My Brain & I

Trying to succeed with ADHD, Anxiety, and Seizure Disorder

[theadhdgirl]

Making the Same Mistakes Over and Over

I realized yesterday during journaling that I pretty much keep making the same mistakes in my life over and over. The only thing that changes is my reaction to them as I get older and more mature. I wondered if the reason I don’t learn from my mistakes/recognize patterns is because I have ADHD, and my memory is not as strong or available as the average person. 

Anyone else out there keep repeating bad patterns? Any advice?

[nisaexploresadhd]

adhd is: the thrill of discovering that this week you can read!

[theadhdgirl]

So true! This weekend I read a whole book in one day and I’m starting another. I just went through a 4 month draught where I couldn’t read a single page. Wtffffff

[anachronistic-cat]

I put the fun in executive dysfunction

[adhd-community]

Have never reblogged anything faster in my life

[purplesmartass]

When a job application asks “do you have a disability?”

[weallheartonedirection]

Stress Relief

[daisies-with-bruises-deactivate]

I saw my therapist today and I was expressing that I’ve been having a difficult time lately with my ocd and that I’ve been unable to do my exposure work.

He was very sympathetic and gave me some great advice as usual and I broke down and began crying.

I looked at him and said, “I’m so scared. I’m absolutely terrified.”

He looked at me and said, “The fear is going to be there. This is real to you so of course it’s frightening; you’ll have to do it afraid.”

Words were deep. He’s right.

[savingoursanity]

Holy crap that is literally it.

Living with chronic anxiety means it won’t leave you long enough for you to live your life without it being there in some form or fashion. It’s why I always it funny that people automatically assume that if you are doing/did something it means you aren’t anxious. Honey I wish. 

I’m lucky enough that my anxiety has been manageable to a point where it hasn’t completely stopped me from getting done what had to get done. But I will say that I have accomplished a lot of things with the word “terrified” flashing like a warning light in my head, alarms blaring and all. 

So much of what I’ve done I’ve been scared out of my mind doing. It was brutal and exhausting but it somehow managed to be worth it. I’ve learned the hard way that if you wait around for the moment where you aren’t afraid to do something then you will never do anything. 

The less you do, the less you want to do. It’s a vicious cycle of avoidance that leads nowhere. The first part is realizing that just because you are terrified doesn’t mean you can’t do it or go for it. Our thoughts are powerful but in the end they are only words strung together that we choose to give a meaning and importance to. In those moments I really like to think of this quote by Erin Hanson : 

“What if I fall?”

“Oh, but my darling,what if you fly?”

I find it complements the picture caption well. Taking that leap doesn’t mean that you aren’t afraid. It just means that you are willing to believe there is something out there that is worth more than you keeping your feet safe on the ground.

[theadhdgirl]

this. this is what i needed tonight. it’s a saturday night and I’m inside. I say it’s because it’s raining and cold. because I like staying in. because I don’t want to spend money. Because all my friends want to do is go to the bar anyway and I don’t like to drink. In actuality, it’s because I hate going outside. I hate crowds, new places, and new experiences. Well I don’t hate them AFTER, I hate them before because of the anxiety it causes me. What if it’s terrible and I have a panic attack or I say something stupid and everyone hates me? It’s easier to stay inside and write than go outside and live. 

Thank you for reminding me that I have to live WITH my anxiety, not live THROUGH it. It’s not a matter of surviving anxiety, it’s a matter of thriving with anxiety. 

[theadhdgirl]

Tell me a time your ADHD helped you?

For me, my ADHD helps when I am meeting new people. I know that seems weird, but I’ve found making friends as an adult can be hard and breaking the ice is awkward. Luckily, when you have ADHD you kind of just plunge headfirst into lake, no ice breaking necessary :) . I can start a conversation with anyone about anything and you know what - I think it’s a pretty damn fine trait. It’s help me make friends and even meet guys :) 

[theadhdgirl]

She who conquers herself is the greatest warrior

Confucius (with female pronouns)

[moviehealthcommunity]

A message for Warner Bros.

From our Twitter:

We would urge @jk_rowling and @wbpictures to put an epilepsy warning in front of #FantasticBeasts⁠ ⁠. That opening action sequence has the potential to be dangerous to epileptic and otherwise photosensitive viewers.

[theadhdgirl]

Epileptic here and it I agree - it was super intense. I was lucky I had a large scarf on that I could wrap around my eyes. It especially sucked because there were so many major plot points in there that I missed out on! I often find these visual effects are totally unnecessary and don’t add value.

[adhdteacherthings]

I feel like I have no interests or hobbies or… really just anything that I enjoy doing just for my own gratification. I have 3 hours each night that I can spend doing recreation activities and I 1) have a small amount of energy to spend due to a draining work day, and 2) feel like that’s a small amount of time to do anything worthwhile. So I end up jumping back and forth between things and doing basically nothing. Getting nothing done, doing things I vaguely enjoy at 30% effort. And at this point I wonder if I even have any interests anymore, or what I would respond if someone asked me “so what do you like to do for fun?” Cuz the answer is nothing, and that’s a shitty way to live.

[theadhdgirl]

I have honestly felt this way since I left high school 10 years ago. I struggle to find and maintain hobbies and hold myself accountable to them. I get fleeting interest in various things but when it comes time to study them and buy supplies or go to classes, I don’t follow through. I’ve always loved to write though, and I am going to try to do that more with the help of tumblr.