Pest Control, Bitches

Out to Get Rid Of The Roaches

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hehe it's 5 am and I drank so much black coffee I can see heaven and it is a warmly lit bed with stray boobs rolling around like rose petals

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

op what the fuck

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

...this is my own post.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

jesus fucking christ go to sleep

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

HAHAHA BITCH TRY AND MAKE ME I'M YOUR EXECUTIVE FUNCTION AND I LEFT YOU FOR A BETTER MAN

HE HAS ABS LIKE A TENDER CHICKEN'S BREAST AND THE EYES LIKE MOULDY PEBBLES SMOOTHENED BY THE WAVES OF TIME

SEE YOU NEVER YOU UNGRATEFUL SHIT JUST TRY AND FUNCTION WITHOUT ME OH WAIT YOU CANT

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

@saderplate7 YEAH BLOW UP LIKE THE POPPING BOBA I'LL MAKE FROM THE ROSE PETALS BOOBS

Ooooh would that be popping booba

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

[seldom-equivocate]

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

@ maggots WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

NO YOU CANT GO AWAY

[therizzedupcockroach]

I heard cockroach rizzing

[the-pest-control-is-here]

Spray spray bitches

[random-doctor-on-the-internet]

I'm french and like many people here, watched the ceremony out of pure spite. Was I surprised? No. Fucking annihilated.

It had EVERYTHING:

- Random kids carrying the flame

- Gays.

- French cancan't

- Furries

- Lady Gaga???

- Craftspeople and public workers

- Bloodshed, cannons and a metal band

- Masked genderless silhouette parkouring their way through the whole mess

- More gays

- Polyamory

- Non-binary dancers and actors

- POC dancers and actors

- Disabled dancers and actors

- Whatever the fuck was going on with those poles

- Lesbian kiss?

- France's most hated rapper singing a song written entirely in slang in front of THE FUCKING INSTITUTE DEDICATED TO THE FRENCH LANGUAGE?

- Her being accompanied by the National Guard orchestra.

- Gays. SO MANY gays.

- MINIONS???

- Hundreds of top quality instruments getting fucked up by the rain.

- Drag queens, opera dancers, fashion designers and...oh, yeah, Alsace.

- National icon Philippe Katherine but make it blue

- 100 years long horse ride

- Damn that armor's looking fine

- Giant balloon ascending to the sky and...just fucking staying there cause they had nowhere to put it

-Did I tell you about the gays?

Holy fuck.

I'm flabbergasted. I'm bamboozled. I'm lying dead on the ground, holding my last breath.

I mean yes, it was funny. Yes, it was strange. Yes, it gave France a super weird reputation.

BUT DO YOU REALISE THAT THE DESIGN COMMITTEE JUST SAW THE RISE OF OUR EXTREME CONSERVATIVE PARTY AND DECIDED TO THROW A MASSIVE "FUCK YOU" AT THEM???

I think I'm in love. Call me french in training.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

JDJWJDJQKWKAOQKW ange this is beautiful and might be the most inspiring thing I've ever seen (aside from your cheerleading video)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Would you rather we talk about the penis incident or the Norwegian swimmer's affair with a chocolate muffin or the chill Turkish zaddy silver medalist or perhaps the televised cockroach?

[therizzedupcockroach]

OH I KNOW ABOUT THE COCKROACH INCIDENT. THE GUY WAS TOLD HIS CAMERA WOULDN'T BE TELEVISED SO HE USED IT TO OBSERVE A NEARBY COCKROACH AND THEY ACCIDENTALLY SWITCH TO HIS CAMERA SO EVERYONE SAW A COCKROACH.

RIGHT? RIGHT?

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

AAAAA RIZZROACH

And yes of course you would know who was the roach a cousin of yours?

[therizzedupcockroach]

Very distant cousin of mine

[the-pest-control-is-here]

[therizzedupcockroach]

Damnit.

[the-pest-control-is-here]

begone ye and yer nasty buff cockroach cousin

[random-doctor-on-the-internet]

I'm french and like many people here, watched the ceremony out of pure spite. Was I surprised? No. Fucking annihilated.

It had EVERYTHING:

- Random kids carrying the flame

- Gays.

- French cancan't

- Furries

- Lady Gaga???

