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Specify which muse for multimuse blogs.
RMH
NASA

roma★
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
No title available
Keni
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
Claire Keane

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Noah Kahan
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Game of Thrones Daily
No title available
EXPECTATIONS

No title available
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
art blog(derogatory)

JVL
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
seen from Iraq
seen from United States

seen from Netherlands

seen from Croatia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Australia
seen from Australia

seen from Türkiye

seen from Malaysia

seen from Australia

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Denmark
@the-masxuerade
Reblog if you want lore and or muse-related questions in your inbox!
Specify which muse for multimuse blogs.
🐝 * ― 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒. ( random assortment of sentences that can but don’t have to be used for muses meeting each other for the first time. feel free to adjust to better fit your muses. )
❛ i know we only just met but i already feel like i’ve known you my whole life. ❜ ❛ umm, is this seat taken ? ❜ ❛ don’t be alarmed now but there’s someone following you. pretend you know me and come with me. i’ll get you somewhere safe. ❜ ❛ my friends ditched me here and now i could really use a ride home. ❜ ❛ i don’t think we’ve met yet but you looked like you needed someone to talk to. ❜ ❛ can you please pretend to be my boyfriend / girlfriend for a moment so my ex will leave me alone ? ❜ ❛ are you always this straightforward with strangers ? ❜ ❛ here, i noticed you lost this earlier. ❜ ❛ i’m sorry, i must’ve mistaken you for somebody else. ❜ ❛ so, what brings you here today ? ❜ ❛ hi, my name is [name]. it’s nice meeting you. ❜ ❛ you’re cute. how about i buy you a drink ? ❜ ❛ can’t you watch where you are going ?! ❜ ❛ i just moved into the apartment next to you, so i guess we’re gonna be neighbors now. ❜ ❛ oh god, you’re [name], aren’t you ? ❜ ❛ here, let me help you. ❜ ❛ is there a reasons you’re here on your own ? ❜ ❛ apparently we’re going to be working on this together now. ❜ ❛ you look like you could use a hand with that. ❜ ❛ what do people around here do to have some fun ? ❜ ❛ looks like this will take a while, huh ? ❜ ❛ oh god. please tell me you haven’t just heard me talk to myself. ❜ ❛ excuse me, i think i’m lost. ❜ ❛ i just wanted to say that i really like your outfit. ❜ ❛ do you come here often ? ❜ ❛ do you mind if i join you for a bit ? ❜ ❛ you looked lonely so i got you a drink. ❜ ❛ i don’t think we’ve met, i’m [name]. ❜ ❛ what the hell just happened there ? ❜ ❛ have you seen this anywhere ? i must’ve lost it. ❜ ❛ can i please use your phone ? i have to call someone to get me out of here. ❜ ❛ seems like we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together. ❜ ❛ come with me, and don’t ask any questions. it’s urgent. ❜ ❛ i heard strange noises coming from your apartment and just wanted to make sure everything is alright. ❜ ❛ i have a spare ticket, you wanna come in with me ? ❜ ❛ you don’t know me but will you be my date for tonight ? ❜ ❛ we’ve got some time to kill so why don’t you tell me a little about yourself ? ❜ ❛ i don’t usually just walk up to strangers but my friends set me up to it. ❜ ❛ i think our orders may have gotten mixed up. ❜ ❛ do i have something on my face or why do you keep looking at me like that ? ❜
Send 👀 + a name and my muse will admit if they find them attractive or not and why
- @fckurselfie continued -
"Oh, I'll meet with your sister next, but I'll need to get my foot in the door first." The Nos replied, stepping closer to Jeanette "Besides, you're more willing to get down and dirty, which makes you more fun in my book." By all appearances, this masked individual was as sketchy as he was creepy. Then again, he was clan Nosferatu, so that was par for the course. Still, every kindred worth their fangs knows the worth of making friends in low places, and the sewer IS below ground, technically speaking.
"Let's start with introductions, shall we? I'm Z, the 'Masked Merchant', as the streets call me. And you? You are Jeanette Voerman, Former Anarch Baron and half of the renowned Voerman Sisters. The better half, in terms of personality. So, here's a Q for you to A: Have you ever thought about taking your throne back?"
LOVE THE PROPHET, because he loves the sinner. love the sinner, BECAUSE HE IS YOU. without the sinner, what need is there for a redeemer? without sin, what grace has forgiveness? / #FCKURSELFIE -> video game - centric multimuse ft. characters from bioware, vampire: the masquerade, larian, fallout, hoyoverse, wuthering waves, fire emblem, farm sims, otome & more. / written by unicorn.
OPEN.
" do you often go by the name Tom? Cause you're one fine tomcat and I'm like a dog , barking you up a tree , baby. " she's standing a little too close for starters.
