The-Official-Matchmaking-Office

Hi I'm The Intern/Receptionist That Runs This Account Pronouns Are They / He ( Main Blog is @anxiouscrow6 )

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

Yo I'm Valentino The Intern/Receptionist That Runs This Account

Pronouns Are They / He and i don't know why i run this account i'm aroace-

But Anyways Here's All Of Our Past Clients, Current Clients And Various Other Organizations I've Found On Tumblr.

Mostly Just Children :

Sophie Foster - @therealsophieelizabethfoster

Keefe Sencen - @keefe--sencen

Tam Song - @tam-shade-song

Linh Song - @linh--song

Marella Redek - @shut-up-i-will-burn-you

Fitz Vacker - @fitz-avery-vacker

Biana Vacker - @sparkles-make-anything-better

Linh Song - @linh--song

Marella Redek - @shut-up-i-will-burn-you

Wylie Endal - @flasher-boi-endal

Maruca Chebota - @the-only-maruca-chebota

Stina Heks - @im-just-cooler

Jensi Babblos - @jensi-babbles-lots

Amy Foster - @amy-rose-foster

Adults :

Alden Vacker - @alden-dendrick-vacker

Quinlin Sonden - @quinlin-sonden

Della Vacker - @yourfavoritevanisher

Livvy Sonden - @psychic-physician

Elwin Heslege - @elwin-at-your-service

Edaline Ruwen - @edaline-ruwen

Magnate Leto - @magnatetheleto

Tiergan Alenefar - @prentices-husband

The Black Swan :

Mr. Forkle - @norwegian-trickster-god

Squall - @the-prettiest-ice-cube

Blur - @blurrieidentities

Black Swan - @black-swan-official

The Neverseen :

Fintan Pyren - @fintan-pyren

Lady Gisela - @lady-gisela

Gethen Ondsinn - @gethen-inar-ondsinn

Alvar Vacker - @alvar-not-vacker

Ruy Ignis - @chronically-ill-psionipath

Umber - @umberthebettershade

Trix - @trix-up-my-sleeve

Rayni Aria - @your-black-cloaked-bestie

The Neverseen's Technopath / Zero - @neverseen-techn0path

Neverseen: @neverseen-official

Organizations :

Foxfire - @foxfire-official

Exilium - @exillium

The Sanctuary - @sanctuary-official

The Council - @thecouncil-official

The Paid Matchmaking Office Employee - @thematchmakingoffice

The Twelve Biggest Pains In My Ass :

Councillor Terik - @terik-the-councillor

Councillor Oralie - @oralie-pretty-in-pink

Councillor Bronte - @bronte-the-inflictor

Other :

King Dimitar - @king-dimitar

Silveny - @therarestprattlespin

Iggy The Imp - @the-official-iggy-the-imp

Sandor - @igowhereyougo

Ro - @hunkyhairs-backup

Queer Child Who's Presence I Enjoy :

Dex Dizznee - @dex-the-smart-one

(my main acc is @anxiouscrow6)

[fintan-pyren]

Are you gay? Are you divorced? Are you utterly devoid of rizz? You might be eligible for the following job positions!

Councillor

[fintan-pyren]

[camelspit]

Keeper Sexymen 2025: Artist Portrait Signups

The Sexyman Contest is back for its 3rd year! Each year, artists sign up to make portraits of all of the men for the Keeper Sexymen Contest. This form will be open from Nov 21 - Nov 29, and I'll release the portrait assignments on the 30th. You will have until Feb 9 to complete the portraits and turn them in!

Keeper Sexyman 2025: Artist Signup

(alphabetized) List of men + Info about portrait submissions and rules below the cut! If you have any questions, feel free to message me :).

Alden Vacker

Alvar Vacker

Barth the Reaper

Behnam Aria

Blur

Boobrie Dude

Coach Bora

Bo

Brant [REDACTED]

Councillor Bronte

Bullhorn

Cadfael

Cassius Sencen

Councillor Darek

King Dimitar

Durand Redek

Elwin Heslege

Councillor Emery

King Enki

Ethan Benedict Wright II

Fallon Vacker

Fintan Pyren

Gethen Ondsinn

Grady Ruewen

Greyfell

Iggy

Jurek

Councillor Kenric

Kesler Dizznee

Marty

Mr Forkle

Mr Snuggles

Mr Sweeney

Councillor Noland

Prentice Endal

Quan Song

Quinlin Sonden

Ruy Ignis

Sandor

Councillor Terik

Tiergan Alenefar

Timkin Heks

Trix

Watson

William Foster

Woltzer

Wraith

Yuri

When you finish your portraits, you can post them and tag me in them and/or message them directly to me! The choice is yours <3 as long as I get them sometime before or on Feb 9. If you think your submission might be late or you need to drop out, please message me as soon as possible!