- Craftspeople and public workers

- Bloodshed, cannons and a metal band

- Masked genderless silhouette parkouring their way through the whole mess

- More gays

- Polyamory

- Non-binary dancers and actors

- POC dancers and actors

- Disabled dancers and actors

- Whatever the fuck was going on with those poles

- Lesbian kiss?

- France's most hated rapper singing a song written entirely in slang in front of THE FUCKING INSTITUTE DEDICATED TO THE FRENCH LANGUAGE?

- Her being accompanied by the National Guard orchestra.

- Gays. SO MANY gays.

- MINIONS???

- Hundreds of top quality instruments getting fucked up by the rain.

- Drag queens, opera dancers, fashion designers and...oh, yeah, Alsace.

- National icon Philippe Katherine but make it blue

- 100 years long horse ride

- Damn that armor's looking fine

- Giant balloon ascending to the sky and...just fucking staying there cause they had nowhere to put it

-Did I tell you about the gays?

Holy fuck.

I'm flabbergasted. I'm bamboozled. I'm lying dead on the ground, holding my last breath.

I mean yes, it was funny. Yes, it was strange. Yes, it gave France a super weird reputation.

BUT DO YOU REALISE THAT THE DESIGN COMMITTEE JUST SAW THE RISE OF OUR EXTREME CONSERVATIVE PARTY AND DECIDED TO THROW A MASSIVE "FUCK YOU" AT THEM???

I think I'm in love. Call me french in training.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

JDJWJDJQKWKAOQKW ange this is beautiful and might be the most inspiring thing I've ever seen (aside from your cheerleading video)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Would you rather we talk about the penis incident or the Norwegian swimmer's affair with a chocolate muffin or the chill Turkish zaddy silver medalist or perhaps the televised cockroach?

[therizzedupcockroach]

OH I KNOW ABOUT THE COCKROACH INCIDENT. THE GUY WAS TOLD HIS CAMERA WOULDN'T BE TELEVISED SO HE USED IT TO OBSERVE A NEARBY COCKROACH AND THEY ACCIDENTALLY SWITCH TO HIS CAMERA SO EVERYONE SAW A COCKROACH.

RIGHT? RIGHT?

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

AAAAA RIZZROACH

And yes of course you would know who was the roach a cousin of yours?

[robinprinceofchaos]

the roach was actually a talented and respected Olympian. so.

JUSTICE FOR OLYMPIC ROACH!! 🪳

[the-pest-control-is-here]

*sprays pesticide*

SPRAY SPRAY BITCHES

[robinprinceofchaos]

LOOK THE ROACH WON A MEDAL

[the-pest-control-is-here]

this is degeneration of society at its finest

save society call pest control

[random-doctor-on-the-internet]

I'm french and like many people here, watched the ceremony out of pure spite. Was I surprised? No. Fucking annihilated.

It had EVERYTHING:

- Random kids carrying the flame

- Gays.

- French cancan't

- Furries

- Lady Gaga???

- Craftspeople and public workers

- Bloodshed, cannons and a metal band

- Masked genderless silhouette parkouring their way through the whole mess

- More gays

- Polyamory

- Non-binary dancers and actors

- POC dancers and actors

- Disabled dancers and actors

- Whatever the fuck was going on with those poles

- Lesbian kiss?

- France's most hated rapper singing a song written entirely in slang in front of THE FUCKING INSTITUTE DEDICATED TO THE FRENCH LANGUAGE?

- Her being accompanied by the National Guard orchestra.

- Gays. SO MANY gays.

- MINIONS???

- Hundreds of top quality instruments getting fucked up by the rain.

- Drag queens, opera dancers, fashion designers and...oh, yeah, Alsace.

- National icon Philippe Katherine but make it blue

- 100 years long horse ride

- Damn that armor's looking fine

- Giant balloon ascending to the sky and...just fucking staying there cause they had nowhere to put it

-Did I tell you about the gays?

Holy fuck.

I'm flabbergasted. I'm bamboozled. I'm lying dead on the ground, holding my last breath.

I mean yes, it was funny. Yes, it was strange. Yes, it gave France a super weird reputation.

BUT DO YOU REALISE THAT THE DESIGN COMMITTEE JUST SAW THE RISE OF OUR EXTREME CONSERVATIVE PARTY AND DECIDED TO THROW A MASSIVE "FUCK YOU" AT THEM???

