Jay Kay x Stuart Zender

[the-stujay-project]

StuJay Christmas Headcanons 🎄❄️🎅🎁

Both are equally enthusiastic about the holiday season and start decorating the day after Thanksgiving (Stu kept on with that tradition from his childhood in the States and makes them celebrate). They keep the outside decorations modest and tasteful, but tend to go a bit overboard on the inside with as much whimsy and gaudiness as a Rankin/Bass animated special.

Jay initiates an impromptu slow dance with Stu whilst they're putting up the tree and listening to classic Christmas songs. It's intimate and sentimental, swaying together in the dim light as Jay holds Stuart close and presses a kiss to his temple.

[Dynamite-era + beyond] Hosting a small Christmas party just for the original Jamiroquai line up from the 90s. They all get eggnog drunk and decide to jam out in Jay's backyard studio, playing old school, funky renditions of Christmas songs. It's such a nostalgic, cathartic experience for Stuart. Being surrounded by old friends and making music with the love of his life evokes a maudlin happiness that more than makes up for the few years in the interim of leaving the band and before Jay came to his senses. He's quickly snapped out of his wistful introspection when Jay announces they should move this party to the garage and race around the property, and Stuart has to scramble and quickly hide 50 sets of car keys from his drunken, car collecting, speed freak boyfriend.

Licking off whipped cream mustaches on each other when they drink hot chocolate and it quickly turns into a make out session.

They go to a Christmas market and Stuart is not properly dressed for the weather, so in a chivalrous move, Jay removes his coat and puts it around him.

Stuart is hard at work in the kitchen preparing Christmas dinner when Jay sneaks up behind him and wraps an arm around his waist and gives him an appreciative kiss on the neck. Stuart smiles at the amatory gesture, but before he can turn around to properly kiss Jay, he dumps a handful of snow he was hiding down the back of Stuart's shirt and runs away cackling. After the initial cold shock, Stuart curses and chases Jay around the house.

Jay always breaks out some horny, Christmas-themed attire like a mistletoe belt or copies that 'Dick in a Box' SNL skit, which Stuart always rolls his eyes at. (He still gives him head though)

[EOPE/ROTSC era] The band is on the road during the holiday season, and determined to celebrate with limited time (and money), Jay and Stuart stop in a local department store and get one of those tacky Christmas photos taken.

Stuart's favorite thing he receives from Jay every year isn't any of the lavish, expensive gifts he buys him, but the handwritten love letter in his stocking that details everything about him that made his year. It means the most to Stuart considering Jay isn't really one to say how he feels.

[Automaton era + beyond] For the first time in his life, Jay feels kinda bummed about his birthday being between two major holidays since he doesn't go out and party anymore and it just kind of gets rolled over. Stuart decides to surprise Jay by taking him to an F1 race, and he even pulls some strings to have Jay drive around the track a few times, something he hasn't done since Bahrain in 2006.

Wishing a very Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, and Happy Holidays to all! ❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚

[the-stujay-project]

This pic looks like a candid of a romantic vacation

God just something about early 90s StuJay and the giddiness and excitement of a new relationship and getting that first taste of fame and traveling the world and making cool shit with your best friend who you're quickly realizing you're falling in love with (and the bittersweetness knowing it won't last forever)

[the-stujay-project]

Did you know about this track Jay and Stuart were featured on?

(and Wallis too) Anyways yeah, most places will have the credits listed simply as (feat. Jamiroquai), but I found that it was just Jay and Stuart essentially. What I'm more interested in though is the third voice I hear in the vocal sample they use, and the credit "Bassist, Vocalist: Stuart Zender" in the description. It might be a typo, but I swear to God, I'm like 90% sure that's Stuart singing with Jay (on the "la la la la la la la, la-la looooohhhhh") because it's literally not like Jay's at all or his head voice that he uses to harmonize with himself. (If you've listened to Stuart sing on his "LeRoi" project, he sounds kinda soft and breathy, which is how he can kind of get drowned out in background vocals).

Either way, this is a certified StuJay classic now.

[the-stujay-project]

HEY ARE YOU GUYS AWARE THIS EXISTS???

