At the Helm of my own Destiny

Just a pirate away from the sea

[the-determined-sea-captain]

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[the-determined-sea-captain]

Had the smart clothes on today...

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[the-determined-sea-captain]

Just started an account, here for all the Dad bod fans, all the subs and in between.

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[the-determined-sea-captain]

[wonderswoman]

Gal Gadot + THE THING she does with short women 

[kateordie]

HI?????

[suavecitapomade]

[femkitti]

This is literally the cutest damn thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing with my own two eyes

[sydsliftingface]

wlw getting all extra’d out in lingerie just to do cutesie swingdances is the mood for 20gayteen

[richkidsandfakefriends-deactiva]

[firesigh-deactivated20181118]

this is the only context i’ll allow country music bc this video is possibly the gayest and most romantic one i’ve seen in my eighteen years on this earth

[the-determined-sea-captain]

Not like anyone cares but I'm gonna write my shit out now.

This last year has beat me down beyond belief. Almost lost my home twice. My fiancé left me. I feel so completely and utterly alone. If it wasn't for my dog I would offed myself a month ago.

The only thing keeping me going is my guty of care to him. I just wish someone would message me first these days

[the-determined-sea-captain]

My fiancé left me and I don't even know what to do

[the-determined-sea-captain]

So a little background. My Hypermobility Syndrome (HMS) causes pain in my knees and back. I also live with my fiancee on a yacht. Most days the pain is fairly manageable and I use it as an excuse to do stuff and get out there, hence on a small sailing yacht.

Anyway, recently we took my parents and sister across to some Islands for a holiday as we all wanted to have a look.

My mum is also disabled. My dad and sister are fine. Throughout the holiday mum wanted to see sights on land and history, I too love history, my fiancee isn't as fussed. Dad and sister don't care for it either.

So mum wants to see an ancient village, I find out how to get there. We all set out to go. Fiancee isn't feeling too great. My dad and sister bail. Fiancee comes with just to make sure that we don't bail and we have support. I'm providing physical support for my mum worsening myself.

Rinse and repeat and add on a rough sail back to the mainland where we had to bail part way through into a marina due to weather conditions worsening before expected.

I had an episode where I was in and out of consciousness, shaking and crying in pain on a park bench... I now can't even walk 4 steps without having to sit down and rest.

Now everyone keeps on saying I shouldn't have pushed myself so far, that I should have paced myself and got more rest. Well I wouldn't have had to if more people had stepped up to the plate and being supportive!

Now I can't do a fucking thing. My head constantly feels like it's floating and I can never get comfortable. Barely sleeping and I'm stuck in bed. (had to travel up country to parents house for medical appointment, and currently staying there.) I feel very isolated. I miss my fiancee who is staying with her sister (sister has just given birth to a lovely girl who has brought their side of the family together like never before). Finally my emotions are all over the place because I feel so fucking useless, like a massive burden and the pain is never fucking ending!

Sorry for this rant, not really expecting anything from it, but not really being able to talk to anyone about it I needed to get it off my chest.

[the-determined-sea-captain]

I don't post much anymore, but today I proposed to the love of my life, she said yes.

3 years ago, I tried to end it all with an overdose.

2 years ago, I bought a boat and the following winter tried to end it all again.

1 year ago I meet her. The most amazing woman in my life. Everything is so vibrant and colourful when she is around.

I'm not saying that you need another person to fix you. The only one who can fix you is yourself. I was fixed 1 and a half years ago when I started to get things in order. However I'm now grateful that I'm alive. If I could go back in time to my younger self I would have slapped him for giving up when this was just round the corner, then told him to be brave. Face the fears and prepare. Get your life sorted so you're not having to wade through the crap with your partner, but can enjoy your time with them.

Remember, if you die then there's nothing, you stay alive... Well the world is full of opportunities, you keep trying, you might just get where you're going.

[the-determined-sea-captain]

Just wanted to talk about this woman... Suffering from Hypermobility Syndrome has always been tough on me. We've had to leave the boat as the Hypermobility Syndrome got worse and worse and I'm now in a wheelchair. This woman though, she has stood by my side. Been my rock and support. Even though I'm in a wheelchair and can't move much she's still helping me and thinking of ways to help lessen my pain. Taking me outside to stop me feeling trapped and pushing me around. She's amazing. My depression always gets worse when I'm stuck in the wheelchair, but she's making life so much better. #hypermobility #hypermobilitysyndrome #depression #sailing #sailinguk #sailingresfeber #wheelchair #winterblues #chronicillness #chronicpain #chronicpainawareness https://www.instagram.com/p/BpcD9ZHnmvT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=yp5mb8iwyg6u

[the-determined-sea-captain]

Travel Journal: Looking To The Future

Travel Journal: Looking To The Future

After getting Jinka ready for the winter season and packing up all our stuff we then took the 13 hour ferry from Guernsey to Portsmouth getting us to Portsmouth at 6:30am, then a plane from South Hampton to Manchester where my parents picked us up and we retreated to Huddersfield for rest. After this well… we slept in for a couple of days to recover from the travel and all nighter we had just…

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[the-determined-sea-captain]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t_w4Z1ryts)

[the-determined-sea-captain]

Travel Journal: Hiding From The Storm

Travel Journal: Hiding From The Storm

***We would like to start by apologising about the lateness of these posts! We’ve been struggling to get good internet access to allow us to upload these posts whilst being in Guernsey. To keep the posts at readable lengths we’re going to pick up where we left off and continue to post weekly. ***

Last time we updated you we were in Sark. Sark, whilst lovely, had us fairly limited and we needed to…

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[the-determined-sea-captain]

When she steals your coat because you're a human heater and she's like Elsa from Frozen 😂😂😂 #girlfriend #beaucette #sailing #guernsey #sunset #eveningwalks #coastal #cliffs #model #igportraits #instamodel #romance (at Guernsey, Channel Islands) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoUnb61lmPm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=110lt7c3dgb7p

[the-determined-sea-captain]

Travel Journal: Falmouth to Plymouth

Travel Journal: Falmouth to Plymouth

LEAVING FALMOUTH

  Last week we set sail from Falmouth. We were planning to set off on the Tuesday night after a salsa class and sail to Portscatho, however we found ourselves exhausted after dancing all evening. So, we changed our plans and left the next morning. We skipped Portscatho as the weather wasn’t nice and we were hoping to sail somewhere more sheltered for our overnight stop, and so…

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