I think I'm in love. Call me french in training.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

JDJWJDJQKWKAOQKW ange this is beautiful and might be the most inspiring thing I've ever seen (aside from your cheerleading video)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Would you rather we talk about the penis incident or the Norwegian swimmer's affair with a chocolate muffin or the chill Turkish zaddy silver medalist or perhaps the televised cockroach?

[therizzedupcockroach]

OH I KNOW ABOUT THE COCKROACH INCIDENT. THE GUY WAS TOLD HIS CAMERA WOULDN'T BE TELEVISED SO HE USED IT TO OBSERVE A NEARBY COCKROACH AND THEY ACCIDENTALLY SWITCH TO HIS CAMERA SO EVERYONE SAW A COCKROACH.

RIGHT? RIGHT?

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

AAAAA RIZZROACH

And yes of course you would know who was the roach a cousin of yours?

[therizzedupcockroach]

Very distant cousin of mine

[the-pest-control-is-here]

[random-doctor-on-the-internet]

I'm french and like many people here, watched the ceremony out of pure spite. Was I surprised? No. Fucking annihilated.

It had EVERYTHING:

- Random kids carrying the flame

- Gays.

- French cancan't

- Furries

- Lady Gaga???

- Craftspeople and public workers

- Bloodshed, cannons and a metal band

- Masked genderless silhouette parkouring their way through the whole mess

- More gays

- Polyamory

- Non-binary dancers and actors

- POC dancers and actors

- Disabled dancers and actors

- Whatever the fuck was going on with those poles

- Lesbian kiss?

- France's most hated rapper singing a song written entirely in slang in front of THE FUCKING INSTITUTE DEDICATED TO THE FRENCH LANGUAGE?

- Her being accompanied by the National Guard orchestra.

- Gays. SO MANY gays.

- MINIONS???

- Hundreds of top quality instruments getting fucked up by the rain.

- Drag queens, opera dancers, fashion designers and...oh, yeah, Alsace.

- National icon Philippe Katherine but make it blue

- 100 years long horse ride

- Damn that armor's looking fine

- Giant balloon ascending to the sky and...just fucking staying there cause they had nowhere to put it

-Did I tell you about the gays?

Holy fuck.

I'm flabbergasted. I'm bamboozled. I'm lying dead on the ground, holding my last breath.

I mean yes, it was funny. Yes, it was strange. Yes, it gave France a super weird reputation.

BUT DO YOU REALISE THAT THE DESIGN COMMITTEE JUST SAW THE RISE OF OUR EXTREME CONSERVATIVE PARTY AND DECIDED TO THROW A MASSIVE "FUCK YOU" AT THEM???

I think I'm in love. Call me french in training.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

JDJWJDJQKWKAOQKW ange this is beautiful and might be the most inspiring thing I've ever seen (aside from your cheerleading video)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Would you rather we talk about the penis incident or the Norwegian swimmer's affair with a chocolate muffin or the chill Turkish zaddy silver medalist or perhaps the televised cockroach?

[therizzedupcockroach]

OH I KNOW ABOUT THE COCKROACH INCIDENT. THE GUY WAS TOLD HIS CAMERA WOULDN'T BE TELEVISED SO HE USED IT TO OBSERVE A NEARBY COCKROACH AND THEY ACCIDENTALLY SWITCH TO HIS CAMERA SO EVERYONE SAW A COCKROACH.

RIGHT? RIGHT?

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

AAAAA RIZZROACH

And yes of course you would know who was the roach a cousin of yours?

[robinprinceofchaos]

the roach was actually a talented and respected Olympian. so.

JUSTICE FOR OLYMPIC ROACH!! 🪳

[the-pest-control-is-here]

*sprays pesticide*

SPRAY SPRAY BITCHES

[therizzedupcockroach]

Countries are now on team roach. Meaning they can ban pest control.

Your days are numbered @the-pest-control-is-here

[the-pest-control-is-here]

The law does not define me.

[therizzedupcockroach]

HELP HELP RUN AWAY

[the-pest-control-is-here]

YOU CANNOT RUN THE SPRAY IS INEVITABLE

[therizzedupcockroach]

not when I crawl back into me hole. Buh by

[the-pest-control-is-here]

THERE AIN'T NO HOLE I CAN'T FIT IN BABYGORL

[therizzedupcockroach]

This is a callout post against @weirdly-specific-but-ok for rizzing up random cockroaches and almost destroying families

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I just fucking went to my kitchen for food and tumblr does this to me

[genuinely-germany]

idk what you expected when you told tumblr you rizzed up a cockroach

[non-tyrannical-usa]

bro does not know [tumblr]

[therizzedupcockroach]

Countries on team roach?