RULES:

I dont care how big it is but please use a SQUARE canvas. This makes the posts a lot easier to format <3

Portrait is a broad term- you can draw however much of the man you want in whatever post you want, whether it be full body or just the head

It does not have to be entirely canon accurate! You can add your own hcs (ex. poc vackers), it just has to be identifiable as the character

Have fun!!!

[fintan-pyren]

You want to sign up. You want to draw a character portrait.

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

Alright, people who enjoy my rambles for some reason, i'm asking you today;

"What Would You All Like To See Me Post Because I Have No Clue What To Post" or "WWYALTSMPBIHNCWTP" for short.

For example if you want more of say, my weird lore drops, my interactions with the other rp-ers, weird memes I find or even more ooc stuff (idk if you guys would be into that but like it would probably just be me talking about my interests or smt) just like let me know through tags, comments, asks or posts (if you do want to make a post about this please do @ me though).

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

How many matchs are boys in Dex or Fitz’s lists?

Asking for a friend.

Which friend?

Ignore that actually I don't care that much.

Depends on what list you're asking about, because the first list they each got had most of the men we had that were willing to date other men and I think the ratio is something like 60% men for Dex and maybe 45% for Fitzroy.

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

also another very quick ooc post uuhhh thanks ig for nearly 130 follows wtf help

anyways would anyone be interested in me starting to post my art here or any of the lore details I have written out for my account oc

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

ok so quick ooc post

do we think making the intern's(?) birthday on feb the 14 is overkill or not

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

i wanna list

need parents to list

womp womp

[sparkles-make-anything-better]

hey guys. Drink water. Eat food. Take care of yourself. It’s ok if you need to take time for you.

[flasher-boi-endal]

what is 'food' and 'water'

[flasher-boi-endal]

GUYS who wants coffee? I have a full tray with 52 cups of solid black coffee, anyone want?

[julinekdizznee-off]

I really need some but please do not give any to my kids or sophie istg they need to sleep

[flasher-boi-endal]

They really do. Anyways I put 15 cups of coffee into a container that saw 'gasoline' on delivery. Enjoy the adrenaline

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

hi fellow flasher gimme coffee

[lustful-lullabies-blog]

[crescentpaws]

potential fintante dynamic (one of many) i drew at 3am last night???

apparently i couldn’t sleep until i projected my thoughts onto a digital canvas

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

accurate

[inkcapjester]

i need more baker fitz appreciation

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

have been to one or two of these

10 / 10 I could taste the suffering

[yiga-hellhole]

me when i have like 20 notifications in the span of five minutes and when i go check its just the same guy rapidfire liking and reblogging posts

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

Kotlc characters as things my friends said on a field trip

Sophie - i want to be near a garbage at all times

---------------------

Bronte - they want to see if they can in fact sniff corpses

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Dex - im scared of the colour red

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Tam - Keefe is here i can sense it

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Biana - where’s the mummy? there’s the mummy!

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Fitz - let’s go see the europeans so they can teach us about

Sophie - *whispering* communism

Fitz - colonization

---------------------

Dex - did you spill any of your state of america

---------------------

Dex - look swords for cutting and thrusting

Fitz - can i hit people with that

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Sophie - are you afraid of people in red pants….. in a wheelchair

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Keefe - speaking of living *sips state of america*

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Keefe - hey guys *sips state of america*

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Fitz - what the - how do you spell state of america

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Keefe - ohhh look there’s a man

Dex - i don’t think that’s a man that’s a female

Tam - yep that’s a girl

---------------------

Keefe - let’s go to the good place

Sophie - that’s a show

---------------------

Dex - i love perpendicular style

Keefe, Sophie and Tam - yeahhhyeahhyeahhhh

---------------------

Dex - i wish we could climb up on the counter

Fitz - yeah same

Linh - okay *starts climbing *

Dex and Fitz - nooonoooonoooo

---------------------

Dex - oh look a creature

Keefe - he’s my friend :)

@depressedraven9 contributed to a lot of these

also "state of america" is in reference to an Arizona green tea my friend was trying to hide from the staff and at one point put it in his pocket

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

alr elves of tumblr should I

help

try to educate other elves who are also on tumblr on same-sex relationships

or die

Voting ended onJun 13, 2024

[fintan-pyren]

What is your opinion on Counselor Bronte? (I keep wanting to call him Brontesaurus for some reason)

smash

(that feels like something Kenric would've called him—they'd be on an Important Councillor Mission together, maybe going to the Sanctuary to inspect the alicorn enclosure, and Bronte would be doing his best to act serious and dignified in front of the Sanctuary workers, but Kenric would throw his arm around his shoulders and call him Councillor Brontesaurus, and laugh as Jurek failed to suppress his snickers and Bronte glowered at them both)

(anyone else kinda miss Kenric?)

[bronte-the-inflictor]

I do. It’s all your fault, but I still love you. Just come back to me my little flame.

❤️🔥

[the-official-matchmaking-office]

sir he's committed multiple felonies