Drow Half Elf | 31 years old
Thief & Great Old One Warlock
cis man | he/him
Deet—a thief specializing in acquiring strange and powerful items for the highest bidder—is planning to retire when one last job lands him and Kammon, his partner-in-all-things, in the grips of an ancient aboleth, calling itself Ithaamar.
Ithaamar manipulates Deet into a warlock pact and takes Kammon as its servitor. Disturbed by the recent increase in mindflayer activity, Ithaamar sends Deet out to investigate.
Unfortunately, the powers it has granted him aren't enough to protect Deet from abduction and implantation with a mindflayer tadpole.
There's also #answered asks if you want to see all answered asks at once!
AU Deet | The Beloved of the Mother of Monsters, The Envoy
@wild-surge / @utrennyaya's Valeria, Kind Shadow, is the love of Spooky Deet's life. One is a minor death deity, doomed to repeat the same cycle again and again, and the other is an undead thrall of an exiled archfey—the sparks that fly between them reignite the fire of life in them both.
Their journey together is full of chaos and passion and a little crude humor and seeds a growing bond that will survive the sting betrayal and centuries apart. At the end of that tether, Val and Deet at last find a home in each other.
Valeria's whole story can be found at @wild-surge💜💜
Sometimes, I wonder. How different my life would be, if someone else stared back at me whenever I looked into a mirror.
Val is somewhat aware that she can, objectively, be called pretty. But being aware mean jackshit when the person that should be closest to you dedicates most of your life to putting you down and refusing to acknowledge you as her own flesh and blood. It does dig a deep hole in your mind - one that it's difficult to crawl out.
Where it anyone else wearing her face, I'm pretty sure she'd consider them beautiful.
But when presented with a mirror, it's difficult not to see things that Mother considered monstrous;
hands that are just a bit too big in comparison to a skinny body turn into monstrous claws with sharp talons, the lively purple fires in her eyes make her think of predators stalking you in the night; inhuman and terrifying. Hair that needs some brushing (and maybe some oil) looks like coarse strands one would find on some beast. Horns that never fully recovered from being cut down so many times looking now like gnarly roots of a dead tree. Skin in the color of hematite making her stand out even among tieflings, just another reminder how *wrong* she is.
How she doesn't belong anywhere.
And honestly one of the sadder things about this is that, on face value, people would disregard her behaviour as vain or fishing for attention while the self-loathing is so deeply rooted that she genuinely stays away from mirrors.
Because she does not want to see the reminder of why her childhood suddenly changed; why her dad started disappearing at months at a time, why the household quieted whenever she entered a room.
Why the hateful comments started.
Mother never accepted her magic in the first place, to have her child grow horns and a tail; to have to deal with the implications that their bloodline was tainted.
Val is never sure how her life would look were the circumstances different; there's too many variables. Would she have her magic still or was it connected to her ancestry? Would she still be kept away from people or allowed to interact with other children? Would she meet Moira and Annun?
Would they befriend her or treat her as a spoiled kid from Upper City?
Would she be able to make her own life, or still be locked into a different cage - one of expectations and customs forced upon her by the society?
But sometimes, sometimes she feels like losing her current life - having it never exist in the first place - would be worth it, if it meant her father would stay.
To wish to be erased from existence on the off chance the little girl still inside her may have a better chance at life, at love.
At knowing how to and being able to have her own family.
@utrennyaya has been practicing posing in blender (she's gonna make and release a pose pack one of these days!!) and i've been getting to test them with Val and Spooky Deet, what a day~ 💜💚
i use bisexual and pansexual pretty much interchangeably, mostly because:
imo there's really not a definable difference between them and when people say the difference is that pansexuality includes trans people and bisexuality doesn't i see red. bisexuality has always, always included trans people, both binary and nonbinary, and to say otherwise is a biphobic argument that also hurts bi trans people (like me). i believe the difference is up to whichever label an individual person prefers more than anything.
as a result of this, i could identify as pan if i wanted to but i'm bi because i had just never heard of pansexuality when i was a teenager questioning my sexuality. it wasn't as common or well-known of a label it is now. also, purple is my favorite color and i like the bi flag better.
anyway, i call karlach and astarion pan because that's how their voice actors have referred to them but i like to call gale bi because he's purple 💜 and i like that when he's in his signature purple and elenion is in his signature blue their color schemes make up 2/3rds of the bi flag.
Malathass Extaminos
yuan-ti psionicist, botanist. and alchemist
Malathass faked their death and walked away from the only home they ever knew to free themself from familial expectations and live their life how they choose; they have been scratching out a living in the seedy port city of Scornubel ever since.
