insane how much jay years for kay the entire fucking time INSANE. after neuralyzing him jay spends 5 years dropping partners and looking up at the stars thinking about him. he gets him back and they spend 14!!!!! years together. that's actually insane
And then when his partner literally DIES in his timeline, he realizes that this time, K is really not around anymore and it hits him so hard, that he does literally anything to get him back. He had just 1 chance, 1 tight chance, which could absolutely fall apart if just any small thing went wrong.
And yet, he doesn’t hesitate one time. He doesn’t think twice, he doesn’t consider any other options. Putting his life as well as the fate of the entire universe on the line means nothing to him when it’s for K.
The “You must really love this guy to do this!” hides a lot under its surface.
Me when I’m in the “funny movies about blowing up aliens where the concept of the two main agents being literal inseparable soulmates is absolutely overlooked” competition and the Men in Black trilogy shows up:
Rewatching Men in Black last night cause I had to see an actually GOOD live action alien movie (you know what you did, Lilo and Stitch 2025) and I picked up on something new almost immediately, something I never really acknowledged as a kid, since... I was a kid, what'd you expect?
Anyway, I noticed this detail at the very start in Edgar's first scene. Or- rather Kerb's first scene, since that's his actual name. As a kid I was absolutely OBSESSED with this thing, this and Insectosaurus were my ultimate gender envies. But it's very safe to say he is um. Not a GREAT person.
Kerb is very unapologetically a complete psychopath. Being a Bug, which are naturally violent and powerful, he poses a very real threat to everyone who crosses his path. The fact hundreds of aliens flee upon hearing there's a Bug around, even with newborns, just goes to show that they absolutely are not something to mess around with. They're angry, strong, selfish creatures with no hesitancy to kill whatever is in their way. At least that's what K tells us.
Yet... Kerb isn't ACTUALLY that nasty and aggressive, all things considered. From the way K describes Bugs, you'd think they'd have little to no reason to spare literally anyone. But Kerb only ever really goes for people who he actively needs gone, or who ignore his warnings to stay away. Like he's actually very self aware about what he IS.
It's first noticeable in literally that very first scene. When Edgar, an abusive douchebag of a husband, storms out with a gun to confront Kerb head on. Kerb actively warns Edgar to put the weapon away, instead of just. Going for the instant kill and moving on. He gives Edgar that chance to surrender and back off. It's when Edgar cockily states he'll only back down if he's dead that Kerb agrees to those terms. From an alien's perspective, that was a voluntary sacrifice. Kerb needed a disguise, and in his eyes, Edgar essentially just willingly gave him permission to use his skin. Of course, that's not what ACTUALLY happened, but an alien like Kerb who doesn't understand a lot about communication on earth would likely take it as such.
He's also actually surprisingly really nice to Beatrice, Edgar's abused wife. He could easily kill her and take what he needs, but he doesn't. He asks her for sugar water and that's it. Granted, he doesn't use manners, but he doesn't seem to be aware that that's a thing anyway. Not to mention how, in comparison to Mikey from the start, he doesn't take the opportunity to kill her once she realises something isn't right. Mikey was IMMEDIATELY on the hunt upon being spotted outside his disguise, without a second of hesitation.
But when Beatrice points out to Kerb that he looks off, he just tries to fix the issue. In an admittedly absolutely horrifying way, yes, but his instinct isn't to get insecure and kill her. It's to try hearing her criticism and asking her if what he did made it better. Which no, it absolutely didn't, but he still tried to fix the issue. He doesn't even try eating her after she faints! He just kinda stares for a second before willingly leaving, without taking anything else from the house at all. That's... a surprisingly patient reaction, especially when K stated before how Bugs have a MASSIVE superiority complex. By all means, if that were true, he would've become instantly hostile over her pointing out a flaw in his disguise. But he didn't.
