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@the-resilientproject
My mother would always describe anxiety as being on a hamster wheel. Your thoughts never end, your worries never end. You have to learn to get off of the hamster wheel
Love, I did not see this until now! I’m going to be posting more after the summer. Thank you, this one is really good. (Hamsters have a special place in my heart, but the wheels can keep you up all night..)
DEPRESSION
“Today, on the first day of the new year, I feel myself back in the boat of wanting out.”
PSYCHOSIS
“I’m haunted by an angel... at first it was hard, but I’m learning to live with this feeling.”
The worst, was learning the common behavioural and personality traits people with anorexia shared. It wiped your identity, labelling you as an object of study. It broke me when I realized it applied to me. My disorder had actually changed who I was. I wasn't depressed when I motivated myself to eat less and exercise more, but being malnourished made me depressed. And, in that sense, I created my own mental illness! And that's why people struggle to sympathize. And that's why it's so demoralizing
I’m truly jealous of your introspective ability, dear. I just finished reading Girl, Interrupted, and there is a chapter where the author breaks down the traits associated with her diagnosis and invites the reader to think about how common they really are and how unfair it would be to define an entire person based upon them. I don’t know, this really reminded me of it. (Also, our bodies respond to things in their own ways! In no way is the subsequent depression your fault.)
Feel free to send me something! I only have a couple photos left to do, and I’d love to keep going.
DERMATILLOMANIA
"My fingers are always so painful, yet I can't stop."
DEPRESSION / ANXIETY
"I told myself that I would never let it get that far, and [so] it didn't."
Inspired by anonymous
I am so done trying to be "beautiful." To hell with media beautiful. I want to be human beautiful; I want to be me beautiful.
i should be taking photos right now
ADJUSTMENT DISORDER
“It's a struggle, but learning to control my own mind again is a powerful thing."
Inspired by anonymous
i want to kill myself. i have wanted to kill myself since i was 13. and now, at 17, i have survived 2 suicide attempts and part of me is desperate to be successful with the third time. but another part of me wants to stay alive and get better, just to show people who are struggling like i am that recovery is possible. i do not believe i deserve to be happy, but i believe others do, and that's why i'm still here.
You, with this much empathy and compassion, absolutely deserve to be happy. Empathy is so ridiculously beautiful, and we do not see enough of it. Please stay here, love; you sound wonderful. No matter who it’s for, you’re the one who gets to enjoy the little things, or who will one day be able to love them again. You said yourself that recovery is possible.
Crisis link at the bottom to get in touch with people who know more than I do.
I know there aren't yet photos (and this isn't even because someone complained; you're all wonderful), so I just want to say I do, so far, have an idea for every one of you that's sent me something, and I am still responding to anything, public or private. I just got back from break, and I have a new camera on the way and some lovely people that are going to let me shoot them. This is an apology, but this is also me being pretty excited.
being mentally I'll with bipolar is like riding one of those rides that spins and goes backwards. you never know where you're going and it's disorienting. you wanna die one second and then you wanna do everything. one minute you want to be close to people then you wanna punch people for no reason and you're full of so much anger it isn't even real and then nothing is real you aren't real and sometimes the voices you hear stay with you and it scares you so shitless you wanna puke. it's painful.
This actually left me speechless. I’m just sitting here kind of in awe of your strength and wondering if I can break in to my local carnival-esque place. I didn’t know voices were a part of it. Honestly, just thank you for this because it’s something I should learn and know about and because you really sound amazing- just being able to deal with that and talk about it so clearly.
I had plans originally to end things on New Year's Eve if I didn't feel like the things would be better. I had letters&all. Luckily I tried to become more optimistic &happy the few weeks before New Year's Eve. & I was actually better&happy for awhile. But today on the first day of the new year, 4 some reason I find myself back in the boat of wanting out. Depression is like a drug addiction, you have to find the willpower to over come it, but even if you do there's always the chance of relapses.
I am so proud of you for being here; I really, really mean it. Try to remember what the spaces between the relapses feel like. Yeah, there are lows, but there are highs, and they are worth so much. Sometimes being alive doesn’t feel any more interesting than being a live houseplant, but you can do things that people who’ve lived and died before you will never be able to again, and that’s important. You just told me you have the willpower, and I absolutely believe you. I also really like and want to use the boat metaphor. Hang in there.
If you find you need, check out the crisis page at the bottom of my blog. There are links to people who know a lot more than I do.
could you compile a list of submissions you've already had in some sort of link/page that's easy to access in addition to another one for us to view the art you put up based on them?? new follower and afraid of missing things!
This is such a good idea. So far I haven't posted any photos (they're coming!), but a new camera is on its way, so I'm excited about that. Check back in a bit, and I should have the links for you.
I went through a really tough time where I had to be home schooled because my anxiety got so bad and my depression was horrible. But I never thought about suicide because I told myself that I would never let it get that far and it didn't because of that. I am back in school now but it's been 2 years and I still have anxiety and depression.
This is so great right on the heels of the anon talking about the power of the mind. You’re made of metal. Thanks for sending- working on it!
I'm trying to come up with an idea for this right now... can I ask you a bit more about how it felt? I want to make the photo personal, if I can. Hope you had a wonderful - or mediocre if you're like me and not into celebration maximization - Christmas!
I'm having a bit of a hard time tonight. And I didn't really know who to talk to. I just wanted some nice words to feel a bit better.
Sorry for the late reply! Know that you are loved. I know this is a ridiculous time of year as far as family and stress, but underneath it all are people who are only making demands because they want the best for you. And beyond them, you get to choose your family, no matter what it may look like. Stay strong, darling, and take time for whatever little things make you happy. <3
autisticpearl submitted:
hey i’m not sure if this is what you’re looking for, but i have a few venting sketches that i wouldn’t mind you sharing?
here and here are a couple of photosets from my art blog
Hey, thanks for submitting! I was thinking more along the lines of trying to create my own photos based on people's experiences. If you'd like to describe the feeling in these or something similar, I'd love to see what I can do with it. That being said, anyone reading, go check out those photosets, they're really cool and well done.