Pinterest said it was Jay and (probably) Toby but they weren't sure.

But DUDE, look at the dark hair.

Pay attention to the pattern of the shirt.

The specific ash gray/faded black beanie.

That's Stuart.

There's like 300 different ideas of what's going on in this photo and none of them are any good. 💀🥀

[the-stujay-project]

My brain wouldn't shut up until I made this

[the-stujay-project]

HEY ARE YOU GUYS AWARE THIS EXISTS???

Pinterest said it was Jay and (probably) Toby but they weren't sure.

But DUDE, look at the dark hair.

Pay attention to the pattern of the shirt.

The specific ash gray/faded black beanie.

That's Stuart.

There's like 300 different ideas of what's going on in this photo and none of them are any good. 💀🥀

[the-stujay-project]

[the-stujay-project]

Random StuJay Headcanons

Whenever Stuart can't sleep, he'll ask Jay questions about cars and Jay will go on and on yapping about them in the dark long after Stuart has dozed off.

They both constantly invade each other's personal space and sit in ways that couldn't possibly be comfortable to the average person, yet neither of them seems to mind.

Jay still calls Stuart "kid" even when they're well into their 50s and married.

Jay will be the one to suggest putting on a horror movie then later cower into Stuart and beg him to turn it off because it's too scary.

Every morning they sleepily fight over who gets to be little spoon for the first half hour before rolling out of bed.

Comparing hand sizes as a form of flirting.

Jay rolls the joints, Stuart loads up the bong.

Every once in a while Jay will ask Stuart to speak in a Philly/American accent because he thinks it's sexy.

Eventually they stop asking "is this mine or yours?" when sorting laundry and most of their clothing basically becomes communal.

Stuart always kicks Jay's ass in video games.

It's common for them to spontaneously start baking at 2 AM (oftentimes while being baked themselves).

Stuart having to carry Jay away like a misbehaving toddler in public when he's drunk and tries to start another fight with paparazzi yet again, profusely apologizing on behalf of his boyfriend and his antics. Jay doesn't help at all, hollering back over Stuart's shoulder things like "Yeah, you got off easy, asshole! You'd be in hospital if my man wasn't holding me back, and he could totally kick your ass too, you know!"

Jay acts dumber than he really is because he thinks it's cute seeing how frustrated Stuart gets when he asks exhausting, obvious questions or is purposely a contrarian and says the opposite of everything Stuart says, even if it's blatantly wrong.

Roasting each other as a form of flirting.

In the summer, they can stay in the pool together practically from sun up to sundown. They're pretty much just overgrown kids and have a vast collection of pool noodles and beach balls and squirt guns and all other kinds of pool toys, they never get bored.

Jay always kissing Stuart's hands.

Stuart frequently fanboys over Jay on social media, retweeting everything posted to JamiroquaiHQ and commenting stuff like "That's my husband! 😍" or "So proud of you, baby. 😘". Or he'll repost an old concert clip from a fan account to his IG story and caption it with a little known fact or anecdote about him and Jay's relationship at the time.

[the-stujay-project]

My Roman empire is the sheer amount of sexual tension going on during the breakdown of 'Travelling Without Moving' at Phoenix Festival 1997

Okay, like I am OBSESSED with this video for many reasons lmao:

Jay doing his slutty little dance moves and lifting up his shirt.

Jay deciding to do that DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF STUART.

STUART LITERALLY SNEAKING GLANCES AT JAY.

That breathy, half-moaning, sex kitten voice (this motherfucker knows exactly what he's doing).

Jay walking across the stage for 5 seconds only to turn around and go right back to Stuart.

Like, he gets RIGHT UP in his personal space. Especially at the end.

Jay calls Stuart "baby" at least twice (I count a third when he says "come on baby help me get right down" at 0:41, because like, who else would he be saying that to? And we know that Jay and Stu carry pretty much the entirety of this song ngl.)

Camera man clearly supports The StuJay Agenda with how much he pans back and forth between them.

Red spotlight for Jay, blue spotlight for Stuart; it's like they predicted the red/blue shipping trope like 15 years before it became a Thing??