They'll be the first to complain loudly of the indignities of commoner life but, in truth, Mal is tremendously proud of the living they have made in the years since their escape.
In 1478 DR, Malathass hires Deet to help with an expedition to find the silver ioun stone (on their boss' behalf); they introduce a young Deet to a new application of his skills, his first love, and his first betrayal.
damn, i was supposed to be taking a break from vp and blender ^^'''
It's always a topic I feel weird talking about - especially on tumblr tbh - but given it's Pride Month I guess I can ramble a bit on that.
Val is demisexual and demiromantic - or whatever the term may now be for it, honestly sometimes its hard to follow and back when I first recognized that I wasn't 'weird' and that there were people like me, the most common description was grey asexual and 'demi' wasn't talked about. But yeah. There is a lot about her that comes to light as figure out myself still, after all these years.
She really thought, for years, she was more broken than even her Mother said she was - and learning about 'romance' and sex from cheap steamy novels that she's read at an age where she should have been running around with other kids and not being stuck in a quiet house with seemingly everybody present hating her? It did not help a young mind to understand things about herself.
Traveling with Moira and Annun, as much as she loved her friends, seemed like another nail in the coffin; seeing them grow closer and fall in love, walking in on them way too many times while never experiencing a sliver of what the red headed half-elf was talking about.
This is why I think her romance with the Emperor works so well; no matter what your stance on him is (and whether he manipulated the PC or was genuine), if the tav/durge is understanding and trusting him, the characters do grow closer and the PC does learn things about Emps that no other tadfool does.
And the way I see it, Valeria talked with him a lot, both prior to and after the revelation and while she was initially terrified of him, after the emotions died down understanding hit her like a warhammer - she was more hurt about him not trusting her enough to reveal himself, rather than him lying to her. Because at that point, even if she didn't understand it at the time, the closeness and connection they formed did ignite something in her that she never felt before and, I guess, would not have a name for yet.
And even if I never planned on her and Emperor to have a happy ending (Hells, I never planned for her to a happy ending in general, life rarely goes all sunshine and rainbows), I felt that feeling safe with him specifically - a person who was in her mind as much as she was in his, connected even more that the tadfools - was a good medium for her to safely explore her sexuality and even sparks of desire that came after love. Because Val, when feeling safe and loved, is kinky.
Though, after Emperor leaves (and what she does never learn - for her own safety), the feelings of inadequacy return tenfold. That she is indeed broken and not worth the effort to fix her.
And I do sometimes, shyly, talk about her life afterwards and before she ultimately dies (and gets into more trouble). But somehow it's still difficult to talk about how during these 20-something years on her own she does things she's not proud of, didn't enjoy and how part of her feels how her worth was devalued because of how sex was used as a tool - or payment even - to get what she needed, got answers, used her body to help someone else or, fuck it, got a place to stay the night out of the cold. She is ashamed of how she was at the time; at first sex was used to get her thing, a way to manipulate those who found her attractive. A means to an end, as her mind - still wired to think like an illithid - told her.
A payment, barter. A desperate attempt at something. And then, a way to ward off loneliness if only for a bit - even if her body was tense and her stomach was turning as she gripped the blankets underneath her, always on her knees to not look at the faceless men, praying for the unnamed him to just finish so she could have her moment of peace.
I don't think she'd ever tell anyone about that part of her life - and before they find each other again with 'the Envoy', she doesn't really expect to ever have anyone willing to listen and understand - but it does add to her self-loathing, even when she bites down on her lips and goes with the flow; because that's what 'normal' people do, don't they?
And well, this is when the Envoy, 'Spooky' steps in, doesn't he?
Because this all started purely based on @erin-unknown commenting how their (canon) Deet would, in a way, pay respects to that silly, little, easy to forget deity Val becomes after death - which in turn made me definitely want to focus more on his character as well (because up to that point I never really expected for anyone to read my ramblings, let alone interact with them on a level where the characters themselves may have a chance to interact). And so, when the Envoy was introduced, and his origin just made me emotional, I did jump onto the opportunity to ship these two together. Even ready to rework Val's character so it would be a better fit for him.
But thing is... I still feel they work?
Spooky is Val's chance at remaking her life. Despite both of them being some flavour of 'dead', he makes her feel alive and she herself is surprised how needy she's becoming of the intimacy. Because while she loved the Emperor, in the end he still wanted to change her ('improve' her) while her Deet sees her as she is and accepts - wants - what he sees.
It makes her feel vulnerable in a good way, but also one she's not sure she's ready to talk about - not now and maybe not ever - with how used she is to being left behind and used.