Jack looked at her for a moment, not new to flirtation but certainly new to that. “Barking up the wrong tree, Doll.” He finally replied “I ain’t looking.”
cyberpunk 2077 starters
more to be added !
❝ the wider the smile, the bigger the lie. ❞ ❝ it’s called a reputation. you should try having one. ❞ ❝ there are no clean hands. but it is important how they became dirty. ❞ ❝ if only you were the one calling the shots, you would already have the city at your feet. ❞ ❝ seems like you’ve got a real problem with authority. ❞ ❝ it’s so obvious now that all this ‘ambition’ you went on about was really just you wanting power. ❞ ❝ i knew this day would come. that sooner or later your impudence would cross the line. ❞ ❝ well, then it’s a good thing i’m on your side then, huh? ❞ ❝ you’re starting to remind me of me. ❞ ❝ you drop to your knees before gods. i drop them, pop ‘em rigght between the eyes. ❞ ❝ only people who know me real well can use my real name. ❞ ❝ hope that’s it for last requests. not sure i can handle more. ❞ ❝ look at me - see this? this is a look of un-fucking-surprise on my face. ❞ ❝ actually, i don’t think of you at all. ever. ❞ ❝ wanna part ways on good terms. as friends. ❞ ❝ listen, i know i fucked up a lot of things. either let down or used every last person who gave me their trust. ❞ ❝ been a rough year…and to make things worse, i fell in love. ❞ ❝ funny how you still manage to surprise me sometimes. ❞ ❝ haven’t managed to get my head straight yet, not after everything that happened. ❞ ❝ hey, look at me. right in the eyes. choose your next words carefully. might be the last choice you ever make. ❞ ❝ don’t you dare faint again. keep your eyes open. ❞ ❝ i’m a master of cuddling, too - got a black belt, multiple disciplines. ❞ ❝ tsh…gonna miss you something awful. ❞ ❝ sooner or later, love’ll only let you down. ❞ ❝ here come the test results: you are a horrible person. ❞ ❝ there is a saying in your country… one moment, it will come to me…ah now i remember! go fuck yourself. ❞ ❝ wanna see me give up? sounds like something you’d do. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry, do you hear me poking around your personal business? digging through your past? ❞ ❝ what you did for me, i’ll never forget it. ❞ ❝ it’s hard to believe, but it looks like everything’s gonna be alright. ❞ ❝ you ain’t dying yet. i got you. ❞ ❝ see ya in the next life, friend. ❞ ❝ i allowed my temper to flare and for that i apologize. even i can get carried away at times. ❞ ❝ shame. was starting to like you… ❞ ❝ i’m just glad your mother didn’t live to see this. the heart should break but once. ❞ ❝ there are not many like you, but without you the world would have long turned into shadows and dust. ❞ ❝ i’d say it’s great to see you but i’ve never been one to lie. ❞ ❝ you put a barrel to my skull not so long ago. ❞ ❝ there’s a difference between being an idiot and believing people wanna do good. ❞ ❝ you plot, you plan, you calculate, and weave webs so tangled you sometimes lose yourself in them. ❞ ❝ i’m a serious man. and serious matters are what, if not all, that concern me. ❞ ❝ you’re tough as nails. a warrior without mercy. ❞ ❝ i’ve managed one thing for now. not to fuck this up… what we have. ❞ ❝ you got a short fuse, sure, but there ain’t no dynamite in that soul. ❞ ❝ really think i can make it? survive this? ❞ ❝ if there’s nothing you can do to help me, then…what the hell do i do? ❞ ❝ i’ll kill anyone who gets in my way. you included. ❞ ❝ if they find us, they won’t bother with arresting and interrogating, do you understand? ❞ ❝ everyone admires you, but you know that your only reward will be the next task you’re given. ❞ ❝ just don’t fall in love with me. ❞ ❝ look, our history, i know. but we don’t really have time for…feelings. ❞ ❝ promise you’ll try to get some sleep? ❞ ❝ it often seems that you’re on your own, but always remember you have a team you can count on. ❞ ❝ whatever you’re planning, make sure you see it through to the end. ❞ ❝ it can get tough when it feels like there’s no end to it in sight. ❞ ❝ i don’t need this world anymore, but i need you. ❞ ❝ it doesn’t matter how well you do something, as long as you look good doing it. ❞ ❝ i always felt like my mission was to cross the ultimate frontier. that frontier is death. ❞ ❝ something in me died back then. i just couldn’t handle it. ❞ ❝ would you take a bullet for me? ❞ ❝ no. i don’t believe it. you hear me? not a single word. you’re lying. ❞ ❝ what, a little guilt