Here it is; the infamous Love Beach essay.
This has been discussed for ages since it was released, and maybe it will stay talked about as time progresses. What’s being discussed, you ask? Well, the question, the main question, is “Is Love Beach good?”. The majority claims it’s bad, terrible even. Carl Palmer, drummer of the band Emerson, Lake & Palmer, could tell you it’s bad. But really, is it that bad? No, no it’s not! But of course, that’s simply my opinion. Personally, I think it’s as good as any other ELP album. It’s personally my second favourite, right after Trilogy. I am capable of understanding why it’s widely disliked, though.
After the boys’ Works tour, they decided to call it quits. And geez, that was a ten-month tour.They wanted a break from ELP. That’s an understandable decision, as they released four albums almost back to back, followed by two more in the same year. And of course, there were personal issues in the band, but really, is that any of my concern? It really isn’t. I had various first impressions of this album. I asked questions to no one in particular. What is this? Why did this happen? I thought it was a silly little album. Then a while later, on February 1st of 2021, I saw it. I was on a day trip out of my town and, if you know me, you know I like collecting records. So we stopped at a record store and that was the day I picked up my first Emerson, Lake & Palmer vinyl: Love Beach. That wasn’t all I bought, of course, but I like to believe I struck gold with that one, especially since I bought it for $6.
Now back to the album itself, yes? It starts off with Greg Lake commanding us to sweep the blues outside. He’s on his way to meet up with and love you. You’re all the man wants anymore. This track, “All I Want Is You”, is our opening track and is the shortest song on the album, clocking it at 2 minutes and 35 seconds. Track 2 is the title track “Love Beach”. To no one’s surprise, it’s another silly love song. He wants to screw you on the beach. And I don’t care what you say, this song is amazing. I’d say it’s my second favourite. Track 3 is where it happens to get even more spicy. This is “Taste of My Love.” Greg is horny. Well, he’s hornier than before. He’s lonely and oh, he wants company all right. ‘Ya want a taste of his love? Well you’re gonna get it. Pleasure, pain, it’s driving him insane. The rocket and the stallion he mentioned are probably… yeah. It’s been a good four decades and I, for one, don’t know what he means. Greg, who eats dessert first? Seriously?! Okay, I’m done talking about this song, the next up is “The Gambler.” This song’s about gambling. ‘Ain’t that interesting to me. This is one of the more forgettable songs on the album, to me, because I’ve never gone out of my way to listen to it. And yes, that means I do willingly listen to some of these on my own.
Track 5 is “For You.” This song, my favourite off the album, seems to be more somber than the rest. Why, he asks you, why did you do that to him? Why would you break his heart? It progressively gets louder, becoming upbeat right at the end. Canario is an instrumental from Fantasia para un Gentilhombre. This is another unforgettable song for me. I’ve noticed that there’s quite a few reworked songs in the ELP catalog, an example being Hoedown. Anyways, the final track, taking up the entirety of side B is the one and only “Memoirs of an Officer and a Gentleman.” This is a four-part epic that takes up an entire side, like Rush’s “2112” or, of course, Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s “Tarkus.” Parts 1-3 hold a story of romance, the lyrics to it grossing Keith Emerson out. Part 4 of the epic, “Honourable Company (A March)”, is an instrumental. It’s no Tarkus or Karn Evil 9, but I can still appreciate it.
I think what pushes people away from this album would be both the title and the album cover. As I’ve mentioned in the past, a progressive rock band going from a name like “Brain Salad Surgery” to “Love Beach”? Nuts. Keith despised that title but the label refused to change it. Have you seen the photoshoots for this album? They’re rather corny. You know… with them on the beach, their open shirts, hairy chests, smug expressions… I don’t think that appeals to a grand audience, like the public music consumers, but it is what Atlantic Records wanted. The name, the songs, the cover; it’s all got a strong sex appeal. Personally, I would give this album a 9/10. If it weren’t for the silliness, though that silliness covers sadness, it would be a straight 10 for me. Love Beach turned me bisexual. Yes, it’s a good album.
There you have it. I lied about the bisexual part.
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