Don't Mess With Me

18/nb (Pokémon IRL blog)

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Hi! You can call me Zero (they/them), and I'm the mightiest trainer in the whole region of Unova! I work day and night (mostly night) to protect the people of my region, but unfortunately no one seems to actually understand that I'm a hero. If I'm not in disguise, I get attacked in the streets, and when I try to return lost children to their homes I get mistaken for a kidnapper.

Luckily, I'm unbeatable in a fight, and I refuse to let simple misunderstandings get in the way of my love for my fellow humans.

My partner is my Reuniclus, Naught. With her mighty psychic powers, she tells me where there's trouble so I can come to the rescue.

This is my first time making a blog, and I look forward to getting to know all of you!

OOC under cut

Hi! Zero's kind of a self insert character, so they share a name and pronouns with me. I'm a Drifloon living in Unova, but I'm a human therian so I'd like it if you treat me as human if that's okay.

If you want to talk to me instead of character Zero just put OOC: at the beginning of your ask.

//For anything addressed to the mun of this blog, use two slashes or "true ooc."

[purrlescent-sense]

ooc: Hi! I saw your blog and uh. Wanted to say hello? This is an RP blog so mostly if you talk to me I'll assume it's for my character but if you send me a message starting with ooc I'll know it's for the real me.

- @the-ultimate-adventurer

//Not true ooc. This blog has an "in character" and "out of character" version of the character.

oh uh. hi? oh wait hold on do i gotta put the fuckin uhhhh. ooc thing at the front. well you came to my inbox out of character so like. whatever anyways immmm not an rp blog but uh. yeah. was there like a specific reason you wanted to say hello or were you just stopping by to say hi.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

You looked like you just made your blog so I thought it'd be nice? And I thought it might be good to have more friends here. Sorry if I'm bothering you or anything.

And don't worry about putting the ooc thing unless you're like sending a message to my blog and you want to make it clear if it's for me or for character Zero.

[wishmaker-astra]

(ooc) Hey um you mentioned a "bootstrap community" when we talked before what is that?

-Zero @the-ultimate-adventurer

Long story short, intervention at a critical period during a pokemon's upbringing can sometimes end up setting them down the path to true sapience and cognition in the manner that humans typically understand it. This intervention essentially involves treating the pokemon like a human child being actively taught things in a manner and extent appropriate for a human to vastly simplify it.

Extremely unreliable and hard to predict for many. Here's posts that go into more detail:

Post by @wishmaker-astra · 1 link

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 5 · Feral child - Wikipedia · bootstrapped gardie??? They're grabbing a drink so can respond now. Ok, so... some pokemon if th

Post by @wishmaker-astra · 1 link

💬 0  🔁 2  ❤️ 4 · Feral child - Wikipedia · Could you elaborate more on bootstrapping? How exactly does it work and why is it called that? Is

I have contacts in the community made up of individuals "bootstrapped" in this manner, primarily focused on gardevoir due to my history as a child with extended play with a wild gardevoir.

For the record: I'm occasionally invited to things held by them. I'm a weird edgecase on sometimes getting invited, since I don't face a lot of the systemic oppression they face, but I DO also face SOME systemic oppression they do that humans do not. And some systemic oppression that neither humans or bootstrapped face. It's weird intersection of stuff I sit at.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Oh.

Uh. That sounds a lot like what happened with me actually. When I was little, there were these two old human women who would come see me every day, and

[wishmaker-astra]

Might have hit post early.

That said, reminder not to dump too many details that could be used for identity theft online publicly.

Might be better for DMs if you want to talk about it.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Okay.

I think the important part is that sounds a lot like me.

[wishmaker-astra]

Oh, huh, neat. Haven't really encountered other universes where that's been a notable thing on here.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

I don't know if it's exactly the same as how it happens for you but I definitely did kinda figure out a lot of stuff from the old women who kept coming to see me.

[wishmaker-astra]

(ooc) Hey um you mentioned a "bootstrap community" when we talked before what is that?