creeps in and that’s that? you give up? ❞ ❝ it’s an awful place…it is no wonder you are losing your mind. ❞ ❝ i realize you’re there, always were, and a wave of relief washes over me. ❞ ❝ remember when you were asked: quiet life or blaze of glory? shame you chose wrong. ❞ ❝ ooooooooh, i get what’s going on here. you’re jealous. ❞ ❝ think dangerous; be dangerous. think weak; be weak. ❞ ❝ it’s true what they say. you’re good. really fucking good. got a stick up your ass, through. ❞ ❝ hah. my mind. that’s…that’s a touchy subject. ❞ ❝ y’know, they say time is the best teacher. i used to think that was true. ❞ ❝ you know what, sweetheart? we’ll have plenty of time to tear at each other’s throats later. ❞ ❝ i have to sit and think…about everything. ❞ ❝ no really, it’s ok. it just scraped me. ❞ ❝ a peaceful death in this town? guy won the jackpot. ❞ ❝ sorry you had to witness that. things just get complicated sometimes. ❞ ❝ who you work for? start talking! ❞ ❝ well, well….looks like fortune favors the stupid, too. ❞ ❝ day’s not over yet. you still have a chance to piss me off. ❞ ❝ what’s free comes most costly. ❞ ❝ sometimes two people find themselves at the wrong place at the right time. ❞ ❝ i’m in this city, free to do whatever i want with my life, but…am i really free? ❞ ❝ i sense anything going wrong, i’m out. ❞ ❝ i met people like you before - they’re all dead now. ❞ ❝ drop by if you ever want to talk. or if you don’t we can just sit together in silence. either way, i’m here for you. ❞ ❝ i’m nobody, i’m a zero. ❞ ❝ normally, you are open to new things, but now you are afraid? ❞ ❝ you know, i still got that contract to kill you. ❞ ❝ you saved me just like that, because you…felt like it? ❞ ❝ have you known love? do you know what it is? ❞ ❝ talked in your sleep, you know. ❞ ❝ someone should give you a checkup, see if you’re ok. someone you trust. ❞ ❝ goodbye, and please - stay away. you’ve done enough already. ❞ ❝ one thing we can’t do is be afraid of others. ❞ ❝ that the pick-up line you settled on? ❞ ❝ right…so, gonna stop by? or gonna make me grovel? ❞ ❝ i’ve missed you, you know, heh… ❞ ❝ listen…got a bad vibe about this. you? ❞ ❝ it seems all good, like nothing bad ever happened. ❞ ❝ i…i was angry…i must’ve lost control. ❞ ❝ full disclosure - i’ve never lost a fight. ❞ ❝ if you wanna change the world, there’s always a price to be paid. ❞ ❝ you ever wake up in the middle of the night…and not know who you were for a second…? you ever feel like you weren’t really ‘you’? ❞ ❝ here i feared you’d forgotten about me. ❞ ❝ all right. you know why we’re here, don’t you? say you do. ❞ ❝ you don’t realize it, but…you’ve given me something beautiful. ❞ ❝ i’m really starting to feel like your puppet. ❞ ❝ if you wanted my attention, you just earned it. ❞ ❝ the stronger survive. you’re either somebody or you fizzle out into nothing. ❞ ❝ now answer my question. honestly. forthrightly. are you here alone? ❞ ❝ my whole life’s a fucking cosmic joke. ❞ ❝ i know that it might seem like you’re trying to help, but i’d rather that you just left us alone…otherwise things won’t end well. ❞ ❝ so you can be nice when you feel like it. ❞ ❝ it’s always good to have the strength of others to support you too. ❞ ❝ you’re worth more than you think. trust me. ❞ ❝ talked in your sleep, you know. ❞ ❝ well, i slept like a puppy. that’s a crazy shoulder you have there. ❞ ❝ is that a quiver in your voice i hear? ❞ ❝ what makes someone a criminal? getting caught. ❞ ❝ the only limit to what you can do is what you’re willing to do. ❞ ❝ you only have to look at you. a venomous spider wearing the mask of a nice lady. but i will not be fooled. ❞ ❝ ugh, trust issues, again? thought we’d talked it all out. ❞ ❝ what the fuck is going on? i feel like i’m not in control of anything anymore… ❞ ❝ sorry, but, i’d rather be alone right now. ❞ ❝ remember, a while back, you told me to give you a solid kick in the pants if i saw you diving into the stupid pool again? ❞ ❝ sit your ass down a minute, honey, and breathe. ❞ ❝ lately i feel like i’ve been ranting and raging, so i just want to make sure you know i appreciate what you did for me. ❞ ❝ i’ll just lie here a while, by your side, gazing at the stars. ❞ ❝ when the time comes, it will be my life for yours. ❞ ❝ how did we grow so far apart? ❞ ❝ you think you just stepped in shit. actually, you fell headfirst into a cesspit. ❞ ❝ no more mayhem, no more shady-ass schemes. done with that. ❞ ❝ say it. say it out loud. not for