chance!'" Oh boy, Ron. Ohhhhh boy.
"'But it's[a black eye] got to come off!' squeaked Hermione. 'I can't go around looking like this for ever!'" Another example of Hermione suddenly caring about her appearance right after making fun of Fleur.
"'And they've found Igor Karkaroff's body in a shack up north.'" Holy shit.
"...their letters and book lists arrived from Hogwarts. Harry's included a surprise: He had been made Quidditch Captain." LET'S GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
"Bill, who would be staying at home with Fleur..." Look who's FINALLY getting the house to themselves 😏
Hm chapter 6 seems to be running with bits of nostalgia from the first book: Hagrid taking the lot shopping in Diagon Alley and the trio meeting Draco at Madam Malkin's.
"'Patented Daydream Charms... One simple incantation and you will enter a top quality, highly realistic thirty-minute daydream, easy to fit into the average school lesson and virtually undetectable (side-effects include vacant expression and minor drooling). Not for sale to under-sixteens. You know,' said Hermione, looking up at Harry, 'that really is extraordinary magic!'" Is it? Don't you know muggles have discovered AND invented multiple versions of that?
"'Malfoy? He's sixteen, Harry! You think You-Know-Who would let Malfoy join?'" You really think the cult leader would discriminate a potential follower just because of their age? And weren't most of the original Death Eaters fresh out of Hogwarts? Didn't Snape and Crouch Jr join right after leaving school at 17-18?
"...and Ginny's new Pygmy Puff, Arnold..." Adorable.
"Mr Weaseley looked taken aback. After a moment he said, 'Harry, I doubt whether You-Know-Who would allow a sixteen-year-old-'" Bruh. Never underestimate the badness of the biggest baddest guy.
It seriously feels out of character for Ron, Hermione, AND Arthur to be so doubtful of Harry's suspicions of Draco. I mean come on, Ron and Hermione know the sort of person Draco is. And if Lord Thingy is willing to kill children, why wouldn't he be willing to recruit children?
"'People expect you to have cooler friends than us,' said Luna. 'You are cool,' said Harry shortly. 'None of them was at the Ministry. They didn't fight with me.'" D'awww.
"...for Neville's parents, well-known Aurors, had been tortured into insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange and a couple of Death Eater cronies." Cronies? Uhhhh you mean her husband, his brother, and Barty Crouch Jr? Them cronies???
"...and watched Pansy stroke the sleek blond hair off Malfoy's forehead, smirking as she did so, as though anyone would have loved to be in her place." If your partner don't worship you like that, do you even have a partner?
"'He invited Longbottom?' 'Well, I assume so, as Longbottom was there,' said Zabini indifferently." 🤣 Blaise ain't having none of your shit.
"Harry felt as though his body was generating waves of hatred so powerful that it seemed incredible that Snape could not feel them burning him" Been there. It really is incredible they can't feel it.
"...thereby gaining his seat at the long Gryffindor table (which, inconveniently, was the furthest from the Entrance Hall)" Yeah the books seem to describe the House tables as perpendicular to the door instead of parallel like they are in the films. I like how they are in the films better. Not only is it nicer visually, but it just makes more sense for navigating the Great Hall.
"What he would not give to fight Malfoy one on one..." Huh, yeah I just realized that other than the Dueling club in book 2, Harry and Draco never do get to have a proper, no holds barred fight until the bathroom seen in this book.
"'Professor Snape, meanwhile, will be taking over the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.' 'No!' said Harry so loudly that many heads turned in his direction." Lol I remember that part well, especially Harry's reaction. He's SO offended 😂
"'What kind of mission would You-Know-Who have given him?' 'How do you know Voldemort doesn't need someone at Hogwarts? It wouldn't be the first-'" EXACTLY!
"Harry lost no time telling Hermione what he had overheard Malfoy saying on the Hogwarts Express 'But he was obviously showing off for Parkinson, wasn't he?' interjected Ron quickly." Come on, Ron, when have you ever known Draco to show off, especially to a girl, through lying? Through manipulating the system, through his father's power, through threats and insults and bullying, sure. But never has Draco ever tried to show off by lying.
"'Humph,' snorted Professor McGonagall. 'It's high time your[Neville's] grandmother learned to be proud of the grandson she's got, than the one she thinks she ought to have - particularly after what happened at the Ministry.'" McGiggles spittin' FACTS.
Parvati is brokenhearted that she doesn't get to have Firenze, 'the handsome centaur' as her Divination teacher🤣 I have never related to anyone in this series more.
"'You have had five teachers in this subject[Defense Against the Dark Arts] so far, I believe.'" Harry teaching the DA makes 6 but that was only for a handful or two of students in this year.
"'Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you're about to perform,' said Hermione, 'which gives you a split second advantage.' 'An answer copied almost word for word from The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6,' said Snape dismissively." He's got a point there. Are you learning or memorizing?
"'There's no need to call me 'sir', Professor,' The words escaped him before he knew what he was saying. Several people gasped, including Hermione." I didn't know he said that in front of the whole class! I thought it happened at an Occlumency lesson or something! That makes it even more legendary. Plus I'm pretty sure Snape would've smacked him if they were alone.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione are the only Gryffindor's in their year to go on to advanced Potions? First of all, I'm surprised Ron got Exceeds Expectations, second, nobody else did? Obviously Neville wouldn't but not Lavender? Not Parvati or Dean, or Seamus?
"Malfoy looked rather as he had done the time Hermione had punched him in the face." First of all 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Second of all, in the book, it was a slap. An open-handed slap. This author can't even remember what she wrote as she was writing the series.
God, Harry is SO obsessed with Draco this book: stalking him in Diagon Alley and on the train, noticing every little expression and movement he has. This must be where all the Drarry stuff comes from.
Of course! Snape's comment about Hermione reciting a word for word answer is the first hint that he's the Half-Blood Prince! Because writing out alternative brewing methods shows he values learning beyond the instructions.
Why WOULD Snape have kept his copy of Advanced Potion-Making in his classroom though? I could see him keeping it in his office or on his bookshelves at home but keeping it in the classroom just guarantees it'll be found by a student. Would he want a student finding his little invented spells? Particularly the couple of dangerous ones? That's like the equivalent of a teacher leaving a pamphlet on how to built a bomb in their classroom.
"'It might have been a girl. I think the handwriting looks more like a girl's than a boy's.'" Way to call the man out, Hermione.
"'Knave of spades: a dark young man, possibly troubled, one who dislikes the questioner-'" I personally don't subscribe to the headcanon that Harry is Desi or colored but I'm not going to ignore that.
"'But as I have already proven to you, I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being - forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger.'" Well, you got that right.
"Harry thought Ogden was being extremely dim; the stranger was making himself very clear in Harry's opinion, particularly as he was brandishing a wand in one hand and a short, rather bloody knife in the other." Yeah for real. Languages aside, read the man's body language.
"'Slytherin's!' yelled Gaunt. 'Salazar Slytherin's! We're his last living descendants, what do you say to that, eh?'" You're proud that the great Salazar Slytherin's legacy and blood has stopped here? With inbred white trash squalor? Do you really think Slytherin would be proud to call YOU his family?
Honestly it is a miracle that Tom Riddle Sr. didn't go have any kids after leaving Merope. Imagine if Lord Thingy had muggle half-siblings.
"'Sir, am I allowed to tell Ron and Hermione everything you've told me?'" Shoutout to the only time Harry actually ASKS to spill the beans to Ron and Hermione.
"Ritchie Coote" is one of the new Gryffindor Beaters. Oof, careful saying that name too fast.
Bruh by October, Harry was using some of the Half-Blood Prince's spells on other people, including Filch! How did Snape not realize what was happening and find a reason to confiscate the book long before the bathroom incident? Okay, yeah, I was right in book 4, Madam Pomfrey is the only sane and responsible adult in the wizarding world.
"On the other hand, the Prince had proved a much more effective teacher than Snape so far." Hint #2 to the Prince's identity.
Being hoisted in the air by your ankle has to be in the top 20 worst ways to get woken up.
"'Why does it matter if it's handwritten?' said Harry. 'Because it's probably not Ministry of Magic-approved,' said Hermione." Well, now look who's sounding like Umbridge.
Glad Harry does remember Levicorpus was the spell his dad used on Snape.
"'My dad used the spell,' said Harry. 'I - Lupin told me.'" Also glad he still didn't tell Ron and Hermione about Snape's memory even after some months have passed since seeing it and he currently loathes Snape more than ever.
Ohh, another moment where I like the point Ron is making. Hermione points out Death Eaters also made people float at the Quidditch World Cup and Ron tells her that was different because they were abusing that type of magic. So I like that point because, well, you'd have to outlaw all spells that could possibly be abused. (I find myself relating this to gun control again but that's not something I want to get into here). On the other hand, this also asks the philosophical question of where is the line between "just having a laugh" and "being cruel"? I think Harry would be the one person who knows exactly where that line is after enduring years of cruelty from the Dursleys and Voldemort and the other bullies in his life.
Draco's plan was stupid. That cursed necklace never would've gotten passed Filch's search.
It would've been way more realistic that Harry remembered Draco had looked at the necklace years ago like a week after the incident with Katie. Realizing it right after it happened? Come on, that's not how people's memories work.
"'Good Lord,' said Professor McGonagall." Is that something witches and wizards would normally say?
"'Well, he[Draco] would look a bit of a prat carrying a necklace,' interjected Ron." And he'd slay like a QUEEN wearing it!
I like that the seriousness of the cursed necklace is enhanced by Katie having to go to St. Mungo's, and staying there for months, just from brushing the necklace.
"Caractacus Burke" say that out loud until you can get it right.
"'She didn't seem to have any idea how much it was worth. Happy to get ten Galleons for it. Best bargain we ever made!'" 10 Galleons for Slytherin's necklace? This is why witches need education.
"'But she could do magic!' said Harry impatiently. 'She could have got food and everything by herself by magic, couldn't she?'" Ooh, Harry sounding just like Tom Riddle there.
"'Of course, it is also possible that her unrequited love and the attendant despair sapped her of her powers; that can happen.'" Is that a hint to Tonks' situation?
"'I remember her saying "I hope he looks like his papa," and I won't lie, she was right to hope it, because she was no beauty-'" Well NOBODY is during LABOR.
I like to imagine present Dumbledore is over Harry's shoulder, mouthing all of past Dumbledore's lines when watching his own memory.
"It was not as though he was really surprised, thought Harry, he had an inkling that this might happen sooner or later." Omg Harry totally ships Ron and Hermione!
"Harry supposed he would just have to wait to see what happened under the influence of Butterbeer in Slughorn's dimly lit room on the night of the party." Wait to see what happens to Ron and Hermione under the influence of Butterbeer and a low lit party??? I-I-I mi-might have some ideas...
"'D'you think I want people saying my sister's a-' 'A what?' shouted Ginny, drawing her wand. 'A what, exactly?'" A......................... reeeeeeeeeeeeeally great kisser?
"'And Hermione snogged Viktor Krum...'" Ohhhhh! They DID canonically kiss!
But besides that, I don't like that Ginny's basically bullying Ron for not having any kissing experience. Sure, most people have their first kiss in their teens but thst doesn't mean it's bad or even unusual to not kiss anyone until adulthood/after leaving school.
"Harry lay awake for a long time, looking up at the canopy of his four-poster and trying to convince himself that his feelings for Ginny were entirely older-brotherly." Uhhhhh 👀
I love that part of Harry's plan is Hermione trying to tell Ron not to drink the drink 'spiked' with Liquid Luck. If there's one way to get Ron to do something, it's Hermione telling him not to.
"Firstly, Harry had to put up with the frequent presence of Lavender Brown, who seemed to regard any moment that she was not kissing Ron as a moment wasted." I can think of worse things.
"'So she's found out someone wants to snog me, too. Well, it's a free country. I haven't done anything wrong.'" I honestly didn't know people outside 'merica said "it's a free country".
"'What have you done to that book, you depraved boy?' 'It isn't the library's, it's mine!' said Harry hastily, snatching his copy of Advanced Potion-Making off the table as she[Madam Pince] lunged at it with a clawlike hand." Ugh I remember reading that at 12 and cringing so hard with secondhand embarrassment. Not as bad as an adult thankfully.