I guess she herself is surprised with how much she wants him - in any way he is willing to give her - and it's as wonderful as it is terrifying. But she wants him and wants to be his too, and take care of him; heal the hurts he experienced in the past - while still ignoring her own. Make him experience new things in a safe environment, one that she herself was denied.
But she still keeps her secrets, knows their relationship is on limited time - short enough that giving name to what she experiences feels wrong, fake. But this is why she wants to give him as much as he wants - or needs - from her even when she herself grabs greedily at every shred of affection.
*
Couple of months back we were doing a group rp. It was fun until one person got out of line and their character started acting in an objectively sexually predatory way but back then we haven't implemented a safety light system so the scene was handled in character and resulted in Val's life being threatened after she rejected the character (and basically called him pathetic). But what stuck with me was how the line 'whoring herself to a man clearly not interested' was uttered with such hate.
And, mind you, this character had no way of knowing of her past or some events in the game (and this was a SFW game, mind you). Unfortunately, the person never got into their thick skull how that line was hurtful and how it hurt me as a person as well (and we tried to explain it both in and out of characters. fun). Of course it was one of the first red flags we saw and thankfully, that person is no longer in my life but there is still damage left on me due to their general behaviour.
But, because Val is an extension of me, and this scene was never resolved, I do keep returning to that line and - to me - it does feel like like something a part of her would worry about.
Because Spooky and Val do not stay together until the end of the Absolute crisis. The Archfey who Deet considers his Mother meddles with everything and Val is revealed to not be - fully - who she claims to be. Deet is faced with the realization that more than one supernatural being was affecting his life and even if Val's intentions were good - to help him get his life back - to him it feels like he was lied to by another person he trusted.
Val feels like a monster. That she manipulated him into loving her, but her self-loathing is stronger; that is was not about love. Not from him. Because if it were, he'd listen to her even if angry. That she wouldn't be discarded, treated like a cheap whore no one had any use of anymore.
In her mind, she's back to that life on the road again. Alone. Only now she felt what it meant to be loved and accepted and to love back.
And she hates herself for what she did, and hates herself more because she knows that - given the chance - she'd probably make the same mistakes. Because affection does not come easy to her, so why not take as much as she can carry, gorge herself on it like a starving animal that won't know when will it find its next meal - so what if it will get sick, she will take until she bursts it feels.
But at the same time, it's difficult not to also think that you are broken, damaged goods that no one wants and that this was the reason why he didn't want to deal with her anymore. Mother's little monster and maybe there is a knight in shining armor waiting for her; but it's to struck her down rather than break the curse. The princess may be somewhere, under a spell, but it feels like it surely isn't her.
So it's back to hiding; behind cocky smiles and sarcastic remarks, unruly bangs hanging over her face. Back to thick armor and gloves covering her hands - the hateful voice sounding like her Mother's being proud of her; this way no one will recoil from the touch of her bare skin.
They do get back together, somehow. But Val has a lot of issues, and trauma, she needs to work through before she can allow herself to be happy and this will be a long process even after the reunion.
When you live together and work together for more than a decade, it's important to make the time to reconnect; Deet and Kammon's relationship was never perfect, but this daily ritual of helping with Deet's long, red hair was important to both of them and helped them shrug off the challenges and arguments—at least for a while.
their bedroom and this pose took me like three hours to set up ;_;
When you live together and work together for more than a decade, it's important to make the time to reconnect; Deet and Kammon's relationship was never perfect, but this daily ritual of helping with Deet's long, red hair was important to both of them and helped them shrug off the challenges and arguments—at least for a while.
their bedroom and this pose took me like three hours to set up ;_;
@wild-surge has been pulling some vehicles into the game for our spooky mermay au for fun and i got to play around with them a little (also grateful for @obsessedwhyyes' modern furniture)
Since tumblr is back to Not Work For Me(TM), refreshing this thing.
What we have? Maybe not that much, but we do try to provide people with prompts and ask games (both yoinked from tumblr and self-made), the focus is VP-heavy (sfw/gore and pure smut) but mostly because people (me included) feel self conscious about posting (and👏🏼people👏🏼need👏🏼to👏🏼learn👏🏼to👏🏼comment👏🏼on👏🏼fics👏🏼they've👏🏼read👏🏼) also an apocalyptic log of my not so slow descent into madness as I try to break Blender (aka the ''modding" WIP channel where we try to learn stuff).
The forum system is pretty decent and I like that a small amount of people can talk and discuss characters without the stress of speaking up in the open; nice for those who prefer to lurk.
And yes, we have some rules so definitely check those when joining but the most important is: don't be an asshole and remember all tavs and durges are equal?
Honestly, I'm just heavily sleep deprived and Stressed(TM) due to Life(TM).
