The Absent Universe

Wants to see inside your brain. Obsessed with psychology and mental disorders, in an attempt to understand the bewildering motivations, behaviours and experiences of the human species (including myself). Privileges opinions of people with so-called mental disorders over opinions of so-called experts (except for the good ones). Makes sound art. PhD candidate. Would reveal topic if able to personally comprehend *meltdown ensues*. Currently hooked on Rupaul's Drag Race (go Jinkx!) to escape the misery of existence. Not at all histrionic. Unsure of the point of this blog.

[theabsentuniverse]

Major Depression

Thor Harris, the drummer for Swans and Shearwater, manages his clinical depression through music, art, exercise and community.

[theabsentuniverse]

[autisticdrift]

Hello. I'm looking for blogs or articles written by non-verbal persons with autism. I was wondering if you or your followers knew any. Thank you.

Blogs/articles by nonspeaking autistic people that come to mind right now:

Amy Sequenzia

Emma Zurcher Long (some posts on that blog but not all)

Ballastexistenz

Tito Mukhopadhyay

Barb Rentenbach

Carly Fleischman

Tracy Thresher

Larry Bissonette

Henry Frost

Ido Kedar

I’m sure there are others that I’ve missed.

[theabsentuniverse]

"I saw clearly that not only does racism oppress people of colour on a systemic level, but that I, as a white person, benefit from that oppression, whether I want to or not. Interestingly, although I quickly recognized that: 1) I have certain unearned assets that others do not because I am white and middle-class and able-bodied and cisgender; and 2) that others have privileges I do not because they are men and/or heterosexual, I did not recognize for some time the fact that people who had never been labeled mentally ill—as I had been—and who were thus sane by default, had access to privileges that I did not. I was aware of the discrimination I had faced as a "mentally ill" person, but I accepted that oppression. I believed, at the time, that I was sick, and I believed that this sickness caused me to hurt myself and others. Should I not then, I reasoned, be restrained by the straightjacket of unequal treatment?"

[theabsentuniverse]

Yesterday I was in the car, driving. I was experiencing multiple moments at once. This was more than I could bear, my mind collapsing in images of moments passed filled with expanding emotions. A mind too full, breathing. The car moved quickly forwards but my body remained still. A dissonance in perception. Time made no sense. Tears were running down my cheeks and images of the future became superimposed on those of the past. The moments before my inevitable death, one chosen by me, but not chosen at all. The Only Option. Perception so collapsed it was infinitely and uncontrollably expanding. To find a way out.

[theabsentuniverse]

[theabsentuniverse]

Mental Health Visions #9 David Webb, User Led Research

David Webb completed the world's first PhD on suicide by someone who has attempted suicide. David is a board member of the World Network of Users and Survivo...

[disabilityhistory-blog]

A 51-year-old mentally ill grandmother recently secured a $1.6 million settlement from a New Mexico county that she says jailed her for more than two years, much of which she spent in an isolation cell without a bed.

The Shocking Story Of A Bipolar Woman Stuck For Years In Jail Without Ever Being Convicted Of A Crime

She was charged, but never convicted, of two minor offenses. The judge said she should “see a psychiatrist ASAP,” and she was found “mentally incompetent” to stand trial. Two years later, she still had not been allowed to see a psychiatrist, and she’d been forced to spend at least eight months in solitary confinement. 

(via disabilityhistory)

[theabsentuniverse]

[theabsentuniverse]

Why am I finding it so hard to quickly find a definition of mad studies (madness studies)? Can anyone out there point me toward one??

[theabsentuniverse]

"Without the idea of suicide I surely would have killed myself"

Suicidality is a panic button for life

Emil Cioran

[theabsentuniverse]

Part Two

[theabsentuniverse]

Breaking Through: Talking about suicide

"When you can’t rid yourself of the darkness you rid the darkness of you."

[theabsentuniverse]

[trashisfree]

I’m purranoid like that.

[sunrec]

When, in a mountainous region, one hears the wind, day in and day out, steadfastly, unchangingly, play the same theme, one is perhaps tempted to abstract, for a moment, from the imperfection of the analogy, and take pleasure in this symbol of the consistency and security of human freedom. One does not think, perhaps, that there was a time when the wind that has now for many years resided in these mountains, came as a stranger to this place, cast itself about confusedly, meaninglessly, through the cliffs and caverns, produced first a howl with which it almost startled itself, then a roar from which it fled, then a moan whose origin was even to itself a mystery, then a sigh from anxiety’s abyss, a sigh so deep that it became frightened and doubted for a moment whether it dare take up residence in this place, then an exuberant, lyrical waltz; until, after it had come to know its instrument, it worked all these into the melody that it now, day in and day out, unvaryingly plays. Thus the individual becomes lost in his own possibility, discovering first one and then another possibility.

Søren Kierkegaard, Repetition  (via thoughtportrait)

[theabsentuniverse]

First person perspectives

There is a heatwave and I have a very comfortable couch in front of an air-conditioner and have found a youtube suggested items list dedicated entirely to my special interest. Tedx talks by the mentally interesting.

Why We Choose Suicide: Mark Henick at TEDxToronto (*Trigger warning for discussion of suicide) My life with Asperger’s: Daniel Wendler at TEDxUniversityofArizona

Laura Bain - Living with Bipolar Type II

Lessons from the Mental Hospital: Glennon Doyle Melton at TEDxTraverseCity (*Trigger warning for discussion of self harm) Autism - How My Unstoppable Mother Proved the Experts Wrong