"'Wow, you like your Quidditch players, don't you? First Krum, then McLaggen...'" I was just thinking that the other day. All three of the guys Hermione goes out with are Quidditch players: Krum, McLaggen, and Ron. Odd for someone who barely likes Quidditch. Cho only goes out with Quidditch players too (Cedric, Harry, and the Ravenclaw captain I think) but at least she also plays the game.
"Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge." Ohhhh, Harry, you have noooooo idea.
"'But I don't think I've ever known such a natural at Potions!' said Slughorn, regarding Harry with a fond, if bloodshot, eye. 'Instinctive, you know - like his mother! I've only ever taught a few with this kind of ability - why, even Severus-'" Was Lily REALLY a natural? Or was Snape helping her out the whole time?
Part 2 coming soon
Books 1 and 2
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Book 3
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets · 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes
Book 4
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Reblog by @the-core-of · Books 1 and 2 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, c
Order of the Phoenix part 1
There are 38 chapters and, once again, it takes 11 to get to Hogwarts.
"The inhabitants of Privet Drive had retreated into the shade of their cool houses, windows thrown wide in the hope of tempting in a nonexistent breeze." Sometimes I think I'd like to live somewhere in Europe until I remember y'all don't have air conditioning.
On one hand, I empathize with Harry being peeved at Ron and Hermione not telling him anything in their letters or giving him a plan to see him and them supposedly staying at the same place together while he's stuck with the Dursleys. But on the other hand, he's ONLY been at the Dursleys a month and he's not a helpless little boy stuck under the stairs anymore. Like, just... just suck it up, Harry.
"*There you go, Sirius,* Harry thought dully. *Nothing rash. Kept my nose clean. Exactly the opposite of what you'd do.*" Exxxxxxactly.
"'Cool name,' said Harry, grinning and falling into step behind his cousin. 'But you'll always be Ickle Diddykins to me.'" For real, how can you be a gangster when your mummy still calls you baby names and does everything for you? Ig when the rest of the members of your gang come from the same "hood" and have similar upbringings, they don't mind so much.
"'Who's Cedric - your boyfriend?'" Dudley is a typical 90s bully so him calling Harry gay as an insult is completely accurate and it's not like we can hate him any more than we already do.
An interesting thing I find about the Harry Potter series is that almost all of the foes to Harry are just different types and levels of bullies. The Dursleys are physical and familial bullies. Draco is a social bully, peer bully. Lucius is a racist, classist bully. Snape is a teacher bully. Umbridge is a governmental bully, using rules and authority to put down and supress. Then the Death Eaters and Voldemort are on a whole other level but they're still just the most extreme example of bullies.
"'It's just lucky I put Mr. Tibbles on the case!'" Mrs. Figg uses her cats to keep an eye on Harry the same way Filch uses Mrs. Norris to keep an eye on students. Is this a common ability among Squibs? Like maybe squibs are capable of having familiars despite seemingly no other powers.
Mundungus Fletcher is another fucker I keep wondering why Dumbledore keeps entrusting important jobs to. He's notoriously a cowardly, swindling, thieving, slippery bloke. Sure, I know Dumbledore will take anyone into the Order who wants to be but why trust him with important jobs like watching Harry and being one of the duplicate Harry's? Not every misfit is a Hagrid, Albus.
"'DIDDY! Diddy, what's the matter with you?'" Yes, DIDDY, what IS the matter with you?
"'What did he do to you, Diddy?' Aunt Petunia said in a quivering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley's leather jacket. 'Was it - was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use - his thing?'" Ohhhhh Diddy Diddy Diddy Diddy Diddy Diddy diiiiiiiiid he use his thing? Diddy? DID HE? DIDDY???
Also, why is Dudley wearing a leather jacket on the hottest day of the summer? Ik he's supposed to be a gang leader but mayyyyybe switch to a leather vest or something.
"'All dark,' Dudley said horsely, shuddering. 'Everything dark. And then I h-heard... things. Inside m-my head...'" Those are called thoughts, Dudley.
I can't blame Petunia for hating magic when her exposure to it has been 1) a boy dropping a tree branch on her 2) her sister leaving for a special school that she wasn't allowed to go to 3) her sister coming home from said school doing a bunch of magic tricks and getting tons of attention from their parents 4) some skinny, messy haired, unemployed wizard marrying her sister, and 5) her sister getting fucking murdered by some other wizard.
I know Harry's mind is preoccupied but get or tell Petunia to get Dudley some chocolate already.
Poor Harry sending 3 of the same letter to Ron, Hermione, and Sirius, not knowing they're all staying at the same place.
Bit odd that "The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black" would be in a crappy Muggle neighborhood in London. I guess the neighborhood was probably built around Grimmauld Place but, still, Malfoy Manor makes more sense for an ancient, noble family.
I do think if Ron or Hermione had been in Harry's position and Harry had been at Grimmauld Place with the other and that Dumbledore had sworn them to secrecy, he'd have defied Dumbledore to keep his friend informed and I think that's thanks to the James in him.
Hasn't Grimmauld Place ONLY been abandoned for 14 years? The way the place is described makes it sound like it's been abandoned for 60-160 years.
"'He[Percy] said Dad was an idiot to run around with Dumbledore, that Dumbledore was heading for big trouble and Dad was going to go down with him.'" That would be spooky af if JKR had gone through with killing Arthur. Imagine how THAT would destroy Percy.
"'No one's lived here for ten years, not since my dear mother died...'" Only ten years then. Has Kreacher just been inviting dust and spiders and stuff into the house then?
"'Kingsley Shacklebolt's been a real asset too. He's in charge of the hunt for Sirius, so he's been feeding the Ministry information that Sirius is in Tibet.'" Love that.
"'Night,' Harry and Ron said to the twins. 'Sleep tight,' said Fred, winking." Ah, so he thinks Harry and Ron are lovers, of course. Imagine if Rita Skeeter had got her hands on that story.
I mean, when he's not staying at the Dursleys, and that one time he spent a month at The Leaky Cauldron, Harry is ALWAYS sharing a room with Ron. Whether it's at Hogwarts, The Burrow, the tent, or Grimmauld Place, Harry and Ron are always roomies.
"Mrs. Weaseley had laid out his freshly laundered jeans and T-shirt at the foot of his bed." Jeans and T-shirt for a hearing? For a hearing??? 1st of all, such casual clothes for a hearing, 2nd of all, muggle clothes at a wizard hearing. Sure, I guess he needs muggle clothes to blend in in London on his way to The Ministry but surely some trousers and a smart, button up shirt would be better? Surely there must've been SOME smart clothes of Dudley's that were passed down to Harry. Don't mind me, I'm not the fashion police... but I am the fashion judge... as in I will judge fictional fashion choices.
"'Just - just toast, thanks,' said Harry." I just realized whenever Harry is about to do something nerve-wracking, like a big Quidditch game or fight a dragon or attend a hearing that could change his life, he usually just eats toast for breakfast. I wonder if that's bc it's all he normally gets at the Dursleys so it's like his "default" breakfast that sort of grounds him in a way?
"'Don't lose your temper,' said Sirius abruptly. 'Be polite and stick to the facts.'" Either Sirius knows Harry REALLY well or he's thinking it's what James would do OR he's thinking it's what Lily would do.
"'Court Scribe, Percy Ignatius Weaseley.'" At least Fudge gets his name right.
The transition from the whimsical, magical world we're introduced to in the first book to the bureaucracy in this book does give that "growing up" with Harry feeling this series is known for.
"'Yes, Professor Lupin taught me in my third year, because of the-'" I am surprised none of the Ministry officials try to use this, his admittance to having a close relationship with a known werewolf, against him here.
"'Well, one was very large, and the other one rather skinny-'" Mrs. Figg describing Dudley and Harry when asked what the dementors looked like has to be one of my favorite underrated jokes in this series.
Dumbledore forcing Fudge to see that the dementors had to have either worked under the command of someone within the Ministry or that they were acting outside the order of the Ministry was delicious. But trying to get Fudge to admit Harry's Patronus was justified and Fudge having weak arguments is less savory. There's no true battle of wits there.
I wonder if Arthur is outside the courtroom, questioning Mrs. Figg about Muggle living.
"Harry swept the last of the droppings into a rubbish bag and threw the bag over Ron's head into the wastepaper basket in the corner, which swallowed it and belched loudly." A garbage eating garbage can is a magical item I could definitely live with. I mean... as long as there's no "output".
I get why Harry wasn't picked to be Prefect but, like, why Ron? Surely Seamus or Dean could've been.
"'Oh - I dunno-' said Harry, slightly alarmed at being asked his opinion..." Ahh classic abused/neglected child response.
"She[Luna] did not seem to need to blink as much as normal humans." Lol.
Harry's crush walking in on him while he's covered in Stinksap is so hilariously relatable.
"'And that complete cow Pansy Parkinson,' said Hermione viciously." Goddamn, Hermione.
Ha! Hermione trash-talking The Quibbler only for Luna to reveal her father is the editor is way too good.
Man, a lot of Luna's actions in her debut chapter have me thinking she might've had a crush on Ron at this time. She sorta casually mentions she wouldn't have minded going to the Yule Ball with him, she does an over-the-top laugh when he makes a joke, she offers to carry Pigwidgen. I mean maybe Luna's different but that's all stuff I would do if I had a crush on someone.
I gotta say, this book spends a lot more time than the books before it focusing on Harry's inner thoughts and I think that's why it's so much longer.
"'My parents are Muggles, mate,' said Dean, shrugging. 'They don't know nothing about no deaths at Hogwarts, because I'm not stupid enough to tell them.'" Good man, Dean.
Dumbledore ignoring Harry all year is another choice that pisses me off. I can MAYBE forgive his stupid reason if he just started off doing that and then came around/realized he was probably doing more damage than good to Harry by Christmas but the WHOLE school year? Even after the Sorting Hat's warning song and one of the main messages of this book being unification, standing together, not going through it alone? Come on, Albus.
"Before Hermione could answer, a tall black girl with long, braided hair had marched up to Harry." Pretty sure that's the first time Angelina's race has been specified in the books.
It is impressive that Snape can always tell exactly what is wrong with a potion just by looking at it. 14 years a Potion's Master.
I realllllly wish we got to see Fred and George in class with Umbridge. Heck, Luna too.
"'We're not going to use magic?' Ron ejaculated loudly." Hem hem 👀. Yeah, I think you can put the thesaurus away, JKR...
Uhh, good thing McGonagall didn't have a class to teach when Harry gets sent to her ig...
Right, so its very obviously spelled out within the book that Umbridge's presence means that the Ministry is interfering at Hogwarts. So, what Umbridge represents is a state-controlled education. Sorry, a corrupt state-controlled education. We've all heard that the reason Umbridge is so much more hated than Voldemort is because she's a teacher and we've almost all dealt with a horrible teacher but that's not quite it I think. As I've gotten older, I've realized, and it's soooo obvious, that Umbridge ISN'T a teacher. She is a government employee, she has NO business being in a teaching position. What she is, what she represents, is censorship: government-issued censorship at the educational level. And THAT is wayyyyy more terrifying, way more fucked up than anything Voldemort represents.
Oh yeah, 1 September, 1995 was on a Friday so the next day, when they have their first classes would be Saturday.
"We've got a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Umbridge. She's nearly as nice as your[Sirius'] mum." That's a good way to put it.
"'Hey, Johnson, what's with that hairstyle anyway?' shrieked Pansy Parkinson from below. 'Why would anyone want to look like they've got worms coming out of their head?'" Dats racist.
Lol why is Lucius the only one whose age is revealed in the article about Umbridge becoming High Inquisitor? The paper gets a statement from Percy and talks about Umbridge, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Lupin and other people but only Lucius, giving a statement, has his age, 41, given.
"Wizengamot elders, Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of High Inquisitor to Hogwarts." That is never the correct way to protest in that position. You're not quitting from Starbucks because of some unfair rules or wages, you're taking your opposing voice out of the discussion.
"'Oh, I can't wait to see McGonagall inspected,' said Ron happily. 'Umbridge won't know what hit her.'" Ron is so us.
"'Let's say I dreamed I was... drowning Snape in my caudron. Yeah, that'll do.'" Yes, Harry, that won't add to your madness reputation at all...
What are the Defense Against the Dark Arts classes doing while Umbridge is inspecting the other teachers?