Personally? I think the reason for that specifically was because Kerb has an issue with the very thing he's accused of living by; an unfair power dynamic. He didn't just see her as something worth getting rid of. This was an abused woman alone in her house in the middle of nowhere, and he had just killed her abuser. He doesn't leave her because he needs her anymore, he leaves her because he sees her the same way he sees insects.
He isnt dumb enough to brush over that detail of her being small and weak compared to the brash and aggressive Edgar. He KNOWS Edgar is hostile; that's an issue he himself just had to deal with. Beatrice is like a bug on earth; at risk of being crushed by the bigger, nastier creatures. THAT'S why he let her go. We already know he has a surprising soft spot for smaller and weaker creatures like bugs. J actively says "the big bad bug has a soft spot" upon confronting Kerb later on. It also explains why he never went back for Beatrice even after she blew his cover by releasing the information of what happened. Yes, she caused a problem for him, but that wasn't enough reason to bother hunting her down.
Moving on, cause I've spoken about Beatrice enough. The exterminator. Yes, what Kerb did was absolutely cruel. The fact he killed an innocent person in such a painful and brutal way just to steal his truck is so messed up. But ALSO... what is one thing we've learned about Kerb by this point?
He isn't opposed to eliminating something he considers hostile.
Edgar barely posed a threat, but he killed him anyway because he challenged him, and Kerb just took what he needed from him. It's the same with the exterminator. He needed a vehicle, and the exterminator, in Kerb's mind, actively brought on the fight. By killing a bunch of cockroaches and belittling them as just annoying pests, Kerb took that as a challenge. He took that as a willingness to battle. So he did the exact same thing he did with Edgar. Killed the guy, and took what he needed. Sure, WE know the exterminator was absolutely not as bad of a person as Edgar was, but Kerb DOESN'T. This guy is essentially a war criminal in his head. That's fair game to a creature like him.
Not all his kills are justifiable though, of course. We can't forget that despite his soft spot, he is still a bad person. He still killed two innocent aliens, one of which being royalty, to steal from them. But I do also love the detail that he spared Orion, the cat. Yes, he grabbed the poor kitty quite hard, but he let him go once he got his collar. He could've very easily killed the little guy and been done with it, maybe eaten him as a snack, but he actively CHOSE to let Orion go. He didn't need him anymore, so didn't really have to consider even hurting him any further than that grab.
And again, the guy in the morgue. Not only does he act quite snappy and hostile towards an on edge animal (how DARE he take the bell, Kerb was enjoying that ):<), but he also actively ignored his warnings. Kerb didn't even just give one warning before snapping. He gave this guy SEVERAL chances to stop killing the bugs in front of him. He told him blatantly to cut it out, and the guy just shrugged him off, around FOUR TIMES. So of COURSE Kerb lost his patience. Again, much like the exterminator, he's taking this as a blatant threat. That'd be like watching someone continue to kill kittens right in front of you after telling them to stop at multiple points.
And Laurel. Okay, yes, absolute dick move kidnapping her and forcing her to drive him to the inactive ships. But I do have to give him credit where it's due, he DOES let her go. He didn't want to at first, stating he needs a snack for himself and to feed his family, but eventually just rolls his eyes and complies with her demands to let her go. He doesn't even just drop her from the height that'd definitely kill her, she gets thrown on the top of a tree and left to climb down on her own. He could've used that extra food, but ultimately just agreed to leave her there and go home.
Finally, the final showdown with J and K. Again, he really doesn't pose that much of a threat to them until they actively confront him head on. He would've saved so much time just killing them and being done with it, but opts not to, only focusing on leaving the planet until they start to use force. He only grabs and eats their guns to prevent being shot, then starts to walk off. He doesn't attack K until K challenges him to fight. K TELLS Kerb to eat him. So he does. Again, like Edgar, he took that as a willing sacrifice. And he never goes for J until J becomes an issue by jumping on him and restricting movement. But he doesn't even just kill him there! He just pushes him aside in frustration and moves on.