me, but for yourself. ❞ ❝ a pathetic attempt to get under my skin. ❞ ❝ i loathe it - this whole ‘playing tough in the face of death’ thing. ❞ ❝ the road to the stars is always paved with darkness. ❞ ❝ wait up! don’t do this. you can still change your mind. ❞ ❝ dammit, no matter how hard i try, i can’t forget you… ❞ ❝ plenty of others out there’re more deservin’ of life. but even so… i’d never wish you dead. ❞ ❝ truth is everything’s going off the rails. i feel worse and worse. ❞ ❝ i’m nowhere near as tough as you and i can’t pretend to be anymore. ❞ ❝ you don’t seriously think i’ll just up and leave you? i’m with you - through thick and thin. ❞ ❝ i’d say i’m happy to see you, but it’s not good to lie. ❞ ❝ watch yourself. they don’t like strangers here. ❞ ❝ i’ll get us through this, you’ll see. ❞ ❝ i’m just happy, like, dumb happy, you know? you’re really amazing. ❞ ❝ you’re playing with fire. don’t dare cross the line. ❞ ❝ i’m afraid things won’t be the same between us if i tell you the whole truth. ❞ ❝ do you even know what i had to sacrifice to get where i am? the price i paid? ❞ ❝ your first time here, isn’t it? want some advice? go the fuck away. ❞ ❝ when someone tells me to not worry, they’re usually hiding something. ❞ ❝ it’s not easy talking about what’s biting me at the ass. ❞ ❝ just promise me one thing: don’t forget me. ❞ ❝ beware - you mock me…too often. ❞ ❝ legends - know where you’ll find most of them? the graveyard. ❞ ❝ ah, you try to provoke me. is this wise, you think? ❞ ❝ i can lead others away from the darkness. ❞ ❝ walk away. do it while you still can. ❞ ❝ the more i say everything’s okay, the more i feel like i’m straight up lying. ❞ ❝ you need to take a few deep breaths. then rethink all this, hard.. ❞ ❝ you can call me back. do you know why? because i am here for you. ❞ ❝ why’d you wanna meet me here? for the view, or you turning sentimental on me? ❞ ❝ know what? think i figured you out. ❞ ❝ there’s a time for forgiveness and a time for revenge. ❞ ❝ if not for you…i’d be long dead. several times over. ❞ ❝ you’re adorable. didn’t realize you still had a child-like imagination…and intelligence. ❞ ❝ death walks in your wake. ❞ ❝ thought we’d talk…truly, madly, deeply - like we used to way back then. ❞ ❝ just trying to live with it. survive, actually. ❞ ❝ the world doesn’t forgive. it eats people alive. but you - well, you survived. ❞ ❝ everyone i’ve met so far says i’m far too gone. ❞ ❝ hey, come on, you’re not the one at blame here. ❞ ❝ don’t make the same mistake i made. say goodbye to the people you love. ❞ ❝ well, aren’t you just bursting with a can-do attitude? ❞ ❝ guess i left a lasting impression. good. ❞ ❝ trust me, don’t trust me - i don’t give a fuck. ❞
Send ❤️ if you want to ship but are too shy to ask
Can be sent on anon or not
Vampire Starters Part 2
Feel free to edit however you see fit [Part 1]
Vampire
“Dude, coffins are expensive. I just sleep the human way: in a bed.”
“Even beds can be expensive, I’d rather just sleep bat style on the ceiling.”
“How the HELL am I supposed to keep this hidden from everyone?!”
“Couldn’t you have turned me at a more convenient time?!”
“Trust me, you don’t want this.”
“Why? Why did you think it was ever a good idea to turn me?!”
“Garlic bread? Are you trying to kill me?!”
“Looks like you’re new. Let me show you the ropes.”
“It’s best if you don’t know too much about me.”
“Quit quoting twilight.”
“Trust me. I know what I’m doing. I’ve done this crap for five centuries now.”
“Wait, you didn’t know I was a vampire?”
“Not all vampires are unable to eat garlic! Dracula just had an allergy and suddenly everyone thinks we all despise it!”
“Hey! Quit throwing garlic at me!”
“So how does this thing work? I swear it’s so hard keeping up with the times.”
“Petition to ban the sun.”
“You may have the newest phone, but I can change into a bat.”
“Being a vampire has its perks. There’s so many ways to mess with people.”
“That place is open 24 hours because the owners are vampires and hey, vampires need jobs too.”
“It’s nice to not be chased by angry mobs with pitch forks and torches.”
“Not all vampires are as friendly.”
“It’s always weird seeing vampires romanticized in the media… like.. no one looks hot while drinking some guy’s blood, trust me.”
Human
“Hey, hey. Easy with the teeth.”
“So you’re not using the bag to hide a body? Just for sleeping…?”
“I thought vampires slept in coffins.”
“_, you can’t just keep turning into a bat every time you wanna avoid a conversation!”