"Harry wondered dully whether there were enough chapters in the book to keep them reading through all this year's lesson and was on the point of checking the contents..." I was just wondering the same thing.
Always loved the power move of Hermione reading the whole book when the class is just on chapter 2.
"'I am here to teach you using a Ministry approved method that does not include inviting students to share their opinions on matters about which they understand very little.'" See my previous statement about Umbridge.
"'I wonder,' said Professor McGonagall in cold fury, turning on Professor Umbridge, 'how you expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I am talking.'" I think we all wish we could pull a mic drop like that whenever we pleased.
"...and all three of them had managed to vanish their mice in Transfiguration (Hermione had actually progressed to vanishing kittens)," Where does McGonagall get all these animals?
"'Yeah, but I doubt anyone except you two would want to be taught by me. I'm a nutter, remember?'" Oh, come on, Harry, you could've at least thought of Ginny or even Neville.
Lol the meeting at the Hog's Head would be Dennis Creevey's first ever Hogsmeade weekend.
"'Which one was Michael Corner?' Ron demanded furiously. 'The dark one,' said Hermione. 'I didn't like him,' said Ron at once. 'Big surprise,' said Hermione under her breath." Racist.
"Any student found to have formed, or belong to, an Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club that has not been approved by the High Inquisitor will be expelled." Just form a student Club that includes the entire school. They can't expell us all!
"'Yes,' said Professor Binns, clearly very much wrong-footed. 'Yes... yes, hospital wing... well, off you go, then, Perkins.'" Binns, completely unaware of the plot or story he's in.
"'And as for Potter... my father says it's a matter of time before the Ministry has him carted off to St. Mungo's... apparently they've got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic...'" Forshadowing Lockhart and the Longbottoms.
It's also hilarious to imagine Draco and Lucius gossiping about Harry through letters.
"'You've got a lot to learn, Hermione.'" If there's one thing, just one thing, that Sirius knows more about than Hermione, it's how to break the rules.
"It was warm and comfortable in his armchair before the fire, with the rain still beating heavily on the windowpanes and Crookshanks purring and the crackling of the flames..." And inside the empty common room inside a castle at midnight 🤌.
"'Oh please,' said Zacharias Smith, rolling his eyes and folding his arms. 'I don't think Expelliarmus is exactly going to help us against You-Know-Who, do you?'" You dumb bitch.
"She gave each of the members of the D.A. a fake Galleon (Ron became very excited when he saw the basket at first, convinced that she was actually giving out gold)." Awww, poor Ron. Literally 😂
"During one memorable practice, he[Ron] had hung one-handed from his broom and kicked the Quaffle so hard away from the goal hoop that it soared the length of the pitch and through the center hoop at the other end." Daaaaaaamn, Ron.
Harry is holding George back from attacking Draco. Why why WHY would Draco insult the mother of the one guy holding another guy back from clobbering him? Dumbass Draco.
"'But instead of leaving it to Madam Hooch to sort out, you two decided to give an exhibition of Muggle dueling, did you?'" Is comparing someone to a muggle the wizarding equivalent of saying they're acting like an animal or ape?
"...the door creaked open, and Hagrid's head appeared in the gap. Hermione screamed." Well, tha's fuckin' rude.
"'There are three sets of footprints in the snow leading from the castle doors to your cabin,' said Umbridge sleekly." Yeahhhhh they should've just flown to Hagrid's on Ron's broom.
"'Yes, as gamekeeper fresh air must be so difficult to come by,' said Umbridge sweetly." Hey, he's living in Scotland, maybe he needs some good ol' vitamin D or a change in elevation or some drier or wetter air or something.
Yeah, I don't think Harry should've gotten to date Cho because, as far as we know, Cho is his first ever crush and how accurate is it that you actually get to date your first crush? At least it's accurate enough that they don't stay together.
"'What sort of person cries when someone is kissing them?'" I mean it is pretty rude.
"'Well,' said Harry, an unpleasant heat creeping up his face, 'I sort of - patted her on the back.'" 😅Oh, Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry.
Think Harry might've been speaking parseltongue in his sleep while dreaming he was Nagini attacking Arthur?
Sending Harry and the Weaseleys back to Grimmauld Place in the middle of the night without ANY of their THINGS. Just stuck in the same night clothes until January!
"...and one guttering candle, which illuminated the remains of a solitary supper." It is after midnight, Sirius. Guess I shouldn't be too surprised that he's a night owl.
"'Just stop worrying...'" 🙄 men.
"Their trunks arrived from Hogwarts while they were eating lunch..." How? How??? By owl? Is there a spell for that? The banishing spell, the opposite of Accio? Did their trunks and owls zoom across the sky from Scotland to London? Or is there a sort of Apparating spell for items? They don't say HOW!
"He felt dirty, contaminated, as though he were carrying some deadly germ, unworthy to sit on the underground train back from the hospital with innocent, clean people whose minds and bodies were free from the taint of Voldemort..." Ugh, that was nicely written. Wonder who wrote that 🤔
"He had no alternative. He was going to have to return to Privet Drive, cut himself off from other wizards entirely." After all that worrying about attacking someone while possessed by Voldemort, including his dorm mates, fuck the Dursleys ig lmao.
But seriously, that might be the moment Harry grew up (or maybe one moment of growth). Deciding to go back to the place he hates the most in order to protect the people he cares about.
"He supposed none of them would want him there anymore now that they knew what was inside him..." It IS very teenager of Harry to be so wrapped up in his own issue that he completely forgot about Ginny also getting possessed by Voldemort.
Sirius and Lupin both got Harry a single present. Which means either only one of them got it and put both of their names on it because the other forgot to get a present or because they are married. Okay okay, it's most likely Sirius was unable to get presents so Lupin added Sirius' name to his.
Ron gets Harry candy and he gets Hermione perfume for Christmas... Okay, Ron, I see you 😏
It is neat we get to see what became of Lockhart instead of him just disappearing from the series.
Part 2 is on the way
Order of the Phoenix part 2
"'Snape?' said Harry blankly. 'Professor Snape, dear,' said Mrs. Weaseley reprovingly." It's definitely a generational thing. By highschool, me and all my classmates just called our teachers by their last names instead of Mr/Mrs/Miss and I don't remember it ever being corrected lol.
"'How touching,' Snape sneered. 'But surely you have noticed that Potter is very like his father?' 'Yes, I have,' said Sirius proudly." Hmm, interesting. Snape has to be the one person who sees the worst in James while Sirius is the person who sees the best in James. And Lily has to be the person who has seen the most of both.
"Sirius pushed his chair roughly aside and strode around the table towards Snape, pulling out his wand as he went." Wait, I thought Sirius was wandless this whole time. Thought they would've taken it and maybe snapped it when he went to Azkaban. How does he have a wand?
Come on, Harry, you need to at least look at the thing Sirius gave you even if you don't want to use it. That wouldn't hurt.
"'Yes, it's on Valentine's day...' 'Right,' said Harry, wondering why she was telling him this. 'Well, I suppose you want to-' 'Only if you do,' she said eagerly." Ohhh, poor Cho. Don't think Harry has thought about her or their kiss since he went to bed that night.
"'Only Muggles talk of 'mind reading.''" Well, Sir, the boy was raised by Muggles so excuse him for talking like one.
"Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thin finger as he did so." wHAT?!
"Snape stared at Harry for a few moments, still tracing his mouth with his finger." Man, stop stimming, it's getting weird.
"She[Bellatrix] had long, dark hair that looked unkempt and straggly in the picture, though he had seen it sleek, thick, and shiny." Ah so it was Azkaban that gave Bellatrix her iconic, wild hair. Definitely a great visual characterization for the films to keep it that way permanently.
"'...we could've stopped this from happening...' 'Who expects Devil's Snare to turn up in a hospital disguised as a potted plant?' said Ron sharply. 'It's not our fault, whoever sent it to the bloke is to blame!'" I like this from Ron. Unnecessary guilt just does more damage to you. Even Neville, the herbology expert, walked right by the plant and didn't realize what it was if he saw it at all. Learn from the experience to be more alert for things like that.
You know, I'm surprised that the books never actually take us to visit Azkaban. We visit all sorts of obscure places from the Shrieking Shack to the Ministry, Malfoy Manor and the Hog's Head, even Snape's house. But we never actually go and see Azkaban prison despite it being a pretty important place within the world and the series since book 2.
Wow, Lee Jordan is the first student confirmed to receive Umbridge's punishment after Harry.
"Every single Divination and Care of Magical Creatures class was now conducted in the presence of Umbridge and her clipboard." Again, what about HER classes? Are there THAT many periods without a Defense Against the Dark Arts class???
"'Shut up, Ron,' said Hermione angrily. 'How many times have you suspected Snape, and when have you ever been right? Dumbledore trusts him, he works for the Order, that ought to be enough.'" Sure, the audience who has gone through the whole series knows that Snape is not an evil death eater. But, Hermione, please do not put ALL your faith in Dumbledore. He is not a god but a man. Please, Hermione, you're a clever girl so please, think for yourself and let a man think for himself. Let Ron say what he thinks because maybe he just needs to hear how it sounds in order to analyze it, maybe he just needs to put it out there to see what his friends think. And remember, Hermione, Ron was right about Lockhart and he was right about Fleur when you weren't. Hermione's clever but not in many of the ways I like.
"'Potter and Chang!' screeched Pansy to a chorus of snide giggles. 'Urgh, Chang, I don't think much of your taste... at least Diggory was good-looking!'" I... I was honestly expecting something racist...
It is kind of a nightmare scenario for a date/conversation to end with the other person running off crying while a room full of people watch.
"'Well, you see,' said Hermione, with the patient air of one explaining that one plus one equals two to an overemotional toddler..." Yeahhhhhhhhhh.
"'Hermione,' said Harry, shaking his head, 'you're good on feelings and stuff, but you just don't understand about Quidditch.' 'Maybe not,' she said darkly, 'but at least my happiness doesn't depend on Ron's goalkeeping ability.'" Ooooooof.
Think Harry's dorm mates are getting sick of being woken by his screams of bloody murder in the middle of the night?
"'Can you tell me something, sir?' said Harry, firing up again. 'Why do you call Voldemort the Dark Lord, I've only ever heard Death Eaters call him that-'" Ooohhhhhh! Get called out!
I love that every single person at Hogwarts wants to pull shit on Umbridge to the point even Dumbledore does the most hilarious thing to piss her off by hiring a centaur.
"'A gorgeous centaur...' sighed Parvati." Yeah and isn't he also, y'know, technically completely naked? Like just horse dong out, horse bootyhole out for all the students to see? Kinda... I mean... even trolls put on a loin cloth, right?
"'Did Hagrid breed you, like the thestrals?' asked Dean eagerly." Oh, Dean, noooo.
"'Oh, so that's why he wasn't prosecuted for setting up all those regurgitating toilets,' said Professor McGonagall, raising her eyebrows. 'What an interesting insight into our justice system!'" Haha! YEAH!
"'-why are you shaking your head, girl?' 'Well, usually when a person shakes their head,' said McGonagall coldly, 'they mean 'no.''" Oh my GOD the sass from McGonagall!
"'Malfoy just docked us all about fifty points,' said Harry furiously." I thought you said you could do 'maths', Harry? It was only like 25.
"He took several hasty steps backward; Filch was best viewed at a distance." SAVAGE.
"'Not at all, ma'am, not at all,' said Filch, bowing as low as his rheumatism would permit, and exiting backwards." AND he canonically has rheumatism on top of cleaning and caring for an entire castle singlehandedly without magic? He better have one hell of a pension.
Could Umbridge be any more obvious that she's trying to give Harry truth serum? We and he know she'd never insist on sharing a drink with a student for any other reason.
"'It's alright, Draco,' said Snape, lowering his wand." Think Draco is the only student Snape calls by first name.
"He[young Sirius] was very good-looking... and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn't seem to have noticed." How gay is Sirius? Yes.
I know the pensieve is unbiased but it's still unbelievable Harry can listen to the Maurauder's conversation while Snape is almost definitely out of earshot.
"Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows." This might be the most telling contextual detail within Snape's memory. Lupin is not surprised by ANY of what is about to happen.
"James and Sirius advanced on him, wands up, James glancing at the girls at the water's edge as he went." So, I don't think it's the sole reason James harasses Snape but one of his reasons, I would guess, must be that it's the only/main way that Lily will almost guaranteed talk to him.
"Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but his wand being nearly ten feet away nothing happened." Harry turned Marge into a human balloon just by staring at her while angry, wtf do you mean nothing happened?
"'All right, Evans?' said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature." Lol that's the most teenage boy thing ever.
"'Go on... go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.' 'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,' said Lily." What a shitty friend.
"Many people in the small crowd watching cheered." I mean I guess you gotta wonder HOW Snape got so unpopular. Is it because he looks weird? Acts weird? Because he's poor? Because he's in Slytherin? Because he likes the dark arts? Because his crowd look to be heading towards becoming Death Eaters? Or is he just unpopular because James is popular and made him into the butt of every joke?
"'I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!'" It is wild that that's Snape's first dialogue in this whole memory(not counting the mix of swears and hexes.)
But besides Snape being in a harassed state and stressful, humiliating situation, I think maybe the reason he lashes out at Lily is because getting 'rescued' by a girl or muggleborn also emasculates him. This is the 70's after all. Or, of course, it could be Snape being noble by turning her against him so that James and Sirius don't go after Lily. We know Snape is clever but would he be that clever at 16 and while in this situation? Mayyyybe?
"Lily blinked. 'Fine. I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.'" What a shitty friend.
"'...walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can-'" And why CAN he? Because his family's rich? Because he's popular? Because he's the Quidditch star? Because the staff love him? Lily, you dumb croissant, you are a prefect, you can punish him. We know why Lupin doesn't but Lily has no excuse.
And he picks on more than just Snape, does he get the same laughs and cheers for all of those or just Snape? Does he get away with that with everyone or just with Snape? Do you think he only does it to Slytherin students?
"'You will not tell anybody what you saw!' Snape bellowed. 'No,' said Harry... 'No, of course I w-'" Snape's worst memory and Neville's parents has to be the only two things Harry doesn't go and tell Ron and Hermione about.
"What was making Harry feel so horrified and unhappy was not being shouted at or having jars thrown at him - it was that he knew how it felt to be humiliated in the middle of a crowd of onlookers, knew exactly how Snape had felt as his father had taunted him, and that judging from what he had just seen, his father had been every bit as arrogant as Snape had always told him." As I've said before, Harry has a strong sense of justice and, thanks to his time with the Dursleys, 0 tolerance for bullies. And he's just found out that his father was the Dudley of his peers.
I love love love LOVE Harry's reaction to Snape's worst memory. He doesn't stay biased towards his father, he doesn't try to justify his father's actions because of how Snape treats him, he doesn't blab about it even to his best friends, the only people he DOES try to talk to about it are two of the other people that were part of the situation(Sirius and Lupin), and I love that he DOES try to hear out the other side.
And you know what? I think Harry viewing SWM has to be one of, if not the most critical moment in his character development. Because seeing his father and godfather being bullies but still having love for both of them is, I think, the first step to Harry forgiving the bullies in his life. Knowing that they have done horrible things but they are not horrible people is how he came to be able to forgive Petunia and Dudley to the point of being on "Christmas card terms" with his cousin. It's how he was able to forgive Draco and Snape. AND, because he, or at least the audience, has seen what can become of a man who can't let go of what has been done to him, who couldn't forgive his tormentors. That tormented kid, because he couldn't let go, because he couldn't forgive, he grew up and he became the tormentor. But Harry, Harry ends the cycle of abuse. The Harry by the end of the series would never take his frustrations out on Dudley's kids because of what Dudley had done to him, nor Draco's. Sure, there's people like Umbridge and Voldemort who are beyond forgiveness but I think that's because they each represent something MORE, they're more forces than they are human characters.
The Maurauders, Snape, and Lily have to be the most complex characters with the most complex dynamic with so very little of the dynamic actually shown in the series and that's why there's such a divide in the fandom over them.
Harry's sense of justice doesn't come from an eye for an eye. He doesn't want revenge on Voldemort for killing his parents, he doesn't want revenge on Umbridge for taking his Firebolt, and yes, his immediate reaction to Bellatrix killing Sirius is revenge but that doesn't last for very long. He's motivated by stopping these people. Voldemort needs to be stopped. Umbridge has to be stopped. Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters need to be stopped.
Yeah, I knew I was going to have A LOT to say about SWM and Harry's reaction to it but I have one more, albeit very long thing to say about it and it is this: I am in a unique position to give a view on Harry's relationship with James throughout the story, and Harry's views and opinions of James and how they change. And I can say that it is scarily accurate, scarily similar to my own experience. Because, like Harry, I also lost a parent when I was too young to form a meaningful, conscious relationship or meaningful memories with them. And, like Harry from the very MINUTE that he met Hagrid, I also grew up hearing about what an amazing person that parent was, grew up hearing all kinds of crazy stories about how that parent was a wild troublemaker who was also a wonderful person with a big heart, grew up, like Harry, being told by everyone who knew that parent how much I look and act like him, grew up, like Harry, idolizing this parent and feeling pride to be able to say I was HIS child, his one and only child. And then... to one day find out from one person something... troubling that my father did, something seemingly unforgivable, something that is probably objectively and subjectively worse than what James did to Snape. To suddenly, like Harry, find our idolization of our fathers shattering. You can imagine. I don't have to. Well, unlike James, the thing my dad did wasn't at all public so it wasn't anyone's fault that they only had fun stories but I can't help but wish I had known he wasn't so wonderful sooner. So Harry, I KNOW wishes had known the truth about James sooner. Though, it's not like there wasn't someone trying to tell him but between Hagrid and Dumbledore and McGonagall and Sirius and Lupin, it really shows you the bias you have towards someone after they die. Suddenly you only remember the best things about them, and if they have a kid, you want them to know all of those things. You find yourself unconsciously trying to protect that kid from anything negative about their deceased parent. But is that right? Should you only paint that person in the best colors and the best light? Or should you let that child know who their parent truly was? Sure it's better than complete alienation but... but when would you tell them? At 11? 15? 21? I KNOW 21 is too late but is 11 to young? Is 15 too young? Or too late?
Alright, finally back to the story. Thank you if you read all of that.
"'You've given me an evening off every week!' 'That's for Quidditch practice,' said Hermione." Hermione and JKR clearly don't know much about being an athlete. I wasn't even an athlete and I know you have to practice almost daily.
"Harry remembered Lupin saying back in Grimmauld Place that Dumbledore had made him prefect in the hope that he would be able to exercise some control over James and Sirius... but in the Pensieve, he had sat there and let it all happen..." Yeah, if we assume that Lupin had NEVER had anything to do with the Maurauder's treatment of Snape, he definitely would've been in a difficult position. My guess is that the animosity started out at a level that Lupin could get involved in, lighthearted enough jokes(in their eyes) not unlike Neville's boggart, but by 5th year, as everyone got more skillful and as Snape's allies(Lily and Lucius) left his corner, it all escalated to full harassment and bullying. And from what we've seen in the memory, Lupin doesn't seem to have any other major issues with his friends. So, knowing of his werewolf status, knowing he's NEVER had friends before those three, knowing all that those friends have done for him, yeah, I'd have a hard time standing up to them too at that age. It's not right, of course in that situation, but yeah that is a dilemma.
"She had clearly loathed James and Harry simply could not understand how they ended up married. Once or twice he even wondered if James had forced her into it..." Oof, yeah that'd be a hell of a thing to have to realize about your parents.
"'The thing about growing up with Fred and George,' said Ginny thoughtfully, 'is that you sort of start thinking anythings possible if you've got enough nerve.'" Hell yeah!
"'Well, I thought of, maybe, being an Auror,' Harry mumbled." I was always disappointed Harry never played any pro Quidditch, even for a couple years. I mean, come on, he was the youngest seeker at Hogwarts in a century and his flying was admired by an international Quidditch star and a retired Quidditch pro. Ig it's cool that Ginny went pro briefly but Angelina said she was nothing on Harry.
McGonagall repeatedly offering Umbridge a cough drop is hilarious.
"'I wouldn't like you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry. He was only fifteen-' 'I'm fifteen!' said Harry heatedly." Yes! Exactly! I HATE when people use age as an excuse for shitty behavior. When parents say "oh he's just a kid he doesn't know any better," bitch, he's 10! If he doesn't know any better it's because YOU aren't teaching him better. Point is "he was only 15" is not an excuse and good for Harry for not accepting it as one.
"'Well,' said Lupin slowly, 'Snape was a bit of a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn't really expect James to take that lying down, could you?'" Ohh... now that's interesting. I can't believe that doesn't get talked about more. But what does he mean by that? Does that mean that Snape would try to attack James whenever he could or does that mean Snape would use curses when fighting with James that would give Snape an edge when one on one? Hmmm?
Can we talk about how Fred and George were literally about to get whipped for their prank?
God, I hope the twins' swamp is just a permanent feature in Hogwarts for the rest of eternity.
"Eventually the area was roped off and Filch, gnashing his teeth furiously, was given the task of punting students across it to their classrooms." I'm sorry whAT? 👁👄👁
Does Dumbledore know about Grawp? I mean ik Dumbles can find out just about anything going on in and around the castle so he must know but I mean did Hagrid tell him?
"Grawp raised dirty knuckles the size of cricket balls to his eyes..." I'm American, that unit of measurement means nothing! I swear British people will use anything but the imperial system.
"A man's naked torso seemed for an instant to be floating toward them..." Mmmm😏
"'I won' be kept outta the fores' by a bunch of mules like you!' said Hagrid loudly." God.... dammit, Hagrid.
"Meanwhile a flourishing black-market trade in aids to concentration, mental agility, and wakefulness had sprung up among the fifth and seventh years." Mmm good ol' wizard drugs, Adderall's got nothing on 'em.
"Harry raised his wand, looked directly at Umbridge, and imagined her being sacked. 'Expecto Patronum!'" I think even a muggle could produce a Patronus at that.
"Dumbledore had gone, Hagrid had gone but he had always expected McGonagall to be there, irascible and inflexible, perhaps, but always dependably, solidly present..." Aww...
"'We'll have to use Umbridge's fire and see if we can contact him,' said Hermione." ORRRRR..... have Dobby apparate to Grimmauld Place to see if Sirius is there and have him report back. Way less risky.
"Malfoy was leaning against the windowsill, smirking as he threw Harry's wand into the air one-handed and then caught it again." Isn't that hazardous?
You know Harry's desperate when he's ready to ask Snape for help. And asking Snape to help a man he knows he hates.
"Luna, however, stood limply by the side of her captor, gazing vaguely out of the window as though rather bored by the proceedings." Lol I want what she's on.
Snape could've at least given Harry a subtle nod of understanding. Not like a "yes" nod but one that just looks more like a reactive nod. Like he knows how thick and impulsive Harry is. He knows that if Harry doesn't KNOW something is being done that Harry will definitely try to do something reckless himself.
"'And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates, it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid i shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.'" 🤣 That's how Snape saves a life!
Brilliant of Hermione to tell Umbridge that Dumbledore has a secret weapon, exactly the sort of thing she was sent to Hogwarts to look out for.
Jesus Christ, Hermione. Purposely bringing Umbridge to provoke the centaurs. She's mad.
"Wandless, Harry braced himself to punch, kick, bite, or whatever else it took as the hand flew toward him..." Lol Harry was ready to bite a giant on the hand, can you imagine?
"'Well, we'll have to fly, won't we?' said Luna..." Flying on the backs of Thestrals always seemed so magical and whimsical and amazing but as an adult now, I'm just like... you're going from Scotland to London! Even a fast-flying creature going straight there is going to take a few hours. Once again, just ask Dobby to apparate you guys there.
"'You're too-' Harry began. 'I'm three years older than you were when you fought You-Know-Who over the Philosopher's Stone,' she[Ginny] said fiercely." Good fucking point. And Harry about to sound like Molly, telling Ginny she's too young.
Honestly it would've been smarter for Voldemort to wait to bait Harry into coming to the Department of Mysteries until after he returned to the Dursley's for the summer. Think about it: at the Dursley's, Harry has no way of instantly checking where Sirius is, he has no way of instantly talking to his friends or members of the Order who could talk him out of going, Harry would definitely just hop on his broom or get on the Knight Bus and go straight there. Only thing would be if a member of the Order was watching Harry but I think Voldemort could definitely send someone to take care of or distract that person.
