} This space is for our ramblings while we try to find people from our sources/cannons. Each post will be signed off with our name and source as well as act as an open invitation for anyone from any source to talk!
} The ask box is open to anyone! Feel free to say hello, start a conversation, ask questions, or simply chat!
(don't ask why everything's labeled as kin. people want to reach people i guess. i can't be fucked enough to care. -jax)
} In case anyone is wondering, we are plural and tag things as "kin" from time to time, both as a way of reaching out further to people as well as just a personal comfort thing.
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Basic Info:
Name: Attic / Neon / Dreamer (or whatever posts are signed off as.)
Pronouns: It/They
Age: (bodily) 24
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(with memories)
Marcus Keay (tma non-cannon) @the-archive-stray
Lee Marchetti (marble hornets non-cannon)
Harbinger "word from the wise / word to the unwise" (marble hornets/Rosswood non-cannon) no longer around
(the list will be added to depending on who feels comfortable posting and being known)
(A strike through the name is just to show who is and isn't active on here)
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Some Tags:
#(name) memory attic : memory documentation
#(name) attic rambles : general source talking
#random attic rambles : posts that aren't necessarily source-related where someone just needs to ramble about something
#attic outreach (source/kin) : mostly reblogs from various others with common sources, kincalls, and other ways of reaching out to others from various sources.
It's been a while since I've been around, but while on a road trip, I've been listening to Trench and SAI so far.
While listening to SAI, I got a memory of that time within my cannon of going back into Dema with the intention of not wanting Clancy to be alone in that place, which lead to me using my job within dema (a seamster) to volunteer as Clancy's costume and makeup coordinator. I would argue with the guards to get them to leave us, and then we would talk and catch up while I put together his outfits and tended to whatever bruises or wounds he had. The dressing room in the back stage area became our small, not-so-hidden sanctuary where we could drop the Proper Dema Citizen act and breathe.
During the events of the feature performance event, I was usually just off camera, handing Clancy whatever change of costume from the sidelines. I like to think it helped him, having a familiar friendly face amongst the chaos of cameras, crew, and guards.
As awful of a time as it was for both of us, more so Clancy, I think our time in that dressing room made us closer friends. Funny the things you learn about someone when you're both only allotted an hour or less to just breathe away from the Bishops.
it's all fun and games until it's 3:30am and The Insomnia Guy™ is too close so you can't sleep.
but besides that, i believe i've had a few source memories come up since the last time i said anything on here.
first of all, leveret was only a placeholder that i later remembered was closer to something i used post-order. my name that most knew me as was seren. i do also think a handful of a few clones even referred to me as their little sister at some point, which was a sweet thing to remember, seeing as i often referred to them all as my brothers.
second of all, i had a little bd droid, similar to the bd-1 droid from jedi: fallen order/survivor. same model, just different colourings. some of the 212th helped paint it's colourings orange to match with them, and i do believe even the 501st added some blue to it as well. i love that little droid very much.
It's funny to me that the Padawan is apparently the most responsible one tasked with nighttime routines.
Though I'm also not one to question those in charge of giving us our tasks.
missing people deeply is so different here compared to my "source". i used to be able to feel those i missed through the force, and it made me feel less alone. but here, i no longer have that ability. and i have never felt more lost and alone.
i miss master kenobi in all his compassion, patience, and wisdom. a steady presence i found peace, safety, and guidance in. things made sense when i was alongside him. he was like a father to me. if he were here with me now, i'm sure he would have something to say about it, something about "walking a thin like between compassion and attachment", but i think he knew better than anyone that i was quite attached to the people i cared deeply about.
i miss the clones as well, my brothers in every way that mattered. for those cloned from a single man, they were all so vastly different in so many ways. different skills, interests, personalities, even their presence within the force felt different between each one of them. i never blamed them for the order, even before i knew what was happening. i still don't. they're all still my brothers and i miss all of them.
all of their absence feels like part of me is missing. i can only trust that they are all out there somewhere, and i can only hope they are all safe and loved, wherever they now find themselves.
i think the most common aspect of all of us is that, in our various sources, we lived close to our friends/family/loved ones.
i lived with tim for basically my entire adult life, and also jay for a bit during source.
eddie lived with his brother and was able to visit his boyfriend in the same little town.
leveret lived amongst the clones and jedi during the clone wars, and even after, still lived amongst those clones no longer under the order's control.
marcus practically lived in the archive with everyone else, and before that lived with his brother.
all of us lived with others or at least close by, but now all of our friends live scattered across the states and aren't close enough to really visit or see without a lot of money.
i don't know. it's just a weird realisation i had just now. needed to get it out somewhere i guess.
it's been a while since i've posted anything on here or just been. here. in general... uh. i set up my camera next to my bed which seems to be somewhat helping with anxiety?
in the words of my good buddy tim:
"well i'm not dead yet so there's something i guess"
hear me out. what if i make myself in baldurs gate 3...
we haavvveeee a save (so many actually it takes up most of the storage on our laptop... gotta delete some of those...) of a tiefling named Karosh.
but i am sooooo wildly out of the loop with the whole dnd thing. it was sadly not something i "carried over".
tragic. i know.
i gotta find my boyfriend one of these days and make him play with me... but for now! i might restart bg3 (again) and make myself and see how things go from there.
