collection of words/things that I like

[500-moths-in-a-trenchcoat]

instead of an angel and a devil on my shoulder i have tom servo and crow t robot and both of them are making snide remarks about my problems

[winged-void]

little miss normal didn't hear what the group was talking about because she hasn't stopped reminiscing internally about how good it felt when she successfully managed to say her joke at the right time to make everyone laugh 30 minutes ago

[mollyjames]

It's never too late to escape from the secret underground government facility you were raised and go on a telekinetic rampage across the city before mysteriously disappearing into the woods

[mikeandwillsweddingofficiant]

unfortunately ive been talked over and ignored my whole life so if you let me talk/rant to you for more than five minutes at a time i will get an unhealthy emotional attachment

[penthesileas]

I realized that I actually do watch a fair amount of movies. Unfortunately for me, said films are absolute trash being riffed by people from the upper Midwest.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[lewisian]

Step-Cat

We are also both ruled by cats. Joy's Siamese - my 'step-cat' as I call her - is the most terribly conversational animal I ever knew. She talks all the time and wants doors and windows to be opened for her 1000 times an hour... [she] adores me because I lift her up by her tail - an operation which I can't imagine I should like if I were a cat, but she comes back for more and more, purring all the time.

-C.S. Lewis

[skeletomez]

when you finish a chapter and realize that one character is just your own personality inserted into dialogue so now you have to start over

[greelin]

sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling all that great lately. Do you want me to hunt you for sport

[greelin]

no worries if not. will be thinking of you regardless

[boxheadpaint]

And like who the fuck is this guy [gestures to reflection in mirror alone in bathroom

[wifegideonnav]

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[thestuffedalligator]

There’s a certain folkloric idea that if you die at sea, your soul is sort of. Inextricably stuck in the sea. Because your body is irretrievable, your soul is also irretrievable, down out of the reach of the gods who look at the surface of the world. In Norse mythology, they said that the souls of sailors who died at sea are caught in the sea-goddess Rán’s net and dragged into her domain, a distinct and separate afterlife alongside Hel and Valhalla. Davy Jones Locker. The funayūrei. A lot of cultures agree that once the sea has a hold on you, even when your body has rotted and dwindled and been made food for crabs, it still won’t let you go.

Do you think we’re going to wind up saying the same thing about astronauts.

[cpericardium]

You can sing OR you can play basketball. You can't do both. Never think that

[pumpkinsplicelatte]

When you were homeschooled and you don't know if an interaction is Normal(tm) or Not Normal(tm)

[ferocioustrout]

grown woman who is addicted to a coolmathgame

[leaky-port-nacelle]

Star Trek: Enterprise writers: and you're sure? You've checked everything?

Some poor intern or something, eye bags darker than the dried coffee stains on their shirt: Confirmed. There's no mention of it in any existing Star Trek franchise. Across 25 total seasons of 5 shows, and 10 movies, over the last 40 years, there is absolutely zero conclusive evidence that Florida survives to see the founding of the Federation

ENT writers: excellent. Fkin send it.