Love that the phone box gives them badges that say "RESCUE MISSION". Adorable.
"'He's here. I know he is.'" Dammit, Harry, this is why you're not in Ravenclaw. And also why you don't belong in Slytherin. Can't even comprehend the biggest evilest evildoers done did trickered him.
"'Oh, you don't know Potter as I do, Bellatrix,' said Malfoy softly. 'He has a great weakness for heroics...'" Why, just the second time I met the boy he freed my fucking house elf. My house elf! I mean who fucking does that?
Wow, I knew all the time-turners were destroyed in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries but I didn't know it was Neville who smashed them. Legend.
"His appearance was utterly bizarre, his tiny baby's head bawling loudly while his thick arms flailed dangerously in all directions, narrowly missing Harry, who ducked. Harry raised his wand but to his amazement Hermione seized his arm. 'You can't hurt a baby!'" Guess we know where Hermione stands on the baby Hitler dilemma.
"...who recognized the long, pale, twisted face from the Daily Prophet: Antonin Dolohov, the wizard who had murdered the Prewetts." Oh helllll nah! Not Molly's brothers' murderer.
"Harry ran for it as Bellatrix Lestrange sprinted right at him." Why is the visual of Bellatrix sprinting so funny? I'm imagining her running like the cop from Cloudly With a Chance of Meatballs with her eyes super wide and her mouth as a deep arch. So like O/\O
"Holding the prophecy high above his head he sprinted back up the room..." Lol this is just a really intense game of Keepaway.
"'You see, there are ten of us and only one of you... or hasn't Dumbledore ever taught you how to count?'" Ooooooofy! THAT'S a good one lolol!
"Neville had come lunging out of nowhere. Unable to articulate a spell, he had jabbed Hermione's wand into the eyehole of the Death Eater's mask." Holyyyy shhhhit Neville was hard-core wayyy before he pulled the sword out of the Sorting hat.
AND Neville's the one who accidentally smashes the prophecy????
"Bellatrix was almost at the telephone lift at the other end of the hall." Just realizing all the Death Eaters had to come in that way too and I find that amusing.
"He sent another Kiling Curse at Dumbledore but missed, instead hitting the security guard's desk, which burst into flames." Wait, the Killing Curse is flammable? What?
Bruh, when Harry asked Lucius why Voldemort doesn't come get the prophecy himself, Lucius laughed and told him Voldemort can't just waltz into the Ministry of Magic only for Voldemort to just show up at the Ministry of Magic like an hour later and be seen by the Minister and a bunch of Aurors and Ministry employees. He SHOULD'VE just beamed in like he did after hours, grabbed the prophecy, and beamed out as quick and quiet as a shadow. This cult leader fucking sucks. His plans are shit. Why are people falling for his BS??
Like let's go ahead and list off the results of this brilliant plan of The Dark Lord: 1. Harry and Dumbledore now know Voldy has sent a false vision to Harry, which means he cannot do that again, 2. Sirius is dead, this is the ONLY win for the Death Eaters here, 3. The prophecy, the thing Voldy spent all this time planning to get, has been smashed, 4. One Death Eater now has a baby head which may never be fixed, 5. Voldemort himself was seen by the Minister and others, exposing his return to the world, 6. Almost all of the Death Eaters present are caught and sent back to Azkaban, 7. Neville breaks his Dad's wand which results in him finally getting his own wand, and 8. A bunch of other prophecies and all the time-turners are also destroyed.
"'You will give the order to remove Dolores Umbridge from Hogwarts,' said Dumbledore." Ohhh, she's been removed.
"'You see, Dumbledore?' said Phineas Nigellus slyly, 'Never try to understand the students. They hate it. They would much rather be tragically misunderstood, wallow in self-pity, stew in their own-'" Lol yep. That is teenagers for ya.
"'Am I to understand,' said Phineas Nigellus slowly from Harry's left, 'that my great-great-grandson - the last of the Blacks - is dead?'" I mean Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda are all still alive and two of them have a kid but ig since they ARE women, they're not passing down the name so...
"'For I see now that what I have done, and not done, with regard to you, bears all the hallmarks of the failings of age.'" See? Dumbles IS senile!
"'I guessed, fifteen years ago,' said Dumbledore, 'when I saw the scar upon your forehead, what it might mean. I guessed that it might be the sign of a connection forged between you and Voldemort.'" Oooh! I told you! I told you at the very first chapter of the very first book he knew the whole time!
"'I do not think Sirius took me very seriously...'" Okay okay. Had to get one Sirius/serious sentence in while you could eh?
"'People don't like being locked up!' Harry said furiously, rounding on him. 'You did it to me all last summer-'" Don't forget the 10 years you spent in cupboard now, Harry. Get him for that while you're at it.
"'It is time for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything.'" Are you? ARE YOU???
"'You had suffered. I knew you would when I left you on your aunt and uncle's doorstep. I knew I was condemning you to ten dark and difficult years.'" Fuck. You.
"'He[Voldemort] shed her[Lily's] blood, but it lives on in you and her sister. Her blood became your refuge.'" Nah. Nope. I don't give a fuck. Fucking shitty excuse. Should have let him stay with Hagrid. I mean, come on, Dumbles, he'd have been right under your crooked nose the whole time.
Man, imagine if the prophecy had predicted, instead of Harry, that Draco would be the one with the power to vanquish The Dark Lord. Imagine. Imagine Lucius and Narcissa when they find out, imagine Bellatrix, imagine the rest of the Death Eaters when they find out Voldemort is going to try to kill the son of one of their own... I mean it's one thing for him to go after the son of some mudblood and people who fought against their cause but one of his loyalist followers? Would he still have any followers left?
"'But I don't!' said Harry in a strangled voice. 'I haven't any powers he hasn't got, I can't fight the way he did tonight, I can't posess people or - or kill them-'" Ohhhh I can't wait to get to just the right part in the 7th book, I've got plenty to say about Harry and his 'powers'.
"'We believe the Dementors are currently taking direction from Lord - Thingy.'" 🤣 Ah yes! The terrifying, villainous, murderous Lord Thingy!
"There were still deep welts on his forearms where the brains tentacles had wrapped around him. According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else..." Subtle.
"'Well, Flitwick's got rid of Fred and George's swamp,' said Ginny." Noooooo!
Well, at least Flitwick left a patch of it as a monument to the great bit of magic.
"Professor Umbridge was lying in a bed opposite them, gazing at the ceiling." Ewwww why is she still allowed on the grounds?
"He was finding it hard at the moment to decide whether he wanted to be with people or not. Whenever he was in company he wanted to get away, and whenever he was alone he wanted company." Mmm been there.
"'I s'pose Lord Voldemort's just a warm-up act compared to you three-'" Lol yeah fr.
"Whatever Dumbledore said, he would never forgive Snape... never..." Yeahhhh for some reason the version I got of the book completely leaves out the part where Dumbles tells Harry Snape was the one who overheard the prophecy and passed it to Lord Thingy. Idk why but the chapter cuts off prematurely and I can't find a version that does have it(not that I'm searching that extensively). I only know about it because I remember reading it as a kid so if I didn't already know about it, I'd have no clue what Harry is so pissed at Snape for here.
"'You two - Crabbe - Goyle- Here,' said Professor McGonagall, thrusting her carpetbag into Crabbe's chest and her cloak into Goyle's, 'take these up to my office for me.' So McGonagall just sees Slytherin students, or at least Crabbe and Goyle, as pack mules. We all know she could just Wingardium Leviosa her shit up to her office but she makes them carry it up without a please, thank you, or house points. If she wasn't a witch and was just a recovering older, magic-free woman, I'd just say she could've been more polite but she can use magic. Okay okay maybe she was just trying to get rid of Crabbe and Goyle but still.
"'What?' snapped Snape..." Oogh that really butters my croissant.
"Harry was holding the door open for him[Nearly-Headless Nick], but he drifted through the wall instead." Lol I haven't read that sentence in 16 years but I could still remember it almost word for word.
"By the time [a bunch of D.A. members] had finished using a wide variety of hexes and jinxes Harry had taught them, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle resembled nothing so much as three gigantic slugs squeezed into Hogwarts uniforms as Harry, Ernie, and Justin hoisted them into the luggage rack and left them there to ooze." Holy shit. And everyone gives Draco the ferret all the attention.
"...interjected Tonks, whose pink hair seemed to offend Aunt Petunia more than all the rest put together..." Omg yes, that makes sooo much sense. Petunia is such a Karen.
Phew! Next is book 6!
Books 1 and 2
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Book 3
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Book 4
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Reblog by @the-core-of · Books 1 and 2 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes, c
Order of the Phoenix part 1
There are 38 chapters and, once again, it takes 11 to get to Hogwarts.
"The inhabitants of Privet Drive had retreated into the shade of their cool houses, windows thrown wide in the hope of tempting in a nonexistent breeze." Sometimes I think I'd like to live somewhere in Europe until I remember y'all don't have air conditioning.
On one hand, I empathize with Harry being peeved at Ron and Hermione not telling him anything in their letters or giving him a plan to see him and them supposedly staying at the same place together while he's stuck with the Dursleys. But on the other hand, he's ONLY been at the Dursleys a month and he's not a helpless little boy stuck under the stairs anymore. Like, just... just suck it up, Harry.
"*There you go, Sirius,* Harry thought dully. *Nothing rash. Kept my nose clean. Exactly the opposite of what you'd do.*" Exxxxxxactly.
"'Cool name,' said Harry, grinning and falling into step behind his cousin. 'But you'll always be Ickle Diddykins to me.'" For real, how can you be a gangster when your mummy still calls you baby names and does everything for you? Ig when the rest of the members of your gang come from the same "hood" and have similar upbringings, they don't mind so much.
"'Who's Cedric - your boyfriend?'" Dudley is a typical 90s bully so him calling Harry gay as an insult is completely accurate and it's not like we can hate him any more than we already do.
An interesting thing I find about the Harry Potter series is that almost all of the foes to Harry are just different types and levels of bullies. The Dursleys are physical and familial bullies. Draco is a social bully, peer bully. Lucius is a racist, classist bully. Snape is a teacher bully. Umbridge is a governmental bully, using rules and authority to put down and supress. Then the Death Eaters and Voldemort are on a whole other level but they're still just the most extreme example of bullies.
"'It's just lucky I put Mr. Tibbles on the case!'" Mrs. Figg uses her cats to keep an eye on Harry the same way Filch uses Mrs. Norris to keep an eye on students. Is this a common ability among Squibs? Like maybe squibs are capable of having familiars despite seemingly no other powers.
Mundungus Fletcher is another fucker I keep wondering why Dumbledore keeps entrusting important jobs to. He's notoriously a cowardly, swindling, thieving, slippery bloke. Sure, I know Dumbledore will take anyone into the Order who wants to be but why trust him with important jobs like watching Harry and being one of the duplicate Harry's? Not every misfit is a Hagrid, Albus.
"'DIDDY! Diddy, what's the matter with you?'" Yes, DIDDY, what IS the matter with you?
"'What did he do to you, Diddy?' Aunt Petunia said in a quivering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley's leather jacket. 'Was it - was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use - his thing?'" Ohhhhh Diddy Diddy Diddy Diddy Diddy Diddy diiiiiiiiid he use his thing? Diddy? DID HE? DIDDY???
Also, why is Dudley wearing a leather jacket on the hottest day of the summer? Ik he's supposed to be a gang leader but mayyyyybe switch to a leather vest or something.
"'All dark,' Dudley said horsely, shuddering. 'Everything dark. And then I h-heard... things. Inside m-my head...'" Those are called thoughts, Dudley.
I can't blame Petunia for hating magic when her exposure to it has been 1) a boy dropping a tree branch on her 2) her sister leaving for a special school that she wasn't allowed to go to 3) her sister coming home from said school doing a bunch of magic tricks and getting tons of attention from their parents 4) some skinny, messy haired, unemployed wizard marrying her sister, and 5) her sister getting fucking murdered by some other wizard.
I know Harry's mind is preoccupied but get or tell Petunia to get Dudley some chocolate already.
Poor Harry sending 3 of the same letter to Ron, Hermione, and Sirius, not knowing they're all staying at the same place.
