I exist.

(I lied. I don't) ⭐ ← my gold star got stoled :( edit: @hyperfractallisation gave me TWO (2) counterfeit gold stars!! Here they are (life is good) → ⭐⭐ investigation into this crime is ongoing (she/her, though would prefer to be an unobservable entity floating through tumblr if anything, minor)

[sunshinetrinket]

we've all got that one mutual stuck in the eternal torture labyrinth

[seldom-equivocate]

immortalizing these tags by @kianf1sh

[the-technicolor-whiscash]

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

[whumpster-fire]

Now in handy infographic form for Tumblr users:

[bransonreese]

[notcaycepollard]

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

[asomebunny]

making lists is so important to me like yesssss girl let's break a large concept into manageable pieces

[free-and-to-none-accountable]

[grenadineghost]

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

[alhyastarain]

you want to be mommy's weird potato, don't you, Brian? you want to skip and somersault like a good jester

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[atomikats]

curiouser and curiouser

[nebulations]

[ID: A Project Hail Mary comic titled "After the Explosion". Grace and Stratt stand together, and Stratt lights a cigarette and says, "Dr. Grace, please ensure I am not bothered." Grace: "Yeah OK--" Stratt: "I am allotting myself 3 minutes to mourn." Grace asks with surprised suspicion, "Wait. 3 minutes?" Stratt: "Yes."

Grace: "Last time we lost someone you only asked for 1." Stratt: "Yes. I allow myself 1 minute per significant loss." Grace: "Oh okay." He frowns, then starts counting off on his fingers: "DuBois... Shapiro..." He turns to Stratt, who's turning away, and asks, "Wait a second, who's the third?" Stratt walks away, and Grace repeats concernedly, "Stratt? Who's the third??" Stratt thinks to herself while smoking, "Can't believe I gotta kill this guy." End ID]

[helpimstuckinafandom]

I'M FUCKING CRYING LMAOOO

[the-perfect-wagnerite-again]

This post nearly got me ostracized by two of my swiftie friends and I don't think a third will ever look at me the same again lmaooooo

[servetolive]

[dogpuppy]

[inkskinned]

oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too. 

one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.

[lunamonchtuna]

— Mikko Harvey, from For M (via lunamonchtuna)

[arowitharrows]

Shout-out to aromantic people whose lives are so fucking busy that they periodically forget what day of the week it is. today is Wednesday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.

[arowitharrows]

Today is Thursday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.

[arowitharrows]

It's June 5th again!

[mousegirlheart]

ridiculous fucking thing

[redstonedust]

fuck, marry, friends, kill. something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

kill something old, friends something new (we must keep moving), fuck something borrowed (cuckoldry), marry something blue (marge)

[lesbianeo]

mutuals, you can pick me up to put me in your inventory

[oneheadtoanother]

[ripplespate]

I don't have ms paint but just pretend it is bc no one knows paintbrush for mac but i can assure you it was just as hellish if not worse since theres technically no brushes other than a pixel round brush and the worst looking freaking spray paint

[unsound-satyr]

SCROLL BACK!!

IT'S A PAINTING!!!