“Okay but the fangs are kinda hot.”
“I swear I will kill your undead ass.”
“We’ve been friends for like forever. You can tell me anything.”
“Wait where’s you’re reflection?”
“Wait why are you just standing there? You can come in, you know.”
“I’m sorry but your license expired fifty years ago…? Wait what? There’s no way- this has to be fake. You look exactly the same.”
“You don’t look that old.”
“Long time no see! You look just like you did in high school!”
“Just go look in the m- oh wait, right. I’m so sorry.”
“Wait, you’re a vampire?! How? You literally faint at the sight of blood!”
“I don’t care what you are, you’re still you and I love you.”
“That explains why your feet are always so damn cold when we share a bed!”
“I like our nightly beach dates. I never have to worry about getting sun burnt myself~”
“Woah what happened to you?!”
"What, did you think you and your Master were the only bloodsuckers on earth?" The masked sewer dweller chuckled at the police girl "Yeah, unlike The King, most of us prefer a low profile." From Z ( @the-masxuerade )
“Not really. I figure theirs more. Just hiding since the nazi attack.”
“Ha! Yeah, those Falsebloods really stirred the pot, didn’t they.” The masked vamp responded, finding a sick amusement at the chaos “You’d think the Sabbat would have been behind it. Usually vampire supremacy is their whole thing. I guess Nazi vampire supremacy is a bridge too far for them. As if those freaks suddenly have standards”
Shit heard in Ghost Stories meme
“When this bitch kicks, I’m moving to Vegas.”
“Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?”
“I don’t care about your cat, he’s probably dead.”
“Principals always look like lesbians.”
“When a stronger spirit appears, the weaker spirit cowers. But all evil spirits cower before Jesus!”
“Oh my, what a gifted seamstress. I hope you’re not a homosexual.”
“If you want something to happen, you just need to pray! And not be a Muslim. Or Jewish.”
“What the fizzityuck was that?”
“Where’s the damn cat?”
“These pajamas are gay.”
“Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you come to the scary, isolated pay phone on the bad side of town, alone?”
“Maybe you have a hidden talent you don’t know about! Like Paris Hilton being an actress! Oh, scratch that.”
“THINK OF A BIG BLACK MAN CHASING YOU!”
“A car accident… must have been hit by an old Chinamen. I don’t mean to be racist, but those people CANNOT drive.”
“You’d be surprised just how many transgressions a filthy little sinner like you can rack up in just a day.”
“Look, a little Jew boy.”
“Come rub my nipples.”
“Drop the Krispy Kreme, Serpiko! We need your help here!”
“My BS detector is going DING!”
“I can read. Not well, but I can read. And those letters… are BACKWARDS!”
“The weird part is, I’m not even high. Not a bit. Totally sober!”
“The internet was a blessing from the Lord Jesus to spread the word of God throughout the world, but then Muslims and pedophiles stole it and used it to lure out and seduce children like you.”
“Hey, want some candy little boy?”
“You can use it if you promise not to be on the phone too long. I know how you Pagans take advantage of others.”
“A bunch of somber, quiet people against a red nuclear sky near a river of blood. Wow, that doesn’t look threatening at all.”
“Why? Because Jewish people rock!”
“That’s so sweet… in a ‘you scare the crap out of me in an Emily Rose’ kind of way!”
“Here, you can take pooky-poo. He used to be my man, but we broke up.”
“The V on my sweater stands for 'Very Big Deal’, but that’s beside the point.”
“Come on, jump… I SAID JUMP!”
“Yes, the animal cemetery. Hear the plot point bells going off?”
“I hope Stephen King never sees this.”
“She’s looking straight at us, I don’t think we hid very well.”
“Those 3 to 4 cardboard boxes aren’t going to hold them for long!”
“Lord reveal your salvation, for I am your favorite among these heathens.”
“Yo sensei Dave, what’s haps on the snaps with the craps?”
“You two-timing son of a bitch! Who’s gonna take care of these little bastards!?”
“Oh splinter ohhhhh!”
“Shut up. You’re here, and you’re an idiot.”
“Years ago, people went in there but they didn’t come out. Not unlike your sister.”
“2.2 Celsius… Metric system. Who thought this was a good idea again? I’m just gonna put 100. No one’s gonna know.”
“Oh perfect, it’s in Japanese. Ching chong nong ding tow! Wait, that’s Chinese.”
“God, can you go bomb an abortion clinic or something?”
“Creepy Japanese men can be cabbies too y'know. But women should never be allowed to drive.”
“Obeying horror movie rules, I’m going to go out alone. You stay here while I go look for help.”
“I’m not giving you a reach around.”
“You’re such a bitch.”
“First we do a geographic montage to show we traveled a long way from your house. There, that should be enough.”
“I’m gonna beat you retarded.”
“Jesus saved my ass.”