-Zero @the-ultimate-adventurer

Long story short, intervention at a critical period during a pokemon's upbringing can sometimes end up setting them down the path to true sapience and cognition in the manner that humans typically understand it. This intervention essentially involves treating the pokemon like a human child being actively taught things in a manner and extent appropriate for a human to vastly simplify it.

Extremely unreliable and hard to predict for many. Here's posts that go into more detail:

Post by @wishmaker-astra · 1 link

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 5 · Feral child - Wikipedia · bootstrapped gardie??? They're grabbing a drink so can respond now. Ok, so... some pokemon if th

Post by @wishmaker-astra · 1 link

💬 0  🔁 2  ❤️ 4 · Feral child - Wikipedia · Could you elaborate more on bootstrapping? How exactly does it work and why is it called that? Is

I have contacts in the community made up of individuals "bootstrapped" in this manner, primarily focused on gardevoir due to my history as a child with extended play with a wild gardevoir.

For the record: I'm occasionally invited to things held by them. I'm a weird edgecase on sometimes getting invited, since I don't face a lot of the systemic oppression they face, but I DO also face SOME systemic oppression they do that humans do not. And some systemic oppression that neither humans or bootstrapped face. It's weird intersection of stuff I sit at.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Oh.

Uh. That sounds a lot like what happened with me actually. When I was little, there were these two old human women who would come see me every day, and

[wishmaker-astra]

Might have hit post early.

That said, reminder not to dump too many details that could be used for identity theft online publicly.

Might be better for DMs if you want to talk about it.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Okay.

I think the important part is that sounds a lot like me.

[wishmaker-astra]

(ooc) Hey um you mentioned a "bootstrap community" when we talked before what is that?

-Zero @the-ultimate-adventurer

Long story short, intervention at a critical period during a pokemon's upbringing can sometimes end up setting them down the path to true sapience and cognition in the manner that humans typically understand it. This intervention essentially involves treating the pokemon like a human child being actively taught things in a manner and extent appropriate for a human to vastly simplify it.

Extremely unreliable and hard to predict for many. Here's posts that go into more detail:

Post by @wishmaker-astra · 1 link

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 5 · Feral child - Wikipedia · bootstrapped gardie??? They're grabbing a drink so can respond now. Ok, so... some pokemon if th

Post by @wishmaker-astra · 1 link

💬 0  🔁 2  ❤️ 4 · Feral child - Wikipedia · Could you elaborate more on bootstrapping? How exactly does it work and why is it called that? Is

I have contacts in the community made up of individuals "bootstrapped" in this manner, primarily focused on gardevoir due to my history as a child with extended play with a wild gardevoir.

For the record: I'm occasionally invited to things held by them. I'm a weird edgecase on sometimes getting invited, since I don't face a lot of the systemic oppression they face, but I DO also face SOME systemic oppression they do that humans do not. And some systemic oppression that neither humans or bootstrapped face. It's weird intersection of stuff I sit at.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Oh.

Uh. That sounds a lot like what happened with me actually. When I was little, there were these two old human women who would come see me every day, and

[espers-n-espurrs]

imagine playing baseball and youve gone up to bat and as the ball approaches at mach speed you realize with dawning horror that it is a very small voltorb

you now have a choice to make

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Forget the game I'm helping the Voltorb if I can :(

[espers-n-espurrs]

well you better move fast because that pitcher really knows how to throw

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Maybe it would be better to not move and I can cushion the Voltorb's impact with my body. It probably wouldn't hurt too much.

[yveltalreal]

average mlb fastball is a 94 mph. a baseball at that speed is enough to break bones if it hits you wrong. thats just a baseball. voltorbs are way biggr and presumabl its moving at the same speed for this hypothetical. youd have like all your ribs broken at best.

[victoria-vd]

Furthermore, Esper stated that the Christian baby Voltorb is approaching at mach speed, or roughly 1235 kilometers per hour. There will be nothing left of you or this Christian baby Voltorb. You were doomed the moment you stepped onto the plate.

[espers-n-espurrs]

i believe in them

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

I'll save it

[espers-n-espurrs]

imagine playing baseball and youve gone up to bat and as the ball approaches at mach speed you realize with dawning horror that it is a very small voltorb

you now have a choice to make

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Forget the game I'm helping the Voltorb if I can :(

[espers-n-espurrs]

well you better move fast because that pitcher really knows how to throw

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Maybe it would be better to not move and I can cushion the Voltorb's impact with my body. It probably wouldn't hurt too much.

[yveltalreal]

average mlb fastball is a 94 mph. a baseball at that speed is enough to break bones if it hits you wrong. thats just a baseball. voltorbs are way biggr and presumabl its moving at the same speed for this hypothetical. youd have like all your ribs broken at best.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Okay but I can take a really bad beating and walk away fine I've fought legendaries and stuff so I should be okay right? And it's not like broken bones take that long to heal.

Also it says a very small Voltorb so it's going to be the same size as a baseball.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Okay. Whoever did this has to be Dark type somehow. That's good to know.

I just gotta figure out how I'm going to find them if I can't rely on Naught's abilities. I guess look around for footprints maybe?

[espers-n-espurrs]

imagine playing baseball and youve gone up to bat and as the ball approaches at mach speed you realize with dawning horror that it is a very small voltorb

you now have a choice to make

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Forget the game I'm helping the Voltorb if I can :(

[espers-n-espurrs]

well you better move fast because that pitcher really knows how to throw

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Maybe it would be better to not move and I can cushion the Voltorb's impact with my body. It probably wouldn't hurt too much.

[espers-n-espurrs]

imagine playing baseball and youve gone up to bat and as the ball approaches at mach speed you realize with dawning horror that it is a very small voltorb

you now have a choice to make

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Forget the game I'm helping the Voltorb if I can :(

[bait-and-volt-switch]

Really funny seeing what are clearly roleplay accounts on here. Maxie and Archie would not have rotomblr, they are not the rotomblr target audience. They would have facebook, go roleplay eco-terrorists over there.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Who are Maxie and Archie? I've never heard of them, are they from outside Unova?

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Dark type pokemon?

Dark type...

Yeah I guess that'd kinda do it. Not affected by anything psychic, so of course Naught's abilities wouldn't detect them.

I dunno if we can be totally sure this is a Pokémon, though. Sometimes humans have type traits.

I'd know.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Okay. I think Naught and I have... probably done all we can do.

Whoever did this might try to attack another town. I asked Naught if she's able to predict anything, but she's getting a complete blank.

Why are her psychic abilities not working?

[wishmaker-astra]

DO YOU KNOW WHAT A QUASI-STAR (BLACK HOLE STAR) IS?

YES

NO

UNCERTAIN

Voting ended onJul 29

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

What is that?

[wishmaker-astra]

Won't explain until after the poll closes so as to not spoil it.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

Aw. Okay.

[wishmaker-astra]

DO YOU KNOW WHAT A QUASI-STAR (BLACK HOLE STAR) IS?

YES

NO

UNCERTAIN

Voting ended onJul 29

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

What is that?

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

How. How did this

Naught should've sensed this attack. How did she miss it?

...

I'd better head in and make sure no one's hurt.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

This damage is...

It's not pretty. It doesn't look like any of the buildings are in danger of collapsing or anything, but stuff is torn up everywhere. A bunch of plants have been completely mangled. And there's a lot of broken windows, and clothes and things torn up and smashed on the ground.

Why didn't Naught sense this? Why couldn't I have been here to stop it?

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

I...

I don't even know how much I can do. I dunno how to fix windows, and I don't know who any of this stuff belongs to either. And if I try to help during the day with people around and stuff so I can get direction about where things are meant to go people will probably just decide it's my fault.

Maybe I can try to do some work with the plants at least?

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

How. How did this

Naught should've sensed this attack. How did she miss it?

...

I'd better head in and make sure no one's hurt.

[the-ultimate-adventurer]

This damage is...

It's not pretty. It doesn't look like any of the buildings are in danger of collapsing or anything, but stuff is torn up everywhere. A bunch of plants have been completely mangled. And there's a lot of broken windows, and clothes and things torn up and smashed on the ground.

Why didn't Naught sense this? Why couldn't I have been here to stop it?