Bit odd that "The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black" would be in a crappy Muggle neighborhood in London. I guess the neighborhood was probably built around Grimmauld Place but, still, Malfoy Manor makes more sense for an ancient, noble family.
I do think if Ron or Hermione had been in Harry's position and Harry had been at Grimmauld Place with the other and that Dumbledore had sworn them to secrecy, he'd have defied Dumbledore to keep his friend informed and I think that's thanks to the James in him.
Hasn't Grimmauld Place ONLY been abandoned for 14 years? The way the place is described makes it sound like it's been abandoned for 60-160 years.
"'He[Percy] said Dad was an idiot to run around with Dumbledore, that Dumbledore was heading for big trouble and Dad was going to go down with him.'" That would be spooky af if JKR had gone through with killing Arthur. Imagine how THAT would destroy Percy.
"'No one's lived here for ten years, not since my dear mother died...'" Only ten years then. Has Kreacher just been inviting dust and spiders and stuff into the house then?
"'Kingsley Shacklebolt's been a real asset too. He's in charge of the hunt for Sirius, so he's been feeding the Ministry information that Sirius is in Tibet.'" Love that.
"'Night,' Harry and Ron said to the twins. 'Sleep tight,' said Fred, winking." Ah, so he thinks Harry and Ron are lovers, of course. Imagine if Rita Skeeter had got her hands on that story.
I mean, when he's not staying at the Dursleys, and that one time he spent a month at The Leaky Cauldron, Harry is ALWAYS sharing a room with Ron. Whether it's at Hogwarts, The Burrow, the tent, or Grimmauld Place, Harry and Ron are always roomies.
"Mrs. Weaseley had laid out his freshly laundered jeans and T-shirt at the foot of his bed." Jeans and T-shirt for a hearing? For a hearing??? 1st of all, such casual clothes for a hearing, 2nd of all, muggle clothes at a wizard hearing. Sure, I guess he needs muggle clothes to blend in in London on his way to The Ministry but surely some trousers and a smart, button up shirt would be better? Surely there must've been SOME smart clothes of Dudley's that were passed down to Harry. Don't mind me, I'm not the fashion police... but I am the fashion judge... as in I will judge fictional fashion choices.
"'Just - just toast, thanks,' said Harry." I just realized whenever Harry is about to do something nerve-wracking, like a big Quidditch game or fight a dragon or attend a hearing that could change his life, he usually just eats toast for breakfast. I wonder if that's bc it's all he normally gets at the Dursleys so it's like his "default" breakfast that sort of grounds him in a way?
"'Don't lose your temper,' said Sirius abruptly. 'Be polite and stick to the facts.'" Either Sirius knows Harry REALLY well or he's thinking it's what James would do OR he's thinking it's what Lily would do.
"'Court Scribe, Percy Ignatius Weaseley.'" At least Fudge gets his name right.
The transition from the whimsical, magical world we're introduced to in the first book to the bureaucracy in this book does give that "growing up" with Harry feeling this series is known for.
"'Yes, Professor Lupin taught me in my third year, because of the-'" I am surprised none of the Ministry officials try to use this, his admittance to having a close relationship with a known werewolf, against him here.
"'Well, one was very large, and the other one rather skinny-'" Mrs. Figg describing Dudley and Harry when asked what the dementors looked like has to be one of my favorite underrated jokes in this series.
Dumbledore forcing Fudge to see that the dementors had to have either worked under the command of someone within the Ministry or that they were acting outside the order of the Ministry was delicious. But trying to get Fudge to admit Harry's Patronus was justified and Fudge having weak arguments is less savory. There's no true battle of wits there.
I wonder if Arthur is outside the courtroom, questioning Mrs. Figg about Muggle living.
"Harry swept the last of the droppings into a rubbish bag and threw the bag over Ron's head into the wastepaper basket in the corner, which swallowed it and belched loudly." A garbage eating garbage can is a magical item I could definitely live with. I mean... as long as there's no "output".
I get why Harry wasn't picked to be Prefect but, like, why Ron? Surely Seamus or Dean could've been.
"'Oh - I dunno-' said Harry, slightly alarmed at being asked his opinion..." Ahh classic abused/neglected child response.
"She[Luna] did not seem to need to blink as much as normal humans." Lol.
Harry's crush walking in on him while he's covered in Stinksap is so hilariously relatable.
"'And that complete cow Pansy Parkinson,' said Hermione viciously." Goddamn, Hermione.
Ha! Hermione trash-talking The Quibbler only for Luna to reveal her father is the editor is way too good.
Man, a lot of Luna's actions in her debut chapter have me thinking she might've had a crush on Ron at this time. She sorta casually mentions she wouldn't have minded going to the Yule Ball with him, she does an over-the-top laugh when he makes a joke, she offers to carry Pigwidgen. I mean maybe Luna's different but that's all stuff I would do if I had a crush on someone.
I gotta say, this book spends a lot more time than the books before it focusing on Harry's inner thoughts and I think that's why it's so much longer.
"'My parents are Muggles, mate,' said Dean, shrugging. 'They don't know nothing about no deaths at Hogwarts, because I'm not stupid enough to tell them.'" Good man, Dean.
Dumbledore ignoring Harry all year is another choice that pisses me off. I can MAYBE forgive his stupid reason if he just started off doing that and then came around/realized he was probably doing more damage than good to Harry by Christmas but the WHOLE school year? Even after the Sorting Hat's warning song and one of the main messages of this book being unification, standing together, not going through it alone? Come on, Albus.
"Before Hermione could answer, a tall black girl with long, braided hair had marched up to Harry." Pretty sure that's the first time Angelina's race has been specified in the books.
It is impressive that Snape can always tell exactly what is wrong with a potion just by looking at it. 14 years a Potion's Master.
I realllllly wish we got to see Fred and George in class with Umbridge. Heck, Luna too.
"'We're not going to use magic?' Ron ejaculated loudly." Hem hem 👀. Yeah, I think you can put the thesaurus away, JKR...
Uhh, good thing McGonagall didn't have a class to teach when Harry gets sent to her ig...
Right, so its very obviously spelled out within the book that Umbridge's presence means that the Ministry is interfering at Hogwarts. So, what Umbridge represents is a state-controlled education. Sorry, a corrupt state-controlled education. We've all heard that the reason Umbridge is so much more hated than Voldemort is because she's a teacher and we've almost all dealt with a horrible teacher but that's not quite it I think. As I've gotten older, I've realized, and it's soooo obvious, that Umbridge ISN'T a teacher. She is a government employee, she has NO business being in a teaching position. What she is, what she represents, is censorship: government-issued censorship at the educational level. And THAT is wayyyyy more terrifying, way more fucked up than anything Voldemort represents.
Oh yeah, 1 September, 1995 was on a Friday so the next day, when they have their first classes would be Saturday.
"We've got a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Umbridge. She's nearly as nice as your[Sirius'] mum." That's a good way to put it.
"'Hey, Johnson, what's with that hairstyle anyway?' shrieked Pansy Parkinson from below. 'Why would anyone want to look like they've got worms coming out of their head?'" Dats racist.
Lol why is Lucius the only one whose age is revealed in the article about Umbridge becoming High Inquisitor? The paper gets a statement from Percy and talks about Umbridge, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Lupin and other people but only Lucius, giving a statement, has his age, 41, given.
"Wizengamot elders, Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of High Inquisitor to Hogwarts." That is never the correct way to protest in that position. You're not quitting from Starbucks because of some unfair rules or wages, you're taking your opposing voice out of the discussion.
"'Oh, I can't wait to see McGonagall inspected,' said Ron happily. 'Umbridge won't know what hit her.'" Ron is so us.
"'Let's say I dreamed I was... drowning Snape in my caudron. Yeah, that'll do.'" Yes, Harry, that won't add to your madness reputation at all...
What are the Defense Against the Dark Arts classes doing while Umbridge is inspecting the other teachers?
"Harry wondered dully whether there were enough chapters in the book to keep them reading through all this year's lesson and was on the point of checking the contents..." I was just wondering the same thing.
Always loved the power move of Hermione reading the whole book when the class is just on chapter 2.
"'I am here to teach you using a Ministry approved method that does not include inviting students to share their opinions on matters about which they understand very little.'" See my previous statement about Umbridge.
"'I wonder,' said Professor McGonagall in cold fury, turning on Professor Umbridge, 'how you expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I am talking.'" I think we all wish we could pull a mic drop like that whenever we pleased.
"...and all three of them had managed to vanish their mice in Transfiguration (Hermione had actually progressed to vanishing kittens)," Where does McGonagall get all these animals?
"'Yeah, but I doubt anyone except you two would want to be taught by me. I'm a nutter, remember?'" Oh, come on, Harry, you could've at least thought of Ginny or even Neville.
Lol the meeting at the Hog's Head would be Dennis Creevey's first ever Hogsmeade weekend.
"'Which one was Michael Corner?' Ron demanded furiously. 'The dark one,' said Hermione. 'I didn't like him,' said Ron at once. 'Big surprise,' said Hermione under her breath." Racist.
"Any student found to have formed, or belong to, an Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club that has not been approved by the High Inquisitor will be expelled." Just form a student Club that includes the entire school. They can't expell us all!
"'Yes,' said Professor Binns, clearly very much wrong-footed. 'Yes... yes, hospital wing... well, off you go, then, Perkins.'" Binns, completely unaware of the plot or story he's in.
"'And as for Potter... my father says it's a matter of time before the Ministry has him carted off to St. Mungo's... apparently they've got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic...'" Forshadowing Lockhart and the Longbottoms.
It's also hilarious to imagine Draco and Lucius gossiping about Harry through letters.
"'You've got a lot to learn, Hermione.'" If there's one thing, just one thing, that Sirius knows more about than Hermione, it's how to break the rules.
"It was warm and comfortable in his armchair before the fire, with the rain still beating heavily on the windowpanes and Crookshanks purring and the crackling of the flames..." And inside the empty common room inside a castle at midnight 🤌.
"'Oh please,' said Zacharias Smith, rolling his eyes and folding his arms. 'I don't think Expelliarmus is exactly going to help us against You-Know-Who, do you?'" You dumb bitch.
"She gave each of the members of the D.A. a fake Galleon (Ron became very excited when he saw the basket at first, convinced that she was actually giving out gold)." Awww, poor Ron. Literally 😂
"During one memorable practice, he[Ron] had hung one-handed from his broom and kicked the Quaffle so hard away from the goal hoop that it soared the length of the pitch and through the center hoop at the other end." Daaaaaaamn, Ron.
Harry is holding George back from attacking Draco. Why why WHY would Draco insult the mother of the one guy holding another guy back from clobbering him? Dumbass Draco.
"'But instead of leaving it to Madam Hooch to sort out, you two decided to give an exhibition of Muggle dueling, did you?'" Is comparing someone to a muggle the wizarding equivalent of saying they're acting like an animal or ape?
"...the door creaked open, and Hagrid's head appeared in the gap. Hermione screamed." Well, tha's fuckin' rude.
"'There are three sets of footprints in the snow leading from the castle doors to your cabin,' said Umbridge sleekly." Yeahhhhh they should've just flown to Hagrid's on Ron's broom.
"'Yes, as gamekeeper fresh air must be so difficult to come by,' said Umbridge sweetly." Hey, he's living in Scotland, maybe he needs some good ol' vitamin D or a change in elevation or some drier or wetter air or something.
Yeah, I don't think Harry should've gotten to date Cho because, as far as we know, Cho is his first ever crush and how accurate is it that you actually get to date your first crush? At least it's accurate enough that they don't stay together.
"'What sort of person cries when someone is kissing them?'" I mean it is pretty rude.
"'Well,' said Harry, an unpleasant heat creeping up his face, 'I sort of - patted her on the back.'" 😅Oh, Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry.
Think Harry might've been speaking parseltongue in his sleep while dreaming he was Nagini attacking Arthur?
Sending Harry and the Weaseleys back to Grimmauld Place in the middle of the night without ANY of their THINGS. Just stuck in the same night clothes until January!
"...and one guttering candle, which illuminated the remains of a solitary supper." It is after midnight, Sirius. Guess I shouldn't be too surprised that he's a night owl.
"'Just stop worrying...'" 🙄 men.