“And what a lovely little ass it is, too.”
“¡NO CORRAN EN EL HOSPITAL, CABRONES!”
“Now that is some really nice animation.”
“Nice rack. Mind if I make 'em a little bigger? Ahahaehehahhha boobies. Loooove boobies. Nice lips too. I USED TO HAVE LIPS!”
“Lunchtime BJ?”
“Let’s see… purple, for your hair. Can’t tell this was a goddamn anime.”
“Okay. Stop trying to look up my skirt. IT’S A CARTOON!”
“Holy time machine, Batman, it’s 1973!”
“Holy pre-Parkinson’s Michael J Fox Christopher Lloyd Back To The Future plot ripoff device! Where’s my DeLorean?”
“I’ll grab her ass!”
“Oh damn anime, look what’s happened to my eyes.”
“Leo! Leo! Leo! Leo! Goddamnit! Goddamnit! Goddamnit! Goddamnit!”
“It’s the chick from The Ring! I mean, The Grudge! What movie are we ripping off again?”
“Oh my god, did that spell work? You know, like the one where you write your name in an eraser? I hear the head cheerleader’s having an abortion.”
“Such a bitch! Stop being such a friggin’ skank and give it back!”
“Sometimes yes means no!”
“Moshi moshi! I mean, hello.”
“Tomomi? Ain’t no Tomomi girl living here, so what?”
“Get your cracker ass into some rehab, I ain’t got time for this bullshit.”
“MOTHAFUCKA.”
“Run! She’s a ghost and a bitch!”
“I’m goin’ fuckin’ crazy.”
“HEY! Maybe if they paid their fuckin’ phone bill, you could call again!”
“Nobody’s talking to you. Just drive the bus, bus driver. Fuckin’ nosy.”
“Oh, sorry. All you little yellow people look alike to me. And African Americans, but not the Mexicans. Why do you think that is? I mean, don’t you find that just the weirdest thing?”
“Romans 1:26, God gave them over to shameful lusts!”
“A view of the blood-stained lake. AHHHHHHH”
“Oh it may be blue now, but soon it will be redder than Republican Texas.”
“No, I’m serious, bitch. I swear to god. Blue.”
“Maybe this vase isn’t nailed down.”
“We go with the snow but not the snow that is yellow!”
“Alright everybody, it’s 4:30. School is finally over. Time to go home, load up that bong, and watch Pokemon!”
“Leave me alone, I’m doing my standard anime 'elbows up’ pose.”
“Oh wow. I can’t even comprehend how inappropriate this is.”
“GOD YOU’RE MAKING ME SICK.”
“God you are four of the ugliest fucking kids I’ve ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on. I can’t wait for this bitch to kill you.”
“NANIIIIIII?”
“Oh my, definitely a 10.”
“If you do, I’ll suck you all for a Scooby Snack.”
“Any closer and there’d be insertion.”
“I may be a successful doctor, but first and foremost I’m a Jew.”
“You know what I hear? I hear the sound of you shuttin’ the fuck up.”
“Let’s see… 7?”
“What the FUCK are you talking about!?”
" 𝓞𝓱… 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀… "
Indie, Canon Divergent Portrayal of Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate, taking on the persona of the Abridged Series.
Mun is 18+
Tags -> X
Dark and Sexual Themes/Humor Present
Multiverse & Crossover Friendly
Will not interact with those under 18
Follows back from @/divinityunleashed
Tracking abridgedvampire
Permanent Starter Call -> X
" 𝓐 𝓡𝓔𝓐𝓛 𝓕𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓥𝓪𝓶𝓹𝓲𝓻𝓮. "
"You can put the gun down, Hemovore Rex." The masked vampire said to the fangs of Helsing, his voice more puckish than fearful "I ain't your target. In fact, for the right price, I COULD help you find them~" [Z - @the-masxuerade ]
"You're lucky I let you talk enough to tell me." Putting down his dual pistols, the vampire's red eyes practically glowed in the dark while staring at the masked vampire in front of him.
"I'm not paying money, if that's what you're asking for." Mostly as Alucard didn't have any money on him. Why would he? As a vampire hunting vampire, it isn't like he's spending anything.
The Vampire in front of Alucard was a ragged and dirty mess. It was likely these sewers are the closest thing to home that he has. As for his abilities, as crafty as he seemed, it was incredibly unlikely at first glance that this masked individual would last half a minute fighting the Vampire King. So what other defense could he have but persuasion?
“Then you’re lucky that I accept trades.” The shady blood-sucker replied. “But first, introductions. Zachary Roth, but people call me Z. I also go by The Masked Merchant, The Enigmatic Info Broker and That Slimy Asshole…Hold on a moment.”
Z bent over, picking up one of the many sewer rats at his feet. The creature let out a few squeaks, noises that seemed akin to the English language to the Masked one.