[non-tyrannical-usa]

yeah sure why not

[the-principality-of-sealand]

Team roach. 🗣️

[the-pest-control-is-here]

A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY! WE FIGHT THE GOVERNMENT! SPRAY SPRAY BITCH

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS LIFE JOURNEY HAS LED ME.

[theverycoolfish]

WHAT HAPPENED WITH A COCKROACH

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Uh so I may have. Um. There was a cockroach and it. Well.

OKAY WHO HAS THE COCKROACH POST I REFUSE TO SEARCH FOR IT

@therizzedupcockroach help me out here you little shit

[random-doctor-on-the-internet]

This is the twelfth time I see this post on my dash today. Good job everyone, keep ruining this man's reputation

[the-pest-control-is-here]

The roaches will be eroded and so will every last human who stood with them. PEST CONTROL IS HERE!

[therizzedupcockroach]

This is a callout post against @weirdly-specific-but-ok for rizzing up random cockroaches and almost destroying families

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I just fucking went to my kitchen for food and tumblr does this to me

[genuinely-germany]

idk what you expected when you told tumblr you rizzed up a cockroach

[non-tyrannical-usa]

bro does not know [tumblr]

[therizzedupcockroach]

Countries on team roach?

[non-tyrannical-usa]

yeah sure why not

[the-principality-of-sealand]

Team roach. 🗣️

[the-pest-control-is-here]

A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY! WE FIGHT THE GOVERNMENT! SPRAY SPRAY BITCH

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS LIFE JOURNEY HAS LED ME.

[coppicegate]

DIDN'T YOU CALL PEST CONTROL ASMI

[its-a-me-asmi]

@the-pest-control-is-here IS THE LAST LINE OF DEFENCE

[coppicegate]

NO WAY

I'd let this fight carry out if it was just you vs the roaches but

SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE ABOUT THE COUNTRIES

[non-tyrannical-usa]

I HAVE EXPLOSIVES AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM

[coppicegate]

NON TYRANNICAL MY FOOT

[non-tyrannical-usa]

COPPICE DEEZ NUTS

[coppicegate]

COCONUTS?

[non-tyrannical-usa]

you know what, sure.

[the-pest-control-is-here]

what the fuck

WHY'S EVERYONE SO INVESTED IN THE ROACHES ANYWAY

USA YOU AND I THINK THE SAME ABOUT CHEMICAL WARFARE I AM SURE.

[therizzedupcockroach]

This is a callout post against @weirdly-specific-but-ok for rizzing up random cockroaches and almost destroying families

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I just fucking went to my kitchen for food and tumblr does this to me

[genuinely-germany]

idk what you expected when you told tumblr you rizzed up a cockroach

[non-tyrannical-usa]

bro does not know [tumblr]

[therizzedupcockroach]

Countries on team roach?

[non-tyrannical-usa]

yeah sure why not

[the-principality-of-sealand]

Team roach. 🗣️

[the-pest-control-is-here]

A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY! WE FIGHT THE GOVERNMENT! SPRAY SPRAY BITCH

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS LIFE JOURNEY HAS LED ME.

[girlbossguwahati]

GUWAHATI FOR COCKROACHES CMERE PEST CONTROL LEMME AT YA

[the-pest-control-is-here]

WE DEFEND THE LEGACY OF MANKIND USING MINOR CHEMICAL WARFARE AGAINST ROACHES JUST YOU TRY COMING FOR US

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

OFFICIAL GOOD OMENS MASCOT HERE. TODAY HAS NOT BEEN A GOOD DAY FOR MY LEGACY. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST. RETIRE.

@wispedvellichor @spookydazechaos THIS IS ON YOU.

[wispedvellichor]

i did nothing, im innocent see

this is literally me

im just making points and asking questions, am i so wrong for that?

im just shining light on things

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

shut the FUCK up dont bring angel baby crowley into this i'm going to skin your ballsacks and feed them to your liver

[cockroaches-against-furries]

can i get the ballsacks instead? i have a family to feed now, you know

[sadcheatedoncockroach]

Yes please the ballsacks would be perfect sustenance for our STARVING children.