"Their trunks arrived from Hogwarts while they were eating lunch..." How? How??? By owl? Is there a spell for that? The banishing spell, the opposite of Accio? Did their trunks and owls zoom across the sky from Scotland to London? Or is there a sort of Apparating spell for items? They don't say HOW!
"He felt dirty, contaminated, as though he were carrying some deadly germ, unworthy to sit on the underground train back from the hospital with innocent, clean people whose minds and bodies were free from the taint of Voldemort..." Ugh, that was nicely written. Wonder who wrote that 🤔
"He had no alternative. He was going to have to return to Privet Drive, cut himself off from other wizards entirely." After all that worrying about attacking someone while possessed by Voldemort, including his dorm mates, fuck the Dursleys ig lmao.
But seriously, that might be the moment Harry grew up (or maybe one moment of growth). Deciding to go back to the place he hates the most in order to protect the people he cares about.
"He supposed none of them would want him there anymore now that they knew what was inside him..." It IS very teenager of Harry to be so wrapped up in his own issue that he completely forgot about Ginny also getting possessed by Voldemort.
Sirius and Lupin both got Harry a single present. Which means either only one of them got it and put both of their names on it because the other forgot to get a present or because they are married. Okay okay, it's most likely Sirius was unable to get presents so Lupin added Sirius' name to his.
Ron gets Harry candy and he gets Hermione perfume for Christmas... Okay, Ron, I see you 😏
It is neat we get to see what became of Lockhart instead of him just disappearing from the series.
Part 2 is on the way
Books 1 and 2
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Book 3
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 0 · Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets · 💬 0 🔁 1 ❤️ 0 · Chamber of Secrets · "All Harry's spellbooks, his wand, robes
Goblet of Fire
There are 37 chapters in this book and it takes 11 to get to Hogwarts. Not complaining, just decided to keep count for the remaining books. Yes, including Deathly Hallows lol.
"The wealthy man who owned the Riddle House these days neither lived there nor put it to any use; they said in the village that he kept it for 'tax reasons', though nobody was very clear on what those might be." Aha... aha... ahahahaha.... Wow. Back when they actually tried to hide what they were doing eh? Brilliant.
It is impressive that Pettigrew managed to go to Albania, find Voldemort, restore him to his current state, and return to England in the span of less than 2 months.
"He distinctly heard the words 'Ministry of Magic', 'wizards', and 'Muggles.' Plainly, each of these expressions meant something secret, and Frank could think of only two sorts of people who would speak in code - spies and criminals." Blatantly avoiding the word "Nazis" in this children's book.
"'...and for that, you will have your reward, Wormtail. I will allow you to perform an essential task for me, one that many of my followers would give their right hands to perform...'" Well, I think me and Voldemort share a sense of humor.
Incredible that Harry does manage to go 2 whole books without his scar hurting.
"A skinny boy of fourteen looked back at him." This is the first book to totally skip Harry's birthday. Almost feels wrong.
"He was used to bizarre accidents and injuries; they were unavoidable if you attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and had a knack for attracting a lot of trouble." That's it. That's the series, the school, and Harry himself all summed up in a single sentence.
"He amused himself for a moment, picturing Dumbledore, with his long silver beard, full length wizard's robes, and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere, rubbing suntan lotion into his long crooked nose." Once again, WHERE is the fanart?
"They told him[Dudley] they'd have to cut his pocket money if he keeps doing it, so he got really angry and chucked his PlayStation out the window." Ohh wow. First of all, fuck you, Dudley, that's a sin. 2nd, I was most taken off guard by the actual Playstation name drop instead of just a generic video game console. And 3rd, you know Nintendo woulda sued both JKR, the publishers, AND the fictional Dudley.
"If they say yes, send Pig back with your answer pronto, and we'll come and get you at five o'clock on Sunday. If they say no, send Pig back pronto and we'll come and get you at five o'clock on Sunday anyway." I. Love. This. Get a ride or die like Ron.
I love that all the Dursleys actually wait for the Weaseleys in the living room. They easily could just leave for the evening or go hide upstairs or in the kitchen. Like there's no way they aren't forcing Dudley to wait there with how anxious he is.
I've always been disappointed in the film leaving out half the Weaseley family picking up Harry via the Dursley's fireplace.
"'Oh, no, Ron,' came Fred's voice, very sarcastically. 'No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.' 'Yeah, we're having the time of our lives here,' said George, whose voice sounded muffled, as though he was squashed against the wall." Ohhh the sass!
"Uncle Vernon's face worked furiously. The idea of being taught consideration by a man who had just blasted away half his living-room wall seemed to be causing him immense suffering." Mmm yes. I love when "upstanding folk" are taught manners by those they would look down their noses at.
"Charlie was built like the twins, shorter and stockier than Percy and Ron, who were both long and lanky." Huh, that's unexpected, but love that description. Sounds like Charlie and the twins probably take after Molly, body-wise, while Ron and Percy take after Arthur.
"However, Bill was - there was no other word for it - cool. He was tall, with long hair that he had tied back in a ponytail. He was wearing an earring with what looked like a fang dangling from it. His clothes would not have looked out of place at a rock concert, except that Harry recognized his boots to be made, not of leather, but of dragon hide." I cannot BELIEVE teenage me thought Fred was the most desirable Weaseley. Present me would pounce on Bill harder, better, faster, AND stronger than Fenrir Greyback.
"'We didn't give it to him because he was a Muggle!' said Fred indignantly. 'No, we gave it to him because he's a great bullying git,' said George. 'Isn't he, Harry?' 'Yeah, he is, Mr. Weaseley,' said Harry earnestly." Beautiful. That's just beautiful. Also, you KNOW that if Harry was in the same year as the twins, the three of them would be an inseparable, unstoppable force.
"One, with very bushy brown hair and rather large front teeth, was Harry and Ron's friend, Hermione Granger." Damn, Snape's comment later on isn't as savage as the narrator introducing her as Buck-Toothed McGee.
It's also kinda neat that we're introduced to Bill and Fleur separately in the same book.
First mention of the Lovegoods. They did go to the World Cup.
"'I had two try and pay me with great gold coins the size of hubcaps ten minutes ago.'" Damn is that how big Galleons are?
Shoutout to Archie, wearing a flowery nightgown and refusing to put on trousers because he "likes a healthy breeze round his privates".
"Percy hurried forward with his hand outstretched. Apparently his disapproval of the way Ludo Bagman ran his department did not prevent him wanting to make a good impression." Uhhh it's called networking.
Even 11-year-old me knew that as soon as Fred and George made their hyperspecific bet about Ireland winning but Krum getting the snitch, that that's exactly what was going to happen.
Oooh, first introduced to Narcissa Malfoy at the Quidditch Cup.
I'm just remembering Molly is doing all the school shopping while the family is at the World Cup and realizing Diagon Alley must be peaceful af bc most of the wizards of Great Britain are either at the Cup or listening to it on the radio or whatever.
This is the 422nd Quidditch World Cup. Sweet.
Arthur polishes his glasses as soon as he realizes there are Veelas😂.
10 goals in 15 minutes holy shit.
"The leprechauns had risen into the air again, this time, they formed a giant hand, which was making a very rude sign indeed across the pitch towards the Veela." How very Irish.
Ironic that Harry fantasizes about being a Quidditch star but he can't even handle the attention he gets for being... y'know... Harry Freaking Potter.
I love the realistic writing that Ron keeps cussing out Draco but the kid's book that has murder, torture, tons of violence, and everything in between can't SAY any of the actual cusses. Like not even 1 page earlier, the death eaters were turning a woman upside down and exposing her "voluminous drawers" but Ron can't say "fuck off, Malfoy" even once.
"'Granger, they're after Muggles,' said Malfoy. 'D'you want to be showing off your knickers in mid-air? Because if you do, hang around... they're moving this way, and it would give us all a laugh.'" On one hand, sexual harassment; bad Draco. On the other hand, Dramione??? M-maybe if I squint...
I think a bunch of this is going to be me praising Barty Crouch Jr.'s genius little schemes. So, here's the first two. 1. Bewitching Krum in the last task to sabotage the other champions is genius because everyone knows Krum can and does play dirty. We and everyone else see it in the Quidditch game so NO ONE would be suspicious that Krum would suddenly play dirty. 2. Framing Winky for the Dark Mark to get her fired, getting rid of his only, irreplaceable babysitter is ingenius. Now there's no way to hold him back.
"'Do us a favour, Perce,' said Bill, yawning, 'and shut up.'" Oldest brother energy right there.
Oh, to live with the level of optimism and excitement of the Creevey brothers.
"Harry could see Malfoy clapping as Baddock joined the Slytherins. Harry wondered whether Baddock knew that Slytherin house had turned out more dark wizards than any other. Fred and George hissed Malcolm Baddock as he sat down." Jesus Christ, Fred and George, that's HOW you get them to hate you and how you keep the stupid segregation going.
"'But they get paid?' she said. 'They get holidays, don't they? And - and sick leave, and pensions and everything?'" Hermione worrying about House Elves getting things that present day Americans barely get. Do we get paid? Technically, but barely. Do we get vacations? Technically, but barely. Sick leave? Sure, as little as possible. And pensions? Well, that really depends on the employer.
"Professor Trelawney kept predicting Harry's death, which he found extremely annoying." After a year of it, it's gone from fear-inducing to annoying. That's pretty funny and understandable.
"'Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?' said Ron." I mean who didn't see a Weaseley making a Uranus joke?
Lol did Crouch Jr. tell the students to put their textbooks away because that's what Moody would do or because he hasn't had time to read the book?
Harry's first class with Moody is so satisfyingly written.
I only ever heard people talk about Bellatrix torturing Neville's parents but it is in the book that her husband, his brother, AND Barty Crouch Jr. had all tortured the Longbottoms so the scene where Crouch Jr demonstrates the Cruciatus Curse in front of him is even more fucked up.
Harry predicts he'll be in danger for burns so that's obviously the dragon. Ron predicts he'll lose a treasured possession, that sounds like the second task but if it's Ron it could be about losing Hermione to Krum or otherwise something else I can't remember. Harry will get stabbed in the back by someone he thought was a friend, I mean that could be ANYBODY tbh.
"Dear Sirius, I reckon I just imagined my scar hurting, I was half asleep when I wrote to you last time. There's no point coming back, everything's fine here. Don't worry about me, My head feels completely normal." Do you REALLY think Sirius Black, best friend of James Potter, is ever going to believe that rubbish? Come on, Harry.
Wouldn't it be funny if Hedwig was besties with the Malfoy owl while at Hogwarts but we just don't know bc Harry is so obtuse about that sort of thing?
Moody/Crouch Jr. Is 100% right about learning to deal with the curses in the classroom to prepare one for encountering them in the real world. How would you rather have your children's first encounter with something horrible or dangerous? In the safety of a classroom/at home/through a work of fiction or in the real world? Makes me wish things like self-defense classes and (forgive me for sounding so American) gun safety were a requirement in real schools.
"The delegations from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving at 6 o'clock on Friday 30th of October." 30th of October, 1994 was a Sunday.
"'She's a Veela!' Ron said horsely to Harry. 'Of course she isn't!' said Hermione tartly." I love that Ron immediately recognizes Fleur for what she is and Hermione is completely wrong. Between this and Lockhart, that's 2 for Ron.
"'They don't make them like that at Hogwarts!'" That's because British girls.
"'Maybe someone's hoping Potter is going to die for it,' said Moody, with merely trace of a growl." Ingenious Crouch Jr. Practically giving himself away but managing to do it by sounding like the paranoid Mad-Eye Moody.
"'Wish I knew who did do it,' said Harry bitterly." Oh, Harry, you know by now you always get all your questions answered at the end of your school year.
Draco tries to cast the teeth-elongating hex on Harry but that already feels like such a Hermione specific spell. Like, I actually can't imagine Draco trying to cast that on Harry but I can picture him casting it on Hermione or even Ron.
The only magically enforced rule for the tournament is that your name comes out of the goblet, you MUST compete, right? A rule that is not enforced by magic is that the champions can't receive help from teachers or peers for the tasks and that rule is broken throughout the tournament in roundabout ways. So, couldn't there be a small exception for Harry since he's at the disadvantage of being younger? Obviously the other schoolmasters wouldn't like that and Crouch Sr. Is too much of a stickler for rules to just let that slide but I'm sure there could be a way. Ik Ron and Hermione and others help him prepare but I'm talking openly and officially.
