More ways to make your life more bearable with ADHD (source: it works for me):
๐ Do not buy a planner. Get a notebook or empty bullet journal and just organise it however you want instead. Don't worry about the aesthetics, or following through, just fill it out however you want, let it be chaotic. Create your own structure and do not care if you stick to it. It's better than doing nothing just because it won't be perfect or look Pinterest worthy.
๐ Keep a small notebook for random, distracting thoughts. If you have no time but there's some interesting internal monologue your brain wants to make, write the thought down quickly in this notebook. You can come back to it the other time.
๐ If you struggle with drinking water, buy yourself some cute bottle and fill it out with cute stickers. You can also put fruit or cucumbers in it for flavor. Bottles with hourly measure can also be helpful. If you're into manifestation, you can whisper affirmations in water, eg. "I will be productive today" - now everytime you drink it, you're "absorbing" the message, which makes you want to drink water even more.
๐ If you can't get yourself to clean, put some music on and pretend you're a fairy redecorating their home, or some Victorian young service staff who prepares the room for when the Lady comes...Make up whatever scenario you want.
๐ Overall, romanticising everything works. You're not studying for an exam, you're a main character in a coming of age movie and you are in the "motivational" montage. Or a scientist that is on the brink of discovery.
๐ Struggling to focus on important conversation? Imagine subtitles or pictures of what another person is saying. But not "in your head" - visualise it right next to them. As if you were watching a Netflix show or like they're a video essay youtuber who shows all the captivating graphics while they're talking.
๐ Do not be optimistic when making to do lists and plans for what you're gonna do certain day. Avoid task overwhelm by planning less than you think you'd do. It's more effective than planning a lot and then ending up doing nothing because it scared your brain.
-> I like dividing tasks into 4 categories: Big Scary Tasks (the tasks which give me anxiety), Big Tasks (tasks which are not anxiety inducing but require lots of effort and time), Small Tasks (short, easy to do, but still urgent) and Mini Tasks (not that important nor urgent, and small too). So it's like, my own version of Eisenhower Matrix I guess.
-> I know that for many ADHDers choosing to do the hardest task as first one paralyzes them entirely, but I like to do it very quickly and in very half assed way because it just eases all the anxiety. For me, it doesn't matter when I schedule the task, the paralysis will be there anyway/I end up doing Small Tasks just to procrastinate so I might as well "not give myself time" to even get into paralysis in the first place. Like, fuck the morning routine, I'm doing that right after waking up/coming home if I can, because once it's gone, doing all other tasks becomes much more easier and pleasurable.
๐ Always assume you're gonna be late (if you're struggling with time blindness). Eg. if you have to leave at 5 PM, schedule leaving for 4:30 PM or even 4:00 PM. Even if it feels like you will have "too much time". No you won't and you will be grateful to yourself into gaslighting yourself into leaving earlier. Same way, if you need to catch a train, plan for earlier departure than you need. This way, if you will miss it, you will be able to go on next one (so many missed pre-bought tickets...).
๐ If you can't get started on something, half-ass. Do it in most lazy way you know.
-> Can't force yourself to get into shower? Tell yourself all you need is to get undressed and just put a shampoo on your head. Nothing more. You might wanna do more once you start, but if not, it's okay too.
-> There's a task with many steps that overwhelms you? Start with some random small step that feels like nothing. You will get "into a mood" and the chance of following through will increase.
Also if you struggle with showers: after coming home from work/school, go to shower immediately, don't let yourself rest before it.
๐ Sometimes I use affirmations to get out of task paralysis. Thinking to myself "I want to do it, I CAN do it, I WILL do it" or "There's nothing I can't do" actually helps sometimes, even though it feels kind of...ableist. It's like my brain assumes it won't muster up some dopamine for me without even trying. Try to convince it that it can! (Not sure if it will help everyone, but it works for me).
-> I think what's important here is to create an affirmation that aims at the particular mental block you have. Telling myself I CAN do something even if I'm low on energy works for me because I struggle most with task initiation.
-> So find what paralyses you from doing the task and make an affirmation that "destroys" that thing.
๐ Going to do tasks in library, cafe, anywhere outside helps with keeping the mind stimulated and more focused. Being in public creates a feeling of "I won't leave until I do it" and eliminates distractions you have at home. Or if you need to be at home, sit in your shoes, full makeup (if you use one) and your "outside clothes".
๐ Like the other person said above, schedule time to let off some steam. Without the scheduled rest, your brain will force it on you.
๐ Always have some change with you in some aesthetically pleasing purse which you will want to keep in your bag/backpack just because of how pretty it is. Generally speaking making things pretty actually helps because your brain will want you to touch it and use it.
๐ If you struggle with RSD, AI helps. Sometimes I have hard time differentiating when it's RSD and when someone is being an asshole to me, so I present situation to chat GPT (I just make sure to be objective - I only write what happened with context) and ask it to tell me if it's just in my head. Yeah, I trust AI more than neurotypicals with moral judgment lol.
๐ Do Not Leave The Kitchen. If like me, you're cooking, you leave to eat the meal and then you completely forget about tidying up or just coming back to kitchen to clean is hard, just eat in the kitchen and clean, or clean quickly (again, in half ass way) before eating. I don't care if I have to stand to eat there, I'm Not Leaving The Kitchen.
๐ Always, I mean ALWAYS, doing something is better than doing nothing. I used to struggle a lot with not starting anything because I wasn't allowing myself to do things in lazy, messy way. So actually...let yourself BE LAZY and CHAOTIC. The most important part of doing things is actually doing them instead of doing them in right way! The easier way you do it, the better.
Please keep in mind that these are things that work for me - every person's ADHD is different. Adjust the tips or make your own according to your needs.
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