Don’t starve the children Asmi.

Why would you even think about doing that?

You wouldn’t.

Give us the ballsacks.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

create a community they said it'll be fun they said

[robinprinceofchaos]

the maggots love you

and so do the cockroaches

[the-pest-control-is-here]

PEST CONTROL IS COMING WE KNOW YOUR SINS AND WE ARE HERE TO EXORCISE YOUR MORTAL FLESH FROM THIS RELENTLESS COIL

[therizzedupcockroach]

Countries are now on team roach. Meaning they can ban pest control.

Your days are numbered @the-pest-control-is-here

[the-pest-control-is-here]

The law does not define me.

[therizzedupcockroach]

HELP HELP RUN AWAY

[the-pest-control-is-here]

YOU CANNOT RUN THE SPRAY IS INEVITABLE

[therizzedupcockroach]

This is a callout post against @weirdly-specific-but-ok for rizzing up random cockroaches and almost destroying families

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I just fucking went to my kitchen for food and tumblr does this to me

[genuinely-germany]

idk what you expected when you told tumblr you rizzed up a cockroach

[non-tyrannical-usa]

bro does not know [tumblr]

[therizzedupcockroach]

Countries on team roach?

[non-tyrannical-usa]

yeah sure why not

[the-principality-of-sealand]

Team roach. 🗣️

[the-pest-control-is-here]

A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY! WE FIGHT THE GOVERNMENT! SPRAY SPRAY BITCH

[therizzedupcockroach]

Countries are now on team roach. Meaning they can ban pest control.

Your days are numbered @the-pest-control-is-here

[the-pest-control-is-here]

The law does not define me.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

following you is such a raw, strange experience

I'm just a Normal Dude :)

[im-a-sentient-magic-carpet]

aaaaaand he’s right behind me isn’t he

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

boo.

[therizzedupcockroach]

You should also look behind you.

[the-pest-control-is-here]

*SPRAY SPRAY*

[sadcheatedoncockroach]

@weirdly-specific-but-ok

is cockroaches are taking a break to nap inside our sequin crowley pillow

you are safe from our terrorising for now

[the-pest-control-is-here]

BUT YOU ARE NOT SAFE FROM PEST CONTROL.

[therizzedupcockroach]

Rizzroach for president 2024 my campaign will contain useful things for you humans.

[sadcheatedoncockroach]

vote for my marriage partner!

[the-pest-control-is-here]

guess i'm about to commit some assassinations *pulls up with spray can and spite*

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

*trying desperately to ignore the notifs from the cockroach rizzing post* HI MAGGOTS THE HORRORS PERSIST AND UH SO DO I FUCK IT WE BALL ASSORTED TUMBLR MOTIVATION IDK.

So I need to clean my room and I have decided on a brainrotted reward system for myself, because otherwise I will never clean my room and then the Horrors will move in permanently.

If I put my clothes away into the wardrobe rather than three piles on the floor, I will make an incorrect DBDA text post with maggot quotes.

If I move stuff off my desk so that I can shift it, I will illustrate one scene from the Good Omens book, idk which, tell me if you have any ideas.

If I actually shift my desk and remove the good omens art from the wall so that I can get the IKEA Skadis thing put up, I will make a video of Aziraphale doing the Final Fifteen but as a stereotypical Valley Girl.

As for after that, uh, let's see if we get that far.

Bildad help me in these endeavours I SHALL BEGIN. THIS IS JUST HERE FOR ACCOUNTABILITY PURPOSES DON'T WORRY.

[genuinely-germany]

The what rizzing post

[befuddledvampire]

hello there Germany, recently asmi rizzed a cockroach in his kitchen.

you can find most of the story from these sideblogs:

@therizzedupcockroach @sadcheatedoncockroach @cockroaches-against-furries

its a long story good luck friend

[genuinely-germany]

COCKROACHES AGAINST FURRIES?!

[cockroaches-against-furries]

YOU CALLED??

WOULD YOU LIKE US TO CLEANSE GERMANY OF THE ROACH RIZZERS

[the-pest-control-is-here]

HERE TO CLEANSE GERMANY OF THE ROACHES