"'He's not even good looking!' she muttered angrily, glaring at Krum's sharp profile. 'They only like him because he's famous!'" As we know from Hermione's crush on Lockhart, you must be famous AND good looking to catch her eye.
"Sirius' face had been gaunt and sunken, surrounded by a quantity of long, black, matted hair - but the hair was short and clean now..." NOOOOOO!
"...said Harry, throwing aside Men Who Love Dragons Too Much." There is NO such thing.
"Cedric was at the top. He was with a load of sixth-year friends." He IS a 6th year. For some reason I thought the book was going to gaslight us from the last book and suddenly make him 7th year. Like when I read he was a 5th year in the last book, I thought I had remembered the books gaslighting us or something. Idk never mind me.
"And it clicked. He was best at flying. He needed to pass the dragon in the air. For that, he needed his Firebolt. And for his Firebolt, he needed- 'Hermione,'" Hermione! Fetch me my Firebolt!
Even Bagman tries to offer some advice but Harry just doesn't take it. I know he has a plan already but, come on, it couldn't hurt.
Harry pretending the first task is just another Quidditch game. Ohhh I love it!
"'Last year Dementors, this year dragons, what are they going to bring into this school next?'" Umbridge. Also shoutout to Madam Pomfrey for being the only sane and normal adult in this entire fucking universe.
"Just then, Neville caused a slight diversion by turning into a large canary." Slight diversion indeed. Also, damn, Fred and George, what was in that cream tart? Why didn't they ever feed something like THAT to Umbridge or Filch?
"Harry was glad of its fires and thick walls every time he passed the Durmstrang ship on the lake, which was pitching in the high winds, its black sails billowing against the dark skies." Now, I am no expert on ships, but I did grow up on a Great saltless sea, and I am pretty sure that the sails are supposed to be furled while the ship is not sailing.
According to McGonagall, Trelawney likes to predict the death of a student every year. I wonder if she ever made a prediction for Cedric's death. Or Fred's. Or anyone else who dies in the Battle of Hogwarts.
I do like that we get to see how the kitchens work. How the food that always appears on their plates doesn't come from NOWHERE.
"And it was amazing how many girls Hogwarts suddenly seemed to hold; he had never quite noticed that before." So it isn't just Hermione that Harry and Ron didn't notice was a girl, Harry didn't take notice of girls at all. If it weren't for his mentions of Cho a few times before this point, I would absolutely conclude he isn't attracted to them at all. That or he's so equal rights that he just doesn't see sex.
I find it really hard to believe that Ginny knows Hermione is going to the Ball with the famous Viktor Krum but isn't even struggling not to tell anybody.
Asking Parvati and Lavender to the Ball is "drastic action." Oof.
Things like Ron being the only one to notice Hermione's teeth are different are why I do think Ronmione actually is a good ship. I think they work less if you look at their characters on the surface and that's why even JKR changed her mind about them later but their relationship really is in the little details.
I also think it's bold of Hermione to make fun of Fleur's vanity right before the reveal that she herself made a cosmetic alteration to her body.
"Crabbe and Goyle were both wearing green; they resembled moss-coloured boulders, and neither of them, Harry was pleased to see, had managed to find a partner." Uhh they're OBVIOUSLY with each other!
It's kind of sweet that Percy wanted to brag about his promotion to Harry straight away. I have noticed throughout this reading that he does have a bit of a soft spot for Harry. Like Harry isn't just his kid brother's best friend but he actually talks with Harry about the things that are important to him(Percy) and Harry actually takes interest instead of dismissing or making fun of him like his siblings do.
Imagine eating a feast and then immediately getting up and dancing. Ow, my stomach.
It's also bold of Hermione to tell Ron that the point of the tournament is to get closer to foreign wizards when she's only made fun of Fleur behind her back since she arrived.
"It featured a blonde mermaid, who was fast asleep on a rock, her long hair fluttering over her face every time she snored." Snoring mermaid is hilarious and adorable. Mostly adorable.
It's very convenient to the mystery of the plot that the Maurauder's Map doesn't include things like "Junior" in people's names.
Oh the beautiful plot plotting of Snape about to grab the map where he would have seen Harry AND the name Bartemius Crouch where Moody was standing but Harry saved both of them by signaling to Moody who then Accios the map so that nobody can catch him on it now.
I find it really hard to believe that the trio are spending their lunchtimes, evenings, and weekends searching for a charm that will let Harry breathe underwater, and even visit the restricted section AND ask Madam Pince for help, but they don't once come across the Bubble head Charm that is supposedly a standard spell taught to the older students. Heck I'm sure even Fred and George could've whipped up a candy that turns him into an otter or dolphin or something.
Second ballsiest thing Harry ever did, after asking the Minister to sign a school form, is ask a merman to borrow his spear to cut Ron's rope.
Why doesn't Harry sing "Just Keep Swimming" while he's trying to swim back to the surface? Oh yeah, Finding Nemo hasn't come out yet.
It is very sweet that the thing Krum would miss the most is a girl he went on 1 single date with. I would not pass up a man like that.
"One of the best things about the aftermath of the second task was that everybody was very keen to hear the details about what happened down in the lake." Yeah, because there was nothing for the spectators to see for A FULL HOUR. All but 8 people just sat on their butts in freezing ass February and stared at some water and then watched 8 people pop up and swim back to shore.
At least gotta admire Hermione for not taking Rita Skeeter's article about her badly. Just finds it hilarious and pathetic.
I mean even without the rumors started by Rita Skeeter, can you really blame Krum for questioning Harry about his relationship with Hermione? She talks so much about Harry with Krum and she was straight up ignoring Krum to talk to Harry and celebrate Harry after the 2nd task. If WE, the readers, didn't know they were really just friends and we were actual side characters in the story, you'd probably assume there was something more than friendship there too.
Yeah the only time I really ever got frustrated with Snape was when he kept Harry from going to get Dumbledore after Harry finds Mr. Crouch.
Damn, Hagrid just straight up xenophobic.
"It was a beautiful thing; each of the moons glimmered in place around the nine planets and the fiery sun..." So the wizarding world considers Pluto a planet. Interesting.
"'Ah, I was forgetting... you don't like Dementors, do you, Albus?' said Moody with a sardonic smile. 'No,' said Dumbledore calmly, 'I'm afraid I don't. I have long felt the Ministry is wrong to ally itself with such creatures.'" Would you prefer they be on the loose? No laws, no rules, nothing keeping them from attacking whoever they want whenever they feel like it?
As pro Snape as I am, and I am VERY pro Snape, he should still serve SOME time for associating with the Death Eaters. Should a Nazi be completely pardoned just because he turned spy in the last 18 months of the war?
"True to his word to Dumbledore, he had not told Ron and Hermione about Neville's parents." Has to be the first thing, and one of very few things, Harry doesn't tell Ron and Hermione about.
"Harry felt a rush of anger and hate towards the people who had tortured Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom." Harry has a strong sense of justice, as we know. It's always refreshing to see him feeling that way about someone he doesn't usually, like the trio, his parents, and the Weaseleys.
McGonagall telling Harry the champions are meeting with their families and Molly and Bill showing up for Harry has me kicking my feet. Freaking adorable.
Also, this means all 3 of the oldest Weaseley boys get to watch one of the tasks. Charlie watches the dragons, Percy watches the 2nd task, and now Bill gets to watch the final task.
"Fleur Delecour, Harry noticed, was eyeing Bill with great interest over her mother's shoulder." The first meeting of Bill and Fleur!!!
"Harry could tell she had no objection whatsoever to long hair or earrings with fangs in them." Of course not. Fleur is a woman of culture and fine taste, she KNOWS what's good.
Love that Harry thanks the sphinx as he passes her. He's so polite.
Man, what would've happened if Cedric got the cup by himself? Or if Viktor grabbed it with Harry instead? Imagine the international uproar at the famous Viktor Krum turning up dead under mysterious circumstances during the tournament.
Seriously tho, why couldn't Crouch Jr. just have turned some other item Harry was going to touch into a Portkey? Why did the plan have to take 10 months to complete? Like just send him a random Christmas present that's been turned into a Portkey and will activate when touched.
"...the pain in his scar reached such a pitch that he retched, and then it diminished." Owie.
"Whiter than a skull, with wide, livid scarlet eyes, and a nose that was as flat as a snakes, with slits for nostrils..." His nose IS described as flat.
"...he forced the sleeve of Wormtail's robes up past his elbow, and Harry saw something upon the skin there, something like a vivid red tattoo." The dark marks are red?
Can Crouch Jr feel the dark mark activating while in Moody's body?
"'- it is an old piece of Dark Magic, the potion that revived me tonight - I would need three powerful ingredients. Well, one of them was already at hand, was it not, Wormtail?'" The Dark Lord? More like The Lord of Dark Dad Jokes.
"'Dumbledore invoked an ancient magic, to ensure the boy's protection as long as he is in his relation's care.'" Oh... OH! I thought... I thought the magic that was protecting Harry at the Dursleys was just kind of THERE from Lily's sacrifice or whatever but if Dumbledore is the one who deliberately put the magic on Harry/the Dursleys then that is an EXTRA "fuck you!" To Dumbledore.
But how exactly does Voldemort know Dumbledore did that? Like I'm pretty sure it's not the sort of thing Dumbledore would be talking about much so it's not like Wormtail could've eavesdropped and heard about it as Scabbers.
"'We bow to each other, Harry,' said Voldemort, bending a little, but keeping his snake-like face upturned to Harry. 'Come, the niceties must be observed... Dumbledore would like you to show manners... bow to death, Harry.'" I love love LOVE that Voldemort very ironically does and makes Harry do the 'proper' dueling etiquette because it shows just how absurd they are in a real fight. What is taught in school is so rarely how things work in the real world and you know real schools wouldn't allow teachers like Moody, who teach it like it really is, in the classroom. Especially in today's world. I could get into what Umbridge represents along this topic but I reckon I'll save that for the next book.
"Voldemort was ready. As Harry shouted 'Expelliarmus!', Voldemort cried, 'Avada Kedavra!'" Lol what if Avada Kedavra is just what Voldemort reflexively yells when he gets jump-scared? 🤣
"'I staged a loud conversation with Professor McGonagall about the hostages who had been taken, and whether Potter would think to use Gillyweed.'" THAT should've raised suspicion in McGonagall on why Moody would talk about Harry using Gillyweed, such a niche object, and then Harry actually turning up to the task and inexplicably using Gillyweed. I mean its clear Gillyweed isn't that common in Britain if even Hermione didn't know or think of it and they didn't find it in the library so why would McGonagall think Harry might use it? Like, from McGonagall's perspective, what are the chances of Moody talking to her about Harry using Gillyweed right before the tournament AND Harry actually using it? It can't be that likely.
"'The real Moody would not have removed you from my sight after what happened tonight. The moment he took you, I knew - and I followed.'" I just... I know it's a work of fiction, and a kid's book no less, and the plot gotta do what it's gotta do, but I just CANNOT believe that Crouch Jr did not do ANYTHING suspicious throughout the entire 10 months of living as Moody or that the one time that he does is the most critical moment for Dumbledore to say "waaaaaait a minute." As an experienced writer, I think this was just JK painting the story into a corner.
"'Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.'" FACTS.
Ohh, you know you need to take shit seriously when Snape is rolling up his sleeve and explaining, out in the open, all about his Dark Mark to you. THAT has to be one of Snape's braver moments, especially so far.
"'Mum, shut up!' Ron yelled." WOW.
As much as I love Harry's tournament winnings going to Fred and George to fund WWW, the Diggory's getting it would've made more sense but they just kinda say "no you keep it."
The book does handle Harry's trauma really well. From Dumbledore getting him to tell him everything to not letting anyone else make him relive the experience to putting him to sleep and keeping Ron, Hermione, Sirius, and Molly at his side.
"'You all righ'?' he said gruffly. 'Yeah,' said Harry. 'No, yeh're not,' said Hagrid. ''Course yeh're not. But yeh will be.'" That exchange was perfect. 11/10. Perfectly sums up hardship and pain. You're not all right but you will be.
"Horseless carriages" so ig it must take a bit after seeing death to see the Thestrals? Maybe you have to process the death first or something.
Too bad Hermione doesn't just keep Beetle Skeeter lol.
Next is the longest book in the series.