“…I see… If I knew I was standing in front of a VIP client, I would have acquired a few blood bags. So…What brings Helsing to my doorstep?”
Send ♡ if you'd be interested in discussing a ship between our muses
"No, by all means" Jack corrected "If they're mass-murdering punks, I won't hold you back. Hell, I may lend a bullet or two. I'm just saying, no matter how much of a massacre you make it, don't make it supernaturally so." Alucard could cut off heads, rip out guts, impale them on makeshift pikes and that would be fine. Well, not fine, but it wouldn't be beyond the realm of human capability. Humans could get pretty fucked up. Stuff like making their blood erupt from their bodies or crushing skulls like grapes in your bare hands, though? Yeah, kinda hard to explain how a mere mortal could do that.
"Not all choose the embrace." He sighed, looking down at the lights of passing cars in the city night "Maybe you did. As a fool in love, I did too. But some poor damned souls have the choice made for them. Regardless, we all know we're monsters. We all have that beast inside, craving blood and threatening to turn us rabid if it ain't sated. That's why we hold onto as much humanity as we still can. Our rules, our creeds, the ties that bind...Anything to keep us grounded, to keep us from spiraling into the darkness." It wasn't like all Vampires were like The Sabbat. True, they all had to feed, but vampires around here usually made a point not to drain their prey to death. Barring the people who intended them harm, of course. Self-defense meant the gloves were off. "When they stop tryin', though? When they let The Beast win and go full monster? That's when the likes of us get involved. The Hunters like you and The Enforcers like me."
"What you're saying is that I need to hold back my own tactics? Where's the fun in that. You make it sound as though I have to result to my tactics from over six-hundred years ago." For as much as he likes his enemies on spikes, it doesn't feel nearly as fun as a floor drenched in blood. "I take it the police and the government at large doesn't know the existence of vampires here?"
Back in England, the Hellsing organization worked closely and received it's funding from the English government. Hell, Alucard was actually friends with her majesty when she was just appointed queen!
"Call me a pessimist, I prefer a realist, but clinging to your humanity as a vampire will only bring a faster trip to that darkness." Yet he can't really speak from experience. The entire reason he turned into a vampire was to throw away his humanity, quite literally everything as he had nothing left. "I'm merely in control because I've grown bored of annihilating everything. Of course, there's my binding contract as well." Waving the back of his hand, showing the seal that bound his very soul to the Hellsing bloodline.
“If you ain’t in the club, you shouldn’t even know about the club.” Jack explained as he tapped some ash over the balcony “Been that way since our kind were hunted down during the inquisition. For all the good that did. Now, a few millennia later, those zealots are after us again, bringing more than just swords. Already have enough reason to look over my shoulder, being a gumshoe.”
Smoke escaped the detective’s lips before he turned his head to the Vampire King. “Not the first time that thought came my way.” He sighed “And maybe you’re right. Maybe it is inevitable that we’re going to lose to The Beast. Maybe holding on to our remaining humanity is a fool’s game…but if that’s the case, I’d rather be a fool. After all, if I were to just give up, what would it say about Humanity? What would it say about me?
Better a fool than the alternative, I say.”
The duo walked over to the balcony, the lights of Seattle at night making a scenic canvas for a one-on-one conversation. Jack let out a slightly annoyed sigh and, in that moment, Alucard would be able to spot something of note in his mouth. Fangs. Looks like the PI was a vampire as well. That said, judging by his demeanor, he seemed to be a detective first and a vampire second.
"Listen, Al." He said "Mind if I call you Al? There are two reasons we're out here. One, those bodies are going to hit rapid decomposition soon and that tends to stink up the joint. Two, we need to discuss something. Now, I ain't gonna say you shouldn't have given those goons final death. They were Sabbat. Vampire terrorists, essentially. By all accounts, they had to go. The problem is the lack of tact. Luckily, you only perforated them, so it can still be spun as an act of gang violence or something, but you're skirting a line." The detective took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up, taking a drag. It took quite a while for him to re-learn how to do that, being a walking corpse and all. "I don't know how you do things in jolly old England" He continued "But, here in the states, not all bloodsuckers are supremist hoods like the guys you just offed. Some just want to live their unlives the best they can. True, they still need to feed, but that doesn't necessarily mean draining someone dry or to feed exclusively off of humans. Hell, I usually drink from bags. I digress. Point is, we got our own laws and guidelines to make sure a balance is kept and we're not hunted to extinction. Rule one, The Masquerade, says our kind is meant to be a tall tale and nothing more. What I'm asking is to do as the romans while in Rome, if you get my meaning."
"Al? Not a first, but fine." Mainly, Americans visiting the Hellsing organization decades ago, seems things don't change nearly as much overseas as he thinks then. However, judging by the fact that this man was a fellow vampire, maybe a lack of change was the norm for their kind. He follows outside, leaning his disturbingly tall frame against the wall leading towards the balcony.
