Elementary My Dear Mutual

She/they

[novahazard24]

get your medals everyone

[coralcommanderva]

Being aromantic and simply not understanding romance makes most movies suck

[ziracona]

Nolan’s Odyssey:

Cut 2 of the most famous adventures for 6 minutes of fleeing the giants

Cut the Nobody scene entirely

De-hottied Circe and made her overly-emotional and reactive and falsely accuse the men of being rape threats. No nymphs or magic besides the soup.

Had the Trojan horse portrayed as a war crime so bad it ended society and was deeeefinitely the worst and most dishonorable thing done in the Trojan war (cut the rapes from the sacking of Troy while still trying to make it a symbol of lost society so they just stab a lot of women and wax esoteric??)

Slander Menelaus and Helen. :’-] he did not drag her back as his slave queen they’re literally one of like 2 endgame-still-ok Greek couples. (Speaking of weird changes in the family, they keep Agamemnon killing his daughter, but totally leave out what he did to Cassandra)

Odysseus actively doesn’t want to get home to Penelope and Telemachus

Mentor is just some guy 100% of the time instead of usually Athena.

Odysseus is neither a wife guy nor sufferer of hubris (that is not my beautiful king that is not my beautiful general)

The gods just aren’t there. They de-god Calypso and also sort of do the lotus eaters as just her (but not. It’s bad). Hermes? Gone. Poseidon? Poseidon who. Zeus? Helios? Nah. Athena? You think so but no, that’s just Odysseus and his PTSD talking to himself.

The gods aren’t there but one of the messages is to give yourself up to God’s control and to let go of trying to carve your own path? Which Odysseus does??? Confusing and off target. 0s across the board.

They cut all the humor. No naked Odysseus. Not a laugh was had.

Odysseus won’t let Telemachus help him fight the suitors bc ‘you’d be exiled’ and then runs away with Penelope at the end instead of the remotely normal ending to the book. Why? I don’t know

I can’t tell you what it’s about bc even though it was 3 hours every scene felt like the sparks notes version, but my best guess is ‘it’s ok if society collapses bc it will rise again’???

Shot like someone who didn’t go to film school made it. Scene 1 Nolan was cutting to people every time they spoke I was dying. No audio off-camera so cringe. Also insane camera movements like did we need a push in for the 0.5 second cut to a servant listening in? Was that 0.5 seconds not gripping enough? Really??? Dude what are you doing

Why was Tiresias moving like a worm in the sand

The hunting dog got more screen time and character arc than Calypso

Every woman was handled badly. Every single one. Actually Clytemnestra was fine she was there for like 15 seconds but they were ok. Otherwise though just badly handled every single time and in gods’s bizarrest ways (what if Telemachus and Penelope fought over which one of them was good for the throne. What if Calypso wasn’t holding Odysseus hostage or sacrificing her eternal happiness by letting him go. What if Circe was a crazy emotional middle aged woman who sees all men as rapists and turns them into pigs for no reason but she’s neurotic)

seriously it’s so weird to get back to Ithica without seeing Hermes, Athena, or Poseidon once — but they’re not plot relevant, right?

Odysseus is personally responsible for the fall of Greek civilization bc of the Trojan horse trick. He basically nuked civilization. (Yes all of it bc that’s the only civilization at this time. What do you mean no it’s not that’s crazy I mean I’m p sure it’s just Greece)

Cut the whole ‘only my husband would know that’ thing with Penelope and the wedding bed

Stole the exact amount of one of Jorge’s songs you legally can

Didn’t let Odysseus go full feral in the finale

Not a Greek in sight in the main cast. Just lots of Americans and other Europeans. Really bad costume design too. And set design.

Literally start ‘the Odyssey’ with Odysseus home in Ithaca already. 98% is a flashback. First version of the Odyssey ever both thematically and literally not about going home

Anyway it was dogshit don’t go see it

[closet-keys]

as a teen, i was constantly harassed by adults enforcing ''dress codes'' on me. I very much experienced this as sexual harassment. I think this is one of many cases where people would more easily understand this as sexual harassment if I described it as if it happened to an adult.

imagine being on your lunch break, and your supervisor comes over to your table, tells you to stand up in front of everyone. they draw everyone's attention to your thighs. they tell you that you have broken the dress code because of the length of your shorts. they tell you to go change (so you do not get the rest of your lunch break). they do this every single day at lunch. every day. so you read the whole dress code front and back, and you choose your clothing carefully to not break it. you bring a cloth tape measure with you to work because they will not believe you. this time when your supervisor tells you that you're breaking dress code, you pull out your tape measure and show that you are within the limit. your supervisor says "I bet you wouldn't want me to bring you to the boss and let him measure it, would you?" it's clearly a threat: if you don't obey then you will be put alone in a room with your boss and he will touch your thighs. you don't know how to respond. you're taken out of lunch again.

this was my experience at school. replace supervisor with "teacher" and boss with "principal." this was sexual harassment. fuck dress codes.

[my-autism-feeds-on-robins]

As a white queer, some of you other white queers need to unlearn your racism. No, trans women are not the black people of the trans community. Black trans people are the black people of the trans community. PLEASE. Unlearn your racism.

[my-autism-feeds-on-robins]

this is officially the 1,111 note in this post!! Keep reblogging! Keep liking! Because I didn’t think it would go so well but if it is it might as well get to as many people as I can!