It isn't until J stoops to that level that Kerb finally processes him as an issue that needs solving. J willingly crushes cockroaches in full earshot of Kerb, mocking him by asking if they're distant relatives. It's Kerb's soft spot that ends up becoming his downfall, because he abandons his escape plan to stop J and protect the other insects. Even at the very end, when he's been severed in half and is on the brink of death, his priority is to kill J. J isn't even holding Orion's collar by that point! Kerb really just sat there and thought 'if I'm going down, I'm avenging my brethren first'. Thankfully, he didn't succeed, but he definitely went for it, and would've succeeded if he'd never spared Laurel, who shot him just before he could attack J for the last time. Again, his soft spot became his weakness.
Anyway this went on for WAY too long but I have a lot of thoughts on the exact nature of Bugs. I don't think they're heartless monsters like K states they are. Selfish and aggressive, definitely. But they do have SOME level of compassion. Kerb actively cares about weaker species. He cares enough about the little guys enough to be his own worst enemy just to help them. He risks his cover being blown by Beatrice but never even considers going back to put her down for it. He listens to Laurel's pleas to be put down and throws her to a safe spot, and it ends up getting him killed. He could've eaten Orion but never actively desired to and never had a problem with him as a whole. He only ever murdered those who initiated a fight first, or who were in his way. Bugs are more complex than we're told.
This is not my way of justifying what he did by the way. Like by all means he is very much a villain and had to be put down. But no one ever really talks about how complex he is too.
Watching the MIB movies again... you know what they should've done in the second one? Instead of Evil Hot Lady as the villain, she is; a little girl. At least, that's her human disguise. In the hokey-movie version they have a child actor in a silly outfit that looks like a Halloween costume made by somebody who watched the Jetsons exactly twice. In "real life", in the past, she was still hidden by the cloak, visually disguised as a human child. When she returns to find the Light of Zartha, we finally get a good look at her; a little blonde girl in pigtails, a button-up short-sleeved shirt and skirt. She is... Tiffany. Like, that's literally what her alien species is called, by pure coincidence. JAY WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG ABOUT THAT CARDBOARD CUT-OUT BEING SUSPICIOUS. Anyway, I think that would have been hilarious~
VERY easy to watch MiB3. And come away with the realization that there was a very high possibility of K spending the whole movie thinking that he and J were an item in the future.
Men in Black is so much funnier if you view it through a DND angle.
J is just a Bard with ADHD and a poor attention span who flubbed his way through a job interview by rolling 3 separate Nat 20 persuasion checks in a row.
They're in the shooting test, every party member in full combat mode like it's a surprise attack firing their guns at anything that moves except the little girl tile in the middle of the board. meanwhile J's player was scrolling through Pinterest during the encounter until the DM called him out for not firing a single shot and he says "I shoot blindly towards the center of the encounter" and rolls a 18. THEN, when the test administrator (the DM) asks him why little Suzie had to die (the party assume his 18 was a failed roll and he hit the 1 singular civilian in the encounter, J's Player decides to "Try to bullshit the test administrator", and the DM decides to let him freestyle his reasoning behind shooting Suzie (J's Player is just criticizing the Mini's picked), the DM, out of annoyance, asks him to roll a persuasion check to see if the Administrator believes his bullshit. And J's Player rolls a Nat 20 while the DM rolls a counter roll of 2.
And thus J gets Hired.
If that isn't a DND campaign in general I don't know what is.
I’ve just watched all the Men in Black films back-to-back and I need to say something. The majority of Jay/Kay fanfiction seems to involve Josh Brolin instead of Tommy Lee Jones. This is cowardice. Smith and Jones have such good chemistry and in MiB 3 seem five seconds away from crying every time they look at each other. To use the colloquial vernacular, he should have fucked that old man.
does anyone think they'd make a good MIB agent? i think i' be shit. not good with slime, can't shoot, not great at working one-on-one with people, not great at following orders, prone to existential crisis, need like 10 hours of sleep a day to function.
blakekathryn
ellievsbear
amandla
andulkaphoto
stormborns
vaporwave
