The apology : â@MaraWritesStuff if this is your way of coming out then i apologise and if not i stand by what i saidâ
Whoever that person is, what they did was wrong. Even with the apology itâs wrong. Mara Wilson was forced to come out to prove she could be allowed to speak about a homophobic terrorist attack that she was upset about, and she was legitimate to talk about it and to be upset about it even if she had been straight.
You see the thing with âalliesâ is that a lot of closeted people will call themselves ally rather than come out. Being agressive to allies of the LGBTQIA community, whatâs the point really? Being gay is not like being a POC, or being visibly disabled, itâs something you can conceal and many people will take the decision to do so for their own safety or simply because they want to come out on their own term.
Also this behavior comes from assuming any LGBTQIA ally has to be just a straight person, and never a closeted queer person, and I canât believe I have to say that because itâs obvious but *this is heteronormativity*. Assuming someone has to be straight before even thinking they might be queer is a shining example of heteronormativity.
And as someone who has yet to come out and who would like to come out on their own term, and who would say to LGBTQIA communities that Iâm just an ally outside of this blog, Iâm incredibly upset about that story. Iâm afraid I might be forced to come out just to give legitimacy to my feelings and thatâs just not right. I would like to decide when I will be strong enough to come out.
Please do not ever force people to come out.
Do not ever question alliesâ right to express their feelings on the subject because you donât know -you canât know- which one of them are closeted.
Also people are not speaking over you when they are expressing their feeling on their own page. They are speaking over the community when:
- they derail the conversation inside the community to speak about their feelings or about how they are totally not homophobic, or
-when alliesâ opinions are overall more popular and more shared than queer people, in which case, 1. Itâs not their fault so donât accuse them to speak over the community 2. Just shut up, donât retweet it and for every angry message youâd like to post *retweet the opinion of a queer person instead*.
-when they are speaking over the community by expressing what members of the community should feel or do to be acceptable to them, or disregarding/appropriating the communityâs culture, which is absolutely not the case here.
Look I get that allyship has to be uncomfortable because of all the internalized homophobia, transphobia, racism and misogyny, because it takes time, humility and hard work to not be prejudiced, and because it also takes the ability to sometimes shut up to highlight the opinion of members of the community instead. But donât express hate and agressivity toward people who are trying to help, who are being sincere and who are expressing their sadness and compassion, because those feelings are precious and shouldnât be looked upon, because empathy is beautiful and because we canât burn all the bridges people are building between our social groups when they are sincere and trying their best.
We are stronger together, as human beings, with our feelings and with people trying to help so please donât build more borders than there already is, itâs not helping.
izzy806
andulkaphoto
amandla
titsay
stormborns
blakekathryn
ellievsbear
