Kris Jenner

Best Momager. ACAB BLM. Supreme Ruler

[super-lazer-piss]

When you're driving home at night and you meet a Ford F-150 on the road

[the-real-krisjenner]

Hope Caitlyn isn’t behind the wheel.

[nohoperadio]

Scooby-Doo is a dog who can talk, which is amazing, and he largely uses his powers of speech to communicate how scared he is of ghosts and monsters, and basically the only thing his owners do is drive him around the country putting him inside various haunted houses and such. I wish I could take Scooby-Doo aside, I want to say to him, these people are not your friends.

[mommui]

Omg Nami are you blind

[the-real-krisjenner]

My grand kids told be about this show called one piece I love all the fan art for it. Maybe I can be in the Netflix live action version.

[the-real-krisjenner]

Dear god I never thought I’d find my phone again. I tore my house apart trying to find it. It was in Kim’s ass AGAIN.

[the-real-krisjenner]

@therealye can I bum a cigarette?

[the-real-krisjenner]

Now Ye has me as he profile photo on the gram, I will have my lawyers on this.

[the-real-krisjenner]

I make one post about wanting a manscaped brand deal and now all my ads are of their ball trimmers. This is hateful, my lawyers will be in touch.

[the-real-krisjenner]

I need a deal with manscaped, I mean the gays love me and they also love to scape they hair down there.

[the-real-krisjenner]

If you #krissed anyone you will be hearing from my legal team, it’s just Kim but she’s mean.

[billciipher]

Click on it twice. These are your two super powers.

[joyceanfartboner-deactivated202]

everyone else always seems to fucking get cool shit and i always get like “gel manipulation” and “using dust along w/ your fighting style”

[vrumblr]

Vampire immunity and pain embodiment.

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Animancy and Supernatural Immunity.  That actually sounds pretty cool.

[loth-catgirl]

Treasure Detection and Astral Bridging funk yes

[finndeservesbetter]

Alien Bludgeon Construction and Yellow Lightning Manipulation

[cuteasamuntin]

Spark Constructs and Holiday Manipulation

[the-real-krisjenner]

Demonic Power Negation and Coral Beam Emission. I can’t decide to use my powers for good or evil

[the-real-krisjenner]

My phone has been in @therealye ‘s ass sorry about that. I’m back to be the best momager.

[the-real-krisjenner]

E! canceled my show so I can cancel Donald Trumps life support.

[the-real-krisjenner]

Have I said Trans rights before? Because that's a valid topic that needs attention.

[the-real-krisjenner]

If anyone ever dms me with a follow for follow message they will get a lawsuit that day.

[voidpluto]

Stfu u dirk and vriska kinnies let me live

[voidpluto]

“I’m only a bit of a vriska kinnie” that only solidifies my statement hoe

[cinnasnackz]

i’m not a dork kinnie he’s just hot and probably edgy

[the-real-krisjenner]

Why Homestuck on my dash? My lawyers will be involved!

[jamieleeofficial]

God works hard but Kim petras stans work harder

[the-real-krisjenner]

No one works harder than me.

[jamieleeofficial]

e cancelled your show kris, sit down

[the-real-krisjenner]

I canceled my own show, if you followed my blog you'd know why Activia lady

[jamieleeofficial]

we all know e let you tell everyone that so we didnt know how bad the ratings were ma’am

[the-real-krisjenner]

Can't you go successfully kill Michael Myers or something

[jamieleeofficial]

who wants to fight?

[the-real-rupaul]

Bitch, I will fuck you up.

[jamieleeofficial]

I doubt that… I have no oil for you to exploit

[the-real-rupaul]

Ooooh, that’s it! I’m comin’ for you, now.

[the-real-krisjenner]

Whatr you gonna do Ru? Throw a wig? Bring up some childhood trauma?