[dangerous-crow-boy]

An orange juice a day will make you orange

[mossy-muncher]

What if I ate plastic every day

[dangerous-crow-boy]

You would likely experience digestive upset on account of your presumed human digestive system. I am open to being wrong on this though, because I am uniquely open-minded

[theverycoolfish]

@thepumpkinofpower

[tricktster]

I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?

[tricktster]

it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction I was looking for.

so my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I had a lot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didn’t fit with the aesthetic. I had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.

this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, you’d expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - I’m all for most classic rock, but that wasn’t what the show was supposed to be.

And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just didn’t fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason I kept the show going. Per station rules, I had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before I cut to one I was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listener’s request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, I decided to do a goof. I said:

“and finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.”

I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, I had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.

And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!

they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call. I had never understood why some people would enjoy trolling random strangers on the internet before, but in that moment, I understood the appeal entirely.

obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen David Bowie.

the phone immediately began to ring.

“ARE YOU AN IDIOT?” one of the callers began, “DAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!”

“I thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?” I replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure.

I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start.

And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born.

[tricktster]

@eduards-stuff I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format I started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.

My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what I was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. I only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while I got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:

me: hi there, you’ve got TST-

him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter*

me: hey, is everything o-

him: pfffHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM!

me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.

[pea-detector]

[glorious-spoon]

it's always really funny to read reviews of the murderbot books that are like 'we eventually learn that the secunit is not a mindless automaton after all but a person, who hacked the module that controls its behavior and just wants to watch its tv shows in peace' as if that isn't literally the first thing we learn about it. like, the first sentence:

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

wow talk about a banger opening paragraph

[auroraboringaliceinwonderland]

ID: Chapter One:

I have become a mass murderer after I hacked my government module, but then I realized I could access the combined feed of entertainment channels carried on by the company satellites. It had been well over 35,000 hours or so since then, with still not much murdering, but probably, I don’t know, a little under 35,000 hours of movies, serials, books, plays, and music consumed. As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure. End ID.

[mustfindcreativeusername]

"COULD HAVE", IT SAYS "I COULD HAVE"!

[theangelshavethephonebox]

I think we need to start discussing the Master being a drag performance as a fandom more

[clowns0cks]

YES YES YES you get it !!!!!! "The Master" to them is like a drag persona. Someone that puts on a performance. Every plan is perfectly organised. They choose the outfit, the entrance, the speech, even the music sometimes !!! Being a villain is not just something they are, it's something they work for. They need to perform the villain role. Not saying the master is not incredibly evil, but they do wear evilness like a costume, exaggerating it to the extreme. They even do double drag sometimes, wearing another persona until !!! It's time for the show!!! And they get to do a little twist and reveal The Master !!! The keywords here are always exaggeration and performance. They do love performing. And they love being evil. So what's better than making up a character to play that is pure evilness ???? Their cartoon villain behaviour is not !!! naivety or stupidity. It's something wanted. It's something they do on purpose. It's their show time !!!!

[myfairynuffstuff]

Erika Toliusis (b.1969) - Pacific Angel. 2022. Oil with palette knife on canvas.

[sunshinetheinspiration]

@teaboot

[teaboot]

Painted with a FUCKING PALETTE KNIFE?

[hellenhighwater]

I forgot to eat dinner so I'm having 11 pm corn on the cob. This counts as a meal

... It's possible that I really need to do some grocery shopping

[hellenhighwater]

Okay for those of you living in pitiful ignorance, take a raw ear of corn with the husk on and cut all the way around the base (as pictured: above the point where the husk meets the cob, so that the entire husk is severed but still wrapped around the corn. Do not cut through the cob.) Then, with the husk still on, microwave it for 5-7 minutes. It'll basically steam it inside the husk. Remove from microwave --it will be hot, so use a mitt or a towel--and firmly pull the top of the husk/silk, which should come off easily in one piece, unsheathing a flawless corn on the cob. If it doesn't, you probably need to cut a little higher around the base, so all the leaves are severed. No picking off silk!

[hellenhighwater]

For the nonbelievers (and for me, a second corn)

[hellenhighwater]

This website works so well

[thisisexorsexism]

"90% of non binary people are just cis white women wanting to be special and oppressed"

"It's good that non binary people are lumped in with women or the general trans community because then they're forced to decide if they're really trans or just attention seeking"

"People who don't go on hormones and/or have surgeries aren't trans, even if they do other things like bind"

And the kicker-

"We should normalise physically bullying people who use they/them"

All lines spoken by my binary trans friend to me (closeted, afab) at a *pride event*

this is exorsexism

[tsunflowers]

I’m reading this book about the changing arctic and the author stayed with the Nunamiut people of inland alaska for a while and talked to this high school kid who was like “ugh I hate going to school in the spring I wish I was hunting caribou” and I thought that was charming. you often hear about people who are devoted to preserving their traditional culture and knowledge but it’s rare to hear about someone who’s invested in the old ways out of pure teenage selfishness. school is lame and hunting caribou is awesome

[depsidase]

[filyahehh]

smartest cat ever!

[creekfiend]

just kidding I'll say it straight up

if you're telling long COVID sufferers they're being conspiracy theorists for talking about the intentional ignoring and downplaying of COVID now, you'd have said the same thing six years into the AIDS epidemic.

enough is fucking enough.

[odd060]

Still lowkey shaking btw. Woah

[odd060]

Not the fucking Mature label lmaoo😭 it’s a fucking painting grow up omg