My blog is anything you want it to be. @thealtwriter-blog - Tumblr Blog

PSAT POEM

My stickman speaks to me He uses his romantic gritty voice Does a dab And kink shames me for wanting To drill for oil 69 feet down Cockblocking a toadfish And for wanting to find myself a train announcer Who can do both And each time I tell him the same thing How dare he speak to Paulina del Valle He calls me a living boss But I prefer artisanal

Me, taking the PSAT: This is my third year taking this test and I will follow the rules like a good student.

PSAT: don't talk about this test anywhere, especially the internet.

Me: ok

Me: *signs something promising not to talk about it*

Me:

Me: lol #psat am i right guys popping dolphins fake artisians stickman angle DAB lol

Describing ocean sponges

Me before the psats: Sponges live in the ocean?

Me after the psats: THE DOMINANT SPECIES, THE ALIVE DOMINATORS, THE ALMOST LIVING BOSSES, ORGANISMS IN CHARGE

cockingballs

DONT 👏 LABEL 👏 FOOD 👏 AS 👏 ARTISAN 👏 IF 👏 ITS 👏 NOT 👏 REALLY 👏 ARTISAN

hotelmario

*a Michaels employee* sir, some teens are spelling curse words with the wood letters and squatting next to them again

tangled-envisioning

99precincts

that time andy samberg was a complete savage re: the guys choice awards

emilydoesthething

Honestly Andy Samberg is such a treasure.

uh-huh-honey-all-right-deactiva

I always thought he was such a dumb bro but this changes everything

#omg

whenmoments

when u get your license suspended but u got a dog so its ok

macaedh

what the fuck ethan

kvothbloodless

I wish i had a context for this. But I really dont.

pervocracy

I was all ready to “um, actually” this, but, um, actually there’s about 3-4 grams of iron in a person, which x400 is 1.2-1.6kg, which is a smallish but not unreasonable sword. So. Math checks out.

maxknightley

How would you extract the iron, though? The more practical solution would be to kill a mere hundred men, then mix 1 part blood with 3 parts standard molten iron, imo. Cheaper and faster, while still retaining the edge that only evil magic can give you.

bemusedlybespectacled

Or, you could just make the sword of iron, and then use the blood to temper the blade.

squeeful

1.2 to 1.6 kilograms is a perfectly reasonable large sword. Your average longsword was 1.1–1.8 kg and I don’t even remember if that’s including the weight of the hilt, guard, and pommel or just the blade. Your more classic “knight sword” was a mere 1.1 kilograms on average; the blood of 400 men is more than enough.

This is using the comparatively crappy metallurgy of medieval Europe and their meh iron swords. Move east to, say, contemporary Iran and make a scimitar using high carbon steel (~2%) for a .75 kilogram blade and you only need the blood of about 225 men.

optimysticals

So putting my thoughts in on this… because how could I not.

So you’ve exsanguinated your 400 guys to get the iron for your sword. Cool. But now you have 400 bodies lying around.

Why not put those to good use and cremate them. Use the carbon from those 400 bodies (you won’t need all of them) and now you can make a nice mid-high carbon steel sword.

Now you have a sword forged with the blood of your enemies AND strengthened with their bones.