Iām observing that the divide between the partnered people and the unhappily single people is getting wider and wider and causing friction.Ā every time Iāve mentioned this, inevitably the partnered people have one of two responses:
say they completely understand, then start to talk about how trying to find secondary/tertiary partners is hard now because no one wants to date anyone whoās partnered
shit on the single people by saying that relationships are hard and that everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side and that they shouldnāt scapegoat relationships when what they really want is better human connection
and likeā¦ GUYS.Ā does no one understand that this single vs partnered phrasing is actually a shorthand to reference the way american society is designed for couples, the way people act differently when they are part of a couple, how partnership isnāt the same as having sexual partner(s), etc?
Iām this*close to writing an opinion piece and submitting it to medium or refinery29 or something.Ā it will be the same as every other āwhat your single friends want you to know, as we head into our (first) covid winterā thinkpiece, except it will actually be good, clear, and well-reasoned.
anyone want to tell me how one goes about submitting a piece to an online publication? LOL
Ugh, yes, do this! I'm getting SO TIRED of the lack of compassion, or even regard, for those of us who are single. My city leadership just put out a notice discouraging people from inviting ANYONE over to their homes for small gatherings, saying that's spreading covid more than the people who are dining in bars and restaurants. 1. It doesn't make any sense to me that one would spread disease while another doesn't, and 2. I CANNOT again go 3 months without seeing someone face to face. I almost lost my goddamn mind, the loneliness was like a literal weight on my chest. And I am MUCH more fragile now than I was then - seeing a friend or two every week or two (calculated risk on both sides) is one of the few things that's keeping me going. So fuck your "relationships are hard work" bullshit - that is a task I would willingly and unwaveringly take on right now rather than be stuck in an endless limbo of being exactly zero percent closer to finding the partner I want while my biological clock is ticking loudly in the background (or at this point, the foreground). And every time I see people suggesting that this could last 2 MORE years, my soul dies a little more inside.
Coupled privilege has always been real, it just hurts now more than ever.
/end rant