OKAY WAIT A MINUTE I JUST WENT BACK TO THE BEGINNING AND I JUST REALIZED JAY WAS FEELING HIMSELF UP TOO?!? Oh, he's such a WHORE. He was definitely trying to rile Stuart up.

At 1:11 there's something in the way Jay addresses Stuart that I can't put into words, but like, there's this sort of electric energy between them and you can tell Jay's very comfortable giving commands that's all I'm gonna say... 👀

That lil "come here" motion he was doing with his fingers too and Stuart keeping his eyes on him the entire time. Y'all.

Also, they're the only two wearing hats on stage, I just thought that was another funny coincidence lol.

[the-stujay-project]

Just found out Stu (5'10) is exactly ONE (1) inch taller than Jay (5'9) and now their height difference is going to forever be exaggerated in my head.

[the-stujay-project]

Modern AU/Gen Z!Jamiroquai would be so fun because StuJay would be a lot more plausible but hidden under the guise of "homiesexual" ironic gay shit most bicurious straight guys do. I feel like Jay would instigate a lot of it. Like during or after one of Stuart's bass solos where Jay usually shouts him out (i.e. Travelling Without Moving, Tighten Up), he'd make it a habit to call Stuart his boyfriend, but in the same way Tyler the Creator does to A$AP Rocky to mess with him. Or tag Stuart in shitty/blurry/edited/overall bad photos on Instagram with stupid ass captions like "@/stuartzender #MCM" or "Me n tha huzz 🔥💞 @/stuartzender". Stuart would lean into the joke a little bit, but not be so brazen with it like Jay is. However, every now and then while the band is just hanging out together they'll get into one of their routine bickerings, and Stuart will make a threat along the lines of "Bro, shut up before I kiss you" that catches Jay off guard and humorously deescalates the situation before they actually start arguing. Though sometimes Jay responds with something equally as sus and it turns into a game of gay chicken until someone (usually Wallis) yells "OH HELL NAH!" It remains ambiguous whether or not there's actually anything happening between them. Neither of them clarify a thing, walking a very fine line between trolling and soft launching their relationship.

[the-stujay-project]

So... who's gonna make the StuJay "Tim I Wish You Were Born a Girl" animatic or AMV? Because I just heard that song again and holy shit it sounds exactly like how I imagine Jay pining over Stuart but never actually sealing the deal because of his Commitment Issues or internalized bi/homophobia. (It's both)

[the-stujay-project]

NSFW //

Stuart being a peaceful, docile househusband that absolutely wrecks Jay's hole as soon as he comes home from tour.

[the-stujay-project]

Stuart gets hit with Jay's dick

Twice (✌️) !!!

[the-stujay-project]

Jamiroquai Official follows Stuart Zender on Twitter now so I guess Jay and Stu are back together 💖

/j

[the-stujay-project]

Girlblogging but make it StuJay

This is Stuart towards Jay but honestly this is another one where it works both ways.

[the-stujay-project]

StuJay on Loveline 💗☎️

This talk show appearance was absolute gold and it sucks that the original upload was taken down off YouTube, because it was actually way longer. (A whole hour of content! 😭)

But anyway, the camera man was OBSESSED with panning over to these two, and it seems they couldn't keep their eyes (and hands) off each other either.

Enjoy the StuJay GIF dump!

(And sorry for the crunchy quality, this aired in 1997 and was uploaded in 240p RIP💀)

HE TOUCHED HIS DOME

I don't know why I keep watching this GIF over and over, it's just so oddly satisfying that they're perfectly in sync. (I guess you can say they're Synkronized)

Fucking dorks 💖

THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE OUT OF THE ENTIRE SET 🥹💘

In my head, the interviewer asked a crude question about their relationship (because it's the 90s 🙄) and Stuart is responding with his signature wit and sass.

GOD the way Stuart looks at Jay, he's always so intrigued and enamored by him. 😭💕

Here's the full episode if you want to go watch it for yourself.

[the-stujay-project]

*Hypes up boyfriend for the whole audience then proceeds to throw that ass back to his funky bass solo*

He said "That's my man, that's MY MANNNNNN 😍✨💅"

(Ngl, this clip specifically awakened my StuJay addiction)