"You make it sound as though the smell of rotting flesh is a problem for me." He scoffs, far too used to the smell of death that he practically enjoys it. Of course, he's not that rude as to torture someone else with it. "I'm simply doing it the way I've always done. Is coming into a location and annihilating every single one of those weaklings not something done here anymore?" He's not really offended, he knows every place has their protocols and tact, but he thought his style of massacre was at least fine enough.
Pushing up his sunglasses, he hides a smirk underneath the white gloves containing the binding spell keeping his very soul tied to the Hellsing bloodline. "Vampires wanting to live like mortals, with a catch, not the first I've heard it but it's pathetic." That's when the vampire starts to laugh, albeit manically as it always was, when his head tilts down for a better look at him. "We all made our choice, detective, I think trying to undo that by playing mortal is nothing more than delusional denial." He would know, thinking long before this man was surely even born that he could pull a woman who didn't belong to him right into his arms.
"No, by all means" Jack corrected "If they're mass-murdering punks, I won't hold you back. Hell, I may lend a bullet or two. I'm just saying, no matter how much of a massacre you make it, don't make it supernaturally so." Alucard could cut off heads, rip out guts, impale them on makeshift pikes and that would be fine. Well, not fine, but it wouldn't be beyond the realm of human capability. Humans could get pretty fucked up. Stuff like making their blood erupt from their bodies or crushing skulls like grapes in your bare hands, though? Yeah, kinda hard to explain how a mere mortal could do that.
"Not all choose the embrace." He sighed, looking down at the lights of passing cars in the city night "Maybe you did. As a fool in love, I did too. But some poor damned souls have the choice made for them. Regardless, we all know we're monsters. We all have that beast inside, craving blood and threatening to turn us rabid if it ain't sated. That's why we hold onto as much humanity as we still can. Our rules, our creeds, the ties that bind...Anything to keep us grounded, to keep us from spiraling into the darkness." It wasn't like all Vampires were like The Sabbat. True, they all had to feed, but vampires around here usually made a point not to drain their prey to death. Barring the people who intended them harm, of course. Self-defense meant the gloves were off. "When they stop tryin', though? When they let The Beast win and go full monster? That's when the likes of us get involved. The Hunters like you and The Enforcers like me."
@praeteritus-memories continued
"They were dead from the beginning, if you want to get technical." the other snarked, finding a symbol painted onto one of the arms like a tattoo. The Sword of Caine. The Sabbat. Of course it was The Sabbat. Only those boobs would be bold enough to piss off both The Second Inquisition AND Hellsing.
"Jack Bonetti, Private Investigator." He introduced himself as he moved toward the balcony "I think some fresh night air is in order. Let's talk, friend." Though his tone was cordial, the look in his eyes was like that of an upset parent who's kid was caught breaking a window. Less a request and more a demand.
"You're an amusing one then." Glad to know he doesn't have to waste his time fighting someone who tried to parade some kind of morality over killing vampires. It doesn't happen often, but it is tedious when people mistake the vampires he kills as humans.
"Private investigator? That explains your familiar attire. You may simply call me Alucard." His real name wasn't lost to time by any means, but so feared by others that his second master ordered that he go by an alias instead. "I'll give you the time, I have a bit before I have to return to my master." The frightfully tall vampire, hat nearly touching the ceiling, follows along the private investigator.
The duo walked over to the balcony, the lights of Seattle at night making a scenic canvas for a one-on-one conversation. Jack let out a slightly annoyed sigh and, in that moment, Alucard would be able to spot something of note in his mouth. Fangs. Looks like the PI was a vampire as well. That said, judging by his demeanor, he seemed to be a detective first and a vampire second.
"Listen, Al." He said "Mind if I call you Al? There are two reasons we're out here. One, those bodies are going to hit rapid decomposition soon and that tends to stink up the joint. Two, we need to discuss something. Now, I ain't gonna say you shouldn't have given those goons final death. They were Sabbat. Vampire terrorists, essentially. By all accounts, they had to go. The problem is the lack of tact. Luckily, you only perforated them, so it can still be spun as an act of gang violence or something, but you're skirting a line." The detective took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up, taking a drag. It took quite a while for him to re-learn how to do that, being a walking corpse and all. "I don't know how you do things in jolly old England" He continued "But, here in the states, not all bloodsuckers are supremist hoods like the guys you just offed. Some just want to live their unlives the best they can. True, they still need to feed, but that doesn't necessarily mean draining someone dry or to feed exclusively off of humans. Hell, I usually drink from bags. I digress. Point is, we got our own laws and guidelines to make sure a balance is kept and we're not hunted to extinction. Rule one, The Masquerade, says our kind is meant to be a tall tale and nothing more. What I'm asking is to do as the romans while in Rome, if you get my meaning."