I still love you.
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if i look back, i am lost
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@the518og-blog
I still love you.
“Just because we not together doesn’t mean i stopped loving you.”
— - Annabella.
Never will, I hope one day you’ll come back
Here I am with all the things that I always thought would make me happy, got a constant source of money all the drugs I want and my own place and the freedom to do whatever and that still doesn’t equate to happiness. My mind has been focused on success yet my heart is stuck in another place wish I could just throw the damn thing out. Maybe it’s the high thoughts or my low expectations not like anyone would’ve taken that shit into consideration. Most days I spend alone with no observations too numb in the mind to even start a conversation. And sure maybe all the pussy ain’t the same but I guess I still got you on my brain. #HighThoughts
I think the greatest thing I learned is to just finally let go and be yourself. The person I was just wasn’t me and now that I’ve finally found myself I just need to focus on succeeding. I wish I could change the past with what I know now and what I’ve learned but I can’t and lingering on it won’t ever fix anything, I still wish you the best and hope everything works out wherever life takes you.
New Pack Type Shit
Repressed Feelings - 518OG
All this pain is temporary
What was once a passionate and seemingly inexhaustible flame, that burned so bright I thought I could do anything and life was actually okay for once because of how I felt for you, but now that’s just a mere flicker and it is sad to never know what could’ve been but it’s not healthy anymore to chase the impossible and to feel so much for someone who feels nothing, so I finally have to let go, but I never will forget the times we had and there will forever be a little piece of something in my heart. Maybe in the next life.
We can’t save those who have long past the point of being saved by us. No matter how hard it may be to let go, things will never change and the pain is inevitable but in the end I gave it my all. You can only take so much from one person, I’d never wish you death because I could never do that to someone I once loved and until very recently would’ve done anything for despite it all. But then again that is the difference between us. Don’t worry I won’t be taking up anymore of your time. I guess this is goodbye. I hope one day you get what you’ve always wanted.
You couldn’t let me be your 4 am call Could you? You couldn’t let me be your last kiss Could you? You couldn’t let me be the one that saves you Could you? You couldn’t let me save myself with you Could you? And now we are both lonely and you still don’t care Do you?
- Hira
In the end I’ve tried as hard as I could to wrong the rights I’ve never expected forgiveness only a chance at redemption. I knew the past would never be erased but I also knew the situation you’ve remained in. I know I fucked up the past but if it was the last thing I did I wanted to try to make up for shit to try to make your life better to make you feel good about yourself to do anything to try to make up a fraction of what I did. Because you deserved better you still do u deserve to not have to worry about your body or have a hard time trusting anyone you deserve the world and a stable place and respect and understanding and it’s all the shit I always wanted to give you, it’s not an excuse but I was young dumb not even understanding or loving myself to realize that you were a real rider and I always knew u were the one and I always will love you but I just never seen it in areas I thought were good I was missing the point I realized all of this months after the fact I changed my life around but it’s too late because I realized that you’d never even want to be friends and the one person I loved and considered all I had was gone and it was on me. And you had every right to be mad and not want to talk so I took everything you said and told me even tho it killed me to hear but the fact I was still hearing from you knowing you’re okay was worth it even if it was breif. But I’ve been still beyond heartbroken that you left and I know you did what you had to in that moment but it’s like knowing that I mean absolute shit to you and you could care less if I died when months ago I meant apparently everything and the little moments we had just laying there in silence everything was great because I had my girl right there and all the bullshit of the world didn’t matter. Well Bella I realized finallly that my situation will never change and you’re just shutting me out and that’s probably how it’ll continue to be no matter how hard I try to just be given the chance for you to hear me out but it’s clearly just hurting me even more in the end. Because I miss you so fucking bad it tears through me daily and I’ve lived with that among other things. And I just didn’t want you to die or anything to happen to you because I just want a good happy future for you like you deserve that I always wanted to give you. But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore. Just know that I never gave up and that In the end I still loved you and would’ve done anything.
THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)
An Article from Neena Susan Thomas
“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”
EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
Suicidal
I just feel like killing myself today,
I’m not a dramatic person,
But can u give me a reason?
A feeling?
A hope?
A desire to do or be something?
I am vanishing…
I’m already dead…
Not like it even will matter. Not sure why I tried to even find a reason to stay here